"Dammit Ellie, we really gonna do this?" Joel asked after letting out an elongated sigh, the type of sigh he only reserved for circumstances such as these. Though there wasn't a flake of snow to be found in Napa during February, it was still bitterly cold. Staying home and curling up on the couch while keeping warm, like they had been for weeks now, seemed much more enticing than going to some massive party at the biggest house in the compound.
Ellie rolled her eyes and huffed, her breath visible in the frigid, evening air as it burst from her lips. "Ohhhhhh my god Joel, come on," she groaned. "We've been hiding away like a couple of fucking hermits for a month now."
He snorted and shot her an irritated glance, feeling her hand tighten its grip around his as they neared the noisy and brightly lit house. They still traveled hand-in-hand everywhere they went; the old, protective habit embedded in them like concrete and never to die. "And? The hell's wrong with that? Ain't much different from Jackson an' I reckon it keeps us outta trouble," he said.
It was a valid question and point. Staying home kept them out of situations that had the potential to ignite his fiery, protective wrath. Which was something they both knew had the capability to end everything for them in Napa, much like it did in Jackson. Luckily, no one in town had yet been privy to him beating the shit out of someone for simply hurling some unflattering insult at his little girl. The two of them did become close friends with Lare and Kris. But they weren't sure how close; probably not close enough for them to understand his... obsessive need to protect that auburn-haired sprite to the point where his moral compass spun out of control and went haywire.
"Why're you all riled up to go to this damn thing anyway?" he asked with an arched eyebrow, genuinely curious.
Ellie heaved a frustrated sigh of her own. Because when the hell would this old Texan learn he couldn't say no to her?
"I dunno man!" she shouted before pausing and scrunching her face. "I mean, we gotta branch out at some point, right?" she softly asked in a voice that was obviously palpable with hesitation because she sure as hell knew he was right. Even if she didn't want to admit it. And she knew he noticed the tightening of her grip as they approached the house, its presence becoming bigger and louder after every step they took down the winding, dirt road through what used to be a vineyard.
Yeah, the place would be loud and noisy as fuck. And yeah, there'd be a crowd of people with their inquisitive, judgmental gazes and all, but she wasn't backing out now. After all, it took her a full thirty minutes of poking, prodding, whining, stamping of her feet and convincing, then another fifteen to practically drag his ass out of the house.
Although, it wasn't like he was lying to her. He wouldn't dare. He learned that fucking lesson long ago.
Napa had its differences from Jackson in many ways. But it was also the same in many others. Despite Kris and Lare's attempts to squash them, rumors about the two co-dependent souls were already spreading around the compound like wildfire. How they got there. Where they came from. Who they were. What they were.
Much like Jackson, they weren't perceived as separate entities, Joel and Ellie. They were JoelandEllie. They were one. And maybe that didn't make it any easier for everyone else to accept and understand them. But they sure didn't know any other way. She sure as hell didn't, and at this point neither did he. That wasn't really anything new and it never bothered them. Even if people, especially ones who had some knowledge and experience of life before the outbreak, never understood why - how - the two, mysterious beings never ever left each other's side.
Of course, him being an ornery, gruff, fifty-year-old man and her being an adorable, feisty, fifteen-year-old girl certainly didn't help things. Those rumors, the scuttlebutt around town, were what kept them inside and hidden away in their own little world. Oddly enough, those rumors were also what perpetuated their tied-at-the-hip state. Because much like the gossip did in Jackson, it made them feel alien, like outsiders and isolated. But they always found comfort in their attachment. Home wasn't necessarily just a place to reside or a bed to sleep in. Home was Joel; Ellie. Home was each other.
He looked towards the ground, made a face and rubbed his brow. "Fine," he spat with an annoyed tone, but not too annoyed, persistent little bugger.
Feeling victorious, she perked up and smiled as a light skip filled her gait. "Hah! See? I can get you to do anything," she playfully said with a bounce of the head.
He snorted at the blatantly true statement. Arrogant little brat. But she was his arrogant little brat and somehow that made her cocky and boastful ways rather endearing.
"Tssht, the hell ever. 'Sides, last week I wouldn't have been able to get you outta the house even if I told you we were headin' to a damn chocolate convention," he quipped.
She guffawed, because that did sound pretty fucking awesome, but her expression quickly shifted to a leer and she squeezed his hand a little tighter. "Well, I told you. I'm evolving, Joel," she said with a gradually renewing smile.
"Into a bigger pain in my ass," he replied with a smirk.
She wanted to punch him for that, but didn't because she thought that just maybe he would turn around and head back home. Instead, they exchanged tender looks, "I love you to death and don't ever forget it."
They were close to the house now. It was in clear view ahead, at the peak of the small hill before them. Voices, clanking of glasses, shouts, laughs and the muffled sound of music trickled into their ears.
It was odd. Aside from this brisk, February night, it was usually her who yearned to remain huddled away in their nest; the two of them always retreating into their shell - each other - for safety, like a couple of turtles, whenever anything went wrong. And since Joel's recent brush with death over a month ago during the Bandit raid, she clung to him like glue and he to her. Peeling one of them off of the other was like trying to rip off umpteen layers of duct tape; painful, and nearly impossible.
They approached a short set of steps that led up to the porch, then stopped before ascending. Despite the voices, laughter and music booming from within the house, Ellie overheard another agitated sigh leave Joel's lips.
She shot him a look. "Oh c'mon you ass. It won't be that bad. Try to have some fun, okay? For me?" she asked with a forming, delicate smile, trying to make herself all cute and innocent like. Which was never all that hard. Her tough-as-nails and unrefined exterior aside, she didn't have to give much effort on that front and she knew it. And he knew she knew it.
He couldn't keep down the lopsided smile that was forcing its way across his lips because dammit girl, you're too damn adorable for your own good. And if giving a sliver of effort at this damn party made her happy, he'd of course do it. So he caved.
"Yeah, alright, fine. For you sweet pea," he said, his smile widening.
Hers did as well and her whole body gave way to a light, happy bounce. "Awesome!"
"But I don't wanna stay too damn long kiddo, you hear?" he implored.
She rocked back, bit her lip, and pondered a length of time she figured he'd agree with. "Okay okay, alright, mmm... two hours max," she said.
"Sure," he replied. And maybe he gave-in a little too easily on that one, because of course she interpreted it as an invitation to squeeze out a bit more. "Three?" she cautiously but eagerly asked with another impish grin, stretching her small frame up and nearly standing on the balls of her feet as she leaned forward.
"Ellie..." he warned as he gave her a chiding glare.
She couldn't help but smile and almost broke into chuckles. Because that grave "warning" had become so familiar, it was more endearing than anything else. Endearing to both of them. At this point she simply understood it as some veiled and ironic motion of approval as opposed to a sign of caution that maybe she was pushing him just a bit too far.
Her smile widened and she simply batted her eyes at him, delicately shifting her feet and interlocking both hands behind her back, refusing to say a word since she knew he'd eventually break.
And he did. "Alright alright! Christ sake girl," he groaned with an eye roll, because if she were to make herself any cuter his head would probably explode.
"Fuck yeah!" she said with glee as another bounce rippled through her body. "We'll have fun, I promise. Plus, Lare said this guy - William or whatever - makes his own beer and shit, and you like beer, right?" she asked with a pair of big, glistening eyes that sparkled like the stars above. She'd never drank the stuff herself, but remembered Lare mentioning something about William and his home brew and that perhaps Joel would enjoy it.
He rubbed her small, dainty hand with a thumb and smiled. "Reckon I do indeed there missy. Now c'mon, let's do this," he said, albeit with a remaining hint of reluctance.
He wasn't sure what got into her or why she was so eager to finally socialize and break out of their shell. But given the look she was giving him, coupled with her previous statement, he thought that perhaps she was doing this for him, not her. Because all she wanted was for him to be happy too; the little redhead always so altruistic, especially when it came to him. That made him smile, and regardless, he loved seeing her like this. It silently told him that just maybe he was succeeding at raising her right. That she was happy. Who knew he still had it in him?
She held his hand even tighter, swinging his arm to-and-fro, then leaned into him as they made their way up the steps, as long as he's close, everything's okay. The laughter, shouting, undecipherable series of conversations and clanking of glasses echoed from within the home. The music was no longer muffled, but blaring, making her more nervous.
He of course noticed, feeling her pressing against him, and gave her a loving squeeze, we're okay, because he knew that's all she needed; him.
She smiled brightly, then happily sighed in content. There was no way in hell she was backing out, and now there really wasn't any reason to.
They reached the door and he raised a fist to knock, but paused and looked her in the eyes. Despite the angst in her gut, she was still beaming. "Ready to do this?" he asked with a small grin after taking a deep breath.
She took one of her own and nodded. "Yep, let's do this big guy."
He tapped his knuckles against the door and heard a voice yell from inside that someone else had arrived.
She took another deep breath and rubbed her thumb against his hand as they waited for someone, anyone, to open the door and greet them.
"Still?" he asked, half-hoping the moment's pause would've convinced her otherwise.
"Still," she replied.
Finally, the door swung open. The volume of the voices, shouting, laughing and music drastically increased, and a rather large man, around Joel's age, stood in the doorway. Within seconds of seeing them, the man's face gave way to a pleasantly surprised smile. "Hey! It's you two! Lare's told me all about you guys! I'm William! Welcome, welcome!" he shouted over the music. He certainly seemed happy to see them, which was more than they expected considering how difficult it'd been to fit in since arriving in Napa.
