A/N: This was an inspiration I got on Valentines Day to write. Yes, I know its a little late but I was busy okay? Just want to say that this Lily character is me. The way she acts in this story is the way I act every Valentines Day, minus the hot James Potter coming to my rescue. This is the longest one-shot I have ever written and I hope it's the best so far. So read, review and (hopefully) enjoy.
"Boycott Valentines Day. Boycott Valentines Day. Dump the Hearts and Hugs." said my favorite sixteen year old red head, walking up and down the hallways passing out pamphlets in bright colors.
She didn't realize the fact that most of the students either ignored her or avoided her at all costs (except me) and that her best friend Alice Vance (who was supposed to be assisting in the protest) had ran off with her boyfriend, Frank Longbottom, for a mug of butter beer and a Valentine's Day stroll around the grounds.
Lily Evans stood in her favorite muggle outfit which included jeans, tennis shoes, a white mid-drift level T-shirt with BOYCOTT VALENTINES DAY on the front and DUMP THE HEARTS AND HUGS on the back, and a cream colored under shirt to cover her belly and not break dress code. Her beautiful, long, auburn hair was tied up in a pony-tail, pulled to the side of her head with a few reddish wisps hanging out of place as she paced the Great Hall entrance back and forth. She looked so damn pretty when she was in a huffy mood. It was three o'clock on a Saturday afternoon and instead of joining the happy couples, Lily rebelled against them. She yelled at passing hand holders and jinxed every pair of snogging students she could find.
This was an annual custom for her, because she hated Valentine's Day. Absolutely hated it. Ever since first year, she had gone around and defied the entire dating organization and refused to even like a boy. Her friends had diagnosed her with a disease titled C.H.B.S (Cold hearted Bitch Syndrome) but she was proud of her difference. When all girls wore makeup, she wrote an essay on how makeup screwed their faces up. When girls bought expensive clothes, she petitioned against the store for using animal furs in their clothing. Obviously, this girl is extraordinary which is pretty much the reason I love and adore her the way I do.
Anyway, she had been standing there in the corridor all day, passing out little hearts that read BOYCOTT VALENTINES DAY all over them. She hadn't even realized that I had been standing there behind the pillar all day, because she was so into her work. She hadn't even bothered to notice that I've always been there watching. I was fascinated by her work. I rarely ever got to see Lily when she was not trying to kill me or make it so we could never have kids. But when I did, it was always the most cherished of all moments. The times I usually spied on her, she was doing homework humming quirky little songs to herself and sometimes she would even talk to herself about her issues, one of them being me, the annoying James Potter. Now though, I got to see my Lily Flower in action.
She had been there for four hours now, giving multiple motivational speeches to girls receiving broken hearts. Four hours of hard work, and she had barely gotten anywhere. That failed to faze her. Her dark brow was creased in concentration and a small trickle of sweat beaded on her temple. I felt bad that she was fighting a lost cause but that's how she was, fighting the entire world one inch at a time and not giving a damn what people though about her.
Finally, I decided enough was enough. I walked out from my hiding place toward her. The change was almost instantaneous. Her openly gruff and satisfied face closed up upon my entering her bubble. Her eyes became emerald lines on her head as they narrowed and she began to walk away abruptly. I, with my quick legs muscled from years of practice at Quidditch, caught up with her in a few seconds. She whirled around to face me and got to the point.
"No Potter, I do not want to be your Valentine, nor will I ever want to go out with you."
I stood there a little confused. Did she always think I was going to ask her out?
Before she turned away, I grabbed her arm and tried to make her understand before she verbally abused me and stalked off.
"Evans, I just wanted to help you with your protest." I said earnestly, trying hard not to look at her and get lost in her eyes.
"What?" She asked sharply as she stopped struggling.
"I wanted to help you boycott Valentines Day. I find this holiday rather overrated as well, so I want to assist."
"Well, I'm sorry," she began, yanking her arm from my firm grasp, "But I just finished it and there is nothing else left to do. I'm sorry."
I could tell she wasn't sorry, just making an excuse as to not spend time with me. That was fine with me, as odd as it seemed. I loved her enough to let her be rude to me. If this wasn't the case, I would have forgotten her a long time ago.
I caught up with her again before she could break into a run. I grabbed her arm once more.
"Potter, if you don't let me go right this instant, I will personally ensure that you will be in quite a lot of pain for most of the foreseeable future." She said, getting right up in my face and speaking in a deadly quiet whisper. I had to try so hard to keep from kissing her plush lips. Thank God I was able to do so, or I would have been pounded into a pulp.
"Please Lily? Just a few hours more boycotting. I'm sure you've still got that fighting spirit in you to use for just a couple more hours? I promise not to pull any pranks or try to boycott your own boycott." I said, laughing at my witty use of words, though quailing after receiving a disapproving look from her. I blushed lightly, hating myself for becoming another subject to her death glare.
"Well," she began, and I knew I was winning the argument, "I'm not sure at all. I do have to start homework and I have to go eat dinner."
"I'll come with you," I cut her off, "I'm not doing anything for the rest of this damned day so why not hang out with a new... acquaintance."
I caught the smallest of smiles tugging at the corners of her pink lips when I said the word 'acquaintance' which sent my stomach into a series of multiple flips. But then, just like that, it was gone.
"I guess... for a few hours I could hang out, but I'm warning you Potter, if you try anything: asking me out, kissing me, anything, you will be dead before you can apologize."
