I feel that I must put up a warning of un-characterized hatred. OneShot. As per usual, I only own the plot.
It was tearing me up inside and I could not stand it any longer. Standing from the bed that I was sitting atop, I had stalked my way over to the mirror that hung dejectedly on the grime filled wall. As I looked at the reflection of myself, my own eyes beyond blood-shot red and scowl placed firmly across my lips, I could not help the strangled sob that wracked my very being.
Before I knew what was happening I had punched my fist into the mirror and watched as the scattered shards of glass fell unceremoniously to the floor at my bare, cold and dirt covered feet. I felt the sudden urge to scream slowly build itself up inside my hollow chest so much that it hurt. I had to urge myself not to succumb to my inner minds will, just not yet anyway. I had been feeling the stinging in my hand for a minute or so and decided to look down at the damage. My hand was covered in blood and it was dripping from my fingertips to the floor of this room, the one that I had loathed for quite a while now.
I felt my eyes narrow and the urge to scream intensified. I saw my broken relfection in what was left of the mirror. No one could understand the pain that I have to go through, the constant milling about half out of my mind. I felt like a zombie but then again nobody cared. It would simply be too easy. I guess you could say that I was jealous of all the others. They didn't have a care in the world about what was going to happen the next day, what type of bull they were going to be forced to listen to.
It just wasn't fair! Nothing had ever been fair! What have I done to deserve this? Please tell me! I can't take any more of the foreboding feelings that have been lingering ever since this happened almost four years ago. I had felt the light die from my eyes and my true smile was hidden beneath the mask of a fake one that I was used to sporting for the past years. I was hiding behind a mask because I had made up my mind. No one cared what had happened and it was clear that no one would, so one day I decided to keep it all a fake facade and the sad thing is, it worked.
Everyone that I had thought to be close to turned out to be very unreal. I was shunned in the worst way possible. I was leered at, I was slapped, hypothetically, and emotionally abused. I was hurt in the one way that I thought I would never hurt again. That is when I decided to encase my heart in a world of pure, unadulterated darkness. My once pure demeanor, if you could even call it that, is now replaced with a look of indifference. A look that, if stared at for too long, you would be twitching on the floor in pure fear.
Everything I am going through surging through my veins like a wildfire was soon egging my actions on without my brain to process all of what was happening. I stormed over to the bedside table and picked up the hardly expensive vase and sent it flying to the nearby wall. I grabbed the lamp and it too fell on the floor beside the broken pieces of the vase. I stormed throughout the room, ranting and raving, cursing and shouting and throwing everything I could in sight just to release all of my feelings.
The hurt, the pain, the sadness and the anger, the hollowness and emptiness, but the one emotion that I was focusing on was the uncontrollable rage. I had to give up my life for people who were so un-tucking-grateful! That thought in itself sent my shaking frame into another fit. By the time everything was said and done, I had all but destroyed the room that I was in and boy did it feel good!
But just as that thought crossed my mind so did another one. 'You forget, you are all alone.' Just like that my world came crashing down upon me once more. That little voice was right. No one cared and no one would. That thought made my blood boil but there was little I could do. So, in the midst of my storm, I screamed. I screamed until my throat became red and raw. I could feel my fingers fisting themselves into my hair and my knees hitting the ground before all the tears had flowed.
I decided then, in that room, that I would try to put aside all that has been going on. All the anger and hatred, the ignored feelings I get when I am around people I am familiar with, people like my family. I have not realized it until it had already happened. I was lying with my knees firmly to my chest and I let all the emotions out, thinking that I had been alone.
I had been mistaken. For in that same room was the one person that could brighten up my whole day. He had come in to check on me after an in-fortunate incident with my so called friends and had found me a sobbing wreck. His eyes did not widen and he did not show any remorse or pity like all the others. Instead his bright orbs showed what I wanted to see.
Understanding.
My tenshi slowly walked to my frame, sat beside me on the messy and glass covered floor, and held me close. I was so close that I could feel his heart thumping abnormally fast inside his chest and I knew it was from the shock of seeing me at my weakest and the anger that the people I had once held dear were causing. All too soon I feel myself lose connection with reality and I drift into a dreamless fit of sleep and with one thought on my mind.
Thank you.
Please review and let me know what you thought. Kura-Kun.