I thought this up the other day. WARNING: Odd couplings and VERY, VERY WEIRD ENDING. And if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.
Everybody Loves Starfire…But who will get her?
"Agh!" Beast Boy yelped. "How did you beat me again?"
"Quit bein' a sore loser," Cyborg shot back, but immediately regretted it for Starfire was right there.
Raven felt her patience wearing thin as she tried to concentrate on something else.
Robin leered at the pair. 'How do THEY expect to gain Starfire's heart with THAT attitude? Besides, I already HAVE!'
Lately there had been many….err…relationship problems. Starfire seemed to have suited everyone's (yes everyone she ever associated with) sexual fancy, and until then, no one had showed it but Robin. But something had prompted them to, what it was stayed completely unknown. Not everyone was quite determined to seek her out however….
--MEANWHILE—
Bumble Bee sped quickly toward Titans WEST Tower, eager to see Starfire. The other Titans East were also hot on her trail, wanting….Starfire. It was the oddest thing.
"¡Más y Menos, si podemos conseguir Starfire!"
"NUUU!" Aqualad screamed fanboy-ishly.
Speedy shot an arrow at the TE-Plane Bumble Bee had gotten to first and was in, pulling it toward him with the rope that had shot out the back of the arrow. When he was successful he ran in there and threw her out.
"SHIT! AHH!"
"HAH."
--Meanwhile…er—
(A/N: FOR REAL SPOILERS! BEWARE!)
In an IM box (not really a chat room):
WnnacntrlTT: Starfire's too good for Robin. She'll never accept him.
WTF-abtTT: Err…
ImTooSexy4mashirt: And you're saying….?
Aqua-n-Bee2gthr4evr: That Starfire likes YOU?
ImTooSexy4mashirt: Star should be with BB! O.e
WnnacntrlTT: -.- She has feelings for me I know it!
WTF-abtTT: Um. I thought everyone knew she liked Robin?
WnnactrlTT: -.-' You're blowing my bubble! O.e
Aqua-n-Bee2gthr4evr: It's…BURSTING.
WnnacntrlTT: STUPID CLICHÉ EXPRESSION GEEK.
Aqua-n-Bee2gthr4evr: Stupid TV and comic geek.
Aqua-n-Bee2gthr4evr: Stinky.
Aqua-n-Bee2gthr4evr: Couch potato!
WnnacntrlTT: ALL OF US ARE.
WnnacntrlTT: I WILL suit Starfire's fancy!
WnnacntrlTT: She WILL love ME!
WnnacntrlTT: AND HAVE MY KIDS.
ImTooSexy4mashirt: So you'll have sex with her?
ImTooSexy4mashirt: Or will you rape her?
WTF-abtTT: Dude there's a kid in here.
WTF-abtTT: And as a potential mom I oppose of this discussion.
Aqua-n-Bee2gthr4evr: Yeah you're gross! T.T
ImTooSexy4mashirt: You don't oppose of my SN do you?
ImTooSexy4mashirt: Or YOUR OWN which has a swear word in it?
WTF-abtTT: -.-
WTF-abtTT: Let's drop this. Anyway, Control Freak, don't try to win Starfire's heart. It's not worth your time.
WnnacntrlTT: Try and MAKE ME.
WnnacntrlTT is away.
WTF-abtTT: Um…ok.
Auto response from WnnacntrlTT: STARFIRE LOVES ME BIATCHES!
--Even MORE meanwhile—
"Why did I always think Robin was hot?" Slade asked himself. "Maybe it's because he likes Starfire so much. Starfire's the hot one! SHE WILL BE MINE."
And with that he began to devise a plan….
--Once again, MEANWHILE. I seriously need a synonym for that word.—
Red X had a flashback.
FLASHBACK.
"The only CRIME here, cutie, is that we haven't gone out on a--!"
X was knocked down by an extremely jealous Robin.
END FLASHBACK.
He sighed. He could never have Starfire…the one he loved.
SHE'S SO HOT. And sweet! But mostly hot.
