Fic:
Written For: Jello-Forever February Challenge
Prompt: Love Songs
Pairing: Jisbon
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I just own my cell.
Dedicated to: Yaba and Tromana
Even though I'm still a pain in her ass, I still care very much about her.
I came to the conclusion that a thousand words are nothing compared to what she's done for me.
Between saving my ass from getting killed and saving me from the darkness surrounding my soul, she still has her own life to take care of, but she's selfless to the point where she keeps by my side, trying to make me love her and move on from the past that has glued me to the sole purpose of finding Red John.
I used to run, when things would become more intimate. But now, she has taught me that running, perhaps it's not the only alternative, and that maybe, maybe, I still have a chance finding happiness again.
I wouldn't think about moving on with other woman, except her. She has become the light in the end of the tunnel.
She makes me believe that there's something good in this human being I've become.
Loving her it's not impossible. Would I shot Hardy without thinking twice if I didn't feel something beyond friendship over her?
Would I give her Red John? Yes.
Would I do anything to hurt her? Never.
Would I give anything for her? Absolutely.
Would I kill for her? Without second thoughts about it.
Would I search the whole world if she was missing? Yes, I would.
Would I be able to love her? Completely.
Last week we were having dinner at her apartment, and talking about the case. A mother shot her only daughter because her daughter was engaged to the young man her mother loved.
Confused? I was.
And now that I'm thinking about it, maybe that was when there was that connection between us, and maybe, that was when I started to see her in a different light, a different-no-friendship-anymore kind of light.
"You know, I would like to know what in God's name possessed that woman to do something like that"
"Sometimes, people just fight and kill for the ones they love"
"She couldn't love her daughter's fiancé. What kind of mother was she?"
"Simple. She was not a mother, she was a woman who saw her future relationship threatened by her own daughter. That's why she killed her"
"What is it with jealous murderers?"
"Jealousy isn't the motive. At least, that's what they believe. Love it's what guides them to kill the others. Love is the thing that makes you feel alive and the lack of it leaves you empty, jealous and bitter towards the others. We are humans, and as such, we were born to find our mate. Our desires were not meant to be denied and if someone or something gets in the middle of what we want, we need to take them down, and we do it, screw the consequences if that means we get to stay with the person we love"
"Yeah, but people do crazy things for what they claim is love, but in the end is just that passion that with time, goes away"
"There are people who don't accept that, you know? People who do everything they can for that passion to not go away, and in the end, a man will always love a woman and vice-versa, but in different ways. When there's love AND passion, a couple has everything to make it through"
"Hmmm… I agree"
"Really?"
"Yeah. I also believe in love and passion and in the need for the skin-to-skin contact between the human being"
"Yeah, but there's still a difference between meaningless sex and the act of making love"
"I know"
"No, you don't. Don't get mad at me, but what you had in the past, especially with Bosco, was never a real relationship. It was an arrangement. Both of you were there for each other. Meaningless comfort sex, not making love, and I bet you've never tried it, either. Am I wrong?"
"No, you're not. And I'm not mad at you, really. You're absolutely right. But, what's the difference?"
"Between sex and making love?"
"Yeah"
"Hmmm… Let's see it this way. A hip-hop song equals meaningless sex, while a love song, adds something more special both to the dance and the act of making love. While sex is a frenzied at where the couple pays attention to their own needs, making love takes its time and it's about knowing the other's body, worshipping every bit of flesh available, making them feel the most important thing in the whole world"
I observed the strong human in front of me. Her green eyes, darkening with desire, dazed, her breathing turning erratic…
It was wrong for me to think about her this way, but she is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen when she looks at me like that.
I am in the leather couch, feigning sleep, knowing that she still is in her office.
My relationship with her had gone beyond professional.
I was certain that we were running around in circles, running away from the love songs that always tried to catch us and put us together. Right now, I was trying to stop thinking her, trying to get my heart to stop thundering whenever we were in the same room.
I'm ready to admit that I, Patrick Jane, am completely and madly in love with her.
I got out of the couch, heading to her office, opening the door, not bothering to knock, and I open my mouth to tell her how I feel.