"Reckon it's a pleasure William," Joel said.
"Yeah, likewise," Ellie replied.
William pivoted to the side and pulled the door open even further, gesturing for them to come inside. "Please please, come in, come in!" he said.
Ellie and Joel nodded to each other and stepped inside. Right away their senses were overwhelmingly flooded with everything around them. It was loud, so loud, a chaotic heap of voices and music mashed together, making it difficult to clearly hear anything more than a foot away. Dozens of small groups were scattered about within the entryway, hallway and various rooms in the house, each of them laughing and talking about something completely unrelated to the next. It was pure sensory overload, but so far they seemed to be handling it well.
Within seconds of entering, a few people were already giving them glances, acknowledging their foreign presence. William gave one of the groups a leer in reaction, imploring them to behave and show some sense of courtesy.
Joel noticed, and leaned down close to Ellie's ear and spoke. "We're fine, we're okay. But I had no idea there were this many damn people in town - holy hell."
She was hardly paying attention. Nor did she notice the odd looks from the multitudes of strangers. She was entranced by the house itself.
It wasn't a mansion by any means, but it was much bigger than theirs, and for the most part looked to be in pristine condition. The entryway was rather large, which lead directly into a hallway that extended all the way to the rear of the house, where the kitchen and dining room sat, to the right and left respectively. The hardwood floor was quite clean, with very few scratches and dents, and a long, decorative rug that lay across it down the hallway, extending far to the end, appeared to be in impeccable condition as well.
Just to their left, adjacent to the entryway, was a small living room containing a few lounge chairs and tables. Artwork, undamaged artwork at that, hung from the off-white walls throughout the house, giving the entire place a classy, finished feel.
Despite the entire first floor being littered with intimidating, small cliques of people, she was already scanning everything around them in awe, mouth agape. The house certainly wasn't like anything she'd ever seen, and before Joel could even speak again she was already pulling away to bounce down the hallway in eager, childlike wonder.
As her fingertips slipped away from his, he made an attempt to reestablish his grip. "Ellie wait -" he said, only to be interrupted as she completely separated from him and darted forward. "The hell're you goin'?!" he yelled over the music.
"I'll be back! I'm gonna explore! Have fun!" she shouted over her shoulder with a smile as she happily trotted and bounded along.
He snorted and shook his head, feeling his gut churn at the thought of her disappearing somewhere in this giant house away from him. "Tssht - well alright then," he said as he gave William a shrug in an attempt to act aloof about the whole thing.
But William could already see the tension that seized his body when she hopped and skipped away. He patted him on the shoulder and gestured him to follow. "Here, c'mon, let's go get a drink. Follow me, Lare's hangin' out in here," he said.
Joel cleared his throat and nodded as he followed. "Alright."
They walked into the small living room adjacent to the entryway. It had beige carpet with light-brown colored walls and white crown molding lining the ceiling. A few lounge chairs and a sofa sat on the floor, along with a coffee table and sideboard, which rested up against the far wall.
Joel made a face and slowly nodded, as if he were giving the whole place a silent gesticulation of approval. Jesus, place is nice as hell. Looks like somethin' from before the outbreak.
The ten or so people packed in the room, one of which was Lare, all looked at Joel and acknowledged his arrival. Some of them shot him judgmental stares, others gave him a smile, others simply darted him glances and rolled their eyes. But he didn't let it bother him. He'd dealt with worse.
He raised a hand in peace and gave a friendly wave. "Evenin' everyone," he said, his Texas accent making him sound even that much more like an outsider.
No one but Lare responded. "Joel! Glad you showed up," he said as he approached them.
"Yeah, me too - was lookin' forward to it," Joel said, lying through his teeth. If only they knew it took a good forty-five minutes of Ellie dragging his ass out of the house while he practically kicked and screamed like a damn baby.
Funny thing, that was. He swore he'd never lie again. Well, at least to his little girl. And he never did. But as always, even the smallest and harmless of white-lies reminded him of what the two of them went through.
"Where's that girl of yours?" Lare asked.
William gave way to a light chuckle, but not an antagonizing one, more just a chuckle in reaction to remembering the small redhead's humorous state as she shot through his house like a lightning bolt to go exploring.
Joel smirked and snickered as well. "She's... I dunno, explorin' or somethin'. She's somewhere around here," he said.
Lare laughed. "Kids, too funny right?"
Joel snorted. "Yeah, she's..." he paused and felt a large smile stretch across his face as that image of her little, bubbly form prancing down the hallway with a gigantic grin, darted across his mind. "She's somethin' I'll tell you that," he finished.
Lare and William noticed the relaxing of Joel's posture and the dimpling of his cheeks, then gave each other a prideful look as if they'd just accomplished some sort of mission. "Here, here, come sit down and have a beer," Lare said over the music, motioning them over to two, nearby, unoccupied lounge chairs.
Joel obeyed and plopped himself down in one of them. His body sunk into it like dead-weight, because no matter how long he'd been off of the road and away from the cruel, outside world, he would never, ever rid himself of the perpetual exhaustion that seeped into his bones years ago. He took a deep breath and wiped a hand down his face, only to be immediately greeted by Lare holding a pint glass filled with beer.
Now that was a sight; his eyes slightly widening in shock. Liquor at least had the capability to last for years, even decades without spoiling, which was really the only alcohol he consumed in the post-outbreak era. But beer? That was rare.
He hadn't enjoyed a beer in forever and just the sight of it reminded him of watching football on Sundays with Tommy and Sarah. He internally snickered to himself, because maybe he was about to enjoy this beverage a bit more than he should, the carbonated drink forever making him feel a sliver of guilt. But he'd be damned if he didn't enjoy it, because after all, this was his little Ellie's idea in the first place and she'd want him to relish every drop. Girl knows what you want before you do old man.
"Thank you kindly," he said as he reached for it. He tipped the glass to his lips, but before taking a sip he shot William and Lare a look and small smile. "Cheers fellers," he said, as if his brain managed to dig up some social commonality that was standard before the world turned him into a hardened killer, a... survivor.
"Cheers to you Tex," Lare said with a wink as he took a sip from his glass.
Joel snorted at that, but did lightly chuckle, because at least he had a nickname. Maybe it meant he was beginning to fit in more than he thought.
He took his first sip, a sip that was clearly bigger than normal. "Jesus Christ," he declared through a light cough, clearly surprised by the quality. "You made this?" he asked with an expression of shock, but also one that made no attempt to hide how fucking amazing the beverage he held in his hand tasted.
Lare and William laughed. "Yessir, brewed it myself," William responded with a nod. "That's from a fresh keg too. Just tapped it today for this special occasion."
Joel took another large gulp, relishing the flavor once again and puckering his lips and exhaling in satisfaction after swallowing. A small, thin trail of foam lined his upper lip and mustache. "Well shit, reckon I'm impressed. I gotta say, well done," he said.
"See, I told you! Knew you'd like it," Lare exclaimed with pride.
William smiled, tipped his glass and nodded as if to say thank you, then took another sip for himself.
Joel raised his and inspected the body, color and everything about the beer. It had been years since he even saw the stuff, and right now it was like treasure, like gold. "Where in the hell do you have space to brew this up anyway?" he asked, his eyes not breaking from the amber liquid.
William shrugged. "Here, my house. I've got a pretty big basement too, which is rare in California. But I ferment everything down there since it's cold, dark... and you know, away from the heat and sunlight," he explained.
Joel made a face and nodded. "Well, gotta say I'm surprised. Taste's pretty damn good, ain't gonna lie," he said.
"Hey, someone's gotta give the folks around here a good time and something to look forward too," William said with a smirk.
Lare snorted and shot him a look. "Until you get us all drunk off our asses and we get raided dammit."
That word, raided, sent a shock through Joel's gut and he immediately thought of Ellie, his eyes mindlessly gazing into his glass as William's ensuing laughter became nothing but background noise. What if all of a sudden they did get raided? Right now? Where was she? Could he find her quick enough? Was she okay? Did she get herself into trouble? What if she got trapped somewhere and that's why she was taking so long and then he -
"Joel?" Lare asked, placing a hand on his shoulder.
He twitched from the contact as Lare's hand yanked him from his thoughts. "Yeah?" he asked with a grunt, annoyed that apparently he didn't hide his consternation over Ellie's absence well enough.
"You alright?"
He took another sip and nodded. "Yeah, reckon I'm just fine. Good music choice, by the way," he said, eager to shift topics.
William smiled and took another sip of his own. "Glad you like it. Wife's got a whole collection of C.D's from before the outbreak. It's great." He glanced over his shoulder and sighed. "Speaking of which, promised her I'd help out with something. Great to meet you Joel, enjoy the party, make yourself at home," he said as he rose to his feet and patted him on the back.
Joel simply nodded in response, then sighed and ran a hand through his hair, hope you're bein' smart an' not gettin' into trouble girl.
Lare, quick to keep him in the present, continued the conversation. "So how you two been? Feel at home yet?" he asked, though he knew it was sort of a ridiculous question since people in town weren't exactly welcoming the two, damaged, co-dependent beings with open arms.
Joel's face went tense, but he shrugged while taking another sip of beer. "Gettin' there I guess. It ain't been ahh... you know, all sunshine an' rainbows that's for sure," he replied, giving a nod towards the loud group nearby.
Lare sighed as well and rubbed his brow before setting his glass down on the adjacent end-table. "Been meaning to talk to you about that," he said.
Joel simply rose an eyebrow and gave him a curious look.
