Disclaimer: Twilight does not belong to me... you know the drill.
This is the first story I publish... I'm more nervous about it than I've been before singing in front of 500 people...
I was thinking of going all "Be gentle!" but on a second thought... constructive criticism is more than welcome and I honestly appreciate it.
I am not a writter though, I'm just a singer so...
Tell me what you think! :)
This is written for The Volturi Fanfiction Contest, prompt word "justice"(obviously).
Delivering justice… this is what it is about, isn't it? They've broken the rules and the Volturi don't give second chances.
That's the only reason I'm flying to Forks, Washington. To deliver justice… there are no such thing as personal reasons in this. There shouldn't be. It's what we do, what I've been doing for centuries. My personal opinion is irrelevant…
I am not a destroyer or an executioner. I am not! I am only doing what I have to do to right the wrong done.
I don't have to enjoy it, or agree it… rules must be obeyed and our rules cannot be bent. It's what kept us going for so long. A small vegetarian coven will not change the way of things.
They created an immortal child? Good Lord! I could've sworn the Cullens would know better. I can call them as I like but stupid I never thought them to be. If so, they must pay.
This is not about me seeking vengeance. It is not! I don't hate Isabella Cullen… I don't envy her for having everything I could never have, I don't envy her for being the only creature that I have no power over, I don't envy her for being able to claim the man that she loves, I don't envy her for having a choice at the life she is living. I don't! I have no reason. I need nothing of what she's got. Do I? I already have the world at my feet.
Who is she anyway? Why would she make any difference, she broke the rules, she will pay, just like any other, with or without my wish of vengeance… of breaking the reminder of how truly powerless and weak I am. And empty!
I keep repeating this to myself, that this all there is: justice! We are the guardians of justice and law in our world, are we not?
Then why can't I silence that little voice inside my head reminding me it is not the world at my feet that I want?
It is not power I desire above everything. Those are simple substitutes of everything else that's been taken away from me.
Why can't I chase away guilt? What should it matter to me?
Why do I suddenly let remorse fill my thoughts?
Because I am an emotional fool, because she reminded me how weak I am, because she reminded me the courage and strength I don't posses. And for that I hate her with every fiber of my being!
Because she doesn't think she's better than me, no, of that I am certain. But I believe she is!
Because she shattered every wall and lie I've so carefully pulled together to protect myself.
Because I had to face myself for the very first time in centuries. And I didn't want that! It would destroy me… facing myself without the so carefully built image.
Why? What makes her so special? Why did she have to come along and mirror everything I have always wanted and won't have? Why did she have to throw that in my face?
Justice?!? To hell with justice! When was anything just for me?
When was fate fair to me? Never!
I was trialed and sentenced to death for witchcraft along with my brother. We were barely fourteen. We hadn't even done anything but trying to protect ourselves… we hadn't even known of the "gift" we possessed.
I was changed before I had a chance to grow… in transition, nor a woman, nor a child. Is that supposed to be fair? Is it supposed to be fair to find the missing part of your soul only to realize he already belongs to some one else? Is that justice?
Is it fair not to stand a chance in front of your rival because your loved one would simply refuse to be aware of you, of your feelings? Is it fair for your loved one to ignore you?
He knows! He knows; he probably knew before I even realized it myself. He must've guessed what actually laid beneath my confused thoughts… he chose to ignore it. And it kills me inside. I'd rather have his rejection than this… it would be the end of me, no doubt but it would be something.
So why should I even care if marching to Forks to slaughter the Cullens is justified? To Hell with everything! Bella Swan must burn!
Why should I even care it was not her intention in the slightest to bring me to my knees, to shatter the mask of apathy and sadism I have taken so much to built and master?
And then why do I so need to justify myself? Why can't I push guilt and remorse away? Why do I have to be so aware that with or without Bella Swan I would've still broken down at some point? Why do I have to be so painfully aware that her death will not put me out of my misery? Why can't I just be the monster I have made myself appear to be?
There is no way out for me… so I will do the only things that I've ever been capable of, inflict pain, deliver justice….till there's nothing left of me. I am not supposed to be loving, warm, tender, passionate… I've been denied the possibility of being these…
And Isabella Cullen is guilty for my excruciating awareness. And she will burn!
This is about justice, after all... in a way...