Far Away On the Other Side
By Auburn Red
X-Over between Rush Hour and Shanghai Noon/Knights
I do not own these characters. Lee, Carter, Hu Li, Isabella and anyone Rush Hour related belong to New Line. Chon, Roy, Rathbone, and anyone Shanghai Noon or Knights-related belong to Touchstone Pictures. There are references and possible cameos to other characters, and they belong to their original creators. (But to say who they are would spoil the surprise now wouldn't it? :D)
Chapter One: Carried away by a moonlight shadow
New York-
Roy O'Bannon felt like he was hit by a stampede. He tried to open his eyes, but the ache in his head was overpowering. Was he hung over? He certainly felt like it! How much did he have to drink last night? He remembered having the one drink with Chon and the old man. Did he have more and not remember?
He realized the weight of a person lying next to him. Maybe he was with a girl too! He was about to say something seductive and charming when he heard a very familiar and very male voice say "Ai-ya, what a night!"
Roy jumped back in surprise. "You tellin' me," the blond American said confused as his friend, Chon Wang woke up near him looking just as confused as he did. "Chon what did we do last night?"
Chon stared at his friend incredulously. "You mean that you don't remember?"
"Does it involve us and whips and chains?" Roy asked.
"No," Chon answered.
"Then no I don't," Roy replied.
"You don't remember the man and the shop?" Chon asked trying to jog his dazed friend's memory.
Roy tried to think. He remembered the pungent smell of incense and the knick knacks, a couple of which
He broke while entering. He remembered most of all the old man, looking at them with those strange
double eyes.
"I remember the guy," Roy said. "And I remember the drinks." The man offered them a drink. It tasted like fire going down his throat. He felt like he was burning from the inside. Roy writhed on the ground shaking and begging for the pain to stop. He finally collapsed on the ground. "But I can't remember anything else."
"Remember what the man said, to we must encounter the future to face our present," Chon said solemnly.
"Yeah I recall that fortune cookie crap too," Roy recalled.
"What's a fortune cookie?" Chon asked.
"You know a cookie with a piece of paper that has a fortune inside?" Roy said.
Chon doubled over in laughter. "That is the most ridiculous thing that I have ever heard! What do you do with the fortune do you eat it?"
"I don't know," Roy said exasperated. "We have more important things to worry about."
"Like what?" Chon asked.
"Like where are we?" Roy asked motioning around. Chon looked around. The two were no longer in the ornate shop. Instead, they were in a barren empty warehouse. They were surrounded by nothing more than old newspapers and crates that had fallen apart. The mildew smell was overpowering.
"Hey," a voice yelled. "What are you doing here?"
Chon and Roy looked up to see a man in a police officer's uniform point a gun at them. "You two are trespassing."
"We don't want any trouble," Chon said. "But we don't know where we are!"
"Sir, you are in condemned property," the police officer said. "Now get on out of here."
"Sir, you don't understand," Chon began.
"No sir, you don't understand, you are going to get out of here and you are going to leave," the man said.
"Look now," Roy began. "We just said that we don't want any trouble-"
That was as far as he got when the man stuck a gun out at them. "Okay now you're just being a jerk," Roy said. "I'm warning you."
"I asked you two to leave," the man said.
"I warned you," Roy said. The man was about to fire on them but Chon kicked the gun out of his hand. "Roy let's get out of here!" he yelled.
The American and Chinese man ran out of the warehouse into the bright afternoon. They collapsed by a building and barely contained their nervous laughter. "Are we still in New York?" Roy asked.
"I don't know," Chon replied. They were in a crowded street with people walking past them. They were dressed in odd clothing, business suits, blue jeans, and other items. In a daze, Roy was about to walk out onto an oddly paved road when Chon held him back. Several vehicles drove past them. "It looks like that I should have invested in that auto-mobile idea after all," Roy quipped. "Who knew that it would catch on so quickly?"
"This isn't the same New York that we left," Chon said. "Those buildings weren't that tall! Those auto-mobiles weren't there before! How long were we asleep?"
