Disclaimers: The wonderful characters belong to the USA Network, Steve Franks and the rockass cast & crew of Psych. I'm not making any money with this, if I tried to Lassie would prolly arrest me for solicitation or something. Really don't want that, so keep your money and just enjoy :D
Notes: I wrote this forever ago, like before season 4 even had started… but since it is clearly way beyond too hardcore for PF it hasn't been posted yet. However I was just convinced to just go ahead and post it here :D So thanks for that V, it's officially your fault now! ;P
(sorry for the double post, I just decided I'd rather start a new account here for my psych stuff, I'll delete it off the other one again)
PS: Time to come out of the closet you Shules smut lovers! There's WAY too little kinky!Shules or even vanilla!Shules !!! ;P So go ahead and grab a spoon or spork! :D cause you're about to dig into the delicious flavor that is Pineapple Pudding :D
Enjoy, D.
Why Even Jimmy Buffett Had To Chill
"Gah, Shawn... cleaning up once a month at least might be a good idea..." The blonde Detective muttered to herself. Alone in the Psych office she was looking for the ringing phone that she could hear but not see anywhere. She was now going through his desk-drawers and piled on his desk were the things she did find in there: a pack of gum, a pineapple chew toy for dogs, a still unopened box of condoms, three empty beer cans, the cut off legs of a pair of jeans, hair gel, a pizza cutter, a Jimmy Buffett CD (without its case), a bottle of water and a lot more that didn't belong there.
A beep indicated that Juliet's search had been in vain, the machine was picking up the call. "Shawn, it's Gus, just letting you know that I won't come in today. I just got assigned this big account. And please don't put the phone in the fridge again! It does NOT need to chill."
Unable to help it Juliet laughed at that and decided to check the last place she normally ever would in search of a phone. Opening the fridge she rolled her eyes because indeed, there was the phone. Grabbing it she saw another water bottle. Chilled water on the other hand was a good idea in this heat wave, so she snatched a bottle and took a sip. As she was closing the door, something else caught her eye: The Jimmy Buffett CD case. "Now, you don't belong here either." Wondering why Shawn would put that in there she took it out as well, closed the fridge and went back to his desk where she put the phone where it belonged, her water aside and picked up the CD to put it in its case. Opening the case however, she saw that it was already occupied by a DVD that had 'Holy shit Jules!' written on it. Frowning she decided to see what that was about and put it in the DVD player.
She saw the camera was directed at Shawn's desk and him sitting behind it wearing his blue ringer T. "Come on dude, so what if we don't have a case? Let's go down to the station and pester Lassie a bit, I'm sure we'll find something to work on while we're there."
"You just want to go there so you can shamelessly flirt with Juliet. But here's a newsflash: She's just not that into you!" Though he was off-camera, this clearly was Gus' voice.
"I would never flirt with Detective O'Hara... let alone shamelessly!" The huge grin on Shawn's face however made it clear that Gus had been spot on with his guess. And Juliet couldn't help but blush a bit. Although she'd never said anything, the thought that sometimes they showed up at the station because that was all Shawn wanted to do, had crossed her mind. Not that she'd complain about it, even though she'd never admit that.
"Whatever Shawn, I have some real work that needs doing." And with that you could see Gus walking past Shawn's desk and leave.
The next couple of minutes were just Shawn crumpling up paper and tossing it at their basket-trashcan. Most of them were hits.
"Shawn?" She could hear her own voice now, the way it always sounded when recorded, opposed to the way it sounded when she heard herself talk. Then her legs appeared on the screen, wearing her beloved blue high heels, a lot of nothing covering those legs followed by a short summer dress that was blue and had this cute wavy pattern that always made her want to go swimming. Her hair was flowing freely. Gasping as she saw herself walking up to Shawn there, she remembered exactly when this was, and not only because it had only been a couple of days ago. In fact it was why she was here right now. They'd meant to talk about what had happened but hadn't gotten around to it yet, mainly because they'd been ignoring each other, not ready to talk just yet.
