This was just an inspired piece I wrote after reading some of SKF's work. I thank SKF very much for allowing me to write this. This is a continuation to her Lies and Bitter Truths arc. I do suggest reading those first but it is not needed (though you will be missing out on some awesome fanfiction skills!)

Lies: http // www . fanfiction . net / s / 3152471 / 1 / Lies

Bitter Truths: http // www . fanfiction . net / s / 3370923 / 1 / Bitter (underscore) Truths

Rating: R

Pairings: RoxasRiku and implied SoraRiku

Warnings: Disturbing content, Slight sexual refrences

Enjoy!

Sora had known a long, long time ago that something was horrendously wrong.

No, the Heartless weren't attacking again, the Organization hadn't returned, the Nobodies weren't on a rampage, Kairi wasn't kidnapped and Riku hadn't disappeared again.

No, everything was right with the world, everything was in order. Peace rained over the universe, no new wars seemed ready to arise, and his interstellar friends were all happy and safe.

This wasn't a cosmic problem – this problem, in truth, wasn't really important at all. At least, that's if one looked at it in a selfless view, which Sora (almost) always did. That's what made him Sora after all – caring, kind, noble, and self-sacrificing Sora.

Caring, kind, noble, and self-sacrificing Sora was also demented, abnormal, crazy, and slightly screwed-up Sora.

Now, if one added a twist to Sora's personality, maybe made him a little less selfless and a little more selfish – Sora would probably be more concerned about how countless times a week there were gaps in his memory, times when he left home at four and came back at six, with no knowledge of where he had been or what he had done. He would probably be more freaked out about how even after he got a full night's rest he still stumbled through school barely managing to stay awake as if he had been up all night. And lastly, he probably should have been more worried, even scared, about the marks that were consistently beginning to appear on his body – some suspiciously looking like hickeys, others like skirmish wounds.

But Sora was still Sora. And Sora did not let the mental digressions of a war-weary keyblader get to him.

The truth?

Sora was terrified.

----

"You're acting weird, what's wrong?"

"Sora, I'm just thinking, nothing is wrong."

"Would you tell me…would you tell me if something was? Even if it was something bad"

"Of course, Sora."

Riku wasn't the only hypocrite.

----

"Riku?" Sora asked hesitantly, reclining back against the Paopu tree.

"Yes?" Riku was sitting on the edge of the island, fingering a familiar wooden sword in his hands.

"You…" Know what's wrong with me don't you? "You want to spar?"

Riku tilted his head, offering the younger a small, guilty smile. "Sure."

Why aren't you telling me?

----

Sora was dreaming. He knew he was in that omnipotent, all-knowing way that overcomes any dream-self. What he didn't know was why he was watching Riku and himself have sex. Shouldn't he be participating?

The two were desperate, Riku pulling away at black (white) clothing, leaving harsh bites across a revealed collarbone.

No, because when Sora looked again he realized that wasn't him. It wasn't him.

Riku groaned, withering under the younger, reaching his hands up to tangle fingers into spiky brunette (blonde) hair.

It wasn't him who was forcing Riku down on the ground, it wasn't him who was cruelly tearing away at yellow and blue clothing, it wasn't him who was making Riku groan and yell it wasn't him it wasn't him itwasn'thim!

Riku raked fingers down tanned (pale) skin, crying out in ecstasy.

He didn't want to see this. He didn't want to watch Riku make love to another man that wasn't him.

Riku tilted his head back, opening his mouth one last time to utter a final, climaxing scream.

Stop it, Stop it, STOPIT!

"ROXAS!"

That was when Sora realized he wasn't dreaming at all.

----

A Nobody was an entity left over – the body and mind of a person – when a strong heart leaves the vessel. When Sora was thirteen, his heart and Kairi's had merged. To free her heart, Sora had to use the Dark keyblade and altruistically stab himself in the heart – an ultimate sacrifice. He lost his own heart – warping his form down to a Heartless and creating a Nobody in the process.

A shadow was his Heartless.

Roxas was his Nobody.

When he was fifteen, he and Roxas had remerged.

"It's not your body!"

"It's just as much mine."

When Sora was sixteen, he discovered it was Roxas who was overtaking his body, it was Roxas who was keeping him up at night, it was Roxas who made him lose gaps of his life, and it was Roxas who was having sex with Riku.

"It's just as much mine."

However, Roxas shared this body with him – in all rights it was his as well. Sora was willing give (have stolen) his time to the other, less fortunate boy. His Nobody deserved to have a life just as much as the next.

Sora just had to keep telling himself that he was okay with this life. He was okay with having gaps of his life gone (disappear).He was okay learning that he had already lost his virginity; he was okay with the sex without his consent, the raperaperape!

It was okay. It was honestly, truthfully, completely okay.

The real truth?

Sora was shattered to pieces.

----

Their swords knocked together, the wood sounding dull compared to the metal-on-darkness Sora had grown so accustomed to. With an expert flick of the wrist and a painful splinter to his hand, Riku sent Sora's toy sword flying, tripping the boy into the dirt.

"I win!" Riku panted triumphantly, leveling the tip of the sword at the center of Sora's heart.

"…Riku?" Sora whispered, staring up at the boy with moonshine hair and ocean eyes.

The elder tilted his head downwards, a curiously wistful look on his face. "Hmm?"

"I…" Do you want him back? Sora turned his eyes skyward, the blue darkening with unanswered pleas. Help me, help me, god please helpme!

"What is it Sora?" A voice laced with concern.

But Sora just looked the other in the face, a wide, fake grin splitting his features. "I don't remember what the score is!"

----

Sora never lied. He was an honest person who felt guilty over even uttering a little white lie.

Sora never told half-truths either. He had a gracious personality who felt terrible if he ever sugar-coated the proper answer.

However Sora did speak in-between.

Because between a half-truth and a white lie was delusion.