.One Last Time.
Kitty Pryde sat cross-legged on her bed. Beside her sat a pile of hard-bound books. She glared at them as if they were her enemies, trying to pluck up enough courage to do what she needed to do. She shook her head. What was she so afraid of anyway? She inhaled deeply, as if getting ready to dive, tucked a stray strand of hair out or her eyes, and picked up the first one. She slowly opened it and peered inside. Eyes stared back at her. Challenging her. A wave of memories flooded back.
"Hullo Keety! What are you doing?" someone behind her asked energetically.
Kitty jumped and slammed shut the book that she had just gotten the nerve to open. She spun around. And she saw a blue furry creature standing just behind her. "Nothing, Kurt! I'm not doing anything! Just sitting on my bed, you know…"
Kurt grinned. "Okay, Keety. Then what are all theze books doing here?" Kurt glanced around suspiciously, mocking her.
Kitty rolled her eyes and scooted over on her bed, wrinkling the pink top sheet. "Come on, Blue Boy. You can help me.", she said, hiding a smile.
"But…I thought zat you weren't doing anyzing." Kurt smiled, but bounded over anyways. Throwing himself on the bed, he then mimicked Kitty, sitting cross-legged and picking up a large book.
"Now…vut are we doing?" he asked, looking baffled.
Kitty sighed and opened the book again. "I'm going through some old yearbooks. That's all." She looked down at the page, familiar faces smiling up at her. Welcoming her back.
She shuddered, and turned to the next page. Noting the silence surrounding her, she looked up to Kurt. He just stared back at her, one eyebrow raised, tail curling over his shoulder.
"And may I ask vhy we are going through yearbooks?" he asked, still sounding extremely confused.
Kitty looked down at the open book. "I don't want these anymore. I have to get rid of them."
"Vhy?" he asked again, his eyes opening wide. "Izn't the point of yearbooks to keep them and alvays remember?".
Kitty's eyes darkened. "That's just it, Kurt. I don't want to remember anymore", she turned a few more pages and pointed to a small picture on the page. "My Eighth grade picture" she said sadly.
The person Kitty was pointing to looked too similar to the Kitty sitting next to Kurt. But Kitty now looked much more mature, and experienced about the world than the Kitty in the photograph. In the picture, her hair looked almost the same, but shorter. And silver hoop earrings peeked out from underneath the auburn bangs. She wore a pink shirt, and a shy smile. A smile that still had no idea about how much hatred the world could hold.
Kitty went back to what she was saying, still studying the picture. "I don't want to. Every time I look at these pictures, I want thing to go back to the way that they used to be. I want to go back to before I had discovered my powers. When I was just a middle school genius taking Junior level courses, and that was the only significant thing about me. When I was just a normal, everyday teenager. I want it so bad, it hurts. Not the physical kind, either. The pain in the heart, regretting kind. The kind that tells you even though you want it so dearly, it will never happen. It just brings back too many things. I just…can't".
Kitty ran her fingers over the glossy pages one more time, trying to feel the essence of normality sink into her fingers. She could almost hear herself laughing with her friends, once again. Almost feel the chalk dust grazing her cheeks as she clapped erasers. Almost smell the cookies that won her an award in Home Ec. It was too much for her. She gazed down at her naïve face. An innocent face that had no idea what horrors that the next couple of years would bring. Kitty slammed the book shut. The spine creaked with an air of finality, croaking its' ultimate goodbyes.
Kitty shook her head, and a tear grazed her cheek. "It's just so hard, Kurt." She wiped it away with her pink sleeve and looked to Kurt. "Just thinking what could've been, ya know?".
Kurt nodded, putting his fuzzy arm around her and pulling her close to give her a hug. "I know, Keety. It is very hard. I often wonder the same thing about myzelf. But ve have been Chozen. For some reason, ve have zhese powers. It is much better to think of zhem as a gift, not a curze. Even tough ve alvays have to live in the present; we can still visit the past. Don't throw zem away, Keety. You vill only feel sorry later."
Kurt gathered the books in his arms. "Vhere should I put zem?", he asked Kitty.
Wiping the last tear from her face, she got up off her bed and joined Kurt in the middle of the room. Glancing around for a second, she gestured for him to follow her. Kitty pulled a large metal box off of her bookcase, opened it, and set it down on the ground.
"I'll help", she told him as he tipped the large mound off books out of his arms. Together, in a group effort, they managed to arrange the books so that the box could close, and lifted the metal box back on to the book case. Kitty peered inside of the dark, cold container holding her past, Years of memories, love, and joy all mingled together. She glanced at the dust coated covers one last time before lifting the lid and closing it forever. She knew even though it was covered, the past would continue to haunt her. She didn't need pictures. Kitty clicked a lock onto it, turning the silver key. She stepped back to look at it. Twisting the key between her fingers.
"Okay?", Kurt holding out a hand to her.
Kitty glanced at the box, then back at Kurt. She made her decision. She weaved the key between her fingers one last time before opening a drawer in her desk and tossing it in. She took a fleeting look at the box, before taking his hand.
"Okay." She answered.