"Oh no, you didn't!" The Juliet who was watching the DVD jumped up and yelled at the Shawn sitting behind his desk on the TV. "If this is what I think it is, I swear I'm gonna kill you Spencer!!!"
"Jules!" Grinning Shawn jumped up from his chair and greeted her, his back to the camera now. "Nice dress Detective!"
"Don't start Shawn, Carlton already gave me hell about how unprofessional I'm looking. But honestly? I don't care! It's too damn hot for looking professional today..." Grabbing the running mini-fan from Shawn's desk she closed her eyes and enjoyed the cold air hitting her face for a moment.
"Hey, I'm not complaining, I swear... personally I think you should wear stuff like this all the time... actually, bikinis..." Still grinning he was taking the opportunity to check her out as much as he could while her eyes were closed.
What the watching Juliet, who had sat down again, now also did to him there. The heat wave had gotten to him too it seemed because he was wearing flip-flops, a pair of cut off jeans (most likely the other half of what she'd found in his desk earlier) and a light blue ringer tee shirt. Enjoying to have that view just to herself she let her eyes wander over his naked legs and lingered on his ass for a while. At this point she knew she probably should just switch this off, but she was too curious about how much exactly he had taped.
"Anyway," on-screen Juliet cut him off, putting the fan back down again, "I only have a minute, Carlton's outside in the car, waiting for me. He didn't want me to come here in the first place, but we have to wrap up this case and one of the witnesses is missing. It's not even a big deal cause we got the guy and he confessed and everything, still, it's odd that she'd go off the grid so suddenly. So, have you by any chance had any visions lately that could relate to a stripper somehow?"
"A stripper, huh?" With a smirk Shawn put his hands to his temple. "Let's see... oh, yeah, there seems to be something coming in right now... I'm gonna need your help to channel it though. Can you do that Jules?"
"Uhh, I guess I can try... what do you want me to do?" Looking back at that now, she couldn't believe she hadn't seen right through him there. And what had possessed her to even go there in the first place? Or had it just been the heat that had made her claim something she'd wanted for a while?
"The spirits want you to climb on my desk..." Keeping his eyes closed Shawn pointed at his desk with one hand.
For whatever reason Juliet obliged and climbed on his chair and from there on his desk. "Okay, now what?"
"Seriously?" Even Shawn sounded surprised that she had actually done that. Sitting back down in his chair he now kept his eyes glued on her. "Okay, awesome, see, the spirits want you to help me focus on her aura..."
"Just tell me what to do Shawn..." Watching him grab his Macbook she crossed her arms.
"Well..." With a smirk he put the Macbook aside again as Madonna's 'Erotica' started playing. "Show me what she'd do..."
With an angry growl Juliet glared at him. "There's NO way in hell I'm taking my clothes off for you Shawn! She wasn't that important as a witness!"
"Hey, it's not me who wants that... it's the spirits. They want me to take off my clothes too actually... here, I'll start." And with that he pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it aside.
Only quickly glancing at his naked chest Juliet knew she had to get out of there, now. With him still in his chair she couldn't step on it and then down to the ground again, so she just jumped. Which hadn't been that good an idea in heels because she lost her balance and almost fell.
But Shawn was quick enough to jump up from his chair and had his arms around her right away, steadying her. "Hey now, careful there..." His naked chest was pressing against her.
"Thanks..." Glad about not falling down, Juliet's hands right away had gone around his waist and even though now she was steady on her feet again, still remained there. "I uhm..." With a mind of their own those hands of hers enjoyed the feeling of his naked skin beneath them so much that they slowly started to caress his back.
"You're very welcome." Whispering Shawn pulled her even closer and leaned in, letting his lips brush against hers.
"Not gonna happen Shawn..." Taking a step back towards his desk Juliet knew she should take her hands off him but couldn't move them away from his skin and thus just ended up pulling him back to his desk with her.
"Nothing happening at all..." Moving backwards with her with every step she took he allowed his lips to find hers again, slightly nuzzling against them this time.
