Epic Rap Battles: Tim Taylor vs. Red Foreman
Summary: Two TV dads with different lives but a love for tools go head to head as Tim 'The Tool Man' Taylor collides with Red Foreman in a Rap Battle.
Epic!
Rap Battles of History!
Tim Taylor!
Vs.!
Red Foreman!
Begin!
Tim Taylor:
"I am Tim 'The Tool Man' Taylor and welcome to tonight's show.
And watch as I drill this angry bald man with my powered rhymes and flow.
Man you're such a mean prick, it's no wonder only Bob wants to be your friend!
You're just a grouchy version of Wilson, who only condescends!
It's interesting how out of your two loser kids you favor the slut!
While you always yell at the one who is simply a Star Wars nut!"
Red Foreman:
"Parenting? Looking at it from here I'm a better dad than you.
You've got a Goth, an idiot jock, and one who couldn't wait to start anew.
I'm as tough as they come! I've fought through two wars!
You're just a grunting man who gets injured by simple doors!
In your dumbass show you always give the tools 'More Power!'
Are you compensating for something? You little pansy flower!"
Tim Taylor:
"Pardon me? But your rhymes are way too dull!
I was sitting here and wondering whether you'd get out of your jobless lull!
With things always going wrong in your life you cannot possibly cope!
Like the fact that your basement has kids who are always smoking dope!
My wife is always with me when I decide to go full throttle!
Your wife is a menopausal freak, who is always holding a bottle!"
Red Foreman:
"If you ever talk about my wife like that again, you better run fast!
Or I'll show you my army training and put my foot up your ass!
You've screwed up a lot, and I've kill japs with my bare hand!
People who watch your show only watch because of the girls and Al Borland!
My raps were so good that I'm the one who tore down the house!
You'd better get over here 'Tool GIRL' and put on your pretty blouse!"
Who Won!?
Who's Next!?
You Decide.
Epic!
(Chainsaw noises)
Rap Battles of History!
AN: I would like to thank TacoReaper again, for helping me with another rap battle.
I thought the last rap battle would be the only one that I would do, but I knew I had to do one that involves Red Foreman.
I may or may not do another rap battle with a That 70's Show character, but I would need some suggestions.
Please don't hate me if this rap battle sucked, but when you are chilling around on a Sunday night this is what you come up with.