Daddy, Are You a Vampire?
by: .Sweet-Krazy.03.
Summary: AU Anakin tells Luke and Leia about his 'little secret.'
Characters: Anakin, Obi-Wan, Padme, Luke, Leia
Genre: Humor/Horror
Rating: T for mild violence and minor language
DISCLAIMER: .Sweet-Krazy.03. does not own 'STAR WARS' or anything else mentioned in this fanfiction that obviously belongs to someone else.
A/N: HAPPY 1ST DAY OF AUGUST! This piece is my 1st Star Wars fic. Oddly enough, it was inspired by watching the music video for 'Everybody (Backstreet's Back!)' by the Backstreet Boys. I was randomly watching it on one of my cousins' CD's and the idea just came to me. Hoping everyone will enjoy...
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Prologue: Twins of DOOM!
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"DADDY!"
"Muh?" Anakin mumbled in his sleep. He rolled up against Padme and pushed her to the edge of the bed. All it took was one little movement from Padme to send her overboard. Ironically, just as she was about to hit floor, Anakin stuck his hand out and levitated her to his side of the bed so she wouldn't fall off again. Still asleep, Anakin used the Force to place her arm around his neck.
Two minutes later, his neck started to get warm so he used the Force to remove Padme's arm. He turned over on his chest and placed his arm around Padme. Then, he started to feel a bit lonely, so he used the Force to place Padme's arm back around his neck.
It was all going great for a few minutes, but then Anakin started to feel hot again, so with a flick of his index finger, Padme's arm went flying up. Unfortunately, it came down with twice as much force on his rear-end.
SMACK!
Anakin snorted and started to choke. He moved Padme's arm with his fleshyhand and massaged his throat with the mechanical hand. Unconsciously, he turned away from Padme and rolled right off the bed.
THUD!
There was a brief period of silence before the sound of loud snoring filled the air. That was followed by the occasional coughs and snorts, but generally, peace had returned...
"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"
"LEIA!" Anakin shrieked. He jumped up, wiped off the excess drool, grabbed his lightsaber, and bolted out the door.
He sprinted down the hallway like the 'Flash' and into the room on the left.
SWOOSH! went the door as he entered the florescent pink room. The moment he was in, he froze.
"L-Leia?" The name barely left his mouth.
There, sitting up on her bed, was Leia Skywalker. But there was something different about her. It was unnerving, and it freaked Anakin out so much that he began to twitch randomly. Her long, auburn hair hung loosely past her shoulders, and her face looked as if it had paled a few tones. The moonlight seeped in through the window and illuminated her skin to give it a milky texture. Her lips had turned a sickening blue that gave Anakin a head-ache. The color of her eyes also looked a few shades darker. They almost seemed black, and hollow. As if there was no life in her...
Anakin shuddered at the thought and waved it off. He didn't believe there was anything in the galaxy that could ever bring down his daughter.
Then, what happened?
Leia looked anything, but human. Her features, even her aura seemed to resemble that of a phantom. This ghost couldn't possibly be his daughter, could it? His daughter was a headstrong young lady, so much like Padme in her teenage years. Heck, she could be Queen, Chancellor if she wanted to. Was this fragile shell that resembled Leia really his own daughter?
Anakin dropped his lightsaber and slowly advanced towards Leia. He took his place by her bedside.
"Leia?... Princess?" He whispered comfortingly. Still, no response.
There was an eerie quiet that filled the atmosphere. It shrouded the room like fire. It was becoming quite intoxicating. Whatever had possessed Leia was still a mystery, and he couldn't sense it.
That was the thing though. If there was a disturbance in the force, surely, he would've felt it? Especially, something so... scary like this. It puzzled Anakin. If he couldn't sense it, then this unknown threat truly was a threat to Leia... and Luke and Padme. He needed to figure out what was going on, and fast. His family was on the line, and he'd never forgive himself if anything should happen to them. Especially, something that could be prevented.
Anakin studied Leia, and noticed her distant gaze. She appeared to be staring out at nothing in particular, but it could be anything. A poltergiest, perhaps? Again, it just didn't add up considering that this was THE Leia Skywalker. It took A LOT to spook her.
Anakin couldn't help but crack a faint smile. He couldn't live without such an icon in his life.