Reaching the desk and unable to go further now Juliet eagerly responded to the kiss this time by nuzzling a bit of her own before parting her lips and flickering her tongue against his lips teasingly before withdrawing it back into her mouth again.
Naturally Shawn went for the bait. As his hands started to explore the unfamiliar territory of her back, his tongue darted out of his mouth and after tracing her lips found the way into hers, greeting the tip of her own tongue.
Not idle either, her left hand stayed on his back, wandering all over it, as her right hand stroked along his side before getting familiar with his stomach. Inside her mouth her tongue ran around his in circles and then decided it was time for his mouth to be invaded as well.
Moaning into her mouth Shawn's right hand had found the hem of her dress and played with it for a bit before discarding it for her thigh which clearly was more interesting right now. Slowly he slid it down to her knee and back up again, not stopping at the hem this time he followed her thigh further up.
Tongues still dueling in a frenzy, Juliet's hand made its way upward from his belly and right away went for his left nipple. Drawing circles around it with her forefinger while her middle one graced over it and sent a signal to her brain that it was as hard as her own.
Breaking the kiss for a quick breath before starting to nibble on her earlobe, Shawn's left hand cupped Juliet's ass, pressing her hard against his crotch to make her feel just what exactly she was doing to him.
Groaning she trailed to his other nipple to repeat the treatment there and let her other hand come around to his front where she directly went to his groin, letting her fingernails scratch over the bulge in his jeans.
Unable to help bucking against her hand Shawn slightly whimpered and from her earlobe went to her neck, licking and sucking until he found that certain spot there that made her moan and cock her head to the side to give him better access. He of course took advantage of that and his sucking intensified to a whole other level while the hand under her dress went even further up where he expected to find a pair of panties... but didn't. He let it travel to her ass to make sure he hadn't missed a tiny thong or something.
Apparently guessing what Shawn was missing there she whispered in his ear, "It's too hot to be wearing anything that isn't necessary..." she moaned at his constant attention to her neck and quickly unbuckled his belt, unzipped his jeans and let it fall down all in the same heartbeat. Gently tugging at his earlobe with her teeth she slipped her hand into his boxers, gasping as she gently felt along his cock for the first time.
With a deep throaty growl Shawn realized that foreplay was going to be a lot shorter than he'd thought, judging by Juliet's actions at least, so he left her neck alone and slipped the straps of her dress over her shoulders and down her arms. Happily he memorized the sight of her breasts for a second before cupping one with his hand and letting his thumb flicker over the nipple while the other one got all the attention from his mouth, kissing all over it before his tongue circled around and all over her nipple and then settled to sucking on it heavily.
Withdrawing her hands from him so she could slip her dress off completely Juliet whimpered in desire as she leaned into him and reaching behind her with one hand she quickly swiped whatever was on his desk down on the ground so she could lay back down on it.
Following her Shawn crawled on top of her, kissing and sucking on her other breast now, while his hands started gliding along the insides of her thighs. "Just so you know..." He whispered against her boob. "I'm naming these Pineapple and Pudding, cause they taste so good..."
Laughing at that she stroked through his hair with one hand before she moaned again. Then she slid down his boxers and started stroking his dick slowly with one hand and the other one massaged his balls.
With a loud groan and following her thighs all the way to her cunt Shawn explored its outside with one hand, the thumb of the other one lovingly yet urgently went to attack her clit while his forefinger probed inside her moist folds, feeling her getting wetter even more the more he stroked her insides.
Yelping and moaning and wanting so much more right now Juliet spread her legs for him. "Uhh, Shawn, do you have any..." Another groan escaped her throat and made her trail off.
Knowing what she was getting at Shawn quickly thought about it. "Damn... no..." Starting to kiss his way down her abdomen he decided he'd just eat her out instead.
"Yeah nevermind." Not really giving a damn about anything right now, Juliet pulled his head back up to hers and claimed his mouth with her own, frenching him full of fire as her hand helped him position himself at her entrance.