"Chon, look," Roy said. He pointed at a newsstand that they stood next to. He glanced at a newspaper. Over an article about a president named Barack Obama, a story about a war in some place called Iraq, an article about some British Parliament member announcing his engagement, and a picture of a hot girl named, Britney Spears,. Roy glanced at the date: February 17, 2009!
"2009?" Chon exclaimed losing some of that calm. "We are in the future!"
Roy noticed the newsstand owner looking at the two like they were crazy. "First day out of the asylum," he explained, then he pulled Chon away. "How can we be in the future? How did we get here?"
They both shared the same thought. "That old codger sent us here, but why?" Roy asked.
"More importantly, how do we get back?" Chon asked.
I
nspector Lee Han and Detective James Carter walked past the busy Manhattan streets. Carter shook his head for what felt like the hundredth time. They were supposed to be on a case, but Lee told his friend that he wanted to take a detour down this street. "I don't know, Lee," he said. "You and I have only been to New York once to see the Knicks play and you have a hunch that something is going to happen here?"
"It's not just a hunch, Carter," Lee replied. "I told you about my dream."
Carter wanted to contain laughter, but really hoped his buddy wasn't losing it. "A dream, that makes it all better. I can see you explaining that to our bosses. 'Uh, sorry sir, we couldn't follow the Triad, because Lee had a dream that he was naked while giving his valedictorian speech!'"
"Not that kind of dream, Carter," Lee responded testily. "I keep seeing this street and this building. But the odd part is I am watching myself and another man there!"
"That's crazy, you're crazy Lee," Carter said. "It was just a dream. None of it is supposed to make sense."
Lee gasped recognizing the red door, now faded, from his dream. He reached over and opened the door. "Then how come I know where I am going?" he asked as he waved Carter inside.
The place was barren and empty. The African-American detective looked around. "Nothing here, let's go, Lee," he demanded.
"This doesn't look at all like what I saw," Lee said.
"Lee, dreams aren't supposed to make sense. When I was in 7th grade, I dreamt that Janet Jackson and I were making out then she turned into my Mom," the memory gave Carter the shudders and he never looked at his old "Rhythm Nation" CD in the same way again.
Lee wasn't paying attention to his friend's speech. Instead he glanced down and saw an odd stone. He picked it up and looked closely. It had some Chinese characters on it. Though most of it faded, Lee could make out some of the writing.
"A rock," Carter said. "We came here for a rock?"
"It says something," Lee said. "Something about the first stone-"
"-Hey I thought I told you to leave," a voice called. The detectives turned to see a fair-haired man in his earl y '30's dressed in a police officer's uniform.
Lee and Carter looked up. "Look man, we are on your side, "Carter replied. The two men flashed their badges but the police officer seemed unimpressed.
The man continued to point a gun at the two detectives. "You two are coming with me," he said testily. He screwed up the last time the guy was in here, he wasn't going to mess up again.
"Somehow I don't think you're really a cop," Carter said. "and we ain't going anywhere with you!"
"Good job," the man replied dropping the New York accent for a British one. "Now you two are coming with me! " He repeated. "Where's your blond friend?"
"My blond friend?" Lee and Carter exchanged confused glances. "That's it," Carter said.
"Leave this to me," Lee replied. The man was about to fire his gun when Lee kicked it out of his hand and kicked him in the face. "Bloody hell," the man said as Lee and Carter left "Second time today!"
Chon and Roy walked down the busy street feeling more and more confused. They walked past busy crowds of people. Occasionally, someone would stop and peer confused at their old-fashioned clothes. A couple of teenagers pointed and laughed. "Now come on! Do I make fun of your stupid outfits?" Roy yelled.
"Roy, hush," Chon said. He knew his friend was just as confused as he was. "Maybe we ought to figure out somewhere to sleep for the night,. Maybe we could sleep under the stars."
"No can do, compadre," Roy said. "It's dangerous to sleep under the stars in New York. Maybe we could sleep in a hotel! I might still have connections."
"In 2009?" Chon asked. "Besides I remember those connections. I don't want to repeat it."
"Hey that was fun," Roy said remembering his days as a gigolo.