"Please Leia... Tell me what's wrong..." Anakin pleaded softly. He reached out to touch her face when suddenly she snapped her head in his direction, causing him to flinch. Her gaze locked in with his and it sent spiders up and down his spine.
"Hello Daddy..." She whispered in a strange voice. It was hers, but so emotionless...
"Leia?" Anakin stared wide-eyed at his teenage daugher.
"Daddy...Sweet Daddy..." Leia replied in an almost hypnotic way. She slipped out from under the covers and closed in on her father. "Daddy..."
Anakin was growing more weary by the second. Beads of sweat ran down the side of his face. He assumed a calm, very Jedi-like, fascade and fought the urge to panic at Leia's creepy-ness.
Meanwhile, Leia grew ever so close. She stopped abruptly and watched Anakin spaz slightly.
"Daddy, are you a vampire?"
Anakin's blood froze.
"N-N-NO! W-WHY DO Y-Y-YOU ASK!" Anakin stuttered insanely.
Did she know?
Leia chuckled deeply, in an almost Sith-like manner.
Oh God no... Not the Sith again...
"No reason..." She began. "It's just that--"
Leia pounced on Anakin and forced him back against the wall in one swift movement. She paused for about half a second before she caught him in a an embrace. Anakin's freak-out level was at an all-time high now.
"Daddy, can you keep a secret?" Leia whispered into his ear.
If he wasn't in such a situation, Anakin would've giggled because that tickled.
"O-Of c-c-c-course, p-p-p-prin-c-cess..." His stuttering grew worse.
Another long pause...
Leia shifted from the hug and studied his neck, running her finger along the veins. She blinked and made eye-contact with Anakin. The more he stared back, the more he felt like he was sinking into darkness. Then, the transition began, and her eyes turned a bright crimson color.
"M-m-m-m-m-mom-m-m-y..."
"I am one..." She whispered, but the words never made it to Anakin because of what came next...
Leia opened her mouth in a malicious grin, bearing her... fangs...
Anakin's eyes widened to the point where they looked anime. The freak-out meter had officially exploded! PANIC NOW!
Leia made her way to his neck, but Anakin was faster. He took his hand and levitated Leia. A look of surprise broke out on her face.
"I'm so sorry, Leia... Please don't tell you're mom..." He said on the verge of a breakdown. Then, in one quick gesture he threw Leia against the wall to his left.
THUNK!
She slid to the floor, unconscious, giving Anakin the chance to go get Padme. This wasn't something that he could handle by himself. He grabbed his lightsaber on the way out and ran like a madman back to his room. He almost wanted to scream, but he feared that he might wake Luke in the process. He wanted to keep at least one sane person in the house. It would involve months of therapy before Anakin could finially get over whatever had just taken place between him and Leia.
At least she isn't a Sith Lord... Anakin smiled weakly, but it faded when a stray thought hit him. What if there are Sith vampires! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! Anakin quickened his pace. Time was running out...
It'd be morning soon, and maybe Padme could make some of her special bacon for him with the whipped cream and gummy bears and--
"OOF!" all of a sudden, he tripped over something, and fell a centimeter short of the stairs. Anakin groaned and stared down at the fall he had just avoided.
The Will of the Force is very questionable...
He turned around and looked at what he'd tripped over. It was a person. Leaning over the body, Anakin closely examined it.
Unkept, shaggy, blond hair...
"LUKE!" Anakin shrieked, grabbing patches of his own hair. He knelt down beside him and pulled the poor boy onto his lap. He moved the stray bangs that hung over his face. His skin was so pale, much like Leia's; his body was so limp, and motionless.
"SPEAK TO ME, MY LIMP AND MOTIONLESS SON!" Anakin yelled in Luke's face, spit flying everywhere. He shook him, and I mean he SHOOK him! He shook Luke horizontally, vertically, upside down, diagonally, at a fifteen-degree angle. Heck, he even made an origami boat out of the lad. Anakin shook him to the point when all of the credits and fake-ID's came out of Luke's pockets. Anakin shook him to the point when all of the credits and fake-ID's came out of his own pockets.
Still no Luke.
Anakin refused to give up, but eventually he became tired and placed Luke down. He stared at his son and exhaled. So much for sane. That was when he noticed the peculiar markings on his son's neck. He looked closer and saw two simple bite marks... Leia... She was the one that did this to him. She had bitten him. Luke's own flesh and blood, his own flesh and blood, had done such a monstrous deed...