Upon hearing 'nevermind' Shawn's head went blank. Thus not being able to come up with any reason why that'd be a bad idea, he went for it and slowly entered her, causing them both to growl in delight. Carefully pushing in all the way he gazed at the joyful face she was making.
Her muscles adjusted around his cock and she grinned at him, mirroring his own grin. Looking deep into his eyes she encouraged him to keep going with an upward nudge from her hips.
Complying right away Shawn started moving slowly yet eagerly. His own eyes were lost deep inside hers and one hand used to steady himself on his desk, the other stroking over her belly.
Wrapping her legs around his hips she pushed him in even further and her hands were all over his chest again, caressing and teasing.
Feeling like everything around them was spinning, Shawn increased his pace, feeling her moving with him, her hands all over him, his hands all over her, her scent already burned into his memory, Juliet was everything to him right now.
Their moans and groans filled the air around them and Juliet leaned up between thrusts, moving him backwards with her, so that they sat on the desk. Climbing into his lap, she wrapped her arms around his neck. Eyes locked on each other, she smiled at him shortly before devouring him with another passionate kiss as she slid down his erection like it was all she'd ever done in her life.
Shawn wrapped his arms around her, pulling her as close as he could, moaning into her mouth, feeling her boobs slide along his chest as she was riding him, which made him buck into her so much harder.
Growling from deep inside her, her arms and legs around him, their tongues fighting their own holy war, both of them thrusting like there was no tomorrow, she realized that this was what being alive was all about.
Fully aware that he was about to blow, Shawn trailed kisses from her mouth, all along her neck and down to her tits to enjoy the Pineapple Pudding taste again while his hand was slipping between their bodies, finding her clit right away he started rubbing and pressuring all over and around it.
"Sha... Sha... Sha..." Was all Juliet was able to get out between moans when she felt her core becoming her most important and dominant body-part. Digging into his back she was slamming down on him harder and faster than she thought possible.
Sensing she was right where he wanted her Shawn put more pressure on her clit while grinding up against her harder and faster himself, his other hand holding her close on the small of her back. Concentrating on all of her aspects his senses went haywire, yet somehow, somewhere he knew that this was it, this was what made him whole. This scent, this sound, this taste, this vision, this feeling all over his skin: this enigma wrapped in a little blonde riddle.
Biting down her lower lip and digging her nails even further into Shawn's back to stop herself from uttering a primal scream that would without doubt have somebody calling the cops Juliet felt like she was being ripped apart from the inside out as she was flooded by Shawn literally and figuratively.
Heavily sucking on that delicate spot on Juliet's neck he had discovered earlier Shawn kept letting go of everything inside him, jamming up against her without reservations while she continued to slide up and down. They kept going like that until they were absolutely certain that the last rippling waves of their climax had subsided.
Sweaty and fulfilled they now were clinging onto each other in that state of post-orgasmic bliss, their breathing ragged and uneven neither of them was quite able to make sense of what had just overcome them.
"Holy shit Jules!" Was the only thing Shawn said after a while, smiling at her and cupping her cheek, caressing it gently with his thumb as he was once again lost inside her eyes.
Still not quite able to breathe normally again Juliet leaned in and gave him a tender lingering kiss on the lips before untangling herself from him. She got off the desk, grabbed her dress and trying not to look like she was still wobbly put it back on.
Unable to speak Shawn just watched her. Watched as she put her dress back on, watched as she staggered over to the sink like she'd just finished off a whole bottle of Tequila by herself. Watched as she drank right from the faucet and let the water wash all over her face. And watched her walk out as steady as she could manage.
And for a while the TV kept showing Shawn sitting there, staring after her completely perplexed until the screen went blank.
That pulled Juliet back into reality again and she caught herself with her hand between her legs. Having just watched that and all the memories about it that had seamlessly interwoven into it she looked around to make sure Shawn hadn't walked in on her yet.
