Heya peopolez! This is going to be the biggest piece of bull crap I've ever
written! I'm looking forward to it!!! I hope you like it, don't bother
telling me if you don't, other wise I just get really hacked off. So to the
people who go from the rating of 'remotely like' to 'this rocks!' Please,
R+R!!!
~*Storm*~
~*~*~
The Legend of Lezda : Spoof of Time
A long time ago. Before life began, before the world had porn.I mean had it's form, three silver idiots descended upon the chaotic (although It wasn't there yet so how could it be) land of Lowrule. They were Pin, the goddess of power, Hey you! The goddess of wisdom and Fat bore, the goddess of courage.
Pin, with her skinny arms, mutilated the land to create the earth. Hey you! Smeared some wisdom onto the earth to give the spirit of law to the world. Fat bore's rich soul fillet created life forms which would hopefully up hold the law although they really wanted to play snooker.
These three great idiots returned to the heavens, leaving behind the silver sacred Trihorse. Since then, the trihorse has become the basis for Lowrule's providence. Where the trihorse stood became the sacred racecourse.
In the vast, deep forest of Lowrule, the Great fuck-u tree served as the guardian spirit. The children of the forest, the eerie Cocks, lived with the great fuck-u tree (and went tree hugging every so often to the great pleasure of the fuck-u tree) Each eerie Cock has his or her own hairy, except one. His name was Pink. (Guess what HIS favorite color is *snigger*)
Early one morning, Pink was having a nightmare. It was the same nightmare he had every night. During a storm, Pink would find himself standing in front of a big and mysterious castle. A rider on horseback who looked scared out of her wits, carrying a gimp, would race by. The gimp would look at link as if to say something, but her false teeth fell out and she could speak. Then, another rider would appear. This big man clad in black would look down mencingly at Pink. Pink would then awaken.
~And this is where the spoof begins!!!~
"Pink! Hey, get up, Pink! The great fuck-u tree wants to talk to you!". Pink opened one eye and glared at the floating hairball.
"If he wants a shag, he ain't getting one!", the young boy snapped, before rolling over and covering his ear with a pillow. Gator (get it? Navi-gator? Navigator?.never mind) the hairy got really mad at this and started zooming up and down like a jack in the box with rabies.
"HE DOES NOT WANT A SHAG NOW GET UP!!!", she screeched. "Alright, alright I'm up!", said Pink, irritably.
"RIGHT! Follow my lead!!!", said the hairball proudly, not looking and crashing into a wall.
"Er, no thanks", Pink smirked, running outside.
"YAHOO! PINK!!", he heard a voice call up to him. He looked down to see his best friend, Sorry. Pink leapt down the ladder, sprained his ankle, and got up to face the green haired gimp. Gator flitted out of the door after reassembling herself.
"Oh my gawd!", said Sorry, Janice from friends style. "Is that a hairy? Oh my gawd! You finally got one.but that was so last second!!!", she said with a disturbing laugh.
Pink smiled amiably, made his excuses and darted of to the path leading to the great fuck-u tree. But there, in his way stood Fido playing guard dog. "Halt Zinc! Ha ha! I just cracked a joke!".
"Great fido, can I get past now?".
"What you gonna do?", said fido with a sneer. Pink stared in disgust at the dog food stuck between his teeth.
"The great fuck-u tree has summoned me! Why are you holding your arm like that?", Pink said proudly.
"It's dislocated so DON'T ask! Anyway, Is that so? Well, I don't see why he didn't ask me, because, as you know, I'm the best leg humper around. Well I won't let you pass without an eerie Cock sword, or a fuck-u shield!", said fido.
"Yo! Loser! You're the dog around here, go fetch!". Yelled gator, in a fit of rage.
"Go fetch? No, I only shag!", he said defiantly, giving an example on a near by tree root.
"I'll give you a bone?", said Gator. Within two seconds, a blur, and a strong breeze, Fido held out the two things needed, panting heavily.
