I loved him.
When he was happy so was I
When he was down All I wanted was to raise his spirits up
When he breathed ...I felt Alive
When he kissed me Everything in the world seemed...just right, I was complete.

So many moments we shared, Stolen kisses, adventures of all sorts.
Such sweet... Memories...
His kisses so tender and gentle, filled with emotion that couldn't be expressed any other way.

June came along the end of year feast to look forward to, so hard to believe another year had gone by. Another wonderful year spent in his arms ...
We'd talked every moment up until the train pulled into Platform 9 3/4. He assured me I would stay in his heart forever, and never could he find anyone to ever take my place. "We'll see eachother again soon enough". Lovingly I kissed him a last time before he was walking towards his parents. He met with them, turned around and winked. A sweet gesture, one just for me....

Four weeks passed not one owl to my name, he promised he'd write as soon as he gotten home...
Then the day before school started, I owled him once more.
Staring, watching the clouds roll across the pale sky, I was thinking about everything we'd done together. Tears leaked silently down my cheek. I was so confused. What has happened, something in my heart told me things weren't right. Then hardly noticing it, His beautiful owl came into view.
My heart leaped, an explanation awaited me.
Gently, my hand quivering I eased the letter from the owls clutch, tore open the envelope to find not a reason, but a hastily scrawled note:
I'm coming to your place tonight At 1:00 by floopowder, make sure your there.
The thrill of adventure and excitement coursed through me. What could he be up to?

9:00 Mom's gone up to bed
10:00 Dad's gone up too
11:00 Geeze I'm tired
12:00 I'd fallen asleep
A sudden pop and he was there in front of me, still asleep I didn't know.
I felt warmth on my cheek. Slowly opening my tired eyes to meet his, his lips still pressed against my cheek. I raised my hand to touch his handsome face. His eyes closed at the touch. He stood up, as did I.
I wrapped my arms around him and breathed in heavily the scent he always wore.... Things felt normal again , my heart was at ease... then out of know where He pulled my arms away from him and backed up, his eyes suddenly shiny with tears . What was going on, why was he looking at me like that?
"Are you alright?" I inquired.
He nodded.
He wasn't saying much of anything. This was so unlike the laughter filled conversations we usually had, never an awkward moment of silence. But now that's all that filled the room.
Finally after a deep breath he explained...His parents didn't know about me they hadn't for the 2 1/2 years we'd been going out, he said they wouldn't understand ... his fathers boss had a daughter of our age and his parents had planned a vacation that would include her.
"Oh ...Why didn't you owl me? " I asked.
"I forgot....".

So confused, I wondered when my heart would decide to beat again.

He said he needed to tell me something. And suddenly I understood.
As he vocalized my worst fear, that darkest dread turning reality, I waited staring at the floor.
He said how great the time we spent together was, now tears steadily streaming down my face. He told me he loved me so much and nothing could ever change that.
"But something.... Already has " I said. My hands trembling as I waited, my lips quivered with every passing second. He said He couldn't find a way to say this...
He brushed away the tears.
He felt different now, his feelings had changed.
He wanted us to just be friends.

I complied, my voice a single tone. I was in shock.

He turned to leave...I looked at him, stood up and lightly grabbed his shoulder to stop him. Slowly he turned, his face red, his eyes glossy. Those tender cheeks, the ones I used to kiss... wet.
I moved to give him a hug he turned and threw some floo powder from his pocket into the dying fire and was gone.... He left me sobbing on the floor, the hurt and shock of it all; breaking, tearing my heart into pieces.

I saw him on the train the next day, still unsure of the previous night's events. I couldn't believe what had happened. I found a compartment filled with my friends. I acted the way I always do and I laughed and giggled with them appearing happy, though my insides were tortured in anguish.
After they had all shared their summer's events and were thoroughly put out, I moved towards the window and stared out. My closest friend noticed the difference and had an idea what it was about. She moved next to me and asked me about him. I opened my mouth and quickly closed it again. I stared at the floor. Suddenly tears once again flowing down my cheeks. She just looked at me and attempted to hug away all the hurt. I looked up and tried to smile, to thank her. But my heart couldn't take it, she understood. I got up to find an empty compartment, but she stopped me said something to the other girls and they let me have my peace.
Moving back to the window I sat watching as the green hills turned to rocky crags the sky changing from light blue to a deep periwinkle. I began crying, silently waves of the pain I'd been feeling came out and streamed down my cheeks.

That year went by as time does, sometimes faster than one would like others as if time were on a permanent break.
Before I knew it the "End of Year Feast" was upon us. The next day I found an empty compartment. I began thinking about this last year. I'd been avoiding guys, with the thought of avoiding pain.
Suddenly the compartment slid open and a handsome young man stood before me and asked if he could join me. I shuddered at the thought of a relationship. I moved over and said "Ofcourse".
The trip home was a very memorable one, he turned out to be a great guy. I'd forgotten that that was possible. We talked until our voices were hoarse and we became tired. I was seated next to him and moved so my head fell on his shoulder .I looked up and he smiled down at me...
The one thing I was so scared of...a relationship. The pieces of my heart slowly began to heal. And one day it would be whole again...
I'd finally gotten over my love, my first love.


Disclaimer- all likeness' with Jk Rowlings Stories are hers, not mine.
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