"Deal. And call me James." I said, holding out my hand confidently for her to take. She did, and I could have sworn my body temperature rose by one-hundred degrees.
"James," she said slowly, as if testing whether the name felt right on her tongue, which it obviously did, because she had to try hard not to openly grin at me, placing a look of suspicion on her face and added, "Well James, let's go down to the common room and start on homework."
"Okay Lily." I said happily, loving the sound of her name in my throat. We walked off down the hallway together and for some odd reason, avoided students. Not that it mattered though, because most of the students were off in Hogsmeade with their Valentines.
I looked down at Lily, wanting to bridge the awkward gap that had been following us as we walked.I could tell she was battling some internal force, not wanting to fraternize with her official enemy. I saw her glance curiously at me a few times, but when I looked back at her I only received either a glare or a poor attempt at a smile.
After a while of brooding silence, I diligently searched for a conversation topic. Not too personal and not too pointless.
"So, what is your favorite kind of muggle music?" I asked cautiously, relieved when she didn't smack me for asking too intimate a question.
She didn't, but the question must have struck her as strange because she seemed to not understand it. She constantly had this half hostile, half amused look on her face.
"Ummm... hmmm," she thought seriously causing me to notice her angelic features once more, "Probably the Beatles or the Rolling Stones... but I really like Sonny and Cher."
"I love the Beatles! One of my favorite bands!" I said enthusiastically.
"You listen to muggle music?" She poked incredulously, looking at me rather shocked.
"Yeah, I mean... there are not that many Wizard or Witch bands and my Dad says it's good for the soul to stay in touch with the muggle world and what's happening in it."
"Wow," I could tell she was really impressed, though didn't like showing it, "Can I tell you a secret?"
"Sure Lily." I said sweetly, placing a strictly platonic arm around her shoulder, which surprisingly she didn't shrug off.
"Actually, never mind, I shouldn't be telling you something secret after just getting to know you." She said with an uncertain glance.
"Nonsense! My lips will remain zipped, I pinky promise!" I said, offering a pinky which she pushed away with a smile.
She had never genuinely smiled at me before.
"Okay, this is gonna sound a little sad... but...when I was about nine or so I used to keep a picture of Paul McCartney under my pillow and kiss it every night before I went to sleep! How insane is that!"
I looked at her for a moment with a perplexed expression and then burst out laughing, which made her narrow her eyes and put the emotion-cloaker up again.
"What is so funny?" She snapped.
"You...picture...kiss...every..night..." I wheezed as I leaned on her side and laughed my head off. I couldn't stop. My crazed giggling must've been contagious cause after a moment of scrutinizing me, the barrier went down and she once again was at ease. And (this was a bonus) she started laughing too.
I had only heard Lily Evans laugh a few times in my life. I mean, I knew she had laughed for many other people but never for the annoying James Potter. One time was in first year when Sirius was trying to make his first potion and it blew up in his face, singeing his eyebrows and another was when I tried to impress her by flying my broom through the Great Hall, only to loose control and land face forward into the Christmas pudding. But this time, she wasn't laughing at me... she was laughing with me. And I decided that this (next to her voice) was the most musical sound I had ever heard. Like a cauldron of Felix Felicis about to be tasted.
We continued to laugh. And laugh and laugh, until we were on the floor, clutching out stomachs and crying. Everything seemed funny all of a sudden and we just couldn't stop ourselves. It was like some kind of disease that we just couldn't get rid of. Like that case of sniffles and vomiting that hit all of the second years a few weeks back. Sure enough, everyone got it, second year or not.
But once we did, we talked about everything and nothing at the same time. Our favorite candies and why, the worst person we ever met and our least favorite food. It seemed as if she was finally starting to warm up to me after all of those years of resentment. There were times when she still acted distant but that was fine. At the rate we were moving, she would be my best friend by midnight, hopefully. Before I realized it, we had reached the common room and it was already six 'o clock, meaning we hadn't exactly taken the short cut to get back there. A good sign. I recited the password and she led the way. I decided this was by far the best Valentine's Day ever and I hadn't spent but two hours with this girl.
"Do you always spend this much time on homework Lils?" I asked playfully, looking over her flawless potion's essay for but a moment.
"Yes, and sometimes even more. But I figure that since it's a holiday and that I've worked especially hard on protesting it, that I'll cut myself a tiny bit of slack."
"Lily," I said, stretching on the rug like a cat about to take a nap, "I don't mean to be rude and ruin the lovely acquaintanceship we've established, but you really need to stop focusing so much on homework."
"Homework is cleansing for the soul." She answered haughtily, grinning down at me.
An hour ago, I wouldn't expected so much as a friendly word out of her. But now, she was open. She still had those instances though, where she would get this odd look on her face, as if fighting off a stomach ache. She'd often go into long periods of staring at me as I did something, and I tried not to stare back.
"I refuse to believe that."
"Well, I've been busy ,James, with the boycott and everything. I was up till two this morning making pamphlets."
"Why do you boycott Valentines Day anyway?" I asked. "I mean, you've done this since first year, so it obviously isn't just a phase."
"Well, I believe Valentine's Day is a useless holiday that gets girls thinking that they will never survive unless they have a boyfriend or husband or whatever. They think that if they go alone on this day, then they are doomed to lives of loneliness. But that's not true. Lots of women can live lonely lives and still be satisfied. I think that this day creates a false pretense that gifts have to be bought and love has to be felt. But what if you don't want to feel it? What if you want to fight it? What if you just want to be left alone so as to avoid heartache. What if...cutting yourself off from the rest of the world is what makes you so strong and able to cope?"
