AN/ Hello, faithful readers who make me happy! If you make me sad, just go away, NOW! This fic is just something I came up with, its a little angsty and a little fluffy and really has nothing to do with anything. As usual it could be interconnected with my other fics , but reading that other crap is not required. It's pre slash, because as much as we'd all like them to just jump in bed, there is far too much angst for that, unless it's angry sex. ::drools:: As much as I wish I owned just a small part of the Potterverse , Merlin knows I could use the money, it all belongs to you know who, not that I got anything to sue for. Kay? Got it? I no own this! Yeah, that's enough from me and my sleep deprived self listen to Draco and I'll see you at the bottom.
He's not eating again. He's far too thin to spend another meal pushing the food around on his plate, and it worries me. I find myself worried about him often as of late: the once bronze skin has paled considerably, his balls to the wall attitude transformed into a timid, indifferent one, and the dark circles under the listless green eyes; his eyes scare me the most, they'd always held such fire, I could have spent a life time staring into those eyes and now they are gone, gone like so much in my life.
"You're watching him again, Draco." Blaise Zabini whispers beside me.
I shake my head attempting to rid myself of my worry over Harry Potter. It's silly really, he barley knows I exist now, after Voldy, I guess a school boy rival doesn't really measure up. In truth I've ignored him too; Malfoy or not, fighting with 'The Savior' would hardly improve my standing. I return to my own scarcely touched meal. 'Suppose I shouldn't fault him on skipping meals.' I think before pushing my own food away. Pansy pushes it back in front of me.
"Just because his friends don't make him eat, doesn't mean yours will let you get away with it." She scolds gently
Blaise chuckles as I tuck back into the meal with a sigh. He gets half hearted glares from both of us, and he just laughs harder; sobering his own gaze wonders down to the object of my angst.
"He does look sort of awful, yeah?" Blaise asks after awhile.
"That's not our problem." Pansy states simply. I can see through the lie, when she glances down the table herself. She sighs "Really, how don't they see that he's struggling? What is this 3rd meal this week, and it's only Wednesday?' She asks with a huff.
I nod, feeling free to return my gaze to the boy, who's now pushed his plate away completely. He says something to his friends; I catch the word 'walk' from my distance. They hardly acknowledge that he's spoken, caught up in their own conversation, and the other 2/3 of the golden trio are lost in their newly found love game. He catches my eyes for a moment, and glancing and the other two Slytherin 8th years still watching him. He smiles sadly, shaking his head, the action confuses me, and Pansy small shrug confuse me more. I raise my eyebrow at her, after Harry turns away.
She smiles and shrugs at me, "He was amused that only the Slytherins, noticed him leaving."
"How did you get that?' Blaise demands.
The girl just smirked at us, "You should follow him Draco, and you're never going to open him up around the lions."
I gape at her; she's got to be kidding accused Death Eater Draco Malfoy, go talk to the golden boy alone? He'll hex me before I can say anything On second thought, if I he gets angry, maybe I won't feel so…worried, if I can prove to myself he's still alive.
"I dare you" Blaise taunts.
"Fine, but if he hexes me, I'll AK you both" I shoot back at them I can hear them both laugh at the empty threat as I walk away.
I find Harry by the lake, it seems like the most cliché place I could think of, so it's the first place I check, and my next guess would have been the astronomy tower. I stand behind an over grown tree for awhile simply watching again. He sits on a rather large, flat rock, knees pulled to his chest smoking a cigarette. Smoking? I defiantly had not seen that coming. 'Perhaps we had a common bound after all' I think briefly before his soft voice breaks the night air.
"What do you want Draco?" He asks, his voice is as dead as his eyes and it sends a chill up my spine.
"Errm-How-you called me Draco?" I sputter "Merlin, I can't even talk to him! What the bloody fuck was I thinking stupid stupid stupid" I rant internally. Until a soft empty laugh, breaks my tirade.
"It's your name isn't it, if you rather I go back to Malfoy.." He trails off
"No!" I practically shout at him. What is wrong with me? I feel like the roles have been flipped when did he get so, sly? How the fuck dose he turn me in to an idiot? I take a deep breath "I mean Draco is fine, Harry" His name comes out like a question. 'Ugh why is this so hard' I think as I fidget under his gaze. He gives me an almost real smile, apparently watching me struggle is amusing to him; I can't find it in me to chastise him.