"For you," Chon recalled them less fondly.
Because a large flux of people walked up to them, Chon and Roy didn't notice the petite dark-haired woman until she collided with them. "Watch it!" she commanded in Mandarin.
"I'm sorry," Chon said.
"Maybe you ought to look where you are-" Roy said. "Whoa-ho," he said. The woman was small with long silky dark hair. She had a small doll-like face and gave an appearance of fragility, but she stared at the two men with such venom.
It took her a minute but her eyes widened in recognition. "You!" she said and lunged at Chon.
"Again?" Roy asked. Chon fired back at her as the two fought for a few minutes. Chon seemed to have her at a stand –still, but she disappeared into the crowd.
"Who was that?" Chon asked rhetorically.
"Whoever she was, she was hot," Roy joked. "She seemed to recognize you though."
"I don't know why," Chon said. "I've never seen her before in my life."
Julie Tan ran through the crowd, pushing past people. Because of her small size and her ability to blend into the crowd, she was able to evade capture. She flipped on her cell phone and dialed a number "Fifth and Main, over here now!" She commanded. As if by magic, a sleek black limo appeared at the right address. She pulled open the passenger side and jumped in.
"Where to?" her driver and bodyguard, Su Lin asked.
"The Plaza," she answered. Su Lin nodded. Though older than Julie, she recognized the younger woman as her superior. She was good in a fight and was fiercely loyal, precisely what she needed.
She glanced at the briefcase and sighed with relief. Julie had the plans just like they hoped. She couldn't wait to call Neil! Then she glowered at her earlier scene with Inspector Lee. She didn't ask herself why they were dressed so oddly, or who the other man was with him. All she knew that if her adversary was going to fight her, then she would be happy to oblige. She wasn't Julie Tan, businesswoman, in those few minutes with Lee, she was Hu Li, assassin and explosives expert facing down a former enemy. She couldn't believe that she let her guard down. She hoped that it wasn't enough to make Lee recognize her.
Hu Li glanced down at her jade and diamond engagement ring and glanced at her watch. It was 2:30 pm, it would 8:30 in London. She had better call and make a report.
"Su Lin, put up the blind," she said. "I want to speak to my fiancé."
Su Lin obliged as Julie hit speed dial one on her cell.
London, England-
Neil Rathbone walked down the halls of Parliament. An overly long session had finally ended. Most of the other members were tedious fools, but then they always were. He had answered a few reporters' questions which had asked about their recent bill, the stories about his "treasonous ancestor", and about his engagement (not necessarily in that order), but he didn't feel like giving too many pithy phrases so he cut the interview short. He was waiting on a very important call.
"Rathbone," the persistent and not altogether welcome voice of Rathbone's least favorite reporter, Jerry Jennings came up to him. "Can I have a word?"
"No," Rathbone said. "There that's a word."
The red-haired man followed the dark haired MP to his car as he spoke. "You know, you're usually more eloquent than that."
"Not for you, Jennings," Rathbone said.
"Suppose, you give me an exclusive," Jennings prompted.
"Suppose, I don't," Rathbone asked walking away. Damn, why hasn't she called yet? He glanced at his watch! Almost 8:30! It was early afternoon there. She should have made the exchange by now.
"Suppose I give you some interesting facts about your fiancée," Jennings replied.
Rathbone turned to face him. "I have a meeting to go to and as interesting as this conversation is, I have no wish to pursue it, so if you have something about Miss Tan, I suggest you wait to give it to me."
"Tomorrow then," Jennings said. Rathbone waved him off with a yeah whatever manner. He pushed the button to unlock his sports car and stepped in. He no sooner revved up the engine when his ring tone started playing "Paint it Black" This had better be good, he thought! He glanced at the caller I.D. :Tan, Julie. He answered it satisfied. "Did you get them?" He asked.
"Yes," Julie responded breathlessly. "I broke in to the building and got the plans, and got out!'
"Wonderful," Rathbone replied. "They won't know what hit them."
"Precisely," Hu Li answered. It was fun having a fiancé who had the same goals as she did. It made their engagement very interesting.