"Mmhmm. Look, I know it hasn't been easy for you two, especially given your..." he paused and scrunched his face, searching for words that wouldn't come across as hurtful.
"Our what?" Joel tersely spat, assuming the man was about to make some comment about Ellie and himself, as if their... situation was wrong.
Lare took a deep breath, his eyes wilting and giving an empathetic look. "Just, your past and all the shit you two have been through. I'm sorry it's been hard. Really, both Kris and I are."
Joel relaxed a bit at that, because at least Lare and his wife, Kris, seemed to understand, albeit barely, how fucking attached he was to his little girl; and her to him. "Ain't your fault," he responded.
And it was true, but a part of him felt lucky that even though they had only two friends in the whole compound, Lare and Kris, at least those friends happened to be the leaders of the damn place. Much like in Jackson, they at least had that going for them, and it gave him a bit more relief to know that the two people who ran the whole show had their backs to some extent.
Besides, they treated Ellie with the utmost respect and kindness, to the point that she even began considering them as friends. And that... that alone was the most important thing, and it gave him reason to feel secure, even if only slightly.
Lare scooted his chair closer and leaned forward, resting both elbows on his knees. "Kris and I... we've tried to get people to shut the hell up and stop telling stories about shit they got no business talking about," he said, the volume of his voice lowering.
Joel's face went solemn, and his throat clenched because Lare just confirmed what he'd been suspecting for awhile. People were talking. Though that wasn't anything new. He knew that, but it only meant guaranteeing his little girl's happiness would be more difficult if people were spreading rumors about him, about her, before they'd even met.
He took a long, deep breath then looked Lare in the eyes. "Well, thanks, appreciate it," he simply grunted with a shrug.
What the fuck else was he supposed to say? It wasn't like he could go around to every person at the party and introduce himself then explain why the hell he had this strange, adorable, auburn-haired, fifteen-year-old girl, who clearly wasn't his own, attached to him - sometimes literally - at all times. And oh, by the way, did you know we share the same bed at night? And that when we sleep she's tangled up with me and nuzzled into the crook of my neck like I'm a damn teddy bear? Oh and not to mention, did you also know that when she takes a bath she wants me right by the tub at all times, so I go ahead and plop my old ass down next to it and fold laundry while she's all wet and naked-like, splashing and giggling about?
People. Wouldn't. Understand, fuckin' hell I can already feel their goddamn judgmental stares. But how could they? They'd never developed a bond, forged through hell fire and the cruelest of circumstances, with another human being.
Plus, that poor girl sure didn't know any better. She didn't have a fucking clue as to what was or wasn't appropriate and taboo back in his time. All she knew was... him. Really, that was it, him. Because after being abandoned countless times, constantly being let down by others and enduring a painful, malnourished, difficult, fourteen years, she finally found someone who actually cared and... loved her for the first time ever. She found someone who she could actually be vulnerable around.
He never abandoned her. He became her support system; a home to retreat to whenever things went awry or really whenever she desired. He was her anchor and never left, staying at her side through thick and thin, including through the gargantuan bump-in-the-road that was Salt Lake City. Even during her darkest moments he took care of her, like when he found her in that blazing restaurant a year ago. And he'd never forget that... look she gave him as he gently held her face, just before he held her for the first time, when he watched those poor, pained, green eyes wilt as her whole self whimpered and practically... broke down, giving into his protective care and arms because she so desperately needed - wanted - it.
He was, really, the only thing she did know. He was her home. He was her whole world. He was her whole universe. He was her... everything. And she knows I'd walk to the end of the earth an' back for her.
An awkward moment of silence between the two men passed. He tapped his fingers against his glass to the beat of the music and held eye contact with Lare, waiting for the man to reignite their conversation.
"We've been trying, honestly," Lare finally said before sighing again. "But people just have trouble accepting things they don't understand."
"We ain't askin' 'em too," Joel retorted with a glare, the words spitting from his tongue like a lizard snatching a bug out of the air.
Lare flinched and uncomfortably shifted his posture in reaction to the sharp, terse response. He took a deep breath and ran a hand through his graying hair. "I... I know. But we want you to feel at home here. And whether you two wanna admit it or not, you are good people," he said.
Joel snorted. "Tssht - she sure is." Because she was. She was as good and pure as rain, no matter how many lives they took; all in the name of survival. "But I reckon you just don't know my sorry ass well enough yet," he replied before gulping down the final sips of beer remaining in his glass.
Lare snickered and gently patted him on the shoulder. "You're too hard on yourself. You should see the way her face lights up when she talks about you. You're raising her right and doing a good job, trust me."
That made him smile. At least he was doing that right. Doing exactly what he felt like he existed for, his purpose. But she'd been gone for awhile now and his stomach started to churn, and he worried that she got into trouble somehow and needed him.
Then right on cue, she galloped into the room and hopped up onto his lap; big, bright-eyed smile and all. "Hi!" she said, looking into his eyes as she wrapped both arms around his neck.
Lare laughed at the sight. "Speak of the Devil."
She guffawed and shot Lare a glance, then looked back at Joel as she squinted. "Oh what's this? Been talking about me now huh?" she said, her voice coming out light and playful as ever. She sounded happy. And he loved that.
He smiled back and dug his nose into her hair, taking in her scent as he gave her a light kiss to the side of her head. "Where'd you run off too?" he softly asked as he wrapped both arms around her, his voice muffled against her temple. His whole posture seemed to relax; the gruff, old man so clearly happy to have his baby girl back in his protective arms.
She shrugged in his embrace. "Exploring. This place is huge and fucking awesome dude!" she exclaimed, wiggling and adjusting herself in his lap and arms to her liking.
Lare laughed again and rose to his feet. "Alright, well I think Kris is probably looking for me. Enjoy the party you two and feel free to have more of that beer, Joel. I'm sure William wants it all gone by the end of the night," he said before leaving.
Joel let loose a humored snort and interlocked his fingers across Ellie's back as he held her.
She smiled. So wide the whites of her teeth showed. "You tried some? Did you like it!?" she asked with glee, her eyes begging and hoping that he enjoyed it as much as she envisioned he would.
"Reckon I did indeed. Was damn good missy, ain't gonna lie," he replied. A smile of his own stretched across his lips at the sight of hers. Because part of him knew she was grinning like a fool not due to how much he admitted enjoying the beer, but due to feeling his arms protectively encasing her little frame.
"Hah! I knew it!" she drawled, declaring victory once again.
"Yeah yeah, my little Ellie-bug's right again," he said with an eye roll.
In the corner of her eye she caught a few people in the nearby crowd staring at them, giving them a few judgmental looks and disapproving glares. She pulled herself closer against him, but her smile waned and she leered at the strangers, holding eye contact and staring them down until they finally turned away. "Yeah, that's right. Take a fucking picture next time. It'll last longer," she spat, anger palpable in her voice.
It was a stark contrast to how she sounded minutes ago.
Joel's face went red with embarrassment. "Ellie! C'mon now, be nice kiddo," he said, rubbing her back in the process.
She titled her head and looked up at him. "What!? I don't like it when they look at you like that. They're fucking jerks and can go to hell for all I care," she stammered.
He snickered, tickled at the thought of her being protective of him like he was of her, then kissed her hair, just above her forehead. "I know, but don't let it bother you. It's only gonna stress you the hell out if you dwell on it," he said.
She sighed and began fiddling with the collar of his flannel shirt. "Yeah, I know. You're right. But still... I don't like it."
The music quieted before starting up again and playing the next track.
"Ah-hah. You remember this band?" he asked.
She tapped her chin with a finger, tilted her head and gazed upwards, sifting through her memories. "Hmm..."
"Oh c'mon now, you don't remember this?" he asked tauntingly.
"Is it... is it what we listened to in that fucking casino in Reno?" she asked with a curious expression.
He snickered and ran a hand through her hair, pushing aside that pesky bang that always dangled down the right side of her face. "It sure is, good memory," he said.
She gave way to a light, pride-filled wiggle in his arms. "Damn I'm good," she said with a smile.
"Mmhm," he replied, because she was good. She was the best. She was the best thing to happen to him since Sarah.
"Hey, I gotta take a leak real quick, be right back," she said while hopping off of his lap.
He chuckled at the little girl's blunt delivery of the statement, mostly because he knew she picked up on the casual vernacular from himself. "Alright, I'll be here," he replied with a sigh, knowing he really wasn't going to move.
She happily trotted down the hallway with a smile across her face, since she figured they were actually having a good time and maybe people were accepting them quicker than they expected. Aside from the few, piercing stares they received earlier. But she brushed them off, like he said, and tried not to dwell on it. After using the bathroom and doing her business, she walked out and weaved through the crowd. Two boys, around her age, caught her eye. They were whispering and mumbling something at a strange door that stood at the far end of the hallway, underneath the staircase that led to the second floor.
The fuck's so interesting about a stupid door?
She approached them, standing tall with confidence and introduced herself with a small smile. "Hey guys, I'm uhh... I'm Ellie," she said, pleased with herself that somehow her self-assured introduction seamlessly rolled across her tongue. A month ago, just that would've been difficult.
The two boys immediately stopped what they were doing and looked at her, then gave each other a sideways smirk and glance. "That's her, right Ethan?" one of them asked.
Ethan snorted. "Yeah, that's her alright."
Ellie, taken aback by their cold, stand-offish tone, crossed both arms and rocked her weight back. "Uhh... excuse me?" she said, irritation audible in the question.
"Oh, nothing, Jeremiah here has only heard of you, never actually seen you," Ethan responded.
