Note: I read the scene where Rin and Sesshoumaru met in the manga, and it's a little different than in the anime. It was rather inspiring, so...off I went writing about what I think motivated her to stay with him and what got her talking again. Since the manga also leaves a lot to the imagination, I expanded on some scenes. This could be seen both as canon or as a lead-in to my other SessxOlderRin fic, The Last Day.
WARNINGS: Contains violence and bad language.
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Taking Chances
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"Don't know much about your life
And I don't know much about your world..."
--Celine Dion, "Taking Chances"
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"Hide, Rin. Don't say a word, or they will find you."
"Mama!"
"Go!"
Mama pushed me into the bushes a minute before men stormed our hut. I heard the screams of my brothers, who weren't fast enough to escape. Papa tried to protect them, and I saw somebody stab him in the throat. Mama turned towards where I hid. One of the thieves swung spiked kanabo that split her head open in a shower of blood and brains. I saw her eyes come out of their sockets. She fell in a heap into the puddle that turned her yellow kimono red. Her hair was everywhere, mixing in the red around her knees.
The thieves never found me. They took everything they wanted while I hid there, covering my mouth so I wouldn't scream. Mama said to never say a word or they would find me
...I awoke in the bush where I was hiding. That dream from three winters ago still haunted me.
Why was I hiding in the bushes?
I stole fish from the men in the village again because they forgot to leave me food. Afternoon sun showed between the trees. Did I sleep all day again? It didn't matter. Once I got big and strong I could hunt for my own food and not steal from people. Then I'd show those nasty men that I'm not a burden anymore!
I had just refilled my water container when a great light lit the forest. Blinded, I fell down in the bushes, but peeked out. Something white fell out of the glow and hit the ground hard. It looked like a very rich man!
He was hurt. Very, very badly hurt.
I crawled from the bush to get a better look at him.
The man was very pretty with long silver hair and a rich pelt of fur surrounding him. His clothes were mostly white with some red bellflower designs on the shoulders and sleeves. He had armor of some kind, but it was all broken. Blood stained his beautiful clothes and fur and matted some of his lovely hair. I couldn't see his face from where I crouched. I guess I was scared to look. What if he was mutilated like Mama and Papa? What if his tongue came out a hole where he should have a nose, and his eyes were hanging from their sockets by bloody tissue?
He still breathed. I heard him rasping and his chest rose, though it seemed hard for him. Well...he did land in a twisted position. Maybe if I could straighten him out a little...
I tip-toed closer. The side of his face was visible to me now--he was beautiful with pointed ears and strange stripes on his cheekbone. I saw no hand in the left sleeve of his kimono. Goodness, what could have happened? And there was so much blood!
Maybe some water would help.
I held up the container. The pretty man suddenly sat up. His face startled me! Red eyes, red stripes and fangs the size of my fingers!
I foolishly upended the water container over his head. Mama used to do that to our dogs when they barked too much, and it made them be quiet.
Cold water splashed all over the pretty man's face. He growled at me, soaked and bedraggled because of my clumsiness. Then his eyes rolled back. His head sank backwards onto the fur. The crimson stain on his furry pelt grew. Moving disturbed his wounds and they all bled. He needed help. But...I knew he wasn't human. If I brought back the men in the village, they'd kill him for sure. Any help he got would come from me, it seemed, so I ran away to gather some herbs. I remembered a little about them. The right leaves and berries could turn into a paste when I mixed them with water. The poultice stung really bad, though...
I made noise so my pretty foundling wouldn't startle again. He didn't move even when I touched his arm, so I lifted part of his kimono off his shoulder and pressed the biggest leaf to the ragged wound underneath. I put a smaller plaster on the cut on his neck and tried to clean the dirt off his face with my sleeve, but my dirty sleeve just made it worse. My fingers worked, though, and in a few moments the worst of the dirt was wiped off his cheeks. When I moved his hair off his forehead to feel for a fever, I saw a beautiful blue crescent moon. Was it paint? I rubbed it some, and nothing smeared. The moon was part of him. So were the stripes on his cheekbones, which had gone from jagged red to smooth maroon. That made me smile. I liked his markings.
Then I tilted my water container to his mouth. He sputtered and swallowed some without waking up. His long eyelashes fluttered on his cheeks. He licked his lips, and I thought his small mouth looked like a little boy's. Everything about him seemed so perfect.
Maybe he didn't mean to snarl at me. He had serious injuries--what if he just growled to protect himself? Animals that are hurt too bad to move always growl. And if they don't get food, they die in a couple of days.
Oh no, I couldn't let this beautiful man die!
I ran away immediately to find him food. It never took me long to find myself a meal. Just some mushrooms I know are safe and fish from the village preserve. Only one...they wouldn't notice one missing. I cooked the fish over a fire and refilled my water container.