I watched her throughout this entire statement. She wasn't talking about anyone in general. She was talking about herself. I could tell. Just by the way she placed her quill down and drew her knees to her chin, hugging herself for needed comfort. Her eyes, which were usually covered-up by a wall of attitude, were now wide open and staring into the fire, resembling emerald pools. My attraction to her intensified as she sat in this mentally vulnerable position. I had never in my entire life seen anyone ask so many rhetorical questions that mean so much.
"Lils?" I asked, scooting up beside her as she laid her head on my shoulder.
"I'm fine... I'm fine really James." She said, her green eyes darting around the room like a bird in a cage looking for escape. She was hesitant and timid, her breathing almost erratic as she pondered the right words to say. I held my gaze to her face as she fussed for a few moments, twisting her hands in angst and muttering to herself.
"I just...I just feel that... sometimes, in this battle against the world that no one in a million years would root for me." She paused, probably waiting for me to make a smarmy comment, but I kept my mouth shut.
"It doesn't bother me usually," she continued, "but now, talking about this to you, I realize that I feel so... so empty. L---like I haven't experienced life at all. Like I have no point on this earth."
A single tear escaped from her eye and I was in awe. How could she live like this? Pushing happiness away just so she could fight for what she believed in.
"Lily, listen to me right now. Hiding your real thoughts and feelings from the rest of the world isn't going to stop you from wanting what all humans want. And heartache isn't that bad. Yeah, it hurts like hell but, you figure it's worth it after a while. Is that really the reason you rebel against the Day of Love?"
"Yes, and I'm an idiot, but I can't help it. And I don't know why I'm telling you this out of all people. I'm sorry for shoving this on you James. The world just caught up with me finally."
Another pause, this time she stared directly into the fire, as if fighting off some internal monster that I had no clue of. She closed her eyes for a moment and let out the smallest sigh of sadness. It was the kind of breath that made my heart tear in two, hearing it. She looked back at me.
"It's wrong of me, since we just started being...acquaintances but, I've always been alone on Valentine's Day, always always always. Either my friends are sick or have got a date. And me? I sit around like the sour puss I am. I don't even except Valentine's from anyone. How pathetic is that?"
"Lily you are not a sour puss," I said disbelievingly, "I can't fathom why you would think that of yourself. I could go on for years about how great and wonderful you are, but I won't because you would think I was trying to flirt or something. Next year, if you want me too, I'll help you boycott, so you don't feel so alone. Alright?"
"Okay." She said, looking down wards in embarrassment. I watched her intently for a few moments but could gain nothing more from her. I didn't understand why she had opened up to me so quickly or why it was me she had opened up to, but I was glad to make her feel better.
I wanted to say so much more, find out more things about her without sounding to nosy. I was like a child with Pandora's Box in my hands, temptation just a foot away.
"Alright, let's play the question game." I said, turning to face her so our knees were touching.
"How does that go?" She asked.
"I ask a question and you have to answer truthfully and then you ask me one that I have to answer truthfully and so on."
"Okay," she said eagerly, "What is your favorite breakfast food?"
"Oh, that's easy, pancakes. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?"
"Probably Holly or Emily. I'd keep Evans though, because I like the sound of people shouting it out."
I looked at her as she smiled up at me, any signs of sadness completely vanished. It made me so happy to think that I could help her out of sadness.
"Now," she said, "Who was the first girl you ever kissed?"
"Marilyn Stubs." I said proudly.
"The school slut? Ewwwww!!!!" She said, wrinkling her small, perfect nose in mock disgust.
"Well, she wasn't all that bad. Great kisser, but of course, she wanted to go further, so luckily I was able to stun her and get away with just a kiss. For some reason, she never spoke to me again."
Lily laughed the musical, bubbly laugh and I felt my breath hitch again.
"What about you Lils? Who was your first kiss?" I inquired.
"Haven't got one." She said proudly.
"What? How could you be so damn amazing and not kiss a boy in your life?! Its impossible!" The question came out of my mouth sounding almost completely serious, but I was able to add a teasing grin on the end to keep it light hearted.
"No it's not. I think I once kissed a boy on the cheek in kindergarten, but he ran away saying something about cooties. Hmmmm...if you were a girl, what would your parents have named you?"
"Helen after my Gran. That's not funny!" I said indignantly as Lily rolled around on the couch in mirth, "Fine, who was you're first crush at this school?"
Lily stropped laughing and looked warily at me for a moment and then began giggling again.
"Sirius Black!" She crowed, laughing hysterically as if this was funny. I began laughing as well, even though I slightly wished she had said I was her first and only crush, so we could kiss, get married and be done with the never ending agony for Jamesie.
"Okay, okay," she gasped, trying to regain control of her laughter, "What do you want to do when you get out of here?"
"I want to be an auror. My dad knows the leaders of the program who train new aurors and I know that's what I want to be. My second choice would be a hot Quidditch about you?"
"Auror." She replied instantly without hesitation. I really admired that about her, the fact that she always got to the point, no beating around the bush whatsoever. Not that there wasn't anything about her that I didn't love. Maybe the fact that she hated me from the start, but even still, I loved her refusal to date me. What can I say? A head strong girl should be worshiped.
"Why?" I asked, though predicting the answer before she said it.
"My mom was murdered two years ago. I always wanted to make sure that others like her were protected, even if it means putting my life in danger. And don't apologize for her death, it's made me who I am."
