Disclaimer: All characters pertaining to Instant Star belong to whom ever they belong to. That's all.

-1-

I've always imagined what my life would be like if I hadn't won that contest; the contest that had caused my life to spiral into sold out concerts, screaming fans and a bank account that makes my older sister jealous. I often wonder what I'd be doing. I imagine myself finally in senior year linking elbows with my best friend Jamie as we walk down the halls of Carson. I'd still be friends with Kat and we'd sip our Tim Horton's double-doubles before class started, and then stumble into school realizing that we were just a little bit late for Mr. Emerson's chemistry class. He'd grumble a 'nice of you to show up' to us both and we'd sit in our designated seats blushing in our tardiness. I would most certainly spend my days tapping the eraser of my pencil on the corner of my desk as I daydreamed that I actually spent my days with someone like Sting writing songs that would change the world.

I have imagined my life in many different scenarios these past few years. One scenario involves a guitar and a secluded beach, just me and my music. I think of the wind blowing through my hair, catching sand in the tangles and the breeze whistling in tune with a song I had written for that impervious love; this being one of my more fairytale dreams that reminds me of birds braiding Cinderella's hair in the morning. Another involves a thirty year old me still undiscovered, singing on the streets of New York with my guitar case open, waiting to hear that clanging of change as the day edges by; a thought that I try not to think of too often because of its obvious melancholy sequence.

But the most improbable, most unbelievable scenario that I would never in my life think would happen is being here. Right here. But I love every moment of it.

The sun shines through the white, semi-translucent curtain and I close my eyes listening to the birds chirp in the early morning hours. It's a different sound though. Nothing I've heard before. The birds aren't merely chirping…they are singing. It's so beautiful, so poetic, that I almost think they're singing to me…for me. For my current state of content.

And then he moves causing the sheets to rustle between us. He's facing me now but his eyes are still closed. A small snore escapes his throat and all I want to do is kiss him. But a kiss on the lips first thing in the morning doesn't seem so appealing to me, and probably to him, so I decide to kiss his neck. Small, short pecks up and down his neckline. I hear him groan and his eyes flicker open. I smile.

"Good Morning," he says smiling back at me. His eyes are piercing and I am rendered speechless. He laughs lightly at my inability to say anything and buries his face into my neck as he holds me close to him. I can feel the curves of our bodies pressed together. We are a perfect fit. I wrap my arms around him and close my eyes feeling his soft lips press against my shoulder.

"I'm going to take a shower," he says, and I groan not wanting to let go. So I don't. He chuckles softly and takes my hands in his, "Jude, I'll just be a minute. I promise," he says getting up off of the bed. He is shirtless, and clad in his black Versace boxers. I can see the imprint of a golden bulldog embossed on his right cheek.

"Want me to join?" I ask with a grin on my face. He shoots me a look like I'm crazy and I laugh lightly walking into the bathroom to brush my teeth and I hear him singing in the shower.

"I've been traveling around the world Waiting for you to come through. Someone like you makes it all worthwhile," he sings as I brush my teeth. 32 strokes in the front, 32 strokes on both sides. Suddenly the singing stops and I hear him brushing his teeth while in the shower. Something I've always found completely uncanny, but it's something I've learned about him that I love. Something unique. Something that no one else knows.

When I'm done I sit on the cover of the toilet seat and listen to him sing again.

"Someone like you keeps me satisfied. Someone exactly like you," he bellows from the top of his lungs. I shake my head when I hear him drop the soap into the tub, causing a low clanking sound to recoil around us.

"Jude?" I hear him call my name and I turn and see him peeking his head out from the curtain, water dripping down his face.

"Yeah?" I finally say. "I've been travelin' a hard road Lookin' for someone exactly like you," he continues and I find nothing to retort except to throw a towel at his protruding head.

"Hey!" he said throwing the towel back at me. It comes back damp, and I let it drop to the floor.

"Could you hurry up in there babe, we're gonna be late, and I still need to get in," I say loud enough so he can hear me over the shower. He tells me to be patient, like he always does and I tell him where to shove it.

