Okay, so I got this idea from...well...a lot of things. I'm surprised no one has done it before, but I could be wrong and just never read one like it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this and if you laugh, I've done my job.
Disclaimer: If I owned Fairy Tail, I wouldn't be on Fanfic. But, regardless, I own diddly squiddly and this was provided for amusement.
"Wanna' say that again, hothead?'
"You heard me, stripper!"
"I don't believe I did, ash for brains!"
"Well, ice pick, I guess you're weak and deaf!"
"Squinty eyes!"
"Droopy eyes!"
Three…two…one…
Crash!
There was a collective sigh that ran throughout Fairy Tail. Natsu and Gray were fighting again. Natsu scorched a table as Gray froze Jet and Droy in the crossfire.
"Bitch!"
"Jerk!"
A stool was thrown in the heat of battle. No one saw who had thrown it but the projectile happened to hit an innocent piece of strawberry cake; which happened to belong to a not-so-innocent Erza. And Erza happens to adore strawberry cake. Erza was already out of her seat with a huge anger vein throbbing on her forehead as the cake hit the floor. She strode toward the guild's two biggest bookworms, who were reading at the bar. Lucy and Levy looked at the armored woman with matching expressions of fear and curiosity.
"May I borrow your books?" Erza asked with an evil aura surrounding her. The two friends handed her their novels with no questions asked. When confronted by a person with a murderous aura like Erza, you give her what she wants, no questions asked. Erza analyzed the two bickering mages' positions, took aim, and ninja starred the books at them. Natsu and Gray, whom were just about to clash in some overly dramatic way, were hit in the face by two thick novels and sent flying. The fire and ice mage were up hugging with huge, fake smiles on their faces so fast that the double-take the rest of the guild did gave them whiplash.
"W-we weren't fighting, Erza." Gray clarified, practically vibrating in fear. "We'd n-never do that. We're best f-friends!" Gray mentally heaved at the word.
"A-aye!" Natsu agreed, feeling as cold as the "ice pack" next to him. "Best buds!" Their grins grew throughout the confrontation until they looked like the Joker.
What the hell? Lucy thought for the umpteenth time. They sure change attitudes fast. Erza turned and stalked back to the bar to order more cake. It appeared she forgave them…for now. The dragon slayer and ice mage broke apart with a look of pure disgust at the other. They sighed as their fear of the knightly woman dissolved. Natsu began to fix his scarf that had apparently become askew while Gray put on the clothes he had somehow shed during the fight. After he was fully clothed, Gray went over and sat at the bar where Mirajane was waiting with drinks. Natsu came and sat at the bar as well and immediately received a drink.
That stupid firework! Gray angrily thought as he sipped his drink. I'm gonna' get him back if it's the last thing I do! As Gray glowered at an oblivious Natus, his eyes fell on the dragon slayer's precious scarf. The light bulb above Gray's head was bright enough to turn a few heads of his fellow guild members.
The Next Day
As the sun rose and its golden light brightened the dark sky, brilliant rays filtered into a certain pink haired mage's apartment. Natsu (who was at his own house for once) rubbed his tired eyes as he sat up in bed. He shook the still snoring blue cat awake and stretched, without bothering to stifle a loud yawn.
"G'morning, Happy." Natsu tiredly greeted the sleepy cat.
"Aye…" Came the groggy cat's reply. The feline's eyes followed the fire mage as Natsu got up and headed for the kitchen. Something's different. Something's…off. Happy studied his best friend thinking that something was weird about him put unable to put his paw on it. While Happy contemplated what was missing, Natsu ransacked the kitchen for food. All he found, was a moldy sandwich, some milk that was a month past expiration, and some concoction that Natsu swore was watching him. Happy brushed off his unease in exchange for hunger. The exceed looked at the grotesque objects (they were no longer food) and gagged.
"Wanna' go raid Lucy's 'fridge?"
"Aye!"
Natsu and Happy walked together to the stellar spirit mage's apartment with growling stomachs. Upon their eccentric arrival through Lucy's window, Lucy suppressed a groan and handed them the eggs she had prepared for them (her excellent foresight knew they would come). Natsu divided the eggs in half for Happy and set his portion on fire. The friends ate in comfortable silence until Lucy voiced her confusion on Natsu's appearance.
"Natsu," she continued when he gave her his attention. "where's your scarf?"
"What?" Natsu cocked his head, not comprehending. "What are you talking about?" Lucy motioned to her neck.
"Your scarf is gone." Natsu looked down and felt his neck.
"…"
"…"
"WHAT?" Lucy immediately regretted her observation. The minute Natsu heard her proclamation; he was out of his seat and tearing apart her apartment. By the time he was done, everything was either destroyed or messed up. Lucy's face paled before it turned a deep, angry red.
"Natsu, you stupid pyro! Why would your scarf be here if you didn't even have it when you came in?"
"Oh…sorry, Luce." Even though he apologized, Lucy could tell he didn't mean it. Natsu and Happy departed before they could experience the blonde's wrath.
At the Guild
Gray smirked to himself in a way that you would've thought that he had won the lottery. The night before, Gray had snuck into Natsu's home and had stolen the flame mage's sentimental muffler. Today was the day that Gray was finally going to beat Natsu for good. When he heard the doors burst open, Gray had to squelch the urge to laugh out loud. Gray turned and, low-and-behold, Natsu, Happy, and a very pissed Lucy entered the guild.
"I can't believe you!" Lucy shrieked which made some people cover their ears. "You practically destroyed my apartment looking for that stupid neck accessory!"
"Yeah, and it wasn't even there." Natsu grumbled back. Lucy grinded her teeth and walked away. She'd get him back later for turning her apartment into what looked like a battlefield.