Ellie's eyes squinted a little in confusion as she made a face. "Okay..." she slowly drawled.
"I've heard he does things to her," Jeremiah said.
Her eyes widened and she flinched, her whole body practically jolting backwards.
"Yeah I heard that too," Ethan concurred with an antagonizing laugh. "I heard he makes her do shit I've only seen in magazines," the boy continued. The two of them then snickered like a couple of hyenas at his quip.
Ellie tilted her head and guffawed, feeling utterly perplexed. She paused, adjusted her posture until she was rigid as a statue, then furrowed her brow and stared them down. "What the fuck are you talking about?" she said, seething hatred and anger filling her to the brim.
Jeremiah, hardly able to speak through his wheezing laughter, collected himself and cleared his throat. "That angry old fuck you're always with, he does things to you right? We heard he ties you up and touches you all over."
"Yeah he totally does! Doesn't he!?" Ethan shouted with a forced, exaggerated expression of feigned surprise. "It's okay girl, you... you can come touch me where he touches you if you wanna show me, I... I won't bite," he continued through another series of laughs.
And just like that, her heart sank. Right when she thought that maybe they were being accepted and welcomed into their new world, these fuck heads went ahead and put it to rest.
Her heart began to race because the amount of rage and unbridled fury that was coursing through her veins had her on the verge of exploding. If this were Jackson, or anywhere else for that matter, she'd knock their fucking teeth out right then and there. Yeah, I could take you, piece of shit. Because how dare they talk about him like that. She knew bad men. She knew evil. She knew monsters. Joel was none of those, far from it.
He was a good, good man and loved every fiber of her being, almost to a fault. He would never, ever hurt her in any possible way imaginable. And fuck did she know that, and hearing these two idiots treat him like trash twisted her insides into a knot.
Her whole frame vibrated in anger, her jaw setting as she stared them down with an inferno like blaze in her eyes. Her brow furrowed even more, the wrinkles on her forehead more pronounced than before, and she couldn't decide whether to gut them with her switchblade then hang them by their entrails, or simply beat the shit out of them and let them live so they would know they just had their asses kicked to last week by a fucking little girl.
But this place, this town, was their second chance at a normal life, don't ruin that, Ellie. So she did neither.
Instead, she took a slow, long, deep breath to collect herself, then darted both eyes towards the mysterious door that the two boys seemed overly wary about.
"What's down there?" she sternly asked, giving it a nod.
Ethan and Jeremiah slowly turned their heads to look at each other, surprised they hadn't evoked some sort of violent reaction from her, then lightly snickered again. "Uhh... the basement? Why? You wanna go down there? Remind you of where he keeps you locked up?" Ethan replied.
She gritted her teeth and scrunched her face while her cheeks flushed with a shade of red so dark she was sure Joel would flip his lid if he saw them.
"I think we pissed her off," Jeremiah said with a smirk.
"Yeah, it'll be fine though, once she goes down there and is reminded of that old fuck grabbing her by the - "
"Shut the fuck up!" Ellie shouted through her seething rage. She stormed forward, practically slamming her feet against the floor as she did so, and stared Ethan right in the eyes. The look she gave him seemed to send a shiver down his spine and the boy gulped, because part of him actually worried this redhead might kill him if he continued. But there was no way he wanted to let it show.
"Why don't we go down in that basement right fucking now and settle this, yeah?" she implored, eager to smack this fucker's ass into oblivion. And she knew she could. Hell, for Joel, she'd make sure it happened.
"No way man, I ain't going down there, fuck that," he said, shooting Jeremiah a smirk.
"Why not? You scared?" Ellie spat as she crossed both arms once more and gave him a leer. "Now c'mon, let's go so I can kick your ass and get back to this party," she demanded.
Ethan reached over and tapped his fingers on the doorknob. "It's spooky as hell down there. All I know is that's where my dad keeps his barrels and kegs, but I've heard shit in the middle of the night. Think it's haunted, right Jeremiah?" he said in a leading tone.
Jeremiah smirked and cleared his throat. "Uhh yeah... totally," he responded, sensing his friend making an attempt to take advantage of the girl's overzealous nature; conniving little shits they were.
Ellie unhitched a loud snort. "That's stupid." She huffed then readjusted her ponytail. "But fine, whatever, I'll go down there by myself and show you two fuckers there isn't shit. And when I come back up in five minutes..." she paused and took another step towards Ethan, planting a small, pointed finger against his chest. "You better shut up because you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. You don't know shit. And you stay the fuck away from him and me, got it?" she said. Her eyes were wide with anger and her bangs quivered a bit from the constant, rage-induced shaking that gripped her body.
"Ten minutes," Ethan spat.
"Fine! Make it fifteen for all I care," she said as she swung open the door to the basement.
She took one step down the creaky, old, wooden staircase and peered forward. It was dark, almost pitch black, but a sliver of moonlight shined through one of the ground level windows in the basement below, giving her just enough light to navigate.
Ethan slammed the door shut behind her. "See you in fifteen whore!" he yelled from the other side.
She snorted at that word, clenching her fists in utter hatred until her knuckles cracked. "Pssht - stupid motherfuckers," she spat.
Just before walking away, Ethan pulled out a key from his pocket and quietly locked the door. "Wait, what the fuck dude? You're gonna lock her in there!?" Jeremiah frantically asked through a whisper.
Ethan shrugged and made a callous face. "Why not? Found my Dad's key, I'll unlock it when I feel like it," he replied.
"Al... alright," Jeremiah said, albeit hesitantly, before the two of them quickly scampered off upstairs.
Meanwhile, Ellie reached the basement floor, only barely able to make out everything around her. It was dark, cold and felt damp. Barrels and kegs, just like Ethan said, were scattered all across the floor with just enough space to weave through. Piles and mounds of junk, stacked all the way to the ceiling, lined the dark, stone walls. The place had a musky scent to it, some combination of fermenting beer, mildew and dirt. It certainly wasn't the least bit pleasant, and she rose a sleeve of her purple and black, plaid hoodie to her nose; the freckled little thing crinkling from the foul odor. Oh man, this place fucking reeks - holy shit.
She made her way to the center of the floor and dropped both arms to her waist, glancing around the room as she heaved a sigh. "Way to go guys, just like I said, there's nothing but boring shit down here."
A shadow, from the shrubbery blowing in the wind outside, danced across the wall in the faint moonlight shining through the narrow ground-level window. She shyly smiled and chuckled at the sight. Hah, cool. I guess aside from the fucking stench, this place isn't that bad actually. Kinda nice and... quiet. It was quiet, much quieter than upstairs, but along with her breaths, she was still able to hear the sound of muffled music from above.
She sighed again and swung her arms to-and-fro out of boredom and for lack of anything better to do, guess I might as well make the best of this. "See what you can find Ellie," she said under her breath.
Oh no... Joel. He's gonna wonder where I went. I won't be much longer, it'll be okay.
She began rummaging around, sifting through piles of junk with unabated curiosity, trying to find anything of interest. Each time, though, she came up empty handed, never finding anything that would deem this whole thing worthy of her time. After going through the last pile, she huffed in annoyance and blew a raspberry. "Man, nothing but pointless shit down here," she said to herself, hearing a series of muffled laughs and shouts from the floor above.
Then, all of a sudden, something in the corner of the room, hung up on the wall, caught her eye. She slowly approached it, swallowing hard as her eyes widened in fear, her pupils dilating to the size of the moon outside.
It was a large, stuffed buck head. Its antlers nearly reached all the way to the ceiling it was so big. Its giant, black, lifeless eyes pierced through to her soul and she shrunk. The walls around her seemed to collapse. It were as if the buck head grew larger and larger while she dwindled away, getting smaller and smaller and feeling like a tiny, helpless ant cowering before the animal. Panic seeped into her veins and her lips trembled as an eerie chill slithered down her spine... winter.
Adrenaline pumped into her bloodstream. Her heart started to race and her breathing intensified to the point she was hyperventilating. Goosebumps rose across her skin and every hair on her body stood on end. She gulped, then let out a muffled, quiet and pained, little whimper.
It was the buck. The winter. The cold. The fear of losing Joel, her purpose. The cage. The hunt for her. The monster... David.
"Oh god oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck," she quickly spat under her rapid breaths as she blindly stepped backwards, still entranced by the buck head. Memories, horrible memories, one after the other, darted through her mind; the images sending sharp, lashes of pain through her psyche. While backpedaling away, she nearly tripped, knocking into a fermentation barrel, but scrambled to steady herself against it to prevent from falling to the ground.
She opened her mouth to scream, to scream for Joel, but for some reason couldn't. Her tongue seemed to tie itself into a knot and she couldn't get enough oxygen despite her hyperventilating state. Her chest violently expanded with such force it hurt and before she knew it she was scrambling, clambering and climbing over everything in a desperate attempt to reach the creaky wooden stairs to escape...
Run little rabbit, run...
In the dark, unable to clearly see, something caught her foot and she tumbled to the ground. "Augh - ungh - fuck," she whimpered with a wince. Then, somehow, it felt as if the ambient temperature plummeted.
It was him. She knew it. He was here, somehow, and the skin on the back of her neck tingled in terror as a clammy and nervous sweat seeped through her pores. It had to be him. She swore he was here. She swore his voice was reverberating in the basement, constricting around her...
That was good kid, everything's gonna be alright...
