A/N: I've always felt that blaming Kane for Jake's death was a bit unfair. He was an easy target but It was as much of Jaha's fault as everyone else's.
I've been wanting to write something since couple of days now, since I binge watched the show and have no episodes left. But, I find these two really difficult to write. Maybe because there's not enough of them on the show to get a real grasps of their character. I tried to write something short, just to get me started, to get used to write again, so please let me know what you think, even if you hate it ;)
Disclaimer: I wish, I did but I own nothing.
BLAME
The night Jake had been floated, you found yourself standing in front of her quarters with a bottle of moonshine safely tucked in your jacket pocket. You want to go to her, comfort her, but you know she'd never let you do the latter. You can hear her sobs through the closed door. She'll blame you for that, you know it. You wish you could've prevented it, stop the unstoppable. You wish you could've just lock him in the cell and keep him there. In solitary. He wouldn't be able tell anyone, he couldn't reveal the ugly truth. But you couldn't do that. You had orders and you had to follow them, there was nothing you could've done about it.
He was your best friend. One of a few people that knew you. The real you, not the person everyone feared and secretly hated. You feel like you failed. Failed him, failed her. There was nothing you could do to take her pain away, to take your pain. She'll blame you for that, even though you weren't the one giving the order, you did not sentence him to death, you just followed the order you've been given. But you will let her, because you know she needs someone to blame. If that person has to be you, let it be. You two may not be best friends, but you care for her. But you care for the human race too, you have to follow the rules that kept people on the Ark alive, so one day they could safely go back to earth. The rules were ruthless, but you had no choice. Jaha had no choice and people on the Ark had no choice. There was no place for sentiments.
You walk slowly to her door. She'll probably kick you out, you know it, she'll blame you forever even though you had no choice, Jaha had no choice, hell even she had no choice. But she trusted Jaha, she went to him hoping that he could save her husband, she prayed that he could save him. She knew the consequences, she knew the rules, she followed them too. But she'll blame you, you know that. She needs someone to blame and you will let her, because it was as much your fault as Jaha's. The only thing you can offer her at this moment is a moonshine bottle to drown her sorrows. You're thinking of doing that yourself. This, this was too much even for you. You wouldn't, you won't let anyone know but inside, you were devastated.
You step closer to her door, about to knock when you hear his voice. Your hand stops immediately, an inch from her door. Jaha's there. Of course he is, you think walking back to your quarters with a bottle to keep you company.