Trust regained

Preview:

Not long after the Horsemen incident, Methos is trying to come to terms with what happened. Soon he works to regain Joe's and Mac's trust, but can he do it while keeping his sanity? Or keeping the horseman in him in check? Would it cost the Oldest Immortal more than he bargained for? Or will it get him no where...

((P.S: I am really bad at synopsis, PLEASE READ))

Hey everyone, remember this is purely for fun, I do not own highlander, no matter how much i want to. ;) Anyway I don't own the Characters: Joe, Duncan, Methos, Don, Alexa, or the Four Horsemen or any other highlander character that appears sry... Any who please R&R...

((Adi is mine! lol :p))

NOTE: This story so far is told from Methos' and Joe's perspective, FOR NOW. So there will be quite a few switches in perspective, just to keep you on your toes. ;)

FYI:

((To make the switches a bit more recognizable (out of the goodness of my heart... lol) I separated them with "" these. I know after reading maybe the first or second sentence you'll be able to figure it out, but so there is less confusion... ))

(Comments are welcome, be nice lol. I know Duncan is quite harsh in this section so please be lenient. He is brooding so PLEASE LENIANCY WOULD BE WELCOME, REALLY! enjoy!)

NOW ON WITH THE SHOW

T're

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Methos walked into Le Blues bar and looked across the room at the highlander, he was sitting at the bar nursing a drink. Dawson was busy cleaning a few glasses. It had been a week since the horsemen incident, and Methos knew that no matter what he said, the highlander would never trust him like he had before. In fact, nothing would be as it was, not their friendship, nothing. Chances are he would not ever talk to him again much less look at him. Dawson was probably the same too; he was just like the highlander just not as critical about honor.

Methos lowered his eyes, maybe this was a bad idea he thought as someone brushed passed him to exit the bar. Maybe he should go home or to that other bar across town he had been going to... Methos walked over to a table, where he took a seat. Even when the waitress came and put a beer in front of him, he didn't look up. The only thing she got out of him was a mumbled 'thank you'. He knew Joe had seen him and figured to give him a beer, 'at least I can still get a drink' he thought. He sat there for a while knowing that MacLeod was looking at him. He wasn't even facing him, but he knew. Methos could sense MacLeod's dark gaze and he felt it boring into his back. Methos picked up the bottle of beer from the table and set it in his lap, he started picking at the label, thinking. Then he heard it, the sound of a cane connecting with the floorboards coming in his direction. 'Joe' Methos thought, he kept his eyes lowered and continued to pick at the label.

"Adam?" he heard...

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I saw the old man come in. He looked like hell; I don't think the guy had had a wink of sleep in a long while. Is it just me or is he a bit thinner too? Hmmmm... Oh no, Mac is glaring at the counter, I guess he noticed Methos too, wait, duh, he's immortal. But jeeze, C'mon Mac cut the guy a break, are you really going to do this to him over something like this? I mean I can't blame Methos for not telling us, I know I wouldn't tell either if I was in his shoes. Yeah I know you're angry at him, so am I, but don't condemn a man for deeds he has done thousands of years ago... I look at the old man again; I guess he has made up his mind about staying at least for a while, as I watch him walking slowly to a table. He sits down his back to us. Poor kid, no not kid, 5000 year old man, not kid. Still he looks so young, its hard to believe he is that old, but as I look at him now, he looks just that, 5000 years. I send a beer over. Maybe he will stay and maybe after a drink or two maybe I'll head over there and talk to him.

Oh great he's picking at the label, obviously he's thinking, or nervous... or both. He must feel really guilty, I know I would. I can't take it any more, I leave Mac at the bar and tell Mike to take over for a while, and I make my way over to Methos' slumped form on the other side of the bar.

I could have sworn the guy was dead when I walked up to him; he made no movement other than his continuous label picking. 'Was he even breathing?' I couldn't tell. I took a deep cleansing breath before I went around the table to face him.

"Adam?" I ask. He doesn't look at me; he only motions to the chair across from him with a weak wave of his hand. 'God let him be alright' I silently pray.

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Methos waved his hand at a chair. He didn't look up; he couldn't look at Joe after what he had done. He wanted so badly to run as far as he could, to get up and yell that he was sorry for Don's death, for lying to him about him, Adam, being immortal, for the horsemen, for everything. He wanted disappear, yes that sounded good, run, get as far as he could from here. Maybe he could do it, run away and never return. Never resurface again. 'No no, get a grip Methos, that's not you talking that's Adam Pierson. That mild mannered watcher kid you invented, who would go crawl into a dark corner waiting for the world to look the other way, to get away from it all. No you are Methos, not that, that student!' He scolded himself, he was stronger than this, or at least was... He felt so lost.

He could feel the horseman in him trying to convince him to let him out, convincing him that he would be better again; he would be safe again... He could hear Kronos and his brothers.

How could I have been such a fool? He grips his beer white knuckled, not feeling the pain.