She peeped a nervous and scared little squeak and awkwardly shot to her feet as fast as she could, because she had to run she had to get out she had to keep moving and make it up the stairs because fuck if he found her and got his dirty horrible hands on her he'd choke the life out of her and she'd suffocate and die or be thrown in a cage and tormented like a helpless animal only to be chopped into tiny pieces never to see Joel again and oh god where the fuck was Joel because she needed him right now so badly it hurt but she couldn't get to the stairs fast enough because what if the monster grabbed her and did even worse things like -
You can try beggin'...
"Oh fuck!" she cried out. She squealed in a panic; she rarely squealed, the heartbreaking sound escaping her small, tough-as-nails self only during her most frightened moments. Tears started to well at the base of her eyes and in a flash she bolted for the stairs.
But... she could already feel his filthy hands tightening around her neck and strangling the life out of her, with his disgusting body pinning her down and those fiery eyes gazing into her soul ready to reap it away and shit shit shit fuck fuck fuck this is the end because he was always the end and she couldn't get away since every shadow that moved or twitched in the moonlight was him coming for her and she was surrounded and being crushed while painfully yearning to feel the arms and hear the voice of the one thing that could save her...
Joel.
Her whole body shuddered. She burst into tears and uncorked a wailing sob.
"Oh fuck! Joel help please!" she screamed while frantically running up the stairs, her shins slamming into the edges of the steps as she tripped and clambered her way up. But no amount of physical pain could stop her. Nothing else mattered but the thought of returning to safety, to home; Joel.
She finally reached the top and lunged for the knob, ready to swing the door open with such force the thing would probably fly off of its hinges. But nothing happened. Her eyes widened even more and she gulped in terror then vigorously shook the door in a feeble attempt to open it. It rattled and banged, the loud sounds echoing in the stairwell and masking the music from the party.
"Oh no no no what the fuck what the fuck!? C'mon c'mon c'mon!" she shouted in a panic, realizing she was locked inside. A massive wave of nausea hit her like a ton of bricks and her stomach churned to the point she wanted to vomit. She was trapped. With him.
She swore his voice was now rippling up the stairs from the bottom, behind her. He was ascending, approaching her, and she knew it. She could feel his sickening, deathly presence inching closer and closer as the skin on the back of her neck tingled in the frigid air.
How'd you put it? Hmm? Tiny pieces...
A massive lump formed in her throat and her whole, tiny body began quivering in terror; the petite girl practically vibrating and shaking so hard she thought she was on the verge of seizing up and crumbling to the floor. "Somebody help! Please!" she cried out, her voice cracking and coming out painfully distraught. She cried out again, and again, and again, pleading for help while slamming her fists against the door.
Silence; nothing but music and her panicked breathing.
Another whimper, rife with despair, emitted from her shaking frame as tears freely rolled down her cheeks. She crumbled to her knees on the top step and pressed the side of her face against the door, squeezing her eyes shut as she cried and pounded her fists on the thing. "Joel Joel Joel!" she screamed at the top of her lungs.
Nothing. She started to uncontrollably sob.
"Puh-huh-huh-lease Joel! Please! He's here he's here he's fucking here help me please!" she shouted and screamed through her hiccuping sobs; the panic, fear and anguish in her voice reaching a level no one's should. "Oh god please Joel I need you where are you help me! Somebody help please! Let me out let me out!"
She paused to breathe, feeling utterly helpless and alone, and let out another harrowing sob while dragging her fingernails down the surface of the door. "Please, help... me... please... please," she pleaded, her voice softening as she simply drooped her head and wept.
For minutes she cried and wailed for him to come scoop her up into his arms and hold her forever, pounding her fists against the door until they were bloody whenever a particularly strong wave of fright coursed through her.
But she never heard a response. Only the music, laughing and noise of the party trickled through the basement door. Nothing more...
Meanwhile, up in the living room, Joel was relaxing in his lounge chair, not speaking to anyone because no one seemed to care to. And frankly, neither did he. His thoughts were elsewhere... Ellie.
He leaned his head back, took a deep breath and stared at the ceiling while listening to the music, which was still booming throughout the house, and tapping his fingers against the armrest to the beat. It was all just an attempt to keep his mind occupied and in the present of course. But he smiled and snickered to himself as he sang along to a few lyrics of the current song blasting through the speakers. A particular set of lyrics that reminded him of Ellie, "little feet little feet little hands little feet, oh little baby!"
Now that tiny, feisty and adorable redheaded girl was all he could think about, not this stupid fucking party that he had zero interest in. His smile widened and he softly chuckled, making every effort to keep it quiet because nothing said "I'm a normal and healthy human being" more than laughing to yourself in the corner of a room like a weirdo. But he couldn't help it, everything about that little sprite made him smile; her face, hair, eyes and nose, her antics, her persistent - sometimes annoying - games, her playful ways, pun-filled jokes and... yeah, pretty much everything. So the chuckles forced their way through his lips regardless.
Still grinning like a fool, he sighed and rocked his head to the side, resting his temple on the headrest of the chair, then glanced into the hallway, wondering when she'd return, she run off again? Been longer than normal. And... well, she had been gone longer than her usual trips to the bathroom.
He quietly laughed to himself once again at that, because he realized he really did know how long she took in the bathroom; number one and number two, or a bath, a shower, or to simply brush her teeth. Hell, he could probably countdown the time she took for each one down to the last millisecond. He understood the intricacies of her body and knew how it worked probably as well as she did. And vice versa, if he were being honest with himself. But after spending twenty-four hours a day around each other, tied at the hip for over a year, did they really expect otherwise?
He ran the self-induced snickers to completion, then rubbed his brow and let out another sigh, whatever, ain't like she don't know me either. Of course, any variance in the duration of her absence meant something was off. She had been gone way longer than he was used to, and inevitably, his paranoia began to scratch and claw at his mind.
That familiar uncomfortable tingle, when his nettlesome worry began to grip him, shot through his gut and he rose to his feet. Better go make sure everything's alright. He stretched both arms above his head and let out a yawn before rubbing the tiredness from his eyes; he was always so tired.
Walking into the hallway only increased the volume of everyone and everything around him. The music was louder, the people around him were louder and he could hardly hear his own voice as he called for her. "Ellie!" he shouted as he craned his neck to peer over the crowd.
Despite hoping to see that bouncing and bobbing auburn-haired ponytail come flying out of... somewhere, it was not to be found. And if she did hear him, there was no way in hell he'd hear a response over the noise of the party.
His level of anxiety increased and he started pushing people aside, with a bit more force than anyone would like, as he weaved through the hallway and various rooms of the house. He pushed and shoved his way through, receiving glares and looks of "excuse me asshole, what the fuck's your problem?" But he brushed them off, hardly giving them an ounce of attention. His imagination began to spiral out of control, his mind starting to unravel itself at the thought that she was in pain. And in the weirdest of ways, it felt like she was. He knew it... somehow.
He entered the kitchen to find William and his wife animatedly discussing something. Something about the amount of alcohol that had been consumed or the fact that pretty much all of the food in their cupboards was gone.
He gripped William's shoulder, a bit too hard, causing the man to spin around in surprise. "Woah!" William shouted with a flinch. "Oh, hey Joel, everything - "
"You seen Ellie?" he interrupted, his voice coming out deep, serious and rather stern.
"Uhh... no, no I haven't. Thought she was with you," William replied.
Joel clenched his teeth and grunted in response before spinning back around to continue his search. He scoured every room, every small clique, every nook and cranny, praying he'd see his little redhead simply bounding along, all happy and cute, asking a multitude of fucking questions to random strangers about things she had no business asking.
But she was nowhere to be found. And now he really was worried. His heart started to pound behind his chest and both arms began to shake, because his mind racing through horrible scenario after horrible scenario certainly wasn't helping. Oh fuck where'd she go you lost her for good you dumb ass the hell's wrong with you!?
He swallowed hard, then not knowing what else to do, bolted for the stereo. He yanked the plug, cutting power to the whole thing, and a deafening silence fell over the entire house. The sudden stoppage of music caused all conversations to cease and everyone stared at him like he was the ultimate fucking buzzkill.
"Hey, what the hell Joel?" William asked, irritation palpable in his voice.
"I can't find Ellie, an' no one is leavin' here until we - "
Something caught his ear, halting his speech immediately. The barely audible noise drew his attention to further down the hallway, towards the back of the house underneath the stairwell to the second story.
"Joel, you - "
"Shh! Quiet!" he spat, raising a finger to his lips. "You hear that?" he asked.
William arched an eyebrow and slowly turned his head around, as he and pretty much everyone else in the crowd acknowledged the muffled sound as well.
"Yeah... yeah what is that? It sounds like - "
"Cryin'," Joel stated with a sneer, his brow furrowing.
He gulped then lunged forward and stormed down the hallway with intent. The sniffling, crying and whimpering grew louder as he approached the basement door, the old, wooden thing looking like it had seen better days. What the fuck!?
From the other side, Ellie heard his footsteps, because she always knew what he sounded like. And knowing he was now finally close, but still unable to reach him, she resumed pounding on the door with an increased level of yearning and panic. "Oh god Joel Joel Joel it's you I know it's you! Please get me outta here! Pl-pl-please! You gotta get me outta here!" she shouted through a rainfall of tears as her previous crying and sobbing resumed once again.
His eyes widened and every paternal alarm in his head went wild. The fear, the anguish, the despair and terror behind her heartbreaking cries and voice only told him how fucking scared she was and how badly she wanted to be in his arms. Just hearing her in so much pain practically crushed the life out of him and his heart was now furiously pounding behind the prison of his rib cage.