Later, I decide to wear my phaa sin, something I picked up in Laos on our way up to Thailand and with it I wear a gold necklace sporting a star pendant courtesy of Thomas Quincy. The man that is right at this very moment, hogging the full length cheval mirror that we share as he tries to fold his tie to perfection.

"Soo, what do you think?" I ask him and he looks at me through the mirror. He stares a moment and I find myself getting a little self conscious, mechanically arching my back to slouch. But then he turns around, his mouth open wide. He's not moving again.

"Tommy," I say trying to snap him from his trance. "Is it that awful?" I ask putting my hand on my hip. Now anger seeps up inside me and I feel like slapping him.

"No! no. Not at all. Jude, you look great," he finally says and I smile in triumph.

I hear a knock at the door and I run to answer it knowing full well who it is. Our new friend Matthew Cove has come to pick us up. He's a rather tall man, muscular and thin. I tend to compare him to a younger version of Brad Pitt. But I learn never to say that in front of Tommy…anymore. He himself is also Canadian, and a free spirit. His father moved their family many times when he was young, and he found that the world was his home.

"Hello Love," he says while he flashes that goofy smile he always has and his green eyes are wide and alive.

"Matt!" I greet him with a hug, and let him into our hotel room. Tommy gives him a wave from our bedroom as he continues to fix his hair in front of the mirror.

"Let's go lovebirds, the Grand Festival awaits us!" he says in his announcer voice and he hands me an orchid, obviously picked from the garden at the entrance of the hotel. The smell is sweet and I decorate my hair with it.

"Beautiful"

Apparently, the Grand Festival is where all the tourists and citizens of Bankok gather in celebration of music and alcohol. I'm definitely in for both.

"Let's go then," Tommy whispers as he wraps his arms around my waist. His arms are strong against my body, and he holds me tightly. I feel slightly lightheaded at his touch and I lean back against him to gain my composure. Tommy usually doesn't go for the public displays of affection, so I take it in.

Downstairs we meet up with Jintana. Matt's very shy friend he met when he was a young boy during his many visits to Thailand. She is very short, small and tan and speaks just a few words of English.

"Goodt Mar-neeng" she says welcoming us in her best English thus far.

She leads us to two bicycles and Tommy hands our driver 50 Baht, and we're on our way to the Grand Festival. The ride is bumpy but Tommy holds me close to him as the wagon jerks us up and down. I would probably endure any uncomfortable scenario as long as I was in his arms.

During our 30 minute bicycle ride Tommy and I engage in our normal conversation of telling each other things that no one else knows. This whole trip we have dedicated our time in getting to know each other, not just in our music, but our lives. It was a casual thing at first. He'd spout out some random fact about himself and I'd look at him strangely for a moment before I accept that he's told me something about himself. Something he's never really done before now.

I have recently discovered that he is an only child and that his parents were both lawyers that never gave him the time of day, leading him into his rebellious childhood. I've also learned that he's had one great love in his life, Angie Jones. I have to say that I'm a little jealous of his stories of her, but I'm happy that he's even sharing that portion of his life with me; since it was such a sensitive subject to begin with.

He's telling me an Angie story right now. He's been grieving her all this time, and I think it helps him when he talks about her. This one's about the time he was sneaking out of his apartment via the bathroom window. He crawled out onto the fire escape and ran down the stairs, jumping into Angie's car making her drive out of the alleyway as fast as possible. The punch line was, he'd lost his shoe in the process and refused to back for it.

I laughed uncontrollably at his story and saw Tommy scrunch his face at me for doing so.

"It wasn't funny," he said pushing me closer to him. "I had to run around that night half homeless man, half chicken," he said shaking his head at the memory.

The tricycle stopped at the top of a hill and I looked around, shocked at what I saw. About a mile of people surrounded…well, everything. I've never seen this many people gathered in one place in my entire life. As we got out of the carriage I clung to Tommy and I heard him chuckle lightly as he wrapped a steely arm around my shoulders.

"Scared Harrison?" he asked with a smile that made me melt the instant I looked at him. Wait. Did he just insult me? Does he think that I can't handle myself?!

"Me?" I asked acting confused. "I'm not scared of anything," I finish smugly and begin to walk ahead of him into the crowd. In the corner of my eye I see a hazel eyed, dark haired man staring creepily at me and I suddenly feel a chill work its way down my spine.

