The Last Night, a twilight fanfic

You come to me with scars on your wrists

I walked in the doors of the saloon, my intent to order a room so I could stay there until Peter and Charlotte showed up. I wanted to say goodbye one last time. I was wearing pants, shoes, and a tee-shirt because the scars were not easily seen by the humans. I sat patiently at the bar, waiting for the barman/room keeper to be able to service me. The room was dark and the general feel was gloomy, which suited my mood if not perfectly then well enough.

A very pale and beautiful woman came and sat down next to me. She moved with such grace and fluidity that I could've sworn she was a vampire. Only the color of her eyes told me different. They were a deep gold that lured me in. I broke eye contact, remembering that staring was rude. I nodded politely and turned my head to the other direction. That was my preferred way of dissuading any human affections, short of messing with their moods.

She reached over and gripped my wrist, turning it palm up to view my self inflicted scars. It was then I noticed she didn't smell like a human. It was the best scent in the world. Fresh and clean without the lure of the blood I loved yet hated so much. And her skin was so smooth, the same temperature as mine. No self respecting human could get their hands that cold without risking discomfort. She had to be a vampire, but what vampire was she to have eyes so gold?

You tell me this will be the last night
Feeling like this

"Hello, Jasper. My name is Alice." I stared at her in shock.

"How do you know my name?"

"You look like a Jasper is all." She said smiling. "Judging by the color of your eyes you are a devout vampire, are you not?" Her voice was so quiet I was sure the humans couldn't hear it.

"I suppose Miss," I whispered. "What about you, if you don't mind me asking. Everything about you screams VAMPIRE! Everything except your eyes. You have very beautiful eyes."

"Yes, they are different aren't they? What have you done to yourself? There's scars all over you."

"The Immortal Armies. Maria's to be exact. Something I hope you don't know about, miss. The majority of the scars come from fighting."

She ran her finger along my wrist, "These don't look like they were created by an army, or a fight. They're too straight."

"Those I did to myself. But this is the last night."

"Why?"

I just came to say goodbye
Didn't want you to see me cry
I'm fine

"I was part of an immortal army. I turned humans into vampires, I took their lives once their newborn strength wore off. I took their feelings away from them and gave them what I felt they could have at the time. That's my gift. I can mess with the feelings and emotions of vampires and humans. I kill humans to drink their blood, and I kill vampires, to keep myself alive. The worst part about it is I can feel their feelings, most of their last feelings are fear.

"Who am I to decide who gets to live and who gets to die anyway? I couldn't stand the constant killing, the constant fear. I began slicing my wrists. I hurt a lot, and made me feel horrible, which in turn made me feel better about what I had to do. For each death I could've yet couldn't prevent committing I gave myself a slice. It worked for a while." I started to dry sob. A grown vampire crying in front of a woman. It didn't look like it bothered her. She just stroked my wrist with her fingers. I got control over my emotions and finished my story.

"Finally I couldn't take it anymore I can't handle it. I came here to meet up with my friends Peter and Charlotte, tell them goodbye. Then I'm taking the short way out. There's no other way to pay my debts. I'm fine with it. I'm ready to go." Although in all reality, I'm not. What made me spill my guts to her, to trust her so much even though I was "raised" in a world without trust? What is she about? Why was she drawn to me, even though every scar on my body screamed "dangerous"? Even as I knew I wanted to find the answers to those questions I decided to keep my date with destiny. I owed it to the hundreds I killed.

But I know it's a lie

"You're lying. I don't see you killing yourself. Not anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"It's my gift to see the path a person's on. The path they follow until they make a change or a decision. For instance, when I first saw you tonight, I knew you were going to kill yourself. Now I don't see that happening."

"What do you see happening, if you don't mind me asking, Miss."

"My name's Alice, not 'Miss'. Please call me Alice."

"Of course Miss Alice."

"What era are you from?"

"Civil War."

"That explains it." She laughed, her voice ringing like a set of bells touched by angels.

This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere you want me to be
The last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm everything you need me to be

I looked down and saw my hand still resting in hers. I pulled it out. She didn't deserve to spend the rest of her existence with me. She was too good. I couldn't condemn her to that fate, living her existence with a monster. I decided to let her down gently but before I could even open my mouth she cut me off.

