My first Avengers fiction – I'm a little nervous...
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Anything. I'm actually typing this (somehow on a computer) whilst sitting in my cardboard box home...nice and cozy. But no seriously, I don't own the Avengers (dayum).
10 Things the Avengers didn't know about Clint Barton:
has a tattoo.
[Hawkeye, what are you doing?] The comm buzzed in Clint's ear. Tony was growling on the other end.
[Uhh. Killing the enemy? What am I meant to do – placate him?] The sweet yet condescending voice was still clear over the comm, [It's OK, darling. It's not your fault you're a hideous lizard-like beast that is generally feared by many populations. It's OK that you have eaten people alive – we are actually quite accepting these days.]
[Oh shut up,] Tony said back. [I meant why are you riding on the back of one of them? If you wanted a lift, you should have just asked.]
[What part of trying to kill the enemy here are we not understanding?] Clint growled. He pulled a dagger from his belt and plunged it into the next of the beast.
It collapsed under him but the momentum kept Hawkeye moving. He flew forwards and rolled across the gravel. As Hawkeye hissed as he skid along the ground, effectively tearing up his arms and face Steve spoke up. [What's happening? Who's hurt?] Motherhenning as usual, Hawkeye took a few moments before replying. [Me. Uhh-Clint. I'm OK, I'm OK.]
[Huh. I hate those times where you get hurt because you don't have a suit of armour on – oh wait... I'm Iron Man. I really think you should invest in some protection Clint. You OK?] Tony's concern for the archer seeped through – no matter how hard he tried to joke.
[Yeah, I'm fine.] His voice strained at the end as he went to stand up and put his weight on his right leg. Hawkeye found that his leg just wasn't cooperating. He found himself on the ground again, hands digging in shards of glass as he stopped himself from hitting his face on the gravel. He slowly stood up, putting all his weight onto his left leg. He looked around.
[You know, I could do with a lift now.] He was surrounded.
[Righto, Cupid.] Tony replied. [I'll be there once I've finished off these lizard-things over here.]
[No seriously.] There were lizards flanking him, slowly creeping forward. Hawkeye had taken down one of their own, but they could smell the blood on him.
[God, aren't you impatient. I'm trying as hard as I can but it might take a while!]
[They're going to eat me. I don't want to be eaten by a bunch of stupid science experiments, surprisingly; it's not a dignified death. Get your metal arse down here!]
[I shall come, Barton. Man of Iron is preoccupied,] a voice boomed down the intercom. They never had taught Thor the idea that he didn't need to shout into the microphone.
Just as the lizards were getting way too close for comfort, Thor thundered down beside him.
The god gave a mighty cry, before grabbing Clint around the waist, (much to his discomfort) and swung his axe up into the air. Just as they were leaving the ground, one of the beasts leapt up and sunk its teeth into Clint's leg.
"Ahh. Son of a bitch! Get off me!" He kicked out with his other leg, but the beast simply swung its scaly leg up and snagged that too.
Thor couldn't help, so Clint looked down and hissed at it. The thing looked surprised for a second, enough time for Clint to swing down and smash it in the face with his fist.
It let go with a strange yelp, and plummeted to the ground.
However, the movement caused Thor to lose his already weak grip on Clint. He slid a few inches, then another few down. Thor aimed for the nearest building that he could land on. Just before he reached the building, Clint slipped through Thor's arms and sped downwards. Yelling, he reached out towards the edge of the tower and slammed into the side. He felt his ribs crack, and the breath knocked out of him.
His legs dangling off the side of the building, all Clint could do was hang on for dear life. Thor, having landed on the top of the building, reached over and hauled him up. Once he was sitting safely away from the edge, he focused on trying to breath. It felt like his lungs had been filled with water. He couldn't get a single breath in. Thor, seeing his difficulty, smacked him on the back. Clint gasped as his ribs were assaulted again, and without thinking, he turned and elbowed Thor in the nose. The twist only made his ribs feel even worse.
He groaned and lay down – which also hurt, he knew, but at least he could just lie down.
Thor, clutching his broken nose, looked at him angrily. "What was that for?"
It was heard through the intercom as well. [What's going on?] Steve asked through the intercom. [Thor, you OK?] Always the worrier, Steve continued to question, until he got answers.
"Hawkeye just elbowed me in the nose! I did nothing to provoke him!"
"You hit me in the back." Clint, now having regained his breath wheezed.
[I think we've cleaned up down here. Where are you?]
"On a building," Thor, still angry snapped back.