Without another second of delay, he lunged for the door handle and tried to swing it open. The entire thing rattled and banged about, budging maybe an inch or two at most but nothing more as its lock caught in place. "What the fuck what the fuck!?" he yelled as his eyes widened in confusion. "It's locked!"
"Joel come on get me outta here please please!" she shouted and begged from the other side.
At this point, most of the guests at the party were now gathered around, watching the entire spectacle in confusion and disbelief. The lack of music and conversation only added to the tension in the air, because everyone knew how protective this closed-off, ornery, old man was of his little girl, and they weren't sure what kind of night they were in for if something happened to her.
Joel, panting in angst, swallowed hard and wiped his brow as he glanced around every which way in desperation, trying to come up with a solution. His moral compass was gradually spinning out of control and every part of him wanted to simply bring that door down with his bare fucking hands and boots, and probably give William, and everyone else for that matter, a piece of his mind.
But he didn't.
It were as if he actually felt Ellie imploring him from the other side to keep his composure, to keep that compass of his from going haywire. And she was, albeit silently, because just her presence alone was strong enough to keep it pointing magnetic-north. She was his moral compass, "don't do anything stupid but get me the fuck out of here! Please c'mon!" But it took every ounce of self-control he had to not act rash and thus alienate his little girl and himself from everyone else even more than they already were.
He quickly dropped to all fours, his palms firmly planting against the hardwood. He tried to stretch a hand through the crevice underneath the door, hoping if she could wrap one of her small fingers around his she'd at least feel a bit better; feel his presence there, feel him close. But the rough and callused thing was too big, it was no use. "Goddammit," he spat under his breath.
He looked up at the crowd, which had formed a large semi-circle around him, and scanned for William. "Why the fuck is this locked and why the fuck is she in there!?" he shouted, his face turning red as he fumed with protective anger.
Lare came running from the other end of the house, pushing and shoving his way through the crowd. "The hell's going on here!?" he shouted.
Joel glanced up at him. "Ellie's trapped in there an'..." he paused and gritted his teeth. "Somethin's happenin' to her goddammit! William, why the hell is she in there!?"
William finally emerged to the front, standing across from Lare. "I - I dunno! It's locked to keep kids out not in!" he fired back before taking a pause.
Then, his face fell and turned a dark, deep red as his fingers fumbled around in his pockets for the key, coming up empty. "Oh fucking hell..." He leaned back to boom his voice to the second story. "Ethan! Boy! I'm gonna smack the hell outta you!" he yelled, realizing his son was probably the culprit here.
Joel stood to his feet, clenched his throat and cracked his knuckles as he uncorked a dangerously cold, deep growl. "You bring that boy of yours down here right now or I'm gonna - "
"Do what? He's my fucking son asshole," William responded as he crossed his arms.
Lare lunged forward and grabbed Joel's arm. "Joel! Joel stop! Cool it goddammit!" The Texan, who at this point was visibly boiling over with protective wrath, was advancing towards William and the man was probably going to lose all of his teeth if he got too close.
Suddenly, Ellie's voice drew their attention back to her. This time, she sounded dreadfully afraid and in even more pain than before.
"Oh no... oh fuck... he's back, it's him it's him he's coming he's here Joel he's fucking here you gotta get me outta here come on come on he's gonna get me Joel come on please!" she pleaded and whined through a series of cries and sniffles. "Oh god oh god oh god get me out please please please I can hear him he's coming for me help pl-pl-please!" she screamed and pleaded while she banged against the door, the agony and pain behind her cries reaching an unbearable level.
Without registering a single other thought in his brain, he dove back to the ground, ramming the entirety of his large frame against the door and thus sending a loud bang reverberating through the house. "Oh god baby I know honey, I know! Hang in there sweetie, I'm gonna get you out I promise!" he shouted back, his voice nearly cracking because hearing her current state was crushing him, oh god my poor sweet little thing, my baby girl!
He lifted his head from the floor and leered at William. "Well you got a fuckin' key for this thing or what!?" he yelled at the man.
William gulped and shook his head, the sound of Ellie's painful cries shorting his breath ever so slightly. "Uhh yeah, yeah I got a spare one in my bedroom, I'll go get it right now," he said before frantically running up the stairs.
Joel planted an ear back to the floor, hoping to peer beneath the door and see some part of her, but it was too dark to make out anything. "We're gettin' the key baby, we're gonna get you outta there in no time I promise, okay honey? We're gonna get you out then we're gonna go home, watch a movie an' I'm gonna make you whatever the hell you want okay? Everything's gonna be alright," he assured her.
Suddenly, he heard her unhitch a scared and terrified, little squeak and what sounded like the patter of her feet kicking against the steps, as if she were frantically retreating to get away from something.
Everything went silent.
He no longer heard the constant sniffles or cries from the other side, and her small fists ceased to pound on the door. Somehow, the silence was worse than her painful wails. Those at least told him she was alive.
He gulped. His pupils dilated to their maximum size and his whole body shuddered. "Oh Jesus no... Ellie!" he spat in a panic. He actually sounded... afraid. Then in a desperate attempt to reach her, he tried to forcefully slide a hand beneath the door once again, deeply gouging, cutting and scraping his knuckles in the process. "Oh god no c'mon, talk to me girl," he muttered under his breath. "Ellie!?" he shouted, ramming himself up against the door even harder.
Nothing. No response. He pressed his forehead against the floor and grimaced, curling his fingers into fists out of frustration and nearly peeling away his fingernails as they dragged against the hardwood. She needed him, desperately, but oh fuckin' hell I'm so sorry baby I can't get to you!
He quietly cursed under his breath then shouted for her again. "Ellie! C'mon girl, talk to me baby! C'mon honey! Talk to me!"
Again, nothing. Not a peep.
"Oh Jesus," he softly spat under his breath with trembling lips. He slammed his body against the door once again in a desperate attempt to break it open. "Ellie! Baby!" he yelled again, his voice booming throughout the house and rattling the collective psyche of the gathered crowd, who all at this point were glancing around at each other in confusion and fear; some of them even backing away and leaving entirely.
In a panic, he shot to his feet, took a deep breath and tried to stop his limbs from shaking because I want to hold her so bad, fuck that, I need to hold her... "William hurry it up for Christ sake!" he bellowed.
William finally came running down the stairs, key in hand. "I've got I've got it!" he quickly spat.
"C'mon c'mon, open it open it," Joel said, beckoning William over as the man dropped off the bottom step. "I'm coming, Jesus Christ!"
"Move it people!" Lare yelled, commanding the crowd to part and make way for William, which they did.
William stumbled to the door and fumbled with the key. His hands were shaking and just sliding it into the lock was proving to be difficult.
"Hurry it up, let's go!" Joel shouted, his eyes emitting a powerful and protective fire so intense it could burn a hole into William's skull.
"I'm - I'm trying dammit!"
"Well try harder then! Somethin's hurtin' her!" Joel barked.
"What you mean something's hurting her?" William asked as he finally pushed the key into the knob, the words rapidly spouting from his lips.
"I - I don't fuckin' know goddammit! But somethin' is happenin' to my baby girl in there! Now get 'er out before I smash this thing down!"
"Okay okay, I got it I got it." William unlocked the door and within seconds Joel shoved him out of the way, then swung the half-broken thing open.
There she was, tightly curled into a tiny ball, with her knees brought to her chest and face buried into them as she silently wept. Her ponytail lightly shook and her whole body was quivering, shaking, vibrating, and fuck did that sight hurt him.
His jaw dropped as he let loose a heavy, airy gasp. "Oh no, baby," he softly said under his next breath with trembling lips. He waived a hand behind him, commanding the intimidating, enclosing crowd to back the hell up because if they didn't he'd probably knock them to the floor one by one for unnerving his little girl.
They obeyed, and went completely quiet, the only sound within earshot being the barely audible bubbling of boiling water that William's wife had on the stove. The woman shot William a dumbfounded expression, "what on earth just fucking happened?"
He raised both hands to shoulder height and made a face of utter confusion, trying to speak but couldn't and instead only emitted some strange, perplexed sigh. He had no clue what went on, but he sure as hell knew his boy was somehow responsible for locking the poor girl in there.
Joel slowly reached a hand out to touch her shoulder. "El - " he started, but paused to clear his throat. "Ellie, sweetie? Baby girl?" he softly asked.
Finally, her head twitched, as if his voice and those two words roped her out of whatever little world she retreated to in that tiny, curled up ball she became. She looked up at him, her eyes red from crying and those adorable, freckled cheeks stained with tears.
"Oh Jesus honey, oh no," he quietly muttered. His throat clenched upon seeing that face and the cute button of her nose that he'd come to love so much. She looked unbearably petrified, and continued to lightly shake in fear. But those big, crystallized, greenish-blue eyes stared up at him like his arms, his protective, coddling embrace, him, were all she wanted and yearned for in that moment. And dear god were they.
She stretched both of her small, bony arms up and towards him from her sitting, curled up posture, wiggling her fingers as she grasped at the air. "Daddy pl-please," she softly pleaded as her face formed a pitiful pout, her eyes wilting and leaking a few more tears from another hiccuping cry. Her voice sounded as pained as ever and before she knew it he was already reaching down and lifting her up by the armpits. "Shh I know baby I know, I gotcha, c'mere sweet pea c'mere," he cooed as he hoisted her up into his arms.