My pretty friend was awake when I ventured to where I left him. I felt glad seeing him sitting up more, but he'd pulled off the poultices and torn apart the leaves.
I held out the leaf I used to carry the food. The hot fish made me hungry, but he needed it more. When he turned towards my offering, I saw that his eyes weren't actually red. They were gold with slits for pupils. I'd never seen eyes more beautiful than the ones that now stared at the meal I offered. Maybe he couldn't move to get it. I got closer until the fish and mushrooms were almost under his nose. He leaned away from it, curling his small lips until I saw the tip of a shiny fang.
I cocked my head and held up the leaf until the fish meat touched his bottom lip. Come on, open your mouth and take a bite. It's good for--
Suddenly, his right arm flew up, slapping the food out of my hand. More startled than hurt, I stumbled and scooped everything back onto the leaf. Was he senseless from pain?
Before I could offer the food again, he rasped, "Mind your own business. I don't like human food."
He could talk...
I ate the fish and mushrooms myself. He didn't like human food? Could it be he just didn't like his food cooked? Would raw fish suit his taste? I had to try before he got too weak from hunger!
I patted his hand to tell him I'd be right back. He ignored me.
Night was falling. It took me until well after dusk to reach the village. I tucked the bottom of my kosode into my obi and rolled up my sleeves. The cold water made me shiver. I concentrated on the shimmers of fish swimming around my legs, and when one came close enough, I snatched its floppy body in my hands! So easy! Mama taught me how to stand still and strike like a snake.
Torchlight lit the water. I jerked my head towards it just in time for a fist to meet my face. The blow almost knocked me onto my knees.
"Rin!" One of the men yelled, and his face twisted like a monster. "So you're the culprit!"
His shorter friend yanked me from the water. "Greedy brat!" He threw me on the ground and kicked me until my side hurt. "Fucking taking from the fish pond as you please!"
Another man yanked me up by my kosode. He punched my cheek and blinding pain shot through my eye. His smelly breath blasted my face. "Because we felt sorry that you had no relatives, we raised you in the village and this is the thanks we get?"
He threw me down and somebody with sharp tabi kicked my back. More fists beat against me, but I didn't cry out.
The first man yanked me up once again. He hit me across the jaw while somebody punched the back of my head, snarling, "Do it again and we'll kill you!"
I could hear them talking about me as I limped away. Tears poured down my bloody face. I couldn't open my right eye and my mouth throbbed. They've beaten me before for stealing, but this time I think I lost a tooth. My toes caught on a rock because I was limping. I fell, adding insult to injury, and when I hit the ground I saw two dead field mice on the path. They were food. I've eaten dead mice before and they taste good crisped over a fire. Maybe the pretty man would eat them raw. I tucked the dead mice into my obi as I limped into the forest.
It took until morning to reach my new friend...he was asleep again, but woke up when I rattled a bush. I limped up to him, held out the dead mice like an offering and waited.
He turned his face away and snapped, "Don't bother."
Defeated, I sank to my knees. I got beaten up for his sake. My face hurt, my ribs ached, I hadn't slept and I had no tears left. Crying meant making noise, and making noise made bad things happen.
Nobody cared about me. The men in the village fed me...sometimes...but mostly they beat me up when I took fish or vegetables. I missed Mama and Papa, I missed my brothers, I missed--
"What happened to your face?"
He didn't growl that time. He'd talked...and he had a nice voice.
I lifted my head up to make sure I didn't dream it. I wanted so badly to tell him. I even opened my mouth, but I could not find my voice. Trying to speak after so long hurt. I was scared.
He tilted his head when I didn't answer. His lips parted again, "You don't have to say if you don't want to."
Then the pretty man looked at me. He never did that before. He'd gazed at the food I brought, but never at me. It felt so nice to be acknowledged as something more than a pest and a menace. His eyes stared through me, and the world as I knew it stood perfectly still. I saw myself in his golden irises. I saw the future, and in it I walked always with him.
He could have easily killed me when he first sat up, yet he didn't. Even a badly injured animal can bite and maim...but this pretty man didn't hurt me. Not when I came close, not when slapping food away from my hands...
And...he seemed to care. Nobody else inquired about my bruises or limp. Nobody else stopped to ask if I was in pain.
I smiled for the first time in...I can't remember. He raised a thin eyebrow at me. I tried to check the slash on his shoulder, but he pushed me away.
"I'm fine. I don't need your help. Go away."
Maybe his wounds still stung. I decided I'd go back to the village and get him some berries. The juice was good for anybody who got hurt, and I had a ton hidden in a box in my hut. I giggled and danced all the way home...
...and somebody was stealing my food!