"Hey lovebirds," I hear Matthew call nearby. I turn and watch him and Jintana climb out of their carriage and skip towards us. I smile at the pair and then see a glimpse of Tommy, instantly frowning at him. "The show is about to start. We better find a place so we don't lose each other. It can get scary out here so follow close!" Matthew is practically screaming his words as the multitude of people get closer and louder.

Matthew starts to weave through the people and I give Tommy one dark look and turn to follow. Before I even take a step Tommy has my hand in his and has me backed up against a tree, forcing me to look at him by lifting my chin with his free hand.

"What are you doing?" I ask completely stunned. I can feel my eyes practically bulging out of their sockets.

"I just want to make sure we're OK. I know I stepped on your whole independent woman thing. But you know I was just teasing you, right?" There's that smile again. Damn him and his lips.

I sigh and roll my eyes at him. "Yes, I know. And we're fine," I say finally bringing our lips together. Mmmm…soft, velvety, lips-that-are-mine lips. Damn him.

"We better go, before we lose them," Tommy says taking a step back and looking up to see Matthew's blonde hair bob in the midst. Suddenly music starts to blast and the crowd begins to cheer and I have to cover my ears and close my eyes to gain back some sense of balance. I feel a hand roll around my waist and I follow as it pulls me through the crowd.

"Do you still see him?!" I scream, hoping that Tommy had heard me but he moves quickly past people and I just assume that he's pushing his way towards Matthew. Tommy's hand grips my shirt roughly jerking me forward as he works through the crowd. "Ouch! Tommy, can you slow down a little bit?!" I shout, completely ailed by his grasp and I move my legs pointlessly as he moves quicker and quicker. What is his damn problem?!

I see him look back at me as I'm shouting all kinds of profanities his way. Wait. Hazel eyes…Tommy doesn't—

"Omigod!" I scream as I try to pull myself away from the creepy, lanky man but he has a grip on me stronger than a vice. I pound my fists aimlessly around him and he pulls me to him, holding me with both arms. I'm so disgusted I have to turn my head away. "Let me go!" I demand but he's barely bothered by my pleas. I am completely petrified as I'm being pulled around this place and my heart's beating so quickly I can barely breathe.

"Where are you taking me?" I scream again, but he doesn't turn around and the next thing I know, I'm sandwiched between this man and the bark of a tall tree. "What are you doing?" I cried as he put his hands on my waist.

"I saw you earlier giving me the eye. Don't pretend you don't want me," he whispered into my ear. The hairs on the back of my neck stood.

"Stop! No!" I scream. His hands are all over me and all I can do is slap his hands away. I can't even move my legs to kick him (which is exactly what I want to do) because he has me shoved against the tree so hard I can barely feel my lower body. "Tommy!" That's all I could think of to yell at the moment. That's all that's in my head. Please find me.

Finally I pry myself from this man and stop to kick him in the shin. Not the smartest idea because that gave him enough distance to grab me once again but I'm able to run away from him. When I think I'm finally safe I look around and all I see is a swarm of people, which doesn't make me feel the least bit better.

"Tommy!" I yell out again. My voice is drowned out completely by the music and the screaming people, but I keep screaming his name as I weave through the crowd. I can't believe how this day has turned out. It was perfect. I woke up in the arms of the man I love, I was in the arms of the man that I love, I listened to the voice of the man I love and now I'm alone and completely lost.

"Jude!" I hear my name being called and I turn to see Tommy shoving his way towards me. I quickly push my way to him and lock my arms tightly around him, tears streaming down my face. I can't speak. I can't move.

"Jude I'm so sorry. I turned around to take your hand but you disappeared. Those damn freaks wanted to get closer and pushed us apart"—Tommy stopped probably noticing how tightly I was clinging onto him and the tears falling from my eyes. "Baby, are you OK?" he asked apprehensive.

I contemplated for a moment, wondering if I should tell him what had happened. He'd probably freak out and hunt this guy down, but all I want to do is hold him and for him to hold me and never let me go. "I'm fine," I finally say without looking at him. "Can we please just get out of here?"

A/N: Sooo, did you like it? Cause if you did you should probably tell me so that I know if I should post another chapter.