"Now where's my bone?", he whined. Gator smacked him on the nose.
"Go get your own ya pussy!".
"PUSSY!? THAT IS AN INSULT!!! I AM A DOG!".
"Yeah.bitch!", yelled Pink, making a quick getaway. Pink slowly approached the great fuck-u tree after being attacked by three fuck-u babies the most feared plant in the forest.
"Ahh, Gator, thou hast returned!", said the fuck-u tree merrily. "And Pink, oh brave, sweet, jolly, cute, dinky, small.".
"What is your point?", Pink screamed, tapping his foot impatiently on the floor. The great Fuck-u tree looked stunned, but obliged.
"An evil man of the dessert (nope.that's not a typo, heh heh heh) has cast a curse on me, can you break it so I can go and die anyway, just to get you in trouble and make you leave?".
"No!".
"But you must receive the spiritual stone of the forest!".
"Don't want it, YOU SUCK!!", Pink pouted like a two year old. The fuck-u tree got very mad at this, and with one great gulp of air, sucked both Gator and Pink into the wide opening in his trunk.
"Whoa! Far out man! You DO suck!! Haha! Spit or swallow dude?", came Pink's muffled voice from inside. This made the great fuck-u tree even more angry and before he knew it, Pink found himself get swallowed down in a huge wave of tree sap, into a large pit of green water. He paddles to solid ground and stood up, looking around at the gloom.
"Well, that was easy! Look at all these chests that got washed up with it!!!". Pink exclaimed, pointing to a bunch of chests lying around, mostly on top of three unfortunate Fuck-u scrubbers. "Twenty three is number one.", one mumbled helplessly. Pink sniggered, as him and gator rushed around opening the chests.
"Ooh! Catapult!!!", Pink said happily playing with the elastic.
"Ooh! Dungeon map!", Pink said, unrolling the parchment and trying to figure out where he was. "Gato-o-or?". He suddenly whined.
"Ye-e-es?".
"Why is this room flashing Blu-u-ue?".
"Because that tells you where you a-a-are!", the hairy explained.
"And what's this skull?", Pink said, pointing vigorously at an evil looking skull on the map.
"That shows where the dungeon boss is!", Gator said.
"Oooh! It's through there!!", said Pink enthusiastically. Leaping up and pointing at a door. He didn't wait for the reply before running through. It was quite dark and a slightly green light filtered through the mist. "Its smells in here, can we go?", whinged Pink. Just then he looked up and saw a huge yellow eye look down at him.
"Umm..Gator?", he whispered. Gator immediately flew above the beast's head.
"This is queen GO-HOME! When it's eye goes red, attack it!!!". The hairy screeched.
"GO HOME!! GO HOME!!!!", the ugly beast roared at our hero.
"WELL I CAN'T! YOU'RE NOT LETTING ME!!!". Pink roared back. The monster thought for a second, it's eyes turned red with fury.
"Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now!", yelled Gator, as Pink started slashing up and down blindly at the disgusting spider type thing as it had a mild spasm fit on the floor.
"DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!", Pink shouted, doing his best impression of a Korean chef.
"TORCH IT!", Gator yelled. Pink got his lighter and put it to the foot of the great beast.
"Ooh! Pretty!", he announced as a blue flame engulfed the creature. A blue light then shone on the floor. Pink looked at it.
"Does my reward come through here?", he asked stupidly.
"Dunno let's wait and see!", said Gator.
~~Two hours and three coffee breaks later.~~
"I dunno..poke it with your foot?", offered gator. Pink poked with his foot, and before he knew it, he was being dragged towards the ceiling by his foot, through a current of blue magic. He hit the ceiling very hard three times.
"Whoops, sorry.wrong opening", said a mysterious voice, before Pink blacked out.