Taking a deep breath she tried to make sense of everything that was happening in her head right now. First and foremost, oh yeah, there was no denying: she was so horny right now that she was tempted to use anything and everything within reach to finish herself off. But being so painfully aware of what the reality had been like, there was no way she'd waste herself on a fantasy that couldn't come close. And she knew for a fact that it didn't even reach the same ZIP-code. After all she'd given herself away to that particular fantasy quite a few times before it ever happened and after it had, just remembering it had sent her to seek a quiet corner where she could be alone and uninterrupted more often than would be healthy to admit.
Closing her eyes Juliet took several deep breaths. 'Damn him!' She thought to herself. 'Damn him for making me feel this flustered!'
Even though after the sex with Shawn she had been even more shook up. And yet she had just walked out on him like it had been nothing. Laughing she remembered how she'd tried to just go back to work, had prayed that Carlton wouldn't somehow see it in her eyes, smell him on her, see the guilt written all over her.
"Dammit, O'Hara, what the hell took you so long in there?" Angrily he had looked at her when she'd returned to the maroon Crown Vic.
Unable to stop smirking she had known there was nothing she could've told him that would only resemble a reasonable explanation, so all she could've done was hope that the truth would be the best lie: "We ended up having dirty nasty crazy monkey sex right there on his desk and I'm not ashamed to admit it." Smirking even broader she had gotten into the car and enjoying her partner's perplexed look she had buckled up.
"You spend way too much time with that guy O'Hara. You're starting to sound like him sometimes." Muttering he had started the engine. And either because he'd been mad at her about the lie or because he really hadn't wanted to know the truth, he'd never again asked about what she'd done in Shawn's office so long.
Carefully she touched the spot on her neck where a lot of make-up was now covering up the hickey he had given her. When she'd discovered that she'd been so glad that despite the heat she'd worn her hair open that day because if anything had kept it hidden it had been her hair.
At least if Carlton or anybody else had suspected anything, no one had said anything to her about it. And even Shawn had left her alone. Except for that one phone call that her machine had picked up: "So uhhh yeah... we probably should talk or something... ya know... whenever you're ready... as long as you bring pineapple pudding."
Of course he'd had to bring that up in there somewhere. But that was just Shawn, joking over his insecurities, she knew that much about him by now. And she remembered how glad she'd been that he'd wanted to talk, even though she hadn't been anywhere near ready yet. The next couple of days whenever they had seen each other, there were looks between them and every now and then one of them would open their mouth but close it again. Until this morning when she had walked up to him and barked out: "Lunch, Chinese, your office."
He had just smiled and nodded in agreement before running after Gus, probably knowing he'd better leave her alone until lunch.
So here she was now. Shawn had let her in earlier and then right away ran off to get that Chinese food. Where the hell was he getting it from anyway? All the way from China? Though right now she was glad about still being alone.
But what in the world had possessed her to wanting to answer that phone? Idly she played around with the box of condoms, her stomach tightening as she realized what she had in her hands. Yet another thing she couldn't wrap her head around. She had never been that foolish and reckless in her life before. So why on earth would she agree to unprotected sex with Shawn Spencer of all people?!
Quickly making a mental note about him getting condoms, just in case, she put that particular thought right to the back of her head again, where it had come from. Right now that was something that didn't need deeper consideration.
Not with her so certain she'd do it all over again. Not after everything was so very fresh in her mind again. That sex... that curl your toes, bless the gods to be alive sex... she had no words for it. It wasn't that she'd never had good, even incredible sex before. But fucking Shawn had banished all she'd ever known until then into a corner where she'd kept all her experiences that weren't worth repeating.
Glancing at the Jimmy Buffett CD-case made her sigh and brought a question to the front that she couldn't believe she'd ignored the longest out of all that crazy chaos in her head. Why the hell was there a sex tape? How could there be a sex tape? Had he had a vision and set up the camera? No, not even Shawn would do that... besides, the whole psychic visions thing... but she wouldn't think about that now either.
And why the hell wasn't she more upset about the existence of this damn sex-tape? Because it was so incredibly hot to just have watched herself getting her brains fucked out by Shawn? And damn had that been hot... so hot that now all that prevailed her brain was that unbearable rhapsody of horniness.