'I gotta have her. She's awesome.'
--Back at the Tower—
Bumble Bee kicked the door of the Tower!
"INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT!"
All the Titans East tried to rush past each other to find Starfire.
"MULTIPLE INTRUDER ALERT! MULTIPLE INTRUDER ALERT!"
"WHAT THE HELL?" Robin cried at all the intruder alerts.
Silkie was slowly creeping up to Starfire….
And then all the Titans East barged in.
And Silkie leapt up and kissed Starfire square on the lips.
"MINE!" he said.
O.O….
"STARFIRE'S MINE! SHE LOVES ME BIATCHES!"
"CONTROL FREAK?" Cyborg shot back.
"WHAT?" Beast Boy yelled. "Since when did HE say BIATCHES?"
"Since one of my IM buddies taught me the word!"
Starfire simply stared with disbelief.
Red X leapt into the living room, where everyone else was.
"STARFIRE!"
"NO!" Everyone screamed at each other. "SHE'S MINE!"
Everyone was in a dust cloud of punches, kicks, and weapons when Slade joined the pile. By now the intruder alerts had stopped.
"MINE!"
"MINE!"
"FRIENDS STOP!"
Everyone, willing to please her at all costs, stopped immediately and faced her.
"Why does everyone fight?"
"WE LOVE YOU STARFIRE!"
"I love you the most!" Robin cried. "Remember our moments?"
Cyborg cried, "WHAT ABOUT ME?"
"You're with Jinx," Beast Boy reminded him.
"Oh yeah," Cyborg said, walking away and not thinking to tell BB that he was supposed to want Raven but for the purpose of this fic is for most people to love Starfire.
Raven said nothing and stared meekly.
"Starfire, I asked you out!" X whined.
"You know my orange and black mask is sexy!"
"You're too good for them all!" Control Freak yelled before poking himself and saying, "More cushion for--!"
"Enough!" Starfire cried exasperated. "What is the MEANING of this? Please, I wish to be alone…" With that she left the room.
--Later—
'Stupid bastards,' Raven's angry side snapped. 'How rude of them to treat her like that! TO OBLIGATE HER! You should have said something Raven! YOU STUPID BITCH. DON'T YOU LOVE HER?'
Raven sighed as Brave cried, 'HEY! Don't call her that!'
--While that was happening—
Giving up all hope, the Titans East had left, as did Slade and Red X. But Control Freak, Robin and Beast Boy were still….negotiating…And Silkie was crying in a corner.
--In the chat—
ImTooSexy4mashirt: Can't wait anymore and I have to go! Ttyl
ImTooSexy4mashirt has left the room.
ImTooSexy4mashirt has just signed off.
WTF-abtTT: I gotta go too.
WTF-abtTT has left the room.
WTF-abtTT has just signed off.
Aqua-n-Bee2gthr4evr: Come on Control Freak!
Auto response from WnnacntrlTT: STARFIRE LOVES ME BIATCHES!
Aqua-n-Bee2gthr4evr: -.-
Okay, fourteen years later…lets see who Starfire chose….
Starfire lay in the queen sized bed she shared with her "mate". They had moved to a different city, where they were less known. In fact, the pair moved to a different country. They moved to…Greenland, Denmark. (A/N: Greenland IS part of Denmark!) Yes, they moved pretty far away.
It was cold, so she pulled up the covers and snuggled closer to her spouse. Slowly, Raven stirred at her touch.
"Good morning dearest Raven." Starfire smiled.
Raven, who was half asleep, only responded with a yawn and, "Morning."
"How are you currently feeling?"
"Fine."
Starfire had asked this question because of a certain Tamaranean ritual they had performed five months ago. This Tamaranean ritual HAD to involve a Tamaranean. The one who was Tamaranean or the one who was highest on the Tamaranean hierarchy (queen, etc) did not have to carry the burden, but also the blessing, of the result. The ritual was used by girls only, because males had no way of carrying the resulting burden. Haven't guessed yet? Raven was pregnant. Yes, call me what you want to, but she was. (A/N: it's a narrated fic okay?) The baby belonged to both of them, however, not just Starfire as on Earth where the baby belonged to the males who had impregnated the female carrying it. (Even though Star is clearly not a male.) The baby had been confirmed a girl by ANOTHER Tamaranean ritual.