I didn't say anything more for a minute, not wanting to intrude on her dark and personal thoughts. But I did notice the slight tremor in her usually firm voice and the dull flash of her eyes. I figured it still hurt to talk about this, so I didn't press the subject any further.
"My turn to ask the question," she said, shaking her head and smiling sadly, contemplating what to ask next, "Why did you chase me for five years of your life? There are plenty of other girls who would rather take you, but still you persevered. Why?"
I thought for a second, not wanting to spill the whole truth, knowing she would get flustered and then my day would be screwed. There so many reasons I practically stalked her for five years, and why I asked her out nearly 645 times, but could I really tell her them all? I would rather keep silent than ruin the new found...acquaintanceship I had just received from her. I opened my mouth and closed it, and then spoke.
"I'll tell you...when you promise not to run away from what I say. I know you well enough to know that while you are always straight to the point, you get uncomfortable when other people are that way to you. So how about this, when you are sure you can face it, ask me again and I'll answer."
She looked intently at me, and I saw a new emotion flash across her face. I couldn't make it out, but it was something new, something alien that I had never seen on her face before while speaking to her. Her lips were pressed together, and her eyes were wide and clear, neither hiding nor showing exactly anything to me, but I could tell she was in some kind of turmoil. After a rather long staring contest, she whispered, "Okay James."
"Good," I said cheerily, clapping my hands and rubbing them together."Are you hungry? 'Cause I'm starving, and besides, its already nine 'o clock! We've been here for three hours!"
"No sodding way!" She said, looking at the clock, "You're right! Yeah, that's fine, can I just go pull on my P.J.'s? That way I can be comfy."
"Sure." I said, trying not to sound eager to see her in night clothes, "Meet me here in about ten minutes, cause I'm gonna go change too. And don't worry, I don't sleep naked, so I will be censored."
"Ha ha." She mocked sarcastically, before walking up to her room and closing the door firmly.
I stood there for what seemed hours, trying to register what was happening. I was spending Valentine's Day with the girl of my dreams and for once, she wasn't trying to hurt me in any way. In fact, she was being rather...sweet.
She's so great. I thought to myself, before running up to my dorm to change, trying to rid myself of the light blush on my cheeks.
"James, what is that little slip of parchment?"
"And where are we going?" Lily asked, running down the stairs to the portrait hole where I was standing.
"Miss Evans, I am about to show you a Marauder secret that no one besides the Marauders and Mr. Filch know about. Do you solemnly swear to keep shut?"
She looked up at me, eyes shining with excitement, "I solemnly swear."
"Good, now do as I say. Place your wand on this paper and say 'I solemnly swear that I am up to no good'."
She did so and to my great happiness, gasped with delight as the entire Hogwarts grounds began appearing before her.
"Oh James. Did you make this?" She asked, looking up in awe.
"Yep. Me and the boys. Hell, even little Wormtail helped out with the drawings and all." I think she noticed the slight puffing out of my chest as I talked of my pride and joy (my friends), but chose not to point it out.
"Wow. You know, I think I might actually take back everything I said about you guys being brainless. This map is, brilliant."
"Why thank you Miss Lily. Might I ask where you would like to go for dinner?"
Her grin faded a little.
"The feast must be over by now." She said rather down.
"Have no fear, Lily. May I remind you, you are in the presence of a Marauder, and I know where to get more food than five feasts can hold."
I received the "you're kidding, right?" look in turn.
"Really! C'mon, now tell me, Hogsmeade restaurant or Hogwarts kitchens?"
"You know how to get to the Hogwarts Kitchens?" She said in wonderment, and once again I got a wave of stomach jumpies that had nothing to do with being hungry.
"Yeah, may I escort you?" I asked, holding out my arm in a gentlemanly fashion.
"Of course Sir." She giggled, taking my hand and beginning to strut with me.
We walked hand in hand for a while and for me, it was bliss. If only I knew she would never let go. I guess that she realized finally what she was doing with me and released my hand. Either that or she is paranoid of sweaty palms, which I unfortunately seemed to have at that time. But I'm guessing it was the sweaty palms, cause she continued to grin at me as we walked together in acquaintancely silence.
Is that even a word?
I looked at her for a moment and nearly jumped back in surprise. I had been so busy trying not to grab and snog her that I hadn't even noticed she what she was wearing. So when I did see it, I had to restrain myself from flying fifteen feet.
She was in pastel blue and green striped pajama bottoms and a blue tank top under a light grey sweater that said "Independent and Proud". The best thing was the fact that her hair was down. All the way down. When in class, she would always have it up, complaining it got in the way of her train of thought. But now, in a time of day where thinking wasn't really required to live, her hair was down and it looked gorgeous. It hung down in the longest of auburn tresses about an inch below her shoulders. I was so tempted to reach out and touch her soft hair. Damn, it was so hard to keep from-
"Where do you think everyone is?" She asked, looking around the next corner cautiously.
"Hogsmeade. We may see Filch but I've got something else to evade him seeing us."
"Oh really? What could that be?" She asked, red hair bouncing as she turned to look at me.
"It's another Marauder secret that I will only tell you about if we need to use it." I said, trying to ignore the twitch my hand gave as I glanced towards her red hair.
"Okay. Well the map says Filch is in his office. Why would people be in Hogsmeade?"
I squinted at her as if she was insane.
"Don't you know what day it is?"
"Valentine's Day?"