"Don't even think about it. I've spent a long time here waiting for you and now you're finally here. I don't want you to leave me. I'll follow you to the moon and back."

"I'm sorry I made you wait Miss Alice but you can't possibly want to be with a monster!"

"Why do you call yourself a monster?"

"I just am. It's what Maria made me."

Your parents say everything is your fault
But they don't know you like I know you
They don't know you at all

Don't believe it Jasper, it's not true. You are a very smart, intelligent, kind, and respectful 'young' man. From what I've seen of you and your previous lifestyle, and believe me I've seen a lot, it was a dog eat dog world out there. Kill or be killed, and quite frankly, I'm glad you weren't killed. As far as I can guess, you were stuck in a nasty situation, and you did what you had to do to survive. Nothing more, nothing less. You did what you could with the hand you were dealt, did you not?"

"I always did whatever it took to keep myself and my friends alive. That was always my priority."

"Then where's the monster in that?"

"I… don't know. It's just what Maria always said."

I'm so sick of when they say
"It's just a phase you'll be okay
You're fine"

"What do you mean? It's what she always said?"

"'You're such a monster Jasper. The way you can fight. The way you can keep yourself alive!' I soon began to realize she was right.

I went to her when I started feeling guilty for what I was doing, the lives I was ending. 'It's just a phase, Jasper. I went through it too. You'll get over it. Now get back to work' I never did get over it.

When I told her I was leaving her, she left me with some very choice words: 'You'll come crawling back to me Jasper. You won't be able to stay away from me, or the army.' I would if I got the courage to say goodbye to Peter and Charlotte, and then end it all."

But I know it's a lie

"Again, you're lying. You don't want to end it anymore than you want to go back to Maria. Haven't you wondered why my eyes were gold instead of red?"

"Actually yes, but I didn't think it was polite to ask outright."

"There's a whole other lifestyle out there Jasper. I've seen it. I live it. Vampires don't need to feed on humans to live. Animal blood, while not as tasty, works just as well. I've seen this family, that we can go to. They will accept us. There's five of them and they all live in what they call the 'vegetarian' style. They all drink from animals instead of humans. My eyes are gold because of the animal blood. It is possible to live your life without guilt. You just have to believe." She looked at me with a shining hope in her eyes. It was going to be hard but I couldn't let her stay with me, as damaged and troubled as I was. She should waste her time with someone who didn't feel as much regret as I do.

This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere you want me to be
The last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm everything you need me to be
The last night away from me

"Alice, you should go to them. They're not going to want a war hardened murderer in their ranks."

"War hardened murderer? Ha! No offence but if you were a war hardened murder you wouldn't be having these guilt issues. Face it, you're stuck with me whether you like it or not. I'm not leaving your side so deal with it!"

"I don't want to waste your existence! Find someone who's not a monster. Someone you deserve! Whoever you find it won't be me."

The night is so long when everything's wrong
If you give me your hand
I will help you hold on
Tonight, tonight

"Let me into your life, Jasper! Let me help you. Helping people makes me happy! Going Vegetarian is going to be hard. Take my hand, let me help you!"

"And what happens when I don't need help anymore?! Are you just not going to be happy anymore, or are you going to dump me for the next person that needs help?! 'Cause I'm telling you right now my heart won't be able to take it!"

"I am going to be happy for the rest of my existence if you will only allow our love to grow. Do you know what I had before I became a vampire, before my visions of you? I had nothing. You gave me something to fight for, something to love. I LOVED YOU WITH MY WHOLE HEART BEFORE YOU EVEN WALKED THROUGH THOSE DOORS! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ACCEPT THAT? I HAD NOTHING BEFORE YOU, DON'T TAKE YOURSELF AWAY FROM ME! DON'T MAKE ME BE ALONE ANYMORE!" She had progressed to actually yelling, and she was causing a scene. She started dry sobbing and I drew her into my arms. I could see it now. It would hurt us both too much if I were to leave now.

"Alice, I'm sorry I tried fighting it. I love you too. I will be you're everything. Whatever you want, whatever you need is yours. I'm not going to let you go. I'm not going to shove you away anymore. It'll be you and me together forever, I promise."

I won't let you say goodbye
And I'll be your reason why
The last night away from me
Away from me

"I know." She said, pulling herself away from me, controlling her. "I can see it more clearly than anything I've saw before."