~*~*~
O_o;;; where the heck..did THAT come from..?? Okay I admit I sort of ran out of ideas at the end, but I haven't thought in much detail about Pink's childhood yet, so I hope ya like it. Please review, Thanx!!!
~*Storm*~
~*~*~
The Legend of Lezda : Spoof of Time
A long time ago. Before life began, before the world had porn.I mean had it's form, three silver idiots descended upon the chaotic (although It wasn't there yet so how could it be) land of Lowrule. They were Pin, the goddess of power, Hey you! The goddess of wisdom and Fat bore, the goddess of courage.
Pin, with her skinny arms, mutilated the land to create the earth. Hey you! Smeared some wisdom onto the earth to give the spirit of law to the world. Fat bore's rich soul fillet created life forms which would hopefully up hold the law although they really wanted to play snooker.
These three great idiots returned to the heavens, leaving behind the silver sacred Trihorse. Since then, the trihorse has become the basis for Lowrule's providence. Where the trihorse stood became the sacred racecourse.
In the vast, deep forest of Lowrule, the Great fuck-u tree served as the guardian spirit. The children of the forest, the eerie Cocks, lived with the great fuck-u tree (and went tree hugging every so often to the great pleasure of the fuck-u tree) Each eerie Cock has his or her own hairy, except one. His name was Pink. (Guess what HIS favorite color is *snigger*)
Early one morning, Pink was having a nightmare. It was the same nightmare he had every night. During a storm, Pink would find himself standing in front of a big and mysterious castle. A rider on horseback who looked scared out of her wits, carrying a gimp, would race by. The gimp would look at link as if to say something, but her false teeth fell out and she could speak. Then, another rider would appear. This big man clad in black would look down mencingly at Pink. Pink would then awaken.
~And this is where the spoof begins!!!~
"Pink! Hey, get up, Pink! The great fuck-u tree wants to talk to you!". Pink opened one eye and glared at the floating hairball.
"If he wants a shag, he ain't getting one!", the young boy snapped, before rolling over and covering his ear with a pillow. Gator (get it? Navi-gator? Navigator?.never mind) the hairy got really mad at this and started zooming up and down like a jack in the box with rabies.
"HE DOES NOT WANT A SHAG NOW GET UP!!!", she screeched. "Alright, alright I'm up!", said Pink, irritably.
"RIGHT! Follow my lead!!!", said the hairball proudly, not looking and crashing into a wall.
"Er, no thanks", Pink smirked, running outside.
"YAHOO! PINK!!", he heard a voice call up to him. He looked down to see his best friend, Sorry. Pink leapt down the ladder, sprained his ankle, and got up to face the green haired gimp. Gator flitted out of the door after reassembling herself.
"Oh my gawd!", said Sorry, Janice from friends style. "Is that a hairy? Oh my gawd! You finally got one.but that was so last second!!!", she said with a disturbing laugh.
Pink smiled amiably, made his excuses and darted of to the path leading to the great fuck-u tree. But there, in his way stood Fido playing guard dog. "Halt Zinc! Ha ha! I just cracked a joke!".
"Great fido, can I get past now?".
"What you gonna do?", said fido with a sneer. Pink stared in disgust at the dog food stuck between his teeth.
"The great fuck-u tree has summoned me! Why are you holding your arm like that?", Pink said proudly.
"It's dislocated so DON'T ask! Anyway, Is that so? Well, I don't see why he didn't ask me, because, as you know, I'm the best leg humper around. Well I won't let you pass without an eerie Cock sword, or a fuck-u shield!", said fido.
"Yo! Loser! You're the dog around here, go fetch!". Yelled gator, in a fit of rage.
"Go fetch? No, I only shag!", he said defiantly, giving an example on a near by tree root.
"I'll give you a bone?", said Gator. Within two seconds, a blur, and a strong breeze, Fido held out the two things needed, panting heavily.
"Now where's my bone?", he whined. Gator smacked him on the nose.
"Go get your own ya pussy!".