The hideous pointy eared man wore brown fur on his shoulders. He turned and I saw he only had one eye.
"What?" He barked, "This shack is your home, huh?"
Noises made me turn around. Just in time for me to see a wolf devour a man alive. My mind instantly flashed to those buried memories of Mama's hair sticky with blood and Papa slumping lifeless against a knife.
The ugly person said something about being found. He pushed me away as he ran out into the village. A younger man with black hair and armor caught him in the water. The wolves listened to this one. Both the ugly man and the wolf leader talked too soft for me to hear. I saw the ugly man give the other one something purple.
Then the younger person tore the head off the ugly one. I shrank back when the head landed near my feet in a spray of blood.
And then the wolves attacked the village!
The sounds of sharp fangs meeting flesh, the blood gushing, the screams...I covered my mouth and fled. Snarling followed me into the woods. I ran for the pretty man. He would protect me, wouldn't he? If I could get to him...if I could just run faster!
I lost my footing. Something grabbed my leg. Teeth sank into my arm and shoulder. I felt something land on my back. My own warm blood covered the dirt, and I started to feel sleepy.
Pretty man...I'm sorry I can't take care of you anymore
.Then I felt a burning in my throat. Pain, so much pain! If I could just--
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--breathe...
Darkness rushed away. I opened my eyes to the moon. No, not the moon...a blue crescent...
The pretty man!
He held me pressed to his chest. I heard his heartbeat and the swish of his breathing. His body felt so warm and safe. He stared down at me in what seemed to be veiled surprise.
I didn't feel pain. I could see through both of my eyes. All my teeth were in my mouth where they belonged. I thought those wolves ate me alive!
...was this the Netherworld? Did the pretty man die of his wounds?
"Eh?! She revived?" said a whiny voice near the pretty man. It was a little toad person with green skin and a pointy mouth. "Er, but, Lord Sesshoumaru! You saved that girl with the Tenseiga?"
So I was alive, and the pretty man's name was Lord Sesshoumaru? A lord! A prince, a nobleperson! That meant he probably had a castle somewhere and could take me away from the mean village men!
Lord Sesshoumaru helped me stand up. He stepped past me on the path, and I noticed he walked gracefully like his feet didn't quite touch the earth. Without even a thought, I followed him, running to catch up. The little green guy wasn't far behind.
"Lord Sesshoumaru!" The green man yelled, "Are you going to let that human follow us?"
"Be silent, Jaken," Lord Sesshoumaru said without turning around. "Let her do what she wants."
And so we walked. We walked and walked until my feet ached from carrying my weight. I soon realized we were in a meadow I'd never seen before.
"Where did you leave Ah-Un?" Lord Sesshoumaru questioned Jaken.
"Right there, by the tree."
Just like anybody rich and noble, Lord Sesshoumaru had a steed. I ran excitedly ahead to see the pretty horse...and was very startled to find a two-headed grass eating dragon instead!
"Ah-Un won't harm you," Lord Sesshoumaru said to me.
I touched the dragon's scaly flank, smiled and tilted my head to gaze up at him. Lord Sesshoumaru looked so pretty in the full sunlight. His hair shimmered and I saw the threads of his kimono glistening ever so slightly. I was sure he looked even more wonderful with new clothes and clean hair.
Lord Sesshoumaru suddenly bent down until our faces were a few inches apart. He took my chin in his thumb and forefinger and turned my head slightly to either side. Then he lifted my chin, studying my throat.
"No scars, huh? Why won't you speak?"
"Eugh! Lord Sesshoumaru, why are you acknowledging this creature?"
Lord Sesshoumaru let go of me. He stood up, ignoring Jaken, and lifted me onto the saddle of Ah-Un. Then he began to walk further into the meadow. Jaken rushed to join him. I gripped the reins on the dragon without thinking while it followed them. I didn't know where we were going or how long it might take to get there...but that didn't scare me. I laid my head down on the horn of the saddle while Ah-Un trailed behind Jaken and Lord Sesshoumaru.
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The dark of night greeted me when I woke up. When did I fall asleep? I rubbed my eyes and found a campfire going with two fish on a stick, waiting for me. The smell turned my stomach over, and I quickly ate them. With my belly full, I sat back to take in my surroundings.
All around me was a forest different than the one next to the village. The trees grew thicker and bigger and I could barely see the paths amidst the shrubbery. Grass tickled at my feet. I could tell not many walked these lands, as I didn't see a lot of ruts. Usually wagons and feet wore away the grass where people often traveled.
Then came the proof that I hadn't dreamed everything--Ah-Un lay stomach-to-the-ground like a cat with Jaken sitting nearby. Lord Sesshoumaru was nowhere to be seen.
I needed to pee, so I glanced at Jaken and wandered a little ways away towards the bushes.