"If anyone has seen Natsu's scarf, please contact us immediately!" Happy announced. "It looks like this!" Happy then held up a crudely drawn picture of the dragon slayer's muffler. It was pretty much three rectangles attached at odd angles. "If you return it now, no questions will be asked."
"Yeah, and I'll only beat you half to death!" Natsu added. Gray let out a loud snort.
"Only half to death? What a deal!" Gray scratched his chin. "I suppose I could return it…" Natsu's eyes bulged as the ice mage held up the familiar white scarf. Gray sadistically grinned, as he saw the fire mage grit his teeth. "This thing smells like crap."
"I changed my mind. I'm gonna' beat the shit out of you!" Natsu growled as he flung himself at the ice mage.
"Fire Dragon's Roar!"
"Ice Make: Shield!" Gray defended himself for a few seconds but the flame was too hot and melted the ice. Natsu tackled the slightly regretful Gray and the scarf flew out of Gray's hands. The muffler happened to land near a certain iron mage; who also, coincidentally, liked to torture the fire mage as well. Gazille grabbed the scarf and smirked.
"I think I'll play, too." The iron dragon slayer bolted out of the guild, scarf in tow. Natsu screamed in anguish before pursuing the other dragon slayer. The rest of the guild followed the dragon slayers, not wanting to miss a second of the chase. Gazille bolted down the streets with a maniacal look on his face. He was closely followed by an utterly pissed Natsu and the rest of Fairy Tail. "What's wrong, Natsu? Don't you want your gay scarf back?" Gazille laughed. That only enraged an already seething Natsu even more. The pink-haired mage had an aura of menace that made Erza's seem like a happy cloud. "Oh, shi-"
"GAZILLE! The fire mage began to close in on the iron mage. In a spur of quick-thinking, Gazille climbed onto a building and began running back toward the guild. Suddenly, the iron dragon slayer hatched an idea.
"Yo!" Gazille shouted down below into the crowd of confused Fairy Tail mages. Natsu skidded to a halt, confused. "Catch, Bookworm!" He threw the scarf down and into the hands of Levy. Surprised, she caught it. "Now, run like hell!" An evil smile flitted across the scripture mage's face.
"Gotcha'!" Levy dashed off into a completely different direction. Natsu growled before pursuing the blue-haired mage. Everyone in the guild smirked with all of them thinking about how much fun it would be to mess with their pink-haired nakama. The guild trailed the destructive Natsu and shouted support to Levy. But, after a few minutes, Natsu shot fire and sent the petite girl sprawling. The muffler flew out of Levy's hands, past Natsu, and into the crowd of Fairy Tail mages. The closest mage was everyone's favorite celestial mage. Natsu stopped and let out a sigh of relief.
"Thanks, Luce. I owe you one." Lucy looked at the scarf and then back at her friend. A wicked smirk formed on the blonde's face and she turned around and sprinted away from the fire mage. Various mages cheered as Natsu groaned and took up the chase.
"That's for messing up my apartment, jackass!" Lucy shouted back to him. The redeemed mage continued her sprint opposite of where Levy was heading before. The muffler was continuously passed among the guild members. After Natsu caught up with Lucy, it went to Wendy, then Erza, then Evergreen, Elfman, Lisanna, and Makarov. Makarov, however, made the mistake of growing (thinking Natsu wouldn't be able to reach it) only to have it snatched by the flying blue cat. Natsu almost shed tears of joy when his best friend grabbed it. Still flying high, Happy dropped the scarf above the cheering Natsu. The rest of the guild groaned due to the end of their game as Natsu reached up to grab his favorite article of clothing, now a measly ten feet away.
"Open, Gate of the Lion. Leo!" And that's when a certain Stellar Spirit heroically leapt in the air and grabbed the muffler. Loki darted away from Natsu, whom was gaping like a fish (Happy drooled a little). Natsu's roar of rage could be heard all throughout Magnolia as well as the rest of Fiore.
"Loki, I'm going to kill you!" Guild mates celebrated the revival of the ongoing game of keep away and followed Natsu and Loki. As Natsu chased the spirit, Juvia, sensing Loki's time to leave was near, stole the muffler and ran back towards the guild. Natsu continued to chase air for a few seconds before howling and doing a one-eighty after Juvia.
"Gray-sama! Juvia has brought you his scarf!" Juvia blushed as Gray caught up with her.
"Thanks." As Gray accepted the scarf, Juvia proceeded to melt into a happy puddle. Gray entered the guild with a face-splitting grin. When he was inside, he turned expectantly toward the guild doors. Natsu flew in with an aura of flames and the impending battle ensued. Gray knew that Natsu would be angry, but not that angry.
Later That Day
Gray sat at the bar in silence, quietly reflecting his earlier mistake. The ice mage was in his boxers (no surprise) and burnt extra-crispy from his fight with Natsu. The guild (what was left of it, anyway) was coated in ash with people solemnly fixing things up. The consequence for angering a dragon slayer was great and people were stuck rebuilding and cleaning. Said dragon slayer was happily eating baked Alaska with his cat and a huge smile on his face. Gray glowered at Natsu as Mirajane set a glass of water in front of him.
"It's your own fault, you know."
"…"
Mirajane sighed. "You know what they say, play with fire and-"
"Don't even say it!"
Natsu, upon hearing this, merrily chimed in, "You're gonna' get burned!"
Sorry if it was bad. I'm not a very good writer. Anywho, review or favorite (I don't care) and tell me your opinions. Oh, and if you're a Bleach fan with an OC, check out my advertisement on my profile. Have a nice day *smile*.