"Yeah, Valentine's Day! The biggest partying day for Hogwarts students. They go to dances, restaurants and usually don't back till the next day. Even the teachers go partying!"
"Oh. I didn't think it was that big of a deal for some people."
"It is. Especially if they have someone they just can't get enough of."
She blinked at me like an owl under a spotlight, as if I had said something to discombobulate her.
"Do people really celebrate all that much for a stupid holiday?"
I heard the quiet hurt in her voice again, but didn't try to make her feel better. If she wanted to talk, she could talk.
"Yeah, a lot of people even become engaged, get their first kiss, or get married."
"Oh." Was the reply.
I could tell her heart was telling her one thing while her mind was commanding another. We continued walking and she kept her head down for a while.
"My boycotting must look like a attention-seeking act to everyone."
She was angry now. Frustrated for refusing to see it from the other point of view. For being single-minded. She was that way about a lot of things.
"Most of the time, though there are those who would support you." I said, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder as we stopped.
"James?"
"Yes Lily?"
"Where are the bloody kitchens? I think I'm gonna die of starvation!"
"Right here." I said, bewildered at her emotional change.
She looked around frantically but couldn't find anything.
"No kidding Lily!" I said as she glared jokingly at me, "Look, see that pear up there? Tickle it."
"Why?"
"Because this will reveal the entire Hogwarts kitchens." I said coolly.
She reached up and tickled the pear, leaping back behind me when it began to giggle and squirm.
The entire Hogwarts kitchens was a indeed a sight to see. About the three quarters the size of the Great Hall, the kitchens were all white and stretched for ever, containing 35 ovens, 25 stoves and 56 blenders. (Sirius and I counted).
"Is this real?" Asked Lily, walking among the stacks of plates and dishes from the feast.
"As real as I am." I replied, taking her hand and pulling her to the center of the giant room.
"Oy! Squeakers!" I yelled, and an instant later, a house elf appeared before me, making Lily yelp and grip my hand tighter (which I really wasn't complaining about).
"Yes, Mr. Most humble and handsome Potter, how may I help you and the Missus?"
I blushed furiously as my family house elf addressed Lily so. You see, all my family and Squeakers know exactly what Lily looks like, because I talk about her non-stop every single summer. Maybe I shouldn't have told the elf that the first time he met Lily, she would be married to me. Oops.
"Is this your house elf?" Lily said, bending down to get a better look at Squeakers.
"Yeah, he's liberated though. We rescued him as a baby and he refuses to not pay his debt, so we sent him here to work at Hogwarts."
"And I am most honored to see you again Sir! And the Missus as well!" The elf replied, bowing graciously and kissing Lily's hand.
"Missus?" Lily asked absentmindedly, glancing at me.
"I'll explain later. Squeakers we need a gourmet meal cooked to perfection!"
"Any requests Sir?" Squeakers asked, signaling over three other house elves.
"Hmmmm...Lily? Why don't you do the honors?"
She grinned at me and said, "How about, a large cheese pizza with two side plates of Linguine with Pomedoro sauce, two slices of watermelon, a bottle of sparkling cider and...for dessert, a tub of vanilla ice cream and a bowl of cookie dough."
I gawked at her. For a girl who looked like a stick, she sure didn't eat like one.
"Hungry much?" I asked, laughing at her wide-eyed scan of the kitchen.
"When I say I'm starving, I mean it." She said, plopping herself down on the chair that the house-elves had magically conjured up, along with a table, place settings and two candles.
"Well, be ready to pump my stomach, because even I can't eat that much." I said, seating my self across from her.
"Oh, poor baby." She said, making a puppy eyes face at me after which I nudged her stomach with my elbow.
"So," she said, looking around the room again, "Do you come down here all of the time?"
"Only if we need to, and seeing that I am best friends with Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew, that means quite a lot."
"I see. Doesn't all this rich food weigh you down when on your broom?"
"Nope, like you've said before, what's in your head determines whether you stay up in the air or not."
She blushed, probably remembering the many horrible things she had said to me. But at the present time, I didn't want to talk about that.
"Here you are Mr. and Missus," piped up a little elf in a pink skirt with smudged hearts, "All dishes cooked to perfectness. Enjoy!"
"This looks amazing." Lily said, looking at the meal laid out before her.
"I agree. Shall we?" I said, offering to cut the pizza.
"Oh I thought you'd never ask."
"One for you and one for me." I said, passing a piece to each of us.
"Hey! My piece is smaller than yours! Not fair!"
"Is not!" I countered, though I had to admit, her piece was very small.
"Yeah right." She said, already cutting a second piece.
We bit in at the same time and both let out a sigh of pleasure as the extreme cheesiness hit our mouths.
"When I was little," she said through a mouth full of pizza, "My family used to go out for pizza at this Italian restaurant, and they would always order pepperoni, which I absolutely hated. Cheese pizza is the only kind of pizza I will ever eat, otherwise, I have to pick all of the ingredients off!"
"Me too! My mum and dad are all about olives, mushrooms, and pepperoni and I can never stand eating pizza with them!"
I really couldn't believe how much we had in common. It was as if we were made for each other, yet we were complete opposites at the same time. I didn't think this day could get any better.
"No way! My sister used to chuck her pepperoni at me and never get caught! But when I saw fit to chuck my crust at her, I always got in trouble!" She cried, nose crinkling as she giggled through a mouthful of pizza, "Do you have a sibling?"
"Nope. I'm an only child. I could count Sirius as my brother though, he moved into my house last summer after running away from home."
