"I don't know, Rafi, maybe I should just stay home. I don't mind. I really..."

"Shush," Rafael responded, stepping closer to Sonny, as he reached up to his neck, straightening his tie. He looked directly into Sonny's eyes. "My mother will love you," he said firmly, smoothing the tie against Sonny's chest and holding his hands there, feeling his heart beat out of control.

"I'm nervous...I just..."

"I know. I know, mi amor."

Sonny sighed and tilted his head down, touching his forehead to Rafael's. He breathed in deeply to calm himself, and smelled Rafael's cologne. I can do this. I have to do this. He breathed out and looked up. "Ok. Now or never."

Rafael chuckled, stepping away and grabbing his keys as he headed towards the door. "She's not that scary."

They arrived at St. Francis at 11, and Sonny was already tired. He didn't know how he'd make it until past midnight. The church was already filling up with parishioners, and they spotted Lucia talking someone's ear off on the front steps.

"Mami," Barba called to his mother. Lucia turned around at the sound of his voice and saw Rafael and Sonny heading towards her. Suddenly Sonny was wide awake, and on high alert.

"Rafi!" Lucia Barba beamed. Rafael kissed her cheek and pulled her in for a close hug. Sonny smiled as he watched the two hug. He loved how close they were; he thought it was one of the sweetest qualities about Rafael. He admired them, and god, did he want to impress her.

Rafael broke the hug and turned to Sonny, smiling. "Mami, this is Sonny."

"Sonny. It is nice to meet finally meet you. I've heard a lot about you." Lucia shook his hand firmly, and looked directly into his eyes, speaking seriously. Sonny suddenly felt incredibly intimidated, like he was a teenager meeting his boyfriend's parents for the first time. Except he was in his mid-30's…meeting his boyfriend's mother for the first time. The more things change..., he thought.

"Mrs. Barba, it's great to meet you. Thanks for invitin' me tonight." Sonny smiled broadly, shaking her hand.

"Oh of course, any friend of Rafi's is a friend of mine," she smiled. "And call me Lucia."

Rafael inhaled sharply through his nose and pursed his lips-he had been out to his mom for years, years, and she'd met his boyfriends before. Why did it have to be such a big awkward moment each time? But he knew this was certainly not the time or place to have this conversation, so instead he placed his hand on the small of Lucia's back and said, "come on, let's go find a seat." As they walked towards an empty pew with Lucia leading the way, Rafael caught Sonny's gaze and rolled his eyes at him. Sonny smirked and patted Rafael's shoulder as they sat down, Rafael sitting between Lucia and Sonny.

The service began, familiar and comforting to Sonny. He always loved midnight mass, and he was happy to finally be meeting Lucia. Plus, he thought, that wasn't too bad. It's not like we'll be talking during the service. The hard part was over. Now I just have to stand up and sit down at the right times. I can handle that; I was an altar boy.

"The peace of the Lord be always with you."

"And also with you," the three of them murmured, standing up.

Rafael and Lucia turned to each other and hugged briefly, and Rafael kissed her on the cheek. "Peace be with you, Mami. I love you."

Sonny felt awkward for a moment, since he didn't know anyone, and he didn't know how long "peace" went on in this particular parish. Was it a hugging church? A handshake church? He turned to the woman seated to his right and reached out his hand to shake hers. "Peace be with you," he said and smiled. He turned back to Rafael, who pulled him in for a hug and whispered in his ear, "peace, mi amor. Merry Christmas. I love you." Sonny smiled. Rafael pulled away from the hug and passed in front of Sonny to cross the aisle to say hello to an older couple across from them. Sonny quickly realized this was a chatty parish, and he stood awkwardly for a moment, before he glanced to his left and Lucia was pulling him in for a close hug. She held on to him tightly.

Lucia spoke quietly in his ear. "You make my Rafi so happy. I haven't seen him like this in years," her voice broke. "Thank you. Merry Christmas, Sonny." She leaned back, her hands on Sonny's shoulders. They both had tears in their eyes. Sonny smiled and Lucia kissed him on the cheek, then reached up to wipe her lipstick off. Sonny sat down, a lump in his throat.

Lucia sat back down deliberately, and tried to turn her lips into a tight purse, back into stern Lucia Barba mode, quickly wiping a tear from her cheek. But she couldn't help but steal a glance at Sonny and winked as she caught his eye. He recognized the sly smile on her lips-she had clearly passed that on to Rafael, and Sonny had seen it more times than he could count.

Rafael returned back to his seat, and saw Sonny wiping his eye.

"Hey," he whispered, looking concerned, "are you ok?"

"Yeah," he sniffled. "Yeah, I'm fine," he smiled and busied himself with looking at the bulletin, so he wouldn't start crying right then and there.

The service continued, and towards the end, the lights were dimmed for Silent Night. They found themselves surrounded by just candle light, flickering and filling the church with soft, ethereal light. Sonny listened to Rafael's beautiful voice, and he hummed along quietly. Rafael reached over to take his hand, and gave it a light squeeze. Sonny felt warmth in his chest and a tear roll down his cheek. He felt loved and cared for, and at peace. This, he thought, is perfect.