I don't own MASH. I also don't own anything that O'Henry wrote, either. My pseudonnym, however, is due in large part to one character in particular...
Written as a stocking stuffer for Bonetree in the 2007 Yuletide Obscure Fandom Fanfiction Exchange. Although for the life of me, I don't know why anyone would call MASH obscure or rare. Go figure.
The Gift of the Majors, Of Captains, and Of Corporals
by Jo Z. Pierce
"No, sir," the corporal answered, just as his commanding officer began his question.
"Anything in the mail for me, Radar? I mean, of a personal nature?"
Walter O'Reilly, company clerk of Mobil Army Surgical Hospital #4077, placed a half dozen official letters and reams of paperwork on colonel Sherman T. Potter's large desk. The corporal - known affectionately as Radar for his ability to know what was going to happen before it actually did - lowered his eyes in sympathy. He knew that this was the last mail delivery before Christmas, and his commanding officer had not yet received anything from his wife.
"Don't worry, sir," the young corporal added, as he made his way for the door. "It's probably still in the mail."