[Northwood Bank, East of the Claremont train station...twenty...third street, I think.] Clint finalised.
[How do you know that?] Tony asked, curious.
[I've used this snipe point before.] A cough could be heard through the intercom, before a weak growl followed, [So help me, if you hit me on the back again, I will end you. Or better yet, I'll smite you. An ending fit for a God.]
Thor, having regained his composure, and who held grudges as long as goldfish, could be heard after. [You are hurt? I'm sorry, brother, I didn't know! What's wrong? Should I fly you to a man of medicine?]
Tony caught on to this – [You're hurt? You little liar! You said you were fine.]
[I am fine. I'm fine. I just bruised by back a little. It's nothing] Clint insisted to both Tony and Thor.
[Clint?] Natasha's voice was quiet but clear. [Clint? You're hurt? What happened? Are you OK?]
It was Steve (after joining the conversation) that replied. [He bruised his back. You OK Clint? And Thor, seeing as you claim he broke your nose?]
Clint heard echoes as Thor boomed through the comm and a few metres away. [My nose is fine. It shall heal. How can I help Barton?]
[Oh for fuck's sake – I'm fine!]
[Shut up Clint.]
[We're on the way.]
[But, seriously -]
[I can see you. I'm about to land, can you clear back a little?]
[No!]
[OK, I'll just land on-]
"Oof!"
[-Thor. You OK, buddy?]
[Get off me.]
[OK, OK, easy there.] Then to Clint, still through the comm, [What's wrong with the ol' back then?]
[I was thrown into a building.] Clint replied, for some reason sheepish.
[Backwards?]
[...No?]
[Then it'll be your ribs surely.] Tony clarified.
[...Maybe.]
[They hurt don't they?]
[...No?]
[Liar. Come on, take off your shirt.]
[What? I don't – I don't really swing that way, man.] Clint scooted backwards and winced.
[Ah-HA. You are hurt. Come on, I'll take it easy on you. It's obviously your first time.]
[Tony? What-what] Clint could be heard spluttering through the comm. [Ahh! Fine, fine I'll do it.]
[What happened?] Steve asked.
[I pointed my canon at him.] At this, Natasha could be heard sniggering through the comm. [No...no, my gun. My firing thing? Fires projectiles- oh for God sake Natasha you know what I mean.] At this Natasha was openly laughing.
[I am confused. What is so funny about threatening Barton with a weapon to get him to oblige?]
At this point, there was no stopping Natasha. She could be heard practically choking with laughter down the comm.
[How are you feeling, Clint?] Steve, ever the leader, asked the archer.
[I'm fine. Tony's just making sure I haven't broken anything. Which I haven't.]
[Which you have. From what I can tell, there are at least two broken ribs here. Maybe a broken ankle. If it's not broken, then -]
Natasha stopped laughing, finally, to ask Tony why he stopped.
Tony addressed Clint however. [You have a tattoo? C-C-O-T-W? What's that stand for?]
Clint could be heard coughing awkwardly. [Carson's Carnival of Travelling Wonders.]
[Like...a circus?]
[You haven't read my file, clearly.]
[Didn't have the..time.]
[Whatever. I – uh – worked for a circus when I was younger. I learnt to shoot there.]
[Why'd you leave?] Steve asked.
[It wasn't exactly the best place to be.] Natasha snorted.
[Why do you have a tattoo for it then?] Tony asked.
[It was compulsory.]
[Really?]
[Really.]
[Huh.] Steve said down the line.
[I can't believe you haven't read his file. Does anyone read the homework we get?] Natasha said.
[I do. Just the interesting ones though. Sorry Clint. Does it pull in the ladies Clint? A mysterious tattoo?]
[If I show it to them, yes. But why would I be ripping my shirt off anyway? I didn't even want to get it. Stop talking about it.]
After a brief talk, before a helicarrier picked up Steve, Natasha and Bruce, Tony declared: [We'll go to shawarma after this, yes? Then Clint can take his shirt off and show everyone his awesome tattoo.]
[Shut up Tony. I'm not showing anyone that stupid tattoo. It was compulsory.]
The last thing everyone heard over their comms was Tony taunting Clint: [I still can't believe you were in a circus! You know, I think I went to your performance once. You were that ape dressed in a tutu on a unicycle right? Or were you the guy that would taunt the tigers? No! You were the four-eyed, 7-foot tall-]
The others just couldn't bear to listen to him anymore. Even Clint yanked out his earpiece and blocked his ears.