This is a story about Erendis, as she asks the birds the elves gave her to
leave. Unfinished Tales knowledge required. Please read and review.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters or events.
Thanks to Nerdanel for beta reading.
When I awoke, and heard you singing, I was blissfully joyful in my drowsy state. Aldarion was beside me, and I was happy. It wasn't until I woke fully that I remembered I was here, in Emerië. Now it brings sadness and anger; a reminder of what was. Yes, what was, for when he comes back he will find no welcome from me. You look at me reproachfully, I think. I know I have taken my vows, yet he is the one who breaks them. The sea is just as much of a mistress as any woman could be, and she is much more ruthless.
You sit there nuzzling each other, your golden beaks glinting in the sun as you sing still. You would not understand, I know. Perhaps you know more of love than I do. I think not, though. I no longer believe in love. It is a story for romantic young maidens and children. Men only want one thing, and that has nothing to do with love. You seem to shake your heads at me. I suppose you believe yourselves to be in love. Maybe you are. Maybe it is only me who has lost at this heartbreaking game. For it is a game. Just another game that men like to prove they have the upper hand in. I suppose even now Aldarion has won, for it is me who is bitter and alone.
I wonder which one of you is the female. You, I believe, for you follow always his tune, never your own. Why do you never sing your own song? You look puzzled, I think, for you do not understand me. You only understand music. Or perhaps you understand more than I do, my dear. I suppose I have succeeded where you have failed though, for you are completely dependent on him. Or maybe you have succeeded where I have failed.
I once thought your song was beautiful. No, it is still beautiful. Now it is terrible in its beauty, bringing out emotions I had carefully hidden away. It brings back the memories of times when I listened to your music and was content. Now, I will never be content again. Yes, you are right my dears, somewhere inside I do believe in love. Somewhere inside I love him so much it hurts. But I have buried that, and now I scorn him. I cannot bear to share him. I especially cannot bear that he loves the sea more than me. He would not have left if he loved me more.
Fly away now! What business do you have here? You do nothing but mock me. Why will you not leave? I try to push you, but still you will not fly away.
You look at me still, such trust in your eyes. I pray I did not hurt you, my darlings. I am a monster. See what he has made me? Fly away from this place before my sorrow taints you. I hope the tears I have shed upon you do not turn your beautiful grey into black. Fly away, sweet fools! This is no place for joy such as yours.
Notes: The last two sentences 'Fly away, sweet fools! This is no place for joy such as yours.' is borrowed from what Erendis says to the birds in the Unfinished Tales (page 248)
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters or events.
Thanks to Nerdanel for beta reading.
When I awoke, and heard you singing, I was blissfully joyful in my drowsy state. Aldarion was beside me, and I was happy. It wasn't until I woke fully that I remembered I was here, in Emerië. Now it brings sadness and anger; a reminder of what was. Yes, what was, for when he comes back he will find no welcome from me. You look at me reproachfully, I think. I know I have taken my vows, yet he is the one who breaks them. The sea is just as much of a mistress as any woman could be, and she is much more ruthless.
You sit there nuzzling each other, your golden beaks glinting in the sun as you sing still. You would not understand, I know. Perhaps you know more of love than I do. I think not, though. I no longer believe in love. It is a story for romantic young maidens and children. Men only want one thing, and that has nothing to do with love. You seem to shake your heads at me. I suppose you believe yourselves to be in love. Maybe you are. Maybe it is only me who has lost at this heartbreaking game. For it is a game. Just another game that men like to prove they have the upper hand in. I suppose even now Aldarion has won, for it is me who is bitter and alone.
I wonder which one of you is the female. You, I believe, for you follow always his tune, never your own. Why do you never sing your own song? You look puzzled, I think, for you do not understand me. You only understand music. Or perhaps you understand more than I do, my dear. I suppose I have succeeded where you have failed though, for you are completely dependent on him. Or maybe you have succeeded where I have failed.
I once thought your song was beautiful. No, it is still beautiful. Now it is terrible in its beauty, bringing out emotions I had carefully hidden away. It brings back the memories of times when I listened to your music and was content. Now, I will never be content again. Yes, you are right my dears, somewhere inside I do believe in love. Somewhere inside I love him so much it hurts. But I have buried that, and now I scorn him. I cannot bear to share him. I especially cannot bear that he loves the sea more than me. He would not have left if he loved me more.
Fly away now! What business do you have here? You do nothing but mock me. Why will you not leave? I try to push you, but still you will not fly away.
You look at me still, such trust in your eyes. I pray I did not hurt you, my darlings. I am a monster. See what he has made me? Fly away from this place before my sorrow taints you. I hope the tears I have shed upon you do not turn your beautiful grey into black. Fly away, sweet fools! This is no place for joy such as yours.
Notes: The last two sentences 'Fly away, sweet fools! This is no place for joy such as yours.' is borrowed from what Erendis says to the birds in the Unfinished Tales (page 248)