Style Wizard-chapter one: Snape's makeover
Host: Hello everyone! Welcome to style wizard! Where we take a frumpy witch or wizard and give them a stylish and functional makeover! I'm Marla Grey and I'm going to be your host today! –Flashes blinding smile-
The camera follows Marla to the Leaky Cauldron, where inside they find Snape sitting at a table with Hermione and Ginny, having coffee.
Snape: -don't know why you dragged me up here just for coffee…
Marla spots him immediately, and walks over to their table.
Marla: (chipper and Barbie-like) Hi, are you Severus Snape?
Snape: (cautiously) Yes…
Marla: Did you really think your friends here just brought you out for a drink?
Snape: No, I thought they were up to something
Marla: Well, you thought right! I'm Marla Grey from Style Wizard, and we're going to style you up!
Snape: Are you from those people who keep following me around?
Marla falters, unsure of what to say. She looks to the producer behind camera for guidance. He mouths something to her. Her eyes get wide and she mouths okay and gives him a thumbs up with a cheeky smile. The producer groans and put his head in his hands.
Marla: Well yes in fact we are. We've followed you around for a week to see your style choices. Take a look.
A crewmember wheels in a big TV. It shows Snape sweeping down a hallway at Hogwarts, wearing classic Snape attire. It then shows him in several other places, like walking down Diagon Alley, walking the Hogwarts grounds and coming out of the 'little wizard' room.
Snape: Hey!
Marla: So anyway, we're going to take you on a shopping trip to Fashion Row, to get you some style!
She throws her arms up in a mock cheer.
Snape: Did you used to be a cheerleader?
Marla: (pouty) So what if I was? Now on to the shopping!
They aparate to fashion row, the wizarding fashion district.
Marla: So first, we'll go into Abercrombie and Witch! (A/N: ha ha! Intentional pun!)
They step inside and Marla begins to search, fervently pulling shirts and pants off shelves and racks. Snape watches in detached amazement.
Marla: Now see, you're only 34, you don't have to dress like 54-year-old! So I'm picking you out some khakis, some button-ups, and definitely, some beaters.
Snape: Some what?
Marla: Wife beaters. They go with anything. Anyway, that should be good for this store.
Snape: You mean we're not done.
Marla: (frowning momentarily) Of course not, silly!
She tries to rumple his hair, but pulls hand away.
Marla: Which reminds me, after we get done shopping; we're going to get you hair done too!
Snape: (totally incredulous) WHAT???? MY HAIR????
Marla: Well of course!
She honks his nose. His face remains stony.
Snape: If you do that again you will regret it.
The day continues on in the same fashion, Marla grabbing clothes off price racks as if her life depended on it, and Snape remaining the picture of indifference. Finally they reach the hair salon, conveniently located in the middle of fashion row. They walk in the door and are greeted by JACIÁN, (pronounced /hah see AHN/, a cutting edge stylist.
Jacian: -looking at Snape's hair and frowning sadly- Eet maast all goe.
Snape: Excuse me, was that in English?
Jacian: Seet Pleese.
Snape is pushed back into a chair that resembles a dentists chair without the headrest. Something that resembles one of those grippy thingies in a tool chest holds his face in place. A crowd of stylists hovers around him, making recommendations. Jacian shoos them away.
Jacian: Leeve pleez! Leeve me to my woork!
He wheels Snape in his chair over to a sink. He prods it with his wand and it starts flowing. After wetting Snape's hair down, he pours vast amounts of a blue goop that smells vaguely of lilac on Snape's head. Snape protests, but Jacian stuffs a washcloth in his mouth as a gag and ties his hands down.
Jacian: Seet steel pleez.
He rubs it into Snape's hair, rinses, and begins to apply another paste-like substance, which briefly makes his hair stand on end.
Snape: -through the gag- agck! Feel- like-fire!!!
Jacian: Yees, eet wheel feel theet wey for a beet, baht theen eet wheel be vary cooled. –Snape begins to notice and yells- Yees, thier eet ees now.
Jacian beckons two pedicurists forward, and they reluctantly do his feet. Then two manicurists do his hands. Because, even though their clean, can you imagine the lasting effects of handling potions with bare hands? It would probably do something to nails! Anyway, Jacian finishes washing Snape's hair, and begins to cut it. By then, Snape is beyond caring. He simply stares straight ahead, thoroughly bored. When Jacian is done cutting it, he attacks it with a large blow dryer. After Jacian finished, Marla grabs Snape, shoves an outfit at him, and shoves him in the bathroom.
Marla: Okay Hermione and Ginny, you can come in now! –They come in the door- Lets see what Severus looks like after our work. –Calls to Snape in the bathroom- Are you done?
Snape: Almost! –zipping noise- Before I come out, I want to remind everyone that I have no idea what I look like, so I accept no responsibility for it! –He walks out-
Snape no longer looks like a terrifying potions master. He instead looks like a half-stylish pro-skateboarder. He has on a green plaid button up over a white beater, with baggy jeans and skate shoes. Now that his hair has been washed of its nasty 5-year grease build up, it proves to be dark brown. It is cut short in kind of a skater guy style. He is actually hot.
Hermione: -speechless-
Ginny: wow. That is amazing. It's like, a miracle!
Snape: Hey! Now I want to see! –Pushes his way to a mirror- Whoa.
Hermione: -recovers the ability of speech- you sounded like Bill and Ted's excellent adventure when you said that.
Snape: Huh?
Hermione: Never mind.
Marla: So we were able to take this frumpy guy and make him stylish! So watch next time and remember, stay stylish!
A/n: So, how does everyone like it? Tell me then!
Next time is Ron!
Cellie!