I hate to hurt.
Hurt I,
-hurt others.
My mother
-suffers still,
-since I hurt her.
She hates to hurt too.
I love to hate, well as of lately it is all I do. It all started after an argument over something trivial, as usual. I had retreated to my room and slumped down on the bed. My room was small but it was my domain. A few CDs rested on the bench in the corner. Their neighbours included books, pencils, models, magazines, pens and a wooden doll (Which I'd deface and graffiti whenever I was bored). Then, next to that was my chest of drawers, which I obviously kept my cloths in. My life was like my room, a total mess. My family hated that. They were all strong believers in the faith and I promoted everything they hated in my actions.
My eyes grew heavy and I slept soundly. The room must have been dead silent, apart from my muffled snores and an occasional moan. I never remember much of what I dream except that they are vivid and twisted. Perhaps I'm just a sad case. I awoke suddenly with a mental image of a face I had never seen. It took a few seconds before I realised it was not a mental image at all. There, inches from mine, was a face of an unnaturally young girl. She stared at me with the same enthralment a scientist does with a new discovery. I was unable to move or speak, as if her gaze had me paralysed. The room was still perfectly dark but I could still see her luminous grin as she flashed her sharp canine teeth threateningly. I broke my frozen state and kicked her off the edge of the bed grabbing for the wooden doll. Her hand got there first my eyes scanned for another weapon. Scissors! Again she was too fast. I eventually acknowledged her as the victor of some unofficial challenge. She must have realised my submission and, in a horribly beautiful voice, spoke.
"Well, an energetic soul. What do you fear?" she began
"I fear I won't get to find out who or what you are." I responded, still brainstorming for another angle to strike her at.
"Your hatred is strong, you want to crush me." She continued.
"Give me a chance and a way and I will."
"How about I give you a task?
Now she had truly stumped me and it showed in my expression. She obviously saw this because she began to cackle. A horrible high pitch screech was a better explanation, yet it somehow failed to pierce the perfect silence. She stopped abruptly and I notice out the window there were others, all grinning with their bright menacing smiles.
"Free us?" she begun again, now in a lustrous voice, "Free us from these tethers? Only you can no one else."
What was this girl? She spoke as if we had been talking for hours and I knew what she was hinting.
"Who has you caught?" I replied "How can I help you?"
They all looked toward the ceiling; I looked too but couldn't see anything through the perfect darkness. Then they all replied. Their combined voice was dreadfully familiar.
"Her" They chanted. I realised they meant my mother in the room above me. "She holds us tethered"
"Then what must I do?" I asked without consideration. Then I feared what they may answer. "I will not harm her, if that is what you want!" The luminous girl had begun to speak solo once again.
"Just say you want us free. Mean it and we will disappear." She assured, almost tempted, me.
"Then I do, be free then. I untie you. GO!" I commanded. Their grins almost broke away from their faces they were so wide. Then, without blinking, they rushed towards me and disappeared entirely, but the perfect dark remained. With an agonised roar I was thrown against the wall and I felt as though my body was being ripped to shreds. My forehead burned as two ivory symbols of evil split through the skin. My heart began beating so fast it vibrated in my chest. Then the pain vanished and my pulse halted. My head was heavy from the new additions it held. The perfect dark lifted, like a burden was forgotten.
I looked towards the ceiling. Hate burned inside me like a passion. I leaped and destroyed myself a hole through to my mother's room. Perfect darkness returned, but I still saw her. She had woken and was waiting, sitting upright looking disappointed towards me. I noticed the absence of my father, only briefly, before turning my attention to her. Hatred burned me like ecstasy. I remembered all the times she had forced me into church, a building designed against me. Every time I had drawn a pentagram I was beaten. Even the times I was dictated to from pages of the bible, like spells to keep me seeled away. My hatred became my favourite weapon and my mother was the next target.
"Alas my son, you have failed me." My mother chimed, chorus like. "You have lost your wings and fallen apart. I have tried to reassemble you slowly and safely but you remained reluctant. Now you will suffer eternal."
"Suffer? But I feel great." I growled. "Better than I have been in centuries, and you have been guarding an armed time bomb, how do you feel? How do you feel about being on watch duty? How does it feel to fail?"
"I...You...I would have completed my task, it is you who have failed. Don't...you have no...Please..." she stuttered her sentence as her angelic eyes welled with tears, she turned to the ceiling and wailed. She spread her wings and stood to fly away. I rushed my head into her left wing and pierced it. "PLEASE HELP ME!" she screamed to no one. Brilliant pure light flooded and corrupted the perfect darkness and pulled my mother into it. She was gone, and so was the darkness.
I sat a while still blinded from the flash. She would bear that wound forever and it would always pain her. The house around me began to wither to its natural state. No more illusions, no more chains, no more perfect darkness. I was free at last to hate, we were all free.
I love to hate,
I hate to hurt.
I hurt to hate,
I hurt to love.