Raven sighed and closed her eyes as Star leaned over and gently kissed her cheek. A half Tamaranean baby meant she was due any day now…or any hour.
Starfire and Raven loved living a simple, more Tamaranean life with much, much less technology than they had used as teenagers. They lived in a neighborhood that was little and unknown, with wonderful neighbors who didn't even know about their powers and origins.
Starfire then had a flashback…not really a flashback but a "quick jog down memory lane".
FLASHBACK.
Raven had been getting sick in the morning every so often, but they never bothered to find the cause; Starfire would only help her recuperate (which took her about a few hours) after puking.
Raven's appetite had increased so drastically that they would have to grocery shop for three instead of two.
Raven's moods had also been extremely unstable. One minute she'd be laughing with Starfire about how everyone thought she liked Robin, and the next minute she'd be sobbing about how much she had HATED Terra.
THEN Starfire smuggled home a pregnancy test.
And Raven found it in Starfire's nightstand drawer.
"KORI! WHY THE FUCK DO WE HAVE THIS!"
"Uhm…" Star sweat dropped and scratched the back of her head submissively. She explained the symptoms she had noticed and decided to buy one. "I meant to give it to you tomorrow morning," she finished.
Raven picked it up and stared at it. "I don't see how I would have gotten pregnant, but FINE. I'll humor you and take it." She walked into the bathroom, took it, and came back out. It was a very fast test, so it told results within a minute.
The pair stared at the test until it bore the result.
"POSITIVE?" They both cried.
Raven stared at it, much more shocked than Starfire was.
She replied quite quickly, as if all in one word. "Raven I am sorry I did not inform you but the ritual we did during meditation before sex and the way we had sex AFTER the ritual enabled me to impregnate you." Then she explained how the ritual worked, also as if it were all in one word. "I am sorry I did not tell you, but I truly wanted to start a family and reasoned that you would not want to start a family or would not believe me when I said we could start a family together." Then she slowed down. "I apologize Raven."
Raven, who had been patient enough to listen and decipher everything, was amazed, surprised, and speechless. All she could muster was "Oh…." before the awkward silence that followed.
Raven then spoke up. "Star, of course I'd like to start a family. And I understand why you didn't tell me what you were planning but….I don't like it when you keep things from me…." Her demeanor plummeted from clarification to guilt and sorrow. Starfire noticed this and immediately racked her brain for an action before her beloved broke down.
"I am sorry Raven. I will not do it again! EVER!"
Raven looked up at her and said, "O….okay…"
Starfire took the smaller girl into her arms and asked, very quietly, "Are you sure you would like to have a child?"
Raven looked up at Star and, as equally silently as she had asked, answered, "I would love to have a child."
END FLASHBACK.
Raven also had a similar "jog down memory lane" of the past events of her pregnancy.
FLASHBACK (again)
A neighbor of theirs, Olive, knocked on the door. Because Starfire wasn't home, Raven had no choice but to answer it.
"Hello Olive," Raven greeted, trying to make her efforts to cover her recently rounder middle with the blanket she had been carrying subconscious but failing. "How are you?"
"Very good, how about you?" Olive replied in her heavy Danish accent.
"G-good…" Raven was starting to get nervous; she hoped it wouldn't show when something blew up. "Come in."
Olive of course took the invitation in the cold of winter. Raven offered her a blanket as they sat down.
Olive of course noticed Raven's middle. "Congratulations."
"Come again?"
"Congratulations on the baby, dear."
Raven tensed. Of course Olive would have known. She just….noticed things.
"Uh…thanks."
Olive was starting to look confused. "So…who got you pregnant if it's just you and Kori here?
Raven of course did not know what to say. She knew she could confide in Olive, but…this was just NOT something she needed to know. "I…don't really wanna talk about it."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be nosy."
