"I am done with my graceless heart, so tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart"- Florence Welch
The first glimmer of radiance from the sun was creeping its way into the night sky, bathing the search team in a soft, ethereal glow as they landed in the courtyard. It was scarcely dawn and each of them were exhausted, but not in the least bit tired. There were too many questions running through their minds. Korra, the one person that might answer any of them, lay sleeping in Mako's lap.
She woke momentarily with a groan when Mako lifted her and did as best he could not to wake her further as he slid down Oogi's tail. The search party walked forward, seeking refuge from their expedition in the main house on Air Temple Island.
Lin paused at the steps, hesitation written in the line of her brow.
The four youngest of their team moved forward unobservant of the unspoken history standing between her and the house. To Lin, it was powerful.
It was Tenzin who noticed. He saw it on her face, he saw it in the way her hands hovered before her just so.
"Come in, Lin," he told her, offering so that she didn't have to ask- ask permission to enter a place she once occupied. The thought of it rankled in her bones and she stood on the spot, unwilling.
"I should go home," she replied, softer than she meant. She wanted it to sound caustic and righteous, but her true feelings seeped in and gave her tone an air of bereavement. She missed it here. She mourned this place.
These steps were the ones she sat on while Katara cleaned her wounds as a child. Skinned knees and scratches from all different adventures landed her in this very spot nearly every summer. She could feel the sting of the ointment used as if it were being rubbed into her very heart at this moment. She only wished it was followed by soothing healers' water.
Tenzin sighed, "Lin, please come in."
It was a sigh of annoyance and it rubbed her the wrong way. The added courtesy of 'please' only intensified her desire to leave. It was patronizing and Lin was never one for being condescended to.
"No," she told him, lifting her hand in protest, "I should get some sleep."
"What about Korra?" He wondered aloud.
Confusion etched out a frown across her face. She had been so caught up in her memories of this place and her resentful feelings for its occupant that she completely forgot about the Avatar.
"What about her?" she asked quickly before considering his words.
Tenzin eyed Lin suspiciously and slowly explained, "She just escaped a kidnapping. I thought you might be interested in finding out what happened."
Lin shook her head, as if clearing out a dark cloud surrounding her mind, "Of course."
Tenzin nodded once before giving her a small smile, a smile he reserved for her. It was a teasing smile, fun-loving, and it smacked of good-natured ribbing, "Maybe you do need some sleep."
He laughed to himself quietly as Lin's lips curled into the snarl of someone who had a sense of humor about their absentmindedness. Tenzin turned, leading Lin down a familiar path and into the front room where the Sato girl sat alone.
She looked up at the adults as they entered, her expression morose. Tenzin reapplied his serious face upon entering his home and politely told Asami and Lin that he would be right back, before disappearing down the hall.
Asami watched Lin, attempting to read her stance for any indication that she might sit. Lin gave no such indication as she paced the room without acknowledging the young woman. She slowed her steps just along a mantle above the fireplace.
Taking in the fine wood, she ran her slim fingers along the smattering of tiny holes formed where she and Tenzin would pin blankets to act as a roof for many of their forts as children. She let her hand slide along the underside, feeling for a well-known indentation. Finding it, she bent at the waist to look.
"Lin Beifong hereby owns Tenzin, son of the Avatar, as her personal slave," it read. Just below was Tenzin's attempt at carving out his signature, left-handed, at age nine. It was a silly gamble that Tenzin lost that day. He was encouraged by Bumi to challenge Lin, who had already begun refining the art of metalbending. Tenzin was still attempting to perfect the air scooter, but his manhood was in question and his freedom was at stake so he challenged her as Bumi instructed. He ended up in the infirmary. Katara bandaged his right arm and the following day he claimed he couldn't possibly sign their binding childhood contract because of his ailment. Lying beside him in their fort, Lin insisted he sign with his working arm regardless. She pulled a pin from her hair and scrawled these words along the underside of the mantle, just above their faces, glowing in the light of the fire. It was somewhere that would never be lost, somewhere that only the two of them would see. He did her chores for a week, useless arm and all.
They both joked of this little carving for years to come. In adulthood, Lin would ask for a back rub after a long day, sinking into the couch Asami now occupied. In defense,Tenzin would show her his growing stack of papers for review and bury his nose in them once again. It only took the faint sound of Lin's fingernail tapping against the wood of the mantle to get him to look up, laugh, and acquiesce.
