Disclaimer: These are not my characters, they are property of Nintendo. Enjoy.
The little symbols in the parenthesis are faces of characters speaking.

~Zelda went to her cupboard and pulled out a jar of facial cream. She opened the lid and screamed. "Where is all my facial cream!" screamed Zelda.
"I put it into last nights tacos," said Impa.
"No wonder the tacos tasted fruity," gasped Zelda

~Zelda is walking around in Death Mountain, and out of nowhere a dondongo toasted her. "Hey that felt good, a little to the left."

~"Ha aha hah ah ah ha" Ganondorf laughed obnoxiously. Zelda threw half a hotdog down his throat, and he choked.
"Wow, you killed Ganondorf," gasped Link. (O_O)

~Zelda is washing her clothes in the laundry pool, then she poors in some chocolate. "I am definitely going to smell good on my date!"

~Zelda is talking to her father about getting married.
King: I am sorry but you must marry Ganondorf.
Zelda: Like I am going to marry that clod!
King: yes, you are going to marry that clod!
Ganondorf: So I am a clod am I, this allegience is finished! (*_*)
Ganondorf destroys the castle with his black magic.

~Zelda and Impa are having a fight.
Zelda: Link help me over here!
Link: I am sorry Zelda, I don't referee cat fights.
Zelda's face has many scratches on it, and her arms have bite marks.
Zelda: LOOK AT ME! I AM RUINED! (o_o)

~Zelda gets a hold on the triforce. "Now I will be all powerful, hee hee hee, (cough cough)"
Zelda pulls out an inhaler, takes a deep breath, then dies, because Link put poison gas in her inhaler.

~Link hits Zelda with a fire arrow on her face. "My face is ruined," cried Zelda, "Better get some of my Tropical oil of Olay, and wrinkle cream.