"Renji… what should I do?"
Sometimes Renji would dream about that day.
In his dreams, he told her not to do it.
In his dreams, he asked her not to go.
In his dreams, he begged her not to leave him.
In his dreams, she always agreed to the adoption.
In his dreams, she left the academy and moved into the Kuchiki estate.
Even when he dreamed, he could never have her.
When they were children she would sometimes sleep next to him. She would curl into his side and rest her head on his shoulder and he would hold her all night long. Whenever it was cold or she was frightened, she slept next to him. For weeks after the deaths of each of their companions, she slept next to him. She was his best friend, his comrade, his family.
She was all he had back then.
She was all he wanted now.
When a sleeping Abarai Renji-fukutaichou felt a weight settle next to him, he made room on his pallet. When he felt a small body nestle into his side he cradled it close. When a head rested against his shoulder he turned his face and pressed his lips its forehead.
When a quiet voice whispered in the dark, "Renji… what should I do?"
He mumbled the answer he always gave in his dreams. "Don't do it…don't go… please, don't leave me… please…stay."
He felt her arm go around him, but it wasn't until he felt tears soaking his yukata that he woke up enough to realize that he hadn't been dreaming after all.
After he got over the shock of her presence he asked, "Rukia, what's wrong?"
"Kuchiki," she sobbed. Whether she meant the man, the clan, or the weight of bearing the name, he didn't know. But it really didn't matter it was all one in the same as far as Renji was concerned.
"Yeah," he said sympathetically and rested his chin on the top of her head.
She brought her face up to look at him and their lips brushed momentarily. They both froze. Rukia's eyes were wide with surprise and Renji could feel a blush rising up his neck. He stared into her gaze. Neither of them moved.
"Renj-" Rukia started to say.
She stopped talking when he kissed her. Yes, she was a Kuchiki. Yes, he was just a stray dog from the Rukongai. But she was also the only person who had ever meant anything to him. The only person he'd do anything for. The only person he loved. And he knew she loved him, too. He'd seen it in her eyes.
She deepened the kiss and he cradled the back of her neck, knotting his fingers in her hair.
He broke the kiss first, when he felt her begin to hesitate. He rested his palm on her cheek and tilted her chin up with his thumb until she met his gaze. "I'm not sorry," he told her. When she didn't answer he asked, "Are you?"
Rukia wrapped both of her arms tightly around him and buried her face in the side of his neck. "No," came the muffled reply. "Never."
In the morning he was alone.
The collar of his yukata was dry.
If it weren't for the three dark hairs clinging to his sleeve, he might have thought it had all been another dream.
A/N: Sorry for any perceived OOC-ness on the part of Rukia. This originally came in the middle of a larger fic I was working on, but it wasn't coming together for me and I really LOVED this chapter and wanted to post. Please R&R... if you think you'd like to read more about where I 'd been and where I was going with this let me know and I will try to finish it up.