"Did you want to sit?" Asami offered, shaking Lin out of her reverie.
"Hmm? No, I'm fine," Lin replied, startled by her voice. Lin continued her inspection of the mantle piece, her heart welling when she spotted a portrait of Aang and Katara. It dropped when she laid eyes on an adjacent frame, displaying two strangers. Pema's parents.
"I've never actually been in here," Asami told her suddenly, "in the main house I mean. Feels a little strange."
Lin groaned inwardly, she's trying to make conversation. Unsure how to respond, Lin simply nodded at her, looking as disinterested in this bit of trivia as she possibly could. Her eyes went back to Pema's parents. They were grandparents and probably only a few years older than Tenzin.
"Its a little less extravagant than I would have thought, considering..." Asami trailed off.
"Considering what?" Lin asked curtly. Her brusque reply garnered a look of hesitation from Asami.
"Considering that he is the son of the Avatar and one of the only airbenders in the entire world," the girl explained, "I guess I always assumed it would be kind of like being royalty."
It was. Lin was sometimes so close to the situation that she often forgot about the specialness of Tenzin and his bending. She'd grown up in the middle of it, seen him coddled and accommodated in school, revered and admired by strangers they met throughout their lives. He was something of a novelty. People wanted to know him, to say they'd met an airbender- son of the Avatar, no less. His situation was precarious and it was also ultimately their undoing. At one point in her life she was bitter about their misfortune. She wondered what would have happened if he had been a regular man, without any kind of bending ability. That was in the past- she'd given up questioning their fate years ago, but the bitterness lingered. Her eyes settled on a third portrait, one of his children and she found herself sighing with weariness. She was growing too old, too tired to carry around this animosity.
Asami followed her gaze, "They are pretty cute, huh?"
Lin looked up, "They are," she confirmed with a touch of gentleness. She wondered how many holes his own children had made in this mantlepiece. How many forts and games of tag were still taking place in this room and she felt the heaviness in her chest lighten at the thought.
"Mako has been gone awhile," Asami noted. Lin was trying to remember if he was the earth or the fire bender. She noted the anxious look on Asami's face and discerned it must be the fire bender who had disappeared into a bedroom with Korra in his arms.
"I'm going to go check on them," she finally announced as she stood. Asami had only been gone a minute when a little boy came bounding into the room.
"Dad! There is a strange lady in here," he called over his shoulder when he saw her. It almost made her laugh.
Tenzin appeared behind him, "Meelo this is my friend, Lin. Lin, this is Meelo."
"Hello Meelo," Lin greeted him with a genuine smile. She'd never seen him at this close of range before and there was something so reassuringly familiar about his grin. It reminded her of some wacky mix of Aang and Bumi.
"Hi Dad's friend Lin," Meelo replied as he sauntered past her to the kitchen. The word "friend" hung between her and Tenzin and she realized it was a word she missed. One of the most difficult things about their break up had been losing her best friend. She met eyes with Tenzin and realized he was thinking the same thing. He looked at her softly, nostalgia dancing in his eyes and opened his mouth to say something when his wife entered the room behind him. His mouth closed quickly.
"Oh," Pema gasped faintly at the sight of her husband's ex standing before her, "hello, Lin."
"Pema," Lin responded as diplomatically as possible, though she felt adrenaline searing every cell in her veins. It was a visceral reaction. It was no secret that the two women harbored nothing but ill-will for one another, but they were both grown women capable of civility.
"Lin helped us search for Korra last night," Tenzin explained in a bumbling manner.
"Oh that's wonderful," Pema told them both as sweetly as she could manage, "I'm so glad she is alright. The kids and I were up all night worrying." Pema placed one hand on Tenzin's arm as she spoke and Lin couldn't help her eyes from darting briefly. It was a protective move, a possessive gesture and Lin found herself wanting to shout at Pema that she'd already won. There was no need to rub it in.
"I invited Lin to stay for breakfast," Tenzin said, though he actually hadn't done so just yet.
"No problem," Pema smiled, "the more the merrier, right? I'm going to get started on cooking before Korra wakes up."
She gave Tenzin's cheek a quick kiss and moved on into the kitchen. He and Lin met eyes again and the look she gave him said that she didn't appreciate the little display of domestic bliss.
"Sorry," Tenzin offered, sensitive to the situation.