"Were there any complications?" Rathbone asked. There was a hesitation in Hu Li's voice. "Well what's the matter?" He asked.
"While escaping, I ran into my old enemy, Inspector Lee," she said. "I tried to attack him and ran!"
"What?" Rathbone replied. "Did he recognize you?"
"I don't know," she said.
"He might not have if you hadn't done that," he reminded her. "He thought you were dead! I can't believe you would do something so stupid!"
"I'm sorry, alright," she argued. "Don't tell me that you wouldn't have done the same."
"The chances of me running into any of my former enemies are probably zero," Rathbone replied dryly. "You are alright, of course." Despite the blandness in his voice, there was a small tone of concern which Hu Li caught.
"Of course," she replied just as blandly.
"Was the other man with him?" Rathbone asked. "What was his name-Carter?"
"No," Hu Li said. "This was the odd part. He was with a blond man and they were dressed as cowboys."
Rathbone slammed the brakes on his car as his cell phone lurched forward. Impossible! It couldn't be-could it? "Neil?" Hu Li's voice called through the telephone. "Neil?" With her accent, she pronounced his name like "Neo."
Rathbone warily picked up the phone. "I'm here," he said. "Looks like my chances of running into an old adversary are greater than we thought."
"What do you mean? Hu Li asked.
"I'll explain when I see you," he replied. "Looks like there has been a slight change in plans."
"Do you want me to come to London?" Hu Li asked.
"No," Rathbone said remembering the scene that morning. "My flat has been bugged. I'll fly into New York tomorrow. It is better we regroup there any way. I'll see you tomorrow," he said.
"Tomorrow then," Julie agreed.
"You know," Rathbone replied.
"I do," Julie agreed. They left the rest of those phrases purposely unsaid.
Neil Rathbone nee Lord Nelson Rathbone, hung up the phone and pulled the car in reverse back to the hotel that he had been staying in all night since he discovered the bugs. He couldn't believe Chon Wang and Roy O'Bannon here! It had been over 100 years since he saw them, what are they doing here? It could be a coincidence he thought-After all, this Lee fellow did resemble him from the photograph that Julie showed him. But he did not believe that coincidence at all. Well he could put those two on their ever growing list of enemies. If O'Bannon and Chon interfered with their plans, well it wouldn't be the first time that he had gone up against them.
Carter and Lee walked down the street when, Carter pulled Lee back. "Lee that dude over there across the street stole something from you."
"Really, Carter what?" Lee asked not sure what his African-American friend was driving at.
"Your face," Carter pointed at the direction and they saw two men dressed as cowboys. One was a blond man with an oddly shaped nose and the other was a Chinese man, who looked exactly like Lee!
"Pi hua!" Lee said in surprise.
"You said it," Carter agreed. "Now we know what you're dream was about."
Chon looked up at the street sign, when Roy pulled him back. "5th Avenue, Roy! I remember it from our time, it has grown so big!"
"Chon," Roy told him, but Chon continued gabbing about the scenery. Taking matters into his own hands, Roy moved Chon's head to look across the street. "Chon, look!"
Chon felt a shock go through him! Two men across the street were watching them. The taller black man was looking at them with surprise and suspicion while the other man looked just as stunned as Chon felt! He was Chinese and had the exact same build, height, and features that Chon had! In fact Chon felt like he was staring at his own reflection!
"Sheng di," Chon said in surprise. "They must be why we are here!"
A man looked outside his office window. The phone call made him jump. "Shannon, are they there?" he asked.
"Yes, sir, I ran into Lee and Carter," the cop said. "And the other gentlemen earlier."
"Good, very good," the man said. "Now all our little ducks are in a row."
"And Li and Rathbone, sir?" he asked. "Should I have interfered with that?"
"No, don't worry. Let them go as far as they need to," he said. "They will do the work for us."
Author's Note: "Pi Hua" is roughly translated to "Holy Shit." And "Sheng di" is my God In Mandarin.
BTW, I don't remember what was written on Chon Wang's stone that his father left him. If one of you could be a dear and give it to me, much help would be appreciated. :D