She's possessed...
The Jedi Master was at a loss for words like so many other times that night. But could you blame him? Such frightening revelations, such twists in his story. Leia was a Sith vampire and Luke was her first victim. No. What if there were others to fall, before Luke? How long had this been going on for?
"Oh Leia..." he began to stroke Luke's hair. Oh, how peaceful he looked in his eternal slumber. It just broke Anakin's heart. His gaze went to Luke's closed eyes. He didn't even get a last chance to stare into those bright, blue eyes, a reflection of his own.
And then Luke's eyes shot open.
Anakin had the biggest spaz-attack in the galaxy. His heart had almost come up through his mouth.
"L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-LU-LU-LU-LUKE!" Anakin's stuttering was completely out of control. He sounded like a boom-box. He leaned in to make sure he wasn't dreaming, and then he blinked a couple of times. Those blue eyes... so dark, and hollow... so... emotionless... so... bloodshot?
"Boo." Luke said showing off his new fangs.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Anakin screamed in a way that was a little too feminine for his liking. He fell back-- which just happened to be where the stairs were --.
THUNK! THUMP! -- "OW!" -- BING! BONG! BING! BING! CHANDLER BING! THUD! THUNK! "SWEET MOTHER OF--" THUMP!BANG! BONG! THUMP! THUD! "HOLY SI--" SLAM!
Anakin layed motionless at the bottom of the steps. His mechanical arm was bent in a rather uncomfortable way. There was a vicious bump on the top of his head that would take months to heal. Other than that, everything was pretty much cool.
The Will of the Force is VERY questionable...
"They told me that attachment was forbidden. Now I see what it leads to... uugh... pain in the-" Anakin mused, but he was interrupted.
CREAK!
He looked up at the peak of the stairs and saw Luke and Leia standing there like zombies. Both of their expressions appeared so heartless, and Anakin was so freaked out that not even the word 'metaphor' could emphasize it enough.
"Salutations Daddy..." They both replied in unity. Anakin raised an eyebrow.
Salutations? Who the heck still uses that word anymore?
Suddenly, he noticed the 'Twins of Doom' coming down the stairs towards him.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed in that feminine way again as he made his way to the kitchen. He ran in and grabbed the nearest pot. He turned to face the door, and as if right on cue, the twins walked in. They creeped towards him and it looked as if they were gliding. It was so graceful.
"Jeez, I know that thirteen's a difficult age, but this is ridiculous." Anakin stated. He saw how close they were getting, and the tension was rising. "Ok, guys if you come any closer, I'll have to ground you." Anakin thought about the last threat. "Well, you're kinda already grounded... Let's see... Leia, no more dating for you, and Luke... well... A-HA! No more sneaking into nightclubs! And don't you dare give me that look mister! I saw those fake-ID's! Oh, you guys are in for it... BWAHAHAHAHAHAhahahaha --I kid you not."
By now, Luke and Leia were already within a meter of Anakin. They revealed their sharp fangs like a pack of hungry wolves.
"I'm w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-warn-n-n-n-n-n-i-ing Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-YOU!" Anakin stuttered and shook the pot 'threateningly.' But the tides turned in favor of the twins. The pot that Anakin was holding suddenly dissolved away into atoms in his grasp. Anakin stared at the empty space in his hand in awe.
"Well, now I've seen everything..." he replied before he looked up and met Luke's eyes. "GYAH! How'd you get so close, son!" Then he looked at the fangs and went sheet-white.
"This won't hurt a bit..." Leia replied.
"PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDDMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEE!" Anakin yelled at the top of his lungs. He dove under Luke's arm and ran past Leia. He took a quick glance back and saw the twins following.
"YOU CAN'T RUN FOREVER DADDY!" Luke yelled.
"YES I CAN!" Anakin yelled back before flipping over the dinner table and into the living area. He found a nice little lamp, and decided to hide behind it.
Maybe I should tell them the truth about me... No. They're being possessed...
He hid for what seemed like hours when Luke and Leia finially came in. They paced back and forth past the tiny little lamp a million times but for some odd reason, they failed to see Anakin.
"I don't think they'll find me here. I'm such a genius!" Anakin laughed to himself.