"Where are you going?" Demanded the little toad.
I crossed my legs and held myself, desperate for him to let me go. He saw my plight, sneered and turned away. I guess it was okay, so off I went a good ways in where he wouldn't see me. As I finished, I stared up at the trees looming over me. They grew really tall here. Maybe they could touch the sky!
One tree had a lot of vines growing around it. The vines had little red flowers that looked like poisonous toothy mouths, but the mushrooms between the roots weren't dangerous to eat. I gathered the mushrooms, wiped the dirt off and gobbled them up. Would Jaken like some, too? Maybe he was grumpy because he felt hungry and I ate all the fish. I had to make it up to him. Off I went deeper into the foliage.
My foot caught on a thick vine I hadn't seen. Like it stretched into my path when I wasn't watching. I regained my footing. The vine came back! All of a sudden my legs were yanked out from under me. The vines dragged me towards a large thorn bush with gnashing yellow teeth in the center of its large, red blossom! Oh no! I couldn't escape!
Mama told me if thieves will kill me if I say a word. Lord Sesshoumaru wouldn't let that happen, would he? He saved me from the wolves!
The vine creature pulled me closer. If I didn't do something now, I knew I would never do anything else again!
Gripped by fear, I pulled in a deep breath and found my voice.
"LORD SESSHOUMARU!"
A ball of light crashed through the trees without cutting them down. The vine monster dissolved in a green flash. Then the light faded and there stood Lord Sesshoumaru in clean clothes and brand new armor. He brought the sun with him--and I watched in awe as the morning's first rays glowed on his pale skin and silver hair. There is nobody in the world prettier than my Lord Sesshoumaru!
I ran to him and grabbed the leg of his hakama, hiding my face. Lord Sesshoumaru grasped the back of my kosode and tugged slightly without hurting me. I stepped back, obeying his silent signal. He pulled something from under his chest plate, dropped it at my feet and strolled towards Jaken and Ah-Un. I looked down at an orange and yellow kosode that was still warm from his body heat. The one I currently wore had become all bloody and torn. I discarded it and immediately dressed in the new one. It went almost to my ankles! It fit me! I wasn't cold anymore!
Laughing, I ran back to camp where Lord Sesshoumaru perched on a tree stump.
"Thank you, Lord Sesshoumaru!" I chirped. I wasn't afraid to use my voice anymore. He wouldn't let bad things happen to me because I talked. I didn't have to be silent ever again! "It fits me really nice."
"Oh, she speaks now?" Jaken looked up. I remembered the mushrooms I wanted to get him, but it was too late now. The animals were waking up and probably ate them already. I could get more for him later.
Lord Sesshoumaru stopped gazing at the sunrise, but I could still see the sun's reflection in his amber eyes. He was so pretty...prettier than any person I'd ever met. Would his smile be even more amazing? I hope I'll find out in the future, because someday I will make him smile. I know it. Somehow, someday...
"Lord Sesshoumaru, you aren't human, are you?" I asked him.
"I am a dog demon," he replied. His deep, smooth voice sounded cold, but I realized maybe it was just the way it always came across no matter how nice he tried to talk. I liked hearing him speak.
Without taking his eyes off me, he went on to ask, "Little girl, do you have a name?"
"I'm Rin," I said softly, and bent forward in a proper bow.
Then I waited for the questions that always hurt.
Why are you all alone, Rin? Where are your parents? Oh, that's so sad...when did this happen? Do you have anybody else to
--"Hn."
I inclined my head a little to peek at him through my bangs.
Lord Sesshoumaru was still looking curiously at me, but no further questions graced his lips at all. He'd heard my answer, accepted it and perhaps saw fit not to trouble me with my past, and for that I was grateful. He turned back to the sunrise, beautiful and shimmering as the wind played with his long hair. When the sun shone on his whole body, he got up and started northward.
"Lord Sesshoumaru?"
"Yes?"
"May I come with you?"
I saw his shoulder shrug, though he didn't stop or slow down. The wind carried his answer back to me, "Follow me if you so choose."
I smiled, my heart as warm and bright as the sun. "Yes, my Lord!"
Lord Sesshoumaru glanced over his shoulder when I said that. Then he faced forward and kept walking. Jaken grabbed Ah-Un's reins and scrambled to catch up.
I didn't know where they were going. I didn't know anything about Lord Sesshoumaru, and he didn't know anything about me. But I wasn't scared. Nobody got through life without taking chances. He wouldn't let anything bad happen to me ever again, anyway. He gave me my life back when he didn't have to. Every breath I've taken since I awoke against his chest is a gift. Every beat of my heart is also his. I will live my new life at his side always and forever. That will be my gift to him.
Without another thought, I raced to follow at the heels of my Lord.