"Wow. How nice of your parents. Did they feel at all busy with two hormonal teenage boys to take care of?"
"Nah, they love Sirius. He could always make them laugh, not that I wasn't able to all the time, but two is always better than one."
"I have to admit, even though you guys have driven me crazy the past couple years, you and Sirius are rather funny."
This made me smile even more than I already was. She thought I was funny! Resistance to hilarity is futile against the almighty James!
"Oh My God, James you have to try this pomadoro sauce. It's amazing." She said lifting a fork up to my awaiting mouth.
I took the fork from her, my fingers lightly brushing hers in the process. I felt my face grow warm and she looked down at the floor.
"Looking for something on the ground?" I asked.
"No, just thinking," She said, shaking her head, "You know what?"
"What?" I asked, pouring myself and her a glass of sparkling cider.
"I thought this day, would be like all other Valentines Days. Protesting and then going back to my room to sleep and wait for my friends to get back from having fun without me. I'm really glad you were stalking me all day James."
I looked at her for a moment as she gave me the all-knowing eye.
"I wasn't stalking you," I said pointedly, "I was merely watching your protest and observing your technique, you know, in case I ever want to protest a holiday."
"Oh yeah? And what holiday would you protest?" She asked, picking at the hem of the peach colored table cloth.
"No idea."
She laughed and I did a mental victory dance.
"I'm so full, I don't think I'll be able to get back up to my dorm." Lily whined, leaning against me with a groan.
"Well, we've got seven hours till breakfast, so by the time you make it up there, it'll be time to come down again, Lils." I said, poking her in the stomach, making her slap my arm half-heartedly.
"Yeah well, with the amount of food I've eaten, I may just skip the next three meals. Wait, did you just say it was midnight?"
It was midnight, but it certainly didn't feel like I had been with Lily for eight hours. Time just seemed to fly as we chattered like two parrots in the Amazon rain-forest. We were now headed back to the common room, sated and nearly sick with a mixture of cheese pizza and cookie dough.
"Yeah I did say that. Why?"
"Crap!" Lily shouted, as she began pacing in front of me.
"Why, is something wrong?"
"I...ugh, this is gonna sound really stupid, but...Professor Sinatra said there was going to be a meteor shower tonight that started around ten after twelve and I wanted to see it. But I'll never make it from one end of the castle to the other without throwing up!"
A sudden idea struck me and I bent down in a crouch position, making her stare at me confusedly.
"Hop on."
"What?"
"Do you want to get to the astronomy tower or not?"
"But--"
"Carmon Lils. I didn't eat half as much as you did, so I won't throw I up. I promise."
Silence and for a minute I thought she had walked off. I couldn't see her, me facing the opposite direction, but then I heard "Here I come!" and felt a body leaping onto my back.
"Ready?" I asked, tossing her into a more comfortable position.
"Giddy-up horsier!" She screamed, cracking up when I took off in what seemed a wounded gallop.
"Lily you weigh a ton! How can we make it!"
"I don't weight that much, you are just a wimp!"
"Hey, I resent that." I huffed, carrying her up the stairs.
It was pretty much the most fun I had had in days. I must've dropped Lily at least a dozen times, but we just laughed the entire time through. She even tried to give me a piggy back ride.
"James, its your turn." She had said, hopping off of my shoulders.
I stared uneasily at her small form for a minute and then pounced on her. She staggered for a few seconds, and then began to make a crooked path down the hallway.
"You are so heavy, James. And you say I'm heavy!" She huffed.
"The weight you are feeling at the moment, my dear Lily-kins, is called buff and brawn. I happen to be a Quidditch player. Team Captain, you know."
"Oh shut up you prat." She replied, dumping me rather harshly onto the ground.
I pouted and sulked.
"Aw, does James need a hand?" She said, extending one in my direction.
"Sure." I answered innocently, though I pulled her down next to me which didn't go well at all because she fell in my lap.
"Um mm...Lily?"
She didn't respond. She was giving me the strangest look at the moment. Her eyes were all confused and she had the tiniest of smiles on her lips. It kind of looked like she had to go to the bathroom or something, but I felt that she would have said something already if that was true.
Five minutes later, we had gotten up to the stairs portion of the journey. With Lily on my back once again, I trudged up the stairs but stopped for just a moment.
"I need your position to change so you don't hit your head on the low ceiling." I said.
"Okay, but don't drop me."
I heaved her over my shoulder, ignoring her screams as I swung her into the cradle position. I almost regretted having to change her position, because her chin had moments before settled comfortably in the nook between my neck and right shoulder. Though, this wasn't bad either, for her arms instinctively fastened around my neck and I couldn't help but glance at her face to see if I could read her emotions.
Oh God, it was that look. That blank perfect look that I had never seen before. What was it? Hate? Disgust? Maybe love? No, that couldn't have been it.
It seemed that we were staring at each other for several long minutes, before she said, "We uh, better go upstairs now James."
I nodded and sauntered up the spindly staircase, trying to ignore the pair of emerald eyes set on my face. It was hard, and I couldn't help but glance over at her every few seconds, meaning I either tripped up or walked head first into a spider web.
"And...here we are." I said, shoving an ornate, wooden door open with my foot, stepping through and letting Lily down.