Lin shrugged, "It's fine."
They were silent for a moment, neither knowing what to say. The room filled quickly with his other children, who were so polite and adorable that Lin couldn't make herself dislike them even if she tried. Jinora in particular held Lin's interest. She was very mature for her age, well-spoken and reminded her so much of Kya. She watched the young girl interact with her sister and father and realized this child had no idea how many nights Lin spent crying about her existence. She was the first. Even after Tenzin had moved on and married, there was some part of Lin that didn't want to let go. The birth of Jinora was like an immovable gate closing off a part of Lin's life she hoped to get back someday.
The hope and desire for rekindling a romantic relationship had been extinguished upon Tenzin and Pema's marriage, but something more profound than that had been taken away with the arrival of this little girl. It felt like Lin was losing her family.
Katara came to town for the birth, but only stayed a few days. There wasn't enough time to fit in a separate meeting with Lin. It stung. With her own mother gone, Lin relied more heavily than she liked to admit on the nurturing Katara. The idea that she had been here, in Republic City, to dote on a grandchild Lin refused to give her made Lin feel guilty and completely dismissed. Katara had spent her time on the island looking after Pema, who was now more of a daughter than Lin would ever be.
Kya stopped in as well, weeks later. She and Lin went out for dinner and drinks, but it was strained. It was difficult to avoid the obvious, though Kya tried her hardest not to mention her excitement at becoming an aunt- Lin ended up talking about it endlessly after a few drinks and putting a damper on the whole evening.
Seeing Jinora now at age ten Lin felt differently about her. She was a person with independent thoughts and feelings- no longer some vague image of a being who had taken her family away, but a living, breathing person. She made polite conversation with Lin, and Lin indulged the girl. They talked about books and things to do around the island. Lin asked if Tenzin had taken her cliff diving off the westward bluffs. Jinora told her that he hadn't and Lin playfully admonished him, explaining that it had been one of her favorite summertime activities.
"How come you know more about this place than I do?" Ikki asked, mildly annoyed that she had never known the joys of cliff diving.
Lin hesitated, "Well...I...I used to spend a lot of time here," she explained.
"Why?" Ikki followed up, rabid curiosity showing itself to be her most distinct trait.
Lin was at a loss for words as the two girls blinked up at her in anticipation. She met eyes with Tenzin, who looked as awkward as she did. Jinora's eyes darted between them.
"Were you my Dad's girlfriend?" she asked plainly, deducing the answer.
"Yes," Lin admitted with a small, uncomfortable laugh. She was a precocious kid.
The conversation ended when Korra arrived, looking worse for wear and hanging onto Mako for support. The children enveloped her with enthusiasm and she did her best to return it.
"Okay, Okay. That's enough kids," Tenzin informed them, "give Korra some space. Why don't you all go get some food and let your mother know Korra is awake?"
They dutifully complied with his request and blew out of the room on a breeze. The children ate their breakfast with a speed and ferocity Lin had not previously encountered. They departed the table quickly, bored of the stilted adult conversation around them. Korra gave the children a run for their money in terms of appetite, downing two plates before she told them of Tarrlok's lineage and bloodbending ability.
It felt natural being here, even with Pema in the room. She and Tenzin sat beside one another as in days gone by, communicating silently. It was second nature to her and when their conversation ended, she realized how much she missed this. The simplicity of them, the understanding. Pema cleared the table and exited the room, without so much as a look from Tenzin and Lin was surprised that she took no joy in that. Something inside her was letting go of that anger. It wasn't a competition. It was just a different kind of relationship than she had with him and for the first time in twelve years, Lin was at peace with that. It was different- not better, not worse.
The table cleared and Tenzin asked Lin to take a walk with him. She obliged, following him back out to the courtyard. He was leaving for an emergency meeting with the council, but he had a favor to ask first. Considering all the chaos, the sinking feeling of Amon's plans coming to fruition- he wanted her to stay here and protect his family. He asked because he trusted her. He trusted her ability, but above all he trusted her loyalty.
When she accepted, it felt clean. It felt like a wound was closing. There was some measure of healing taking place in this courtyard, synonymous in her mind with mending. It was fitting to have this moment in this particular spot. She reached out to him with one hand, placing it on his shoulder. Her touch was meaningful- full of love and devoid of sexuality.
And then she called him that word she'd been yearning to use more than anything else since they parted ways, she called him her friend.