Um... slight spoilers for the end of the series, I guess... This is going by the anime, not the manga, but I like both... Sinkouhyou angst, implied Sinkouhyou x Dakki, POV, angst...
I am a clown.
So many times I've been told that. It seems... true. I know it is. The world below me is manipulated by the immortals, and I'm simply their clown, their tool to carry out their missions.
A clown.
I hate it.
I understand my role in the plans of the rest of the Immortal World. I know their schemes, I know what they do, but I can't change them. I can't change what they want, what they feel. So why should I bother to try, right? After all...
I'm just their little clown.
I hate it.
There's nothing I can do to change it. I accepted that. But he changed the plans, he changed history, he changed the whole Immortal World, where I couldn't.
Their new clown.
Their downfall.
What does he have that I don't? He... has passion. He didn't lose it. He didn't go along with what they said. He wanted something more out of this immortal life.
So weak.
So strong.
I smile, I laugh, I don't bother to let my other emotions show. Without those emotions, I can be their little clown and help them manipulate the worlds. After all, that's what they've trained me fore. That's why they made me into an immortal. To be their clown.
I am their clown.
I hate it.
I dress like a clown to see what will happen. I smile like a clown to see if anyone sees. I act like a clown to see if someone will notice.
No one sees.
No one cares.
Their little clown.
I hate him.
I'm stronger than he is. I'm more powerful. He was so weak the first time I met him, the first time we fought. I could've killed him with a single blast of my Paopei.
I didn't kill him.
I should've killed him.
I hate him.
Their little clown.
And then their puppet. How well we understood each other while she was on earth. Both manipulated to doing what they wanted. Both knowing we truly have no free will in this whole world. Clinging to each other in the face of this plan.
I loved her.
I hated her.
Their pretty doll.
Locked by the chains of simply being created by them, given no free will, I longed to free her. To set her loose on those who'd done us these injustices. I dreamed of watching her rise to power, overthrowing them, killing them, making them feel the helplessness we felt.
In the end, I helped their new clown.
He destroyed my doll.
She was beautiful. She was repulsive. I loved her. I hated her. We were each other's reflections. We couldn't break away from it.
Doll and clown.
Clown and doll.
I wanted to free her. I wanted to kill her. She wanted to reach me. She wanted to destroy me. We couldn't even give each other that.
My doll.
Broken doll.
Now she's free.
And I am still...
Their little clown.
I envy her.
My doll. My love. My hate.