It was absolutely stunning out, and I definitely was glad that Professor Sinatra had said anything about a meteor shower. We stood of the parapet of the western tower, overlooking the entire school and Housemate. Before us were eons of stars, strewn across the sky like the bits of oatmeal that Sirius spit out five years ago when I had told him I liked Lily. The deep navy blue of space seemed alarmingly close at the moment. There was no moon (thank God for that, otherwise I would probably be down at the shrieking shack) and no lanterns were lit among the entire castle. I couldn't hear anything except the distant whistle of wind through the near by forest trees.
I almost forgot about the girl who I had just released from my arms. She had sprinted off to the nearest telescope and eagerly began turning the focus knobs. Even though it was hard to see in the dark, she shone like a star herself.
"James? Could you come help me work this thing?" She asked me, gesturing to a contraption I barely knew anything about.
"Sure. I've done this loads of times before." I lied, walking towards her.
She hadn't moved away from the lens, so I just wrapped my arms around her to turn the focus knob. My arms lightly grazed her bare, freckled shoulder on which the sweater had slipped off. I could have sworn she stopped breathing for a moment, looking sideways at me from the telescope.
"The shower should be starting any minute now." I said, stepping away from her bashfully.
"Yeah." She said, completely absorbed in her observations.
I stood there for a while, feeling awkward.
"Are you always this attentive?" I asked, knocking her out of her daze.
"No, I'm just really excited about this. I've never seen a meteor shower before!" She said, walking away from the telescope and to me.
"Neither have I. So, can I ask you something?"
"Yeah. Anything."
I screwed up my face, trying not to look to eager or too interested. I ran a hand through my hair, which I think she noticed only lightly. I was nervous, dammit! What's a guy to do?
"Do you plan to push people away for the rest of your life?"
Her expression both softened and hardened at the question, and she turned away from me to look over the ledge. I heard her sigh, hair spilling around her face as she dipped her head down.
"Why do you care?"
The question was childish, belonging to the mean Lily that I had to break earlier. She looked like a baby who got her lollipop taken away, like no one could understand her never ending troubles. But I wanted to understand. Couldn't she see that?
"The same reason anyone else who cares about you would."
More silence.
"Remember earlier? When I said getting hurt isn't worth it? Well, that's part of the reason and the fact that its what I came on this earth to do."
"What are you talking about?" I asked, perplexed as yet more secrets were about to be revealed about Lily.
"My grandma used to tell me that people are meant to walk in pairs. My parents, all they talk about is marrying me off to a stable husband so I can be happy. All girls talk about in my dorm is love. So, I say, damn love and rebel against nature's rules by pushing everyone away."
"But that doesn't make any sense at all Lily. You act like such a warm person, how could you possibly push everyone away?"
"I did it to you didn't I?" She asked harshly, trying to keep her eyes from watering.
"Yeah you did, and every time you did, it hurt a hell of a lot more than you are hurting right now."
She looked away, and I felt years of covered up anger boiling up in the pit of my heart.
"I doubt that."
"Do you?" I asked, grasping her hands and facing her towards me, "Do you anything about how I feel? How many nights I lay on my four poster asking myself why I fell in love with the toughest girl in the world? How many times you pulled at my heartstrings by just saying no? I'm sorry to be blunt Lily, but..." I sighed, unable to make anymore sense of my emotions. That was a deep as I could go. Most of it, I had rehearsed in my mind before, though I never imagined that I would feel this...raw after finishing it.
I knew I shouldn't have said it. From the minute it came out I regretted it. She hadn't stopped staring at me, even when the reluctant tears started to flow. She bit her lip and choked back a sob.
"I'm so sorry."
I didn't say anything, because there was nothing left to say.
"I'm not asking you to forgive me either," she continued bravely, her voice watery and sad, "I just want you to know that I am sorry. And I know this sounds corny but, I had no idea how much I was hurting you. And I--- I now realize that I would never hurt you. In nine hours, you've become one of my best friends and I was so stupid not to take your offer of friendship up sooner. I--"
She broke off and buried her face in her hands. Without thinking, I rushed forward and gathered her in my arms, holding her to my chest. She gripped my shirt and cried quietly, almost shamefully. We stood there for what seemed a very long time. Finally she rose with a sniff, eyes only slightly red and puffy, considering the amount of crying she just did.
"I forgive you." I said, looking at her earnestly. Her eyes began shining with something other than tears. She looked at me as if those words were all she needed to feel better.
"Thank you." She said in a quiet, shaky voice, embracing me in a bear hug and not letting go for several seconds.
When we let go, a brilliant streak of light filled the sky.
"Oh look, a meteor." I said, looking around dreamily, still experiencing the aftermath of a Lily Evans hug. Lily, oddly enough, just continued to stare at me thoughtfully, not even noticing the shooting stars everywhere around us.
I turned to look at her, about to ask why she wasn't excited, but instead she spoke.
"I won't run."
Huh? I really was getting confused. I scratched my head.
"You said earlier that you would tell me why you chased me all those years if I promised not to run away from what you said. Well, I won't."
A grin spread across my face, bigger and wider than the Black Lake. She was smiling back at me. And I had absolutely no idea why.
"Why, you ask?" I asked, stepping towards her and brushing a tear off her cheek with my thumb.
"Yeah. I've gone this whole evening thinking you were gonna hit on me or drug and kiss me, but you didn't do anything. I know you are trust-able, even in all your ego-maniacal craziness."
She wasn't shy anymore. This was the real Lily Evans. The one that blossomed under any kind of light. The one that I had fallen in love with first.
"Do you really want to know why I persevered you all these years Lily?"
"With all my heart." The statement came so suddenly and true that I almost died of a coronary right then and there.