"It's fine." Now that Olive knew there was no point in covering her middle, but Raven still felt insecure about it.
When Olive finally left, Raven breathed a huge sigh of relief the second she was out of earshot. She plopped down on the couch and shut her eyes.
Star walked in. "Raven, are you okay?"
"Mhmm…" Raven nodded.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah…"
"Well…'suit yourself'."
END FLASHBACK.
Raven sat up, rubbing her head, which swam because she got up too fast.
"Raven? Are you…okay?"
"Yeah…I think so…" She leaned on the pillows that were propped against the wall, and Starfire glanced at her now exposed, abnormally large and occupied middle. She too sat up and scooted next to her.
"Are you experiencing…'the contractions'?"
"I don't…think…so…" She shut her eyes tightly. Starfire immediately knew she was lying. Crap. They had not yet prepared for what they would do when it was time. She heard Raven try but fail by miles to suppress a gasp.
"Uhm…" Star was thinking...HARD... "Oh…." She muttered, "Where is Raven to give birth?"
"I'm not in…l-labor…j-just…h-having…AGH…c-c-cramps…" She felt her water break. Jumping at the feeling, she gasped, most likely loud enough for a neighbor to hear. "N-never mind K-kori…I'm-m….in…l-labor…." She moaned uneasily, trying to hold her breath. Her eyes were still shut, and her eyelids began to ache. That was all she needed, more aches.
Star lifted Raven and looked around, searching for a suitable setting for the miracle of birth. Raven was now doubling over in pain.
Starfire immediately had an idea. She remembered a show about unique births, where one woman had given birth in a bathtub full of water. The baby did not start breathing until it was lifted out.
She set Raven back on the bed—"Raven! I have an idea!"—and dashed to the bathroom that was attached to their bedroom. She scrambled to the tub faucet and started to fill it with lukewarm water. While the tub was filling up, she moved everything around so that she'd have a better path when she carried Raven inside.
Raven was still wearing her clothes and was still where Star had left her. "Kori…hurry…!"
Star zoomed back to Raven and stripped her of her clothes. She lifted her up and placed her carefully in the bathtub (which was quite large) and turned off the faucet.
Raven was clinging to the edges of the bathtub until Starfire took her hand for her to hold. She was dilating, so their daughter wasn't ready to be born yet. That, of course, meant more pain for Raven.
She spread her legs out as to give the child more room…whenever she planned on gracing them with her presence. Raven squeezed Star's hand and struggled to open her eyes as she felt it come…
--OKAY THE MIRACLE OF BIRTH IS ALMOST OVER—
One last push and she was out.
"Do you wish for me to take her out now, Raven?" Star didn't want to take out the baby when she wasn't ready.
Raven scooted backward. "Hold on," she managed. "Okay," she cued when she was ready.
Carefully, oh so carefully, Starfire lifted the new life out of the water. As soon as she patted her on the back and got the water and fluids out of her throat, she began to cry. The cries echoed around the bathroom and were most likely heard by most of the neighbors.
Raven sat up gratefully and pulled the plug out of the tub. "I'll take the kid. Could you get me a towel?"
Star handed Raven their daughter, who was still sobbing, and grabbed a purple towel. The new parents quickly traded the items in their hands.
"What is her name?" Starfire asked. "We have not thought of a name."
Raven thought for a minute before saying, "How about…Freya?"
Starfire's face lit up at the name. "How beautiful!"
As Raven dressed, Starfire dressed Freya into some cute baby clothes. Raven sensed the flood of foreign emotions as most of the neighbors came to congratulate them on the new arrival.
"We'd better look nice," Raven told Star as she set the quieting Freya onto the bed. Raven was still quite round and didn't fit into most of her nice clothes, so she quickly put on a purple maternity dress. Starfire wore a normal pair of green stretch pants and a t-shirt. The new parents made their way to the living room with their daughter to greet the visitors.
Fin.
Yes, it was kinda weird, but as I said, if you don't have something nice to say don't say anything at all. Um...review?