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I sit down across from the old man. Methos looks like he is waging an inner battle with himself; he has finally stopped picking at the label of his beer, but is now gripping it. His knuckles are white. "Adam," I whisper, "Relax, its ok." as I look at him he seems to shrink into his chair 'God he looks so helpless, why is this happening?'

"Adam?" I say again a bit more firmly this time, this seems to jar him a bit, and he looks up slightly, his eyes are red.

"God, Adam what have you done to yourself?" I say, but all I get is a mumbled jumble of words. The bar is emptying a bit more; it would be empty within the hour. Then he could really talk to Methos. I look over the old man's shoulder at Mac, he's still sitting at the bar, brooding no doubt. Joe felt like he was caught in the middle between an ancient and a brooding highlander, wait he was... 'Gosh I'm too old for this' Joe thinks to himself. I tried getting Methos to talk again, but he wouldn't or out right refused, I couldn't tell. I sit with him for a while more and soon the bar is empty save Duncan, Mike, Methos, and me...

I tell mike to head home, that I would close shop. After Mike left and I heard the door lock, I got up to get a few beers, Mac gave me a quizzing look, but I just shrugged. I went back to the table and set the beers on the table then I took my place across from the mute immortal. I try talking to him again, this time, no aliases, "Methos?"

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"Methos?" I heard the name come from the man sitting across the table from me, I guess I must be really out of it, 'cause I don't remember that many beers sitting on the table, nor who put them there. 'You're loosing it Methos, get a grip' I scold again.

I look at Joe ready to fall apart, usually he calls me Adam when people are around and when he's pulling age with me. Yeah, age; I got him on that one, but on appearance not really. Joe has a way of making me seem and feel younger than I am. I guess it makes me more human... I forget what its like, to be human, I haven't been human for so long, I think I got a glimpse of it when I met Joe and Don, and again when I met Alexa... Oh sweet Alexa, I sure miss her.

Then of course I lost my humanity again when Kronos showed up... I loved my brothers once a long time ago. I thought I found myself again, something that I had lost, but yet, something I couldn't control. When I left my brothers to explore the world a part of me died that day... And I felt that same feeling when I betrayed and took Silas' head. I can still see Silas' eyes in my mind; they portrayed the bewilderment of my betrayal. Silas had said that I just lost my way and that he and my brothers could help me. But I knew it was futile. Nothing could help me.

I can see Kronos again; years ago I would have been afraid of that look, 'cause I knew he would surely kill me, at least temporarily. His piercing blue eyes and his hard look scared many including that of his brothers in arms. But then, I don't know what came over me when he returned. I schemed against him though I knew if Kronos lived he would surely kill me, but I wasn't afraid. It was a strange feeling.

I look at Joe and quietly mumble "I'm sorry Joe, you know, for every thing..." I can't stand it anymore, I quickly stand up and practically run to the door, I unlock it with great proficiency and run out of the bar, I don't even go to my car, thinking it would take too much time and they would catch me. I can hear Joe inside the bar yelling for me to come back, 'sorry Joe, I can't'. I ran, faster than I had ever ran before, faster than my races with Kronos thousands of years ago, faster than my old horse I trained and road when I was death. I ran. No one was going to stop me.

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I looked at Methos, when he finally decided to look at me again. The kid looks as though he was about to crash and burn. 'Man this worse than I thought' I think to myself, I can't even imagine what was going on in his head right now.

Then I hear it, I can barely make it out, "I'm sorry Joe, you know, for everything..." Methos was silent for a moment, as I watched him. I guess he came to the conclusion he had to go, 'cause he got up and ran to the door.

I followed suit, standing as well, and yelled after him, "Don't run Adam! Come back, it's alright!" but my words fell on deaf ears he ran out the door into the night. I watched the door swing closed.

I walked as fast as I could to the door and out of the bar. I saw him running down the slick street. 'Damn he's fast' then I look again, and I can't see him any more, 'where did he go? He was right there a moment ago...' I look around seeing no one in sight, 'he's gone' I tell myself, as I look down at the ground...

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I ran for what seemed like hours till I could barely stand, I collapsed in a park I knew, no one went there anymore, it was well hidden, and I always came there to think, or to be alone... I lay on the ground for a very long time, not sure if I could walk... And then I cried, I cried for the longest time, until finally, I was spent. I welcomed the darkness as it rushed towards me with open arms...

--

Methos awoke early the next morning just before sunrise. He sat up and shook some of the dew off of his coat and brushed a hand through his damp hair. He sat there for a moment then decided to head home or on second thought maybe he should grab his car at Joe's... No, the car can wait; he'll get it tomorrow, maybe around midnight so no one would know he was there. Yes that sounds good, besides he could do with a bed right now. He moved his head from side to side, his neck cracked. 'Great just what I need' Methos thought as he got up and stretched. Methos then picked a direction and headed home, there were quite a few ways on getting home from here that's while Methos liked this place so much, there was always a way out. He continued to walk a ways looking at the scenery, not aware that someone was watching him...