I took a deep breath, because I knew I would be rambling for quite a while.
"Lily...you...are...amazing. Everything about you gives off this feeling that you can do anything. You are kind-hearted at just the right moments and steely hard at all the rest. You never ever get anything that matters wrong. You never forget your friends' birthdays. You are talented beyond belief and half the time I ask myself why I even bother trying to study to get the highest grade on a test because I know you'll beat me. I can always count on you to make me smile just by walking into the room. Even when you slapped me or glared me, my stomach got a bubbly sensation. You're a fighter, one of the toughest people I've ever met, this including boys. You are unpredictable, one can never tell whether you will handle a situation rationally with a smile or forcefully with a punch. On top of all this, you are the most damn gorgeous girl I've ever seen, and I've never even kissed you! You could be a horrible kisser for all I know, but I would still love you!"
I began using frantic hand gestures, trying to make her understand my undying love. She probably thought I looked like a compete idiot. I ran my hand through my hair several times, and paced back and forth. She just stood there, listening and drinking in every word as if she was dying of thirst. I continued.
"I love your toes and how they curl towards the floor. I love how you are studying frantically for O.W.L.S. and they are three months away! I love how you never show your emotions unless you are with your friends and I love how you've never given me the time of day for five years now!"
The rambling was almost over. I stood there gasping for breath that I had barely used while speaking, while Lily just stared at me blankly. She was so close to me that I could count her freckles and the indentations on her oh-so-kissable lips. But I had to control myself because I hadn't finished my speech.
"I love you Lily Evans."
I hung my head, knowing any minute now she was going to run, even though she promised she wouldn't. I felt a hand on my cheek, guiding my face upward to look at her.
She was beaming at me. Just smiling like she had never smiled before. It lit up the whole astronomy tower, that smile. I didn't even know what there was to smile at. Maybe she was thinking of some evil diabolical way to kill me.
"Oh, to hell with fighting society." She said, throwing her hands up in the air, "I love you too James Potter."
Oh...
"You love me?" I asked, mentally smacking myself for the stupid unnecessary question.
"Mayhem," she said, wrapping her arms around my neck and touching her perfect nose to mine,"As you once asked me, 'Who could possibly not love you, such a smart, adorable, talented and incredibly sexy James Potter'."
I really couldn't believe my luck at the moment, I actually felt inclined to ask if this was a dream, but I held my tongue.
"Okay." I said, rather stupidly, putting my arms on her waist and pulling her closer (if that was even possible without kissing her).
She laughed lightly, warm breath meeting my face.
"You're not very bright are you?" She asked, eyes shining with that mystery emotion again, and I suddenly realized what it was.
Love.
Before I could ask her about it, or register the insult in the question, her lips came up to mine.
I would have screamed, if I hadn't start kissing her back. I was slow and cautious at first, keeping the kiss innocent and sweet. I caressed every part of her body that I had been dreaming about for five years now, one hand on the small of her back and the other supporting her head. Her hands worked their way up from my face to to my head, where they began running eagerly through my hair.
I got the feeling that she had been wanting this as much as I had.
The kiss was...perfection. It was pristine and pure and I would have traded anything away to have it again. I don't even know how long it lasted, but I can tell you that the meteor shower continued, long forgotten.
Eventually we did stop, needing some oxygen, though I would gladly have suffocated if it meant kissing Lily more.
"So...friends?" She said, extending her hand as I tried to fix my messed up hair.
"Of course." I said, pressing the hand to my lips, making her close her eyes in bliss.
"We should probably get back to the dorms so our friends don't get worried." She whispered breathlessly, pressing her forehead to mine.
"Okay." I said, though I think we both knew that our friends would not be back till tomorrow.
We did get back to the dorms eventually, though we liked finding excuses to take our own sweet time. I think we ended up getting back at around...three 'o clock in the morning? Okay, so maybe we took two hours getting back, but let me just say that being with (and maybe kissing) the girl of your dreams is impossible to say no to, especially when she initiates it. Not like I didn't initiate anything, because mind you, I couldn't help but kiss her squeeze her hand every time those green eyes looked up at me as we walked.
"Cupid." I said sleepily to the Fat Lady as Lily yawned hugely beside me.
The portrait swung open once the Fat Lady yelled at us, and we walked down towards the stairs.
"I really don't think I'll be able to make it up there." Lily said, squeezing my hand.
"Fear not, maiden, we will sleep here." I said, sweeping Lily off her feet onto the couch, and seating myself beside her.
"You know what? I think I actually like Valentine's Day now." She said, curling up next to me and snuggling into my shirt.
"Glad to know that, but next year, we'll totally kick this holiday's ass by boycotting the hell out of it, alright?"
No answer.
I looked down and there was Lily, sound asleep on my shoulder. I wrapped an arm around her and sighed.
"I love you Lily."I sad, drifting off as I said so.
But I could swear I did hear the mumbled, "I love you too", as I fell asleep.
I was awake, but not opening my eyes, not wanting to know that I was dreaming. I didn't want the best day I've ever experienced to be only in my head.
After ten minutes of tension, I opened my eyes, knowing it was a dream and I never kissed Lily Evans. It was just a dream.
I looked down.
It wasn't.
A/N: Okay, so to me, this took a super oober long time to write so I would really appreciate it if you people would drop off some reviews. Please? A thousand thanks to my beta-er for this story, Zayz. I really think this story is the best I've written so far, even though for me, it still isn't perfect. Read and Review.