She wiggled against him and dug her nose into the crook of his neck before letting out a chest-shaking sob, not caring in the slightest that the entire crowd of the party was watching the whole ordeal. Because what the fuck were they gonna do? Say something? Yeah right, they knew better. Rumors aside, they at least knew this man was... absurdly protective of his little girl. And in this particular moment, if they so much as muttered anything that could be interpreted as a slight or an insult, they may not get the chance to grow old.
He slid one arm beneath her legs to support her weight, then firmly planted the other against her back and shoulder blades as he cradled her head. "Baby shh, I'm here I'm here, it's okay now it's okay now... it's okay... it's okay," he soothed. He gave her a long, gentle kiss to the temple, then rested his head against hers, taking in her scent, feeling her desperately press herself against him even harder as she let loose another sob and scared, little noise. It were as if finally getting into the one place she wanted, her favorite place, allowed her to completely relax, let loose and be... vulnerable, which only seemed to make her cry even harder.
"Shh shh I'm here now, it's okay... it's okay... we're alright, we're okay... we're okay... everything's fine honey, I'm here, I gotcha... breathe baby, breathe, shh it's okay," he cooed while letting her cry in his arms.
She smelled different. She wasn't effusing her familiar, natural scent. In fact, she smelled like when he found her in that blazing restaurant a year ago. She smelled afraid, and the scent triggered a rush of painful memories for him. Images of when he nursed her back to health, and her small frame writhing around during the night because of some horrible dream, darted through his mind.
She sniffled and whimpered again before making an attempt to speak. "It - it - it... it was h-him," she said, struggling to form the words through her hiccuping sobs. Remembering the paralyzing fear she felt in that basement, sent a shiver up her spine and she shuddered, then pressed herself against him once again, nuzzling into the crook of his neck even harder than before.
And if the scent of her wasn't enough to confirm his fear, that sure was. No one else in the crowd knew who "him" was, but he sure as hell did.
He squeezed her tighter, sensing her desire to feel his arms completely envelop her small self, then pressed his lips against her temple. "Oh god baby no, he can't hurt you again honey, he ain't ever gonna hurt you again, not when you're here, not when you're with me sweetheart," he whispered to her, feeling the tightening of her grasp around his neck as she clung to him for dear life.
Hoisted off the ground up in his arms, that was her favorite place. She was safe there, protected from all horrors of the world, and before long, her sobs began to wane and the constant rush of tears stopped. After a few minutes of him silently holding, squeezing and cuddling her, rubbing her back and soothing her, the only evidence of the trauma that remained were a few staggered sniffles.
And much to Joel's dismay, because he was sure that when he eventually saw the boy he'd want to wring his neck, Ethan came downstairs. "Oh, holy... shit..." the boy softly said, wide eyed and all. "What... what the hell happened?"
William snapped his head around and glared at his son in ire. "You are in some big, deep, serious trouble boy. Now get back upstairs and go to to your room before I throw you down there goddammit!" he shouted, his voice nearly cracking from the amount of anger behind it.
Ethan huffed and rolled his eyes, then made his way back upstairs as told, all the while his body language giving off a very nonchalant and aloof, "I-don't-give-a-shit" attitude.
Joel's eyes trained on the boy, the dark browns following his figure as he ascended the steps, goddamn inconsiderate little shit.
William raised both arms and waved for everyone to disperse. "Alright people, move it along! If you wanna stay, you're more than welcome, but I think we're wrapping this up now!" he shouted.
A series of incoherent babbles and mutterings echoed from the dispersing crowd as everyone either simply went back to what they were doing before, or left the house entirely.
William and Lare approached Joel, who of course still had Ellie tightly clutched against him in his embrace. The girl was silent, not uttering a peep other than a few sniffles and now had both eyes closed, her arms tightly wrapped around his neck and her head resting on his shoulder; her face practically buried into him.
"I'm..." William started, but pausing as he looked towards the ground and sighed. "I'm really sorry Joel, I'm gonna deal with Ethan, I swear. The boy is... well he's a damn teenage boy. What can I say, I'm... I'm so sorry," he said, sounding genuinely apologetic.
Joel snorted and shook his head, then felt Ellie give his neck a squeeze, "be nice."
Now wasn't that something? Despite the past half-hour, she still had the mindset and capability to show some compassion for a man who was... very loosely responsible for her being locked away in that godforsaken basement.
He took a deep breath, because having her in his arms gave him the ability to relax at least a little bit. "Yeah, yeah I know. She's just a bit shaken up, that's all. Reckon I'm gonna get her home," he said as he planted a kiss to her cheek while rubbing her back. He lifted his head off of hers and leaned it to the side. "You ready to go home baby girl?" he asked.
She gently shifted, and rubbed her nose against his neck, "I already am home."
He smiled at that, causing William and Lare to arch an eyebrow in confusion. They simply observed the little redhead nod in response, her ponytail bobbing against Joel's arm in the process. But of course they had no idea what strange form of silent communication went on between the two damaged goods.
"You got it sweetheart, home it is," he said, his voice slightly straining as he readjusted her in his arms.
"You want some company for the walk back?" Lare kindly asked.
Joel stopped before walking through the front door and turned around. "Nah, don't worry about me. I've got all I need right here," he said with a smile as he patted Ellie on the back.
The two men returned his smile with theirs and nodded, because they knew that was true, he certainly did. But they gave each other a pained and guilty look, and sighed as they watched him carry Ellie down the road, knowing that the events of tonight weren't going to make anything for the two, poor, co-dependent souls any easier.
The walk home was torture. It wasn't all that long, but it was done in complete silence. Only the wind and chirping of crickets kept his ears occupied while he carried her home. As much as her usual talkative state annoyed him sometimes, it was far better from the alternative. At least then she was happy. During the walk home though, she was anything but. All the way there he held her extra tight and smothered her cheeks, nose and forehead with gentle kisses, hoping to get any kind of sound or smile out of her. But she never uttered a single word, not even the tiniest of muffled laughs even when he made a forced, dumb attempt at a joke to cheer her up. The silence was painful, and that, coupled with her squirming and wiggling against him whenever she felt herself slipping from his arms, tugged at his heartstrings.
When they got home she went straight for the shower. And he hoped that when she returned downstairs she'd be somewhat back to normal, though he knew that was wishful thinking.
Seconds turned to minutes, and the minutes dragged on and on while he sat at the kitchen table in silence with a hand holding his brow as he blankly stared at the patterns in the wooden table. He pondered, contemplated and debated with himself about how they were going to be happy in this world. Perhaps this was their punishment for all of their sins committed during their journeys. Perhaps they were destined to be forever unhappy and cruelly tortured wherever they went, but if you're gonna torture anyone, torture me goddammit, not her, she don't deserve any of that.
He wiped a hand down his face and sighed, feeling his eyes beginning to water. Just remembering how scared and terrified she sounded on the other side of that door, when he knew he couldn't get to her, was grinding him into fine grains of sand.
Nothing but the tick of a nearby clock, the buzz of the light fixture above and the sound of running water from upstairs kept him company. He took a deep breath and made a series of empty glances around the room, hoping to stave off the burning sensation in his eyes. How the hell can people be so cruel to her?
Much like at the party, she'd been in the bathroom longer than normal. And much like then as well, he started to worry, and instead of waiting a few more minutes like he did earlier, he immediately rose to his feet and went upstairs.
The water was still running, he could hear it through the door, so he knocked rather loudly. "Ellie, sweetie, you doin' alright in there?" he asked.
She didn't respond, and given the current circumstances, a lack of a response was quite possibly the worst response he could've received. "Ellie!?" he said again, this time with more volume.
Again, nothing.
Oh Jesus not again.
He turned the knob and slowly pushed open the door, only to be welcomed by a massive cloud of steam that nearly choked him it was so thick. How damn long she been in here for? He wasn't sure how much time had passed since they returned home. It all seemed like a giant blur while he wallowed in sorrow alone downstairs.
He slowly approached the tub, which was encased in a white shower curtain, and heard that familiar, heartbreaking sound of little Ellie whimpers and sniffles. Oh not again, my poor girl.
Unable to bear the painful, muffled sounds any longer, he swiped open the curtain in one violent motion. He looked down only to see her wet, small and naked self curled into a ball and weeping in the center of the tub. Her back and shoulders were red from the constant spray of hot water, which was barely lukewarm at this point since she pretty much used all of it up, and her hair was sopping wet, freely hanging down to her shoulders and out of its standard tied up position in a ponytail.
He turned off the water and watched her choke back another sob, squeezing her eyes shut as more tears dripped from her eyelids.
His knees nearly buckled at the sight of her. His arms shook he wanted to hold her so bad and his entire face melted, both eyes wilting into a pained expression. "Oh no, honey," he softly cooed as he knelt to the floor, right next to the tub.
Goosebumps rose on her skin due to the sudden rush of cold, causing her to lightly shiver, and she slowly lifted her head to look up at him. She tried to smile at his warming presence, but couldn't, instead feeling another tremble in her lips as she whimpered and squeezed out a few more tears down her cheeks.
He swallowed away the lump that was trying to lodge itself in his throat, then opened his mouth to speak. "Shh it's okay, c'mere, c'mon now, here we go," he said as he reached into the tub and slid an arm between her calves and thighs to pick her up. He lifted her out of the tub then set her down on the bathmat, feeling her gaze never once leaving his face as he pulled away.
There she was, sopping wet and completely naked with scars, pale flesh, privates and all uncovered for him to see. She sniffled and wiped her eyes, the glistening, greenish-blue things looking up at him like he was the only thing that made her feel... safe; that made her feel protected and actually okay to be... vulnerable.