"You want a cigarette?" He asks wiggling a pack of Marlboro menthols at me.
I simply nod, and walk toward him. Neither of us speak while I, take a cigarette from the pack, light it, and join him on the rock. He seems content to just sit there silently, lighting another cigarette of his own, moments after flicking the first into the lake. The awkwardness of the whole situation drives makes my skin itch until I finally break the silence.
"Chain smokes much?" I ask amazed I can keep a condescending tone out of my voice, I'm really trying here, but awkwardness has always made me act like a prat.
"Yeah, well I don't get a chance to smoke much, got to stock up on the nicotine yeah? Not everybody has friends that let them smoke in their rooms." He replies, the small smile is back, something about the light teasing seems to awaken him and I revel in it for a moment.
"How do you know I smoke?" I ask. " I'd though the charms Blaise and I had used would have covered it up."
"Consent vigilance" He says with a dark laugh, the pain in it is almost tangible, I know he's thinking of Mad-eye, whether the imposter, or the real man I don't know. I suppose both could cause the broken look that crosses his face. He shakes his head, a gesture I know myself very well, it seems to work as the soft smile returns. "You're pants at charms Draco; anyone that has ever smoked has a fit when they walk past your room or in the hall." Harry outright laughed then. "I swear Seamus is going to sniff you to death one day. Ron's a real prat about it, gets all bitchie if we smoke in the room-says the smell gives him a headache." Harry rolled his eyes "I'm just good at the freshen up charm, so he hasn't even caught on that I smoke yet. Not a fight I'm looking forward to." Harry shakes his head, again "Don't see why it should bug him so much, but it will."
"He hasn't reported us yet?" I ask, "I mean if the smoke bothers him-and I mean it's me and Blaise…" I trail off
Harry just shook his head and gave me an almost smirk "No, I do the charm every time, I walk by your room. "
We are quite for awhile then as we both finish smoking, both lost in our own thoughts. I find myself watching him again. I can't take it, despite the light talk and the almost smiles I'm still worried about him, he looks like shit and his attitude tells me the same thing.
"We should-"He starts hoping off the rock.
"Harry are you okay?" I blurt out before I can stop myself.
He cocks his head a bit, staring at me curiously "What?"
"Are you okay?" I repeat. "I mean you kind of look awful, and you're so quiet and you're smoking and we're not fighting and you look so sad all the time." I rant
He bites his lip, and doesn't meet my eye as he shuffles his feet. I growl in my mind everything had been so good, it was almost like we were friends and now I've gone and made him-
"No, Draco I don't think I am, but I'm working on it." His voice is so quite I would have missed it if not staring at him so closely.
I'm shocked at his honesty. When he glances back up at me it makes my heart ache, it makes me want to take him in my arms, to write sad poetry comparing his sadness to broken wings or something equally sappy. Mostly, I just wanted to make it go away, make the smile come back. I'm lost in my own thoughts and I miss his reply question.
"Draco." He says a little more forcibly.
"Huh" I ask startled by the tone
"I said, are you?" His voice almost sounds accusing now, like he's daring me to say yes.
I could have lied. He would have seen through it and that would probably be it for this little moment of ours. We could go back to just ignoring each other, graduated Hogwarts and only seen each other in passing, perhaps sharing a nod of understanding on platform 9 ¾ when we send our own kids off to Hogwarts, but I couldn't. I've wanted to be his friend since I was 11 years old, and this, this was my chance.
"No." I say with a sigh "I don't think anyone is really, yeah?"
Harry shrugged "Maybe not."
"Maybe, we could, get there together?" I try; inside the little prat from the train is begging "Please say yes please be my friend"
He considers me for a long time, before finally nodding "Yeah, okay Draco."
"So friends then?" I ask hopefully
"Yeah, If you want, I mean….Draco it's not going to be easy you and me being friends." He says nervously. I smile as the roles are flipped from the start of this meeting.
"Scared, Potter?" I ask, unlike second year it's not a threat.
He smiles again making my own smile grow, "You wish."
Smiling we both head back to the castle, both feeling a bit lighter, with a new friend to carry the burden.
AN /Well that's it for now, I could go on and on about everything Draco and Harry have to go through ,because you know, it can't be all sunshine and butterflies for them, oh so much angst in my twisted little mind, but those are stories for another day. Love and Such *Sari*