"PUSSY!? THAT IS AN INSULT!!! I AM A DOG!".
"Yeah.bitch!", yelled Pink, making a quick getaway. Pink slowly approached the great fuck-u tree after being attacked by three fuck-u babies the most feared plant in the forest.
"Ahh, Gator, thou hast returned!", said the fuck-u tree merrily. "And Pink, oh brave, sweet, jolly, cute, dinky, small.".
"What is your point?", Pink screamed, tapping his foot impatiently on the floor. The great Fuck-u tree looked stunned, but obliged.
"An evil man of the dessert (nope.that's not a typo, heh heh heh) has cast a curse on me, can you break it so I can go and die anyway, just to get you in trouble and make you leave?".
"No!".
"But you must receive the spiritual stone of the forest!".
"Don't want it, YOU SUCK!!", Pink pouted like a two year old. The fuck-u tree got very mad at this, and with one great gulp of air, sucked both Gator and Pink into the wide opening in his trunk.
"Whoa! Far out man! You DO suck!! Haha! Spit or swallow dude?", came Pink's muffled voice from inside. This made the great fuck-u tree even more angry and before he knew it, Pink found himself get swallowed down in a huge wave of tree sap, into a large pit of green water. He paddles to solid ground and stood up, looking around at the gloom.
"Well, that was easy! Look at all these chests that got washed up with it!!!". Pink exclaimed, pointing to a bunch of chests lying around, mostly on top of three unfortunate Fuck-u scrubbers. "Twenty three is number one.", one mumbled helplessly. Pink sniggered, as him and gator rushed around opening the chests.
"Ooh! Catapult!!!", Pink said happily playing with the elastic.
"Ooh! Dungeon map!", Pink said, unrolling the parchment and trying to figure out where he was. "Gato-o-or?". He suddenly whined.
"Ye-e-es?".
"Why is this room flashing Blu-u-ue?".
"Because that tells you where you a-a-are!", the hairy explained.
"And what's this skull?", Pink said, pointing vigorously at an evil looking skull on the map.
"That shows where the dungeon boss is!", Gator said.
"Oooh! It's through there!!", said Pink enthusiastically. Leaping up and pointing at a door. He didn't wait for the reply before running through. It was quite dark and a slightly green light filtered through the mist. "Its smells in here, can we go?", whinged Pink. Just then he looked up and saw a huge yellow eye look down at him.
"Umm..Gator?", he whispered. Gator immediately flew above the beast's head.
"This is queen GO-HOME! When it's eye goes red, attack it!!!". The hairy screeched.
"GO HOME!! GO HOME!!!!", the ugly beast roared at our hero.
"WELL I CAN'T! YOU'RE NOT LETTING ME!!!". Pink roared back. The monster thought for a second, it's eyes turned red with fury.
"Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now! Hit it now!", yelled Gator, as Pink started slashing up and down blindly at the disgusting spider type thing as it had a mild spasm fit on the floor.
"DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!", Pink shouted, doing his best impression of a Korean chef.
"TORCH IT!", Gator yelled. Pink got his lighter and put it to the foot of the great beast.
"Ooh! Pretty!", he announced as a blue flame engulfed the creature. A blue light then shone on the floor. Pink looked at it.
"Does my reward come through here?", he asked stupidly.
"Dunno let's wait and see!", said Gator.
~~Two hours and three coffee breaks later.~~
"I dunno..poke it with your foot?", offered gator. Pink poked with his foot, and before he knew it, he was being dragged towards the ceiling by his foot, through a current of blue magic. He hit the ceiling very hard three times.
"Whoops, sorry.wrong opening", said a mysterious voice, before Pink blacked out.
~*~*~
O_o;;; where the heck..did THAT come from..?? Okay I admit I sort of ran out of ideas at the end, but I haven't thought in much detail about Pink's childhood yet, so I hope ya like it. Please review, Thanx!!!