Raising The Bar

By Ysidro

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Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or its characters.

A/N: I figured the Kwikspell Academy had to be located somewhere, with people running it. Thus, this is a story about the Academy, and how one greasy git of a Potions Master had to use its facilities. Also, I know Snape's head damage wasn't as serious as I made it out to be, but who knows? Anything's possible I suppose.

Also, in later chapters, I may introduce a love interest for Snape. If this does not sound appealing, then let me know.

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This cannot be right, was Snape's first thought when he reached his destination. Looking at the Muggle map in his hands and then back at the neon sigh in front of him, he sneered. It was 345 Huntington Street that was for sure. There is no way in Hell this is the right place.

After being hit in the head by a certain Miss Granger in the Shrieking Shack a two weeks before, Severus had spent a week if the Hospital Wing. However, having Madame Pomfrey fret over him like some sort of injured puppy, he had finally drawn the line and checked himself out of the ward. Apparently, the damage done by Granger had been more severe than he had thought.

Severus' magical abilities had all but left him. It seemed he had used the last bit of magic he possessed to take Granger, Potter and Black back to the castle. It was a waste of time and magic. He was as much use to Dumbledore now as a stupid Muggle. Even the simplest of spells had escaped his grasp, and his wand was as much use as a toothpick. It was like being a bloody Squib, except he had felt magic coursing through his veins only a few days before.

While discussing the atrocities of idiotic students with Argus Filch, Severus had eyed a suspicious-looking flyer on the man's desk. It was for a school for the Magically Deprived, Kwikspell Academy. The pamphlet was crumpled up in what looked like frustration. Since Argus had never cast a spell in his life, Snape assumed the endeavor was a failure.

But now Severus was desperate. He could not continue spying for the Order of the Phoenix if he could not cast a single spell. He would also be a very inefficient Death Eater if he had to kill other wizards without the use of a wand. Snape figured that Kwikspell was worth a shot; after all he had possessed magical powers two weeks ago. Now, looking at the Academy in the sunlight of downtown London, Severus was beginning to see why Kwikspell hadn't worked for Argus.

345 Huntington Street was a bar.

Severus sighed heavily as he pushed open the glass doors of the bar. The blue neon sign outside had read Toby's in large letters. Snape sneered in disgust as the neon lights flashed brightly for a moment, and then faded back to their normal dull glow. The place couldn't even afford decent lighting it seemed; perhaps con artistry did not pay as well as it used to.

A bell off to Snape's right sounded as he entered the bar. He scowled as he entered the building, not used to the Muggle clothing he had donned prior to going on his little excursion. Dressed in a white shirt, black pants, black shoes, and a silver and green striped tie, his attire resembled that of his old Hogwarts uniform. He had even tied his hair back, a few stray strands framing his face. He had dressed up for the occasion, hoping that someone of stature would be addressing him. He was ultimately disappointed.

"We aren't open yet," yelled a raspy voice from a room behind the bar. "Can't you read?"

Severus' eyes narrowed as he peered through the glass of the window. Sure enough, the operating hours were posted on the window, and he could vaguely make out the numbers. The tavern was obviously closed; it wouldn't be open until that evening.

"How'd you get in here anyway?" the voice asked as an older man walked into the room. "Did you break in or something?"

"Hardly," Severus sneered, striding over to the bar. "You're door was unlocked. Perhaps you should consider upgrading your security system."

Severus surveyed the older man behind the counter, the rows of empty glasses separating the two. He was average height, with grey hair, a moustache, and beard. In jeans and a rather rumpled light yellow buttoned shirt, he looked like a bartender preparing for the night ahead. This place was about as magical as a damned pencil.

It was the man's legs that drew the most attention to Severus though. The bartender walked with a cane, and his gait was surprisingly stiff. It took Severus a minute to fathom that the man had lost both legs at the knee.

"I see even my secrets need a little better security," the stranger said, smiling as he looked down at his legs. "Don't worry; they became martyrs serving my country a long time ago. Now they're just a pair of forgotten soldiers, mulling about the old days."

"I apologize for the inconvenience," Snape said, slightly embarrassed at his ignorance. "I was looking for a certain address and it seems as though I got lost."

"Let me see that," the man said, grabbing the map out of Snape's hand and peering at it. "I know this city like the back of my hand; I can at least give you directions."

"I was looking for 345 Huntington Street," Snape explained, pointing to its general location. He failed to point directly at the bar. "It's supposed to be some sort of school, but it looks as though the brochure misprinted the address."

"You going into a continuing education course or something?" the bartender asked, raising an eyebrow with interest.

"You could say that," Severus replied as the man studied the map. "I will assume you are the 'Toby' your sign mentions?"

"At your service," Toby saluted him mockingly. The man's sense of humor despite what he had gone through was surprising good. "And you are?"

"Alexander," Snape managed to say, the name leaving a bad taste in his mouth. It was his first name, his "Muggle" name, and he despised it with every fiber of his being. Besides, his initials left much to be desired.

"Well, the nearest school is a couple blocks away," Toby indicated on the map, circling a location with a ball-point pen on the counter. "But if you're looking for the education I think you are, then you're in the right place."

Severus raised a dark eyebrow in disbelief, looking around once again at the deserted bar. The tables were empty, with rod-iron stools on top. The floor was polished hard-wood, and the booths were upholstered in a red fabric. It looked like your run-of-the-mill bar. Then again, so did the Leaky Cauldron.

"Welcome to Toby's," the bartender winked as he gestured towards the room behind the bar, "the home of Kwikspell Academy for the Magically Deprived."