He reached down and rubbed her chin before giving a peck to the bridge of her nose, then grabbed a nearby towel hanging on the rack. "C'mon now, let's get you dried off an' warm alright? Everything's gonna be okay, we're gonna be fine, I promise," he said as he quickly rubbed the towel against her hair, drying it just enough so the auburn strands weren't dripping water everywhere.
He wrapped it snugly around her shoulders, swaddling her tiny frame in it, then looked into her eyes. She sniffled again and tried to smile, but was only barely able to do so. Because for some reason when he gazed into her eyes, she nearly melted from the amount of paternal love flowing out of him... like she wanted to cry again.
His face went tense and he gulped, oh shit what the hell did I do I'm gonna make her cry again an' I ain't gonna be okay if I'm the one who-
She reached a dainty little hand out to his sleeve and wiggled over the bathmat to get closer to him, giving him that all-too familiar and endearing look as her timid smile just barely widened. "Gimme!"
His muscles relaxed, and he cocked his head in slight confusion, but made every attempt to hide it because dear god he couldn't be the one falling to pieces right now when she so desperately needed him.
So he smiled, then slid one arm behind her legs once again, wrapping the other around her back, and lifted her up to carry her downstairs. He carried her out of the bathroom, down the stairs and into the living room, then gently settled onto the couch. He carefully placed her in his lap and held her, making every effort not to disturb or wrongly rock her.
Within seconds of him sitting down, she was already shifting in his arms, making herself comfortable and resting an ear against his chest, listening for his heartbeat and syncing her breathing with his. She closed her eyes and took in his scent - it always relaxed her - then heaved a series of deep breaths, matching the motion of his chest with hers, you have no fucking idea how much you mean to me.
He kissed her hair and rubbed her back, his hand dampening as it glided over the soaked towel that still swaddled her petite and delicate form. "There you go, let it all out, we're okay now," he cooed, knowing she was still upset, but maybe not entirely sure of why. But part of him felt ridiculously self-conscious and his heart started to beat just a little bit harder, because if anyone in town saw him in their current state, him holding a naked little girl in his arms, they'd probably flip their shit.
The uptick of his heartbeat made her squirm just a tad, her body language making it painfully obvious, and he took a deep breath to calm it back down. Besides, what was he worried about? Hurting her? He never would. She knew that. He knew that. They knew that, and he realized there really wasn't anything left between them that was unknown or kept secret.
Yeah, she was sitting in his lap, naked, wearing nothing but a wet towel. A towel that was only barely big enough to cover her torso so her pelvis and bare, pale and skinny legs were uncovered and out in the open air. And yeah, to anyone else the entire scene would've looked absurd - wrong? - and screamed unhealthy, indescribable co-dependence.
But man was he out of fucks to care.
No one had been through what they'd been through. And she was safe there, in his arms. Like she always was. It was the safest, warmest, most loving place in the fucking universe. Eventually she'd grow out of the endearing habit as she got older, though he couldn't bear to think about that right now; what... her growing up and leaving their nest, only to find comfort in another man's arms? Jesus...
Selfish old man. But he was her selfish old man, which somehow seemed to make it okay. Besides, his arms were the best. They were the most comforting. As long as she was there, she was cuddled, safe and protected from all horrors of the world and... loved. Like she deserved. And just that thought alone relaxed him, putting his whole body into a rather serene state.
"They..." she started to speak, but paused in an attempt to stifle another whimper. The muffled peep roped him out of his thoughts and pulled his undivided attention back to her, his hands resuming the act of massaging her back.
"Shh, it's okay sweetheart, take your time. I ain't goin' anywhere," he soothed into her hair before kissing her again.
"They said horrible things," she said against his shirt, her voice cracking again as she gave every effort to hold back more tears.
He gritted his teeth in ire, squeezing her a bit tighter because I swear to god if I find out who "they" are I'm gonna kill 'em. He slid a finger underneath her chin, lifting the small thing up so her crystallizing sparkling eyes were gazing up at him. "What kinda horrible things?" he softly asked as he forced a pout to match the bulge of her lower lip.
She looked him in the eyes, hers giving way to a very slow blink; the little girl for some reason thinking if she closed them for too long she'd wake up somewhere else, cold and... alone.
"Things about you," she murmured as her eyelids wilted. "That you did things to me and... they called... " she stopped herself, because she knew if she told him those two little shits called her a whore he'd march right back to that house and wring their prepubescent necks or worse.
He started gently rocking her back and forth. He dug his nose into her hair and took in her scent as he pressed his eyes shut, unable to think about that happening to her. "Oh baby girl I'd never, ever... you know that," he muttered, but her words weren't making his earlier realization, that he was okay with holding her naked self in his arms, any easier.
She wriggled free just enough from his embrace so she could crane her neck and look into his eyes once again. "I know that. I learned that forever ago," she softly said. "And I would never, ever fucking hurt you either. But..."
"But what darlin'?" he asked as he pecked her forehead.
"I fucking hate it when they say shit like that about you!" she suddenly yelled, her whole frame going stiff and rigid from anger. That was the most lively she looked and sounded since venturing into that stupid basement. "It's not fair! You're a good, good man. You're better and more of a man than every other fucker put together in this place... hell the whole world!" she shouted.
That made him smile. But he felt a little guilty, because maybe that meant she actually wouldn't ever leave their nest, knowing that her finding a man as good as him would apparently be impossible. Yeah, definitely a selfish old man. But he didn't care. And neither did she.
He took a deep breath and ran a hand through her hair, taking note of the smile that stretched across her lips as his fingers intertwined themselves with the auburn reddish strands. She rarely wore it down, and part of him felt special, knowing that only he got to see her with it all untied and chaotically draped down to her shoulders. "Let 'em say what they want, I don't give a damn," he finally said.
"Well I give a damn! You don't deserve to be treated that way and it pisses me the fuck off!" she said, her voice increasing in volume and frustration. The words, names and hurtful things people had been saying about him shot across her mind and she felt her eyes begin to water once again. She staved off the tears, then sighed and scrunched her face, her nose crinkling from the act.
He couldn't help but smile at the adorable sight. "What?" she asked, puzzled by his change of expression.
"Nothin', you're just cute as hell when you make that face," he said with a light laugh.
"What face? You mean this one?" she said, resuming the previous crinkle in her nose.
He laughed again. "Yeah, that one... cute little thing," he replied as he pinched it, since I reckon it just had to be pinched.
She shrugged and smiled, the small motion hardly noticeable underneath the loosening towel draped over her shoulders. "But noted. I'll remember that when you get pissed at me next time," she said with a bat of the eyes.
He snorted and rubbed her cheek with a thumb, letting his palm linger as it enveloped half of her face. "Don't think I could get pissed at you even if I tried there missy," he said with a wink. And maybe he shouldn't have told her that, because now she'd always reach for a mile every time he gave her an inch. But who was he to care? He was a pushover when it came to caving from the little redhead's persistent games anyway.
She buried her face into his chest, then closed her eyes and uncorked a massive, deep breath. "Anyway, fuck those assholes," she said, her voice muffled from his shirt.
He kissed the top of her head. "Yes ma'am, let 'em rot in hell for all I care."
"And I swear to god I'm kicking the ass of whoever I hear talking shit about you like that again," she declared with a growing grin.
He couldn't see the delicate thing, but he felt the dimples form in her cheeks against his shirt. "Reckon I ain't seen a good ass kickin' in awhile. Hell, I'll grab my popcorn, take a seat an' watch the whole damn thing," he said with a smirk.
She rolled her face against his chest and uncorked one of her signature, boisterous laughs. "Pfffft! What the fuck does popcorn have to do with it!?" she asked through her snorting chuckles. Even though the wonderful sounds were muffled by his shirt, they were still the greatest fucking things on the planet to him.
He snorted and rolled his eyes. "God you're adorable... just... never mind."
She rested her chin against his chest and looked up at him with a smile. "I do what I can," she said with a shrug.
He returned her smile with one of his own and looked at her adoringly. "Love you to death baby girl," he said before planting another kiss to her hair.
"You too big guy, you too..." she replied, her smile widening as she let loose a happy sigh of content.
A short silence fell between them, and he simply held her while gently rocking her back and forth, rubbing her back and stroking her hair. The familiar sound of crickets outside, the constant buzz of their kitchen light and their breathing were the only noises around until she unhitched a squeaky and tired yawn.
"My little Ellie Gettin' sleepy sweet pea?" he asked.
"Uh-huh," she said with a nod, her cheek rubbing against his shirt. "But... could... could you sing? Please?" she diffidently asked, slightly dipping her head, though she wasn't sure why she was afraid to ask because of course he would never say no.
"Same as always?" he answered with a growing smile of his own.
With her eyes still closed, she sighed happily once more and wrapped both hands around one of his arms as she leaned into him, nestling deeper into his embrace to her liking. "Yep, same as always," she said.
And like he'd done so many times before, he sang to her as she gradually dozed off in his arms, the one place she felt safe, free and far away from her troubles and worries. Before long, she was peacefully asleep, her chest delicately rising and falling with each breath. But he couldn't fall asleep even if he tried. He was too busy adoring the cutest thing on the fucking planet curled up in his embrace, watching over her like a protective guard dog and ensuring that every single one of her breaths went off without a hitch.
Because she's his home. She's his whole world. She's his whole universe. She's his... everything.
AN: I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for taking the time to read and review if you did. For those who are curious, the song that Joel sings along to is So Much to Say by Dave Matthews Band.
Cheers and happy holidays everyone.