Just then, completely out of the blue, Anakin heard a voice.
"I can't believe I ever died and left Obi-Wan to deal with you. Clearly, he's taught you nothing."
Anakin looked behind the sofa and saw Qui-Gon Jinn sitting there. Except he looked sort of transluscent.
"Actually, he taught me everything he knew." Anakin replied as-a-matter-of-factly. He completely ignored the fact that Qui-Gon was dead.
"Oh, well it's great to know that, considering how you turned out..." Qui-Gon scoffed.
"Yep!" Anakin beamed.
"Did you not catch my hint of sarcasm, or is that too complicated for you?"
"Oh... I see how it is..." Anakin moped. "You're just like everybody else Qui-Gon, so screw you!" He took the lamp and threw it at the strange apparition. It went right through him.
"WHAT THE-- how can you-- Oh my--" Anakin blinked and suddenly Qui-Gon was in his face, breathing. Yet, he felt no breath on his face...
"Hello Anakin."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"
"LOOK, LEIA! THERE HE IS!"
"After all this time... Man, he's a good hider..."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Anakin raced out the back door into the backyard. Morning was taking over the night by now, but there were gray clouds covering the entire sky. It looked like a storm was coming later on. Anakin ran into the garden. The entire pathway was filled with large, odd-shaped stones. It was obvious that they had been placed there on purpose so he'd trip. Well guess what? Anakin went and did a nice little flip as he tripped over a particularly large stone.
"The bacon had better be extra good today to even make up for half of this!" he looked up with a mouthful of dirt. A TOMBSTONE!
Padme failed to inform me that there are people actually BURIED our backyard...
A small gasp left Anakin's lips. He looked back and saw Qui-Gon's spirit in one of the windows. He was laughing--no, he was GUFFAWING at him. He actually had the nerve to guffaw at him! WELL THEN! With that said, Anakin stuck out his tongue in a very immature way.
The Chosen One attempted to get up from the ground but something was preventing him. He looked down at his legs and caught sight of huge thorns and vines that had sprouted from the ground. They were intertwined around his legs and it didn't look like he was going to be going anywhere for a long time.
Aw bantha poo-doo...
As if things couldn't get any worse, hands sprung up from the ground and grabbed Anakin's face.
"AUGH!--Mmf--PH!" Anakin's hands shot to his face in an attempt to stop his suffocation. He was being smothered. He squirmed around, and a few spikes from the thorns got into his shins and calves. After seconds of struggling, he figured the more of a fight he put up, the harder it got to win. But Anakin was in a SERIOUS state of delirium and he wanted out! He took a hold of one of the mysterious hands and bit it. The creature paused long enough for Anakin to take a good look at it. He had thought that whatever was attacking him was probably the zombie of whoever was buried here. He was actually O.K. with it considering everything that had happened before. Though what he saw was most unexpected.
"OBI-WAN!"
Padme SERIOUSLY failed to inform me that the body of my former master is buried in our backyard... and when did he die anyway?
It was Obi-Wan alright, but he was covered in dirt, and his eyes were pure white like an eggshell. He made odd groaning sounds.
"Are you constipated?" Anakin asked.
Obi-Wan's hands grasped him again, but this time around the neck. Yet another way to cut of someone's air supply. Anakin fought to save himself once more but stopped when he saw two figures approaching him. Fear struck him hard, like a bully to a nerd.
I REALLY don't need the twins on my case right now!
The grasp around his throat tightened and Anakin's life began to flash before his eyes...
I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die.--
The twins came and stopped in front of him. Anakin shut his eyes.
I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die---
If only he could've seen Padme one last time...
I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna d--
"HAPPY HALLOWEEN DADDY!"
Obi-Wan relesased his throat and Anakin opened his eyes. Confetti flew around them like the glitter in a snowglobe, and the fact that it was August left Anakin utterly confused.
"Padme, I want at least fourteen plates of bacon for breakfast..." he replied before passing out.
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A/N: Ok, didja' like it? HUH! I wanna know! Reviews are most welcome and encouraged. Flames are not. If you didn't like it, don't waste your time (and mine) by writing about how much my fic sucked. It'll come back to hAuNt you... Anyway, the next chapter will be up within the next couple of days. I'll try to update a few times a week.
May the Force be with you.
xoxoxo -- .Sweet-Krazy.03.