Yes, another kink meme fic (prompt: Tom/Shizuo - Tom and Shizuo's girl trouble talk, part the second). It's over on the DRRR kink meme too, one or two minor changes inbetween. This was fun to do simply because there's not nearly enough Tom/Shizuo out there, and Shizuo with Tom (or with Celty) is one of the few situations in which you get to write Shizuo as a straightforward but self-conscious dork instead of the Incredible Hulk in skinny bartender form. It's fun.

Anyways, as you could tell from the prompt, this one's a post-anime light novel based fic (don't ask me for the translation. It's the first thing that pops up if your google-fu is right). You don't need to have read the books to know what's going on (Tom and Shizuo talk about Shizuo's lack of sex life over lunch. Their first two lines are lifted right from it. Pretty simple, really), but it can help.

Also, most of the stuff about Shizuo and Tom's middle-school days is in reference to an omake that elaborated on their relationship (once again, google it. You'll probably find it on the same page as the vol. 5 novel translation). You're going to be seeing a lot of sempai/kohai talk, not just because of the whole middle-school relationship, but because it's roughly the relationship they have at work too (They're both working under a third guy. Anime-only fans might've seen him if they've watched ep 12.5) .

...Wow, that's a long author's note, isn't it. Let's just get on with the show.

"... Anyways, that's why I've never had a girlfriend."

"Don't worry about it too much. You'll find a cute girlfriend sooner or later. You've got a face like that top-idol brother of yours, after all," Tom said with a smile on his face. He reached across the table to put a hand on Shizuo's shoulder, trying to cheer him up. To his surprise, Shizuo quickly brushed the hand off.

"Don't lie to me, Tom-san."

"It's not flattery, Shizuo, it's true. I know it sounds stupid coming from me, but if we asked any girl off the street she'd-"

"No girl's gonna come within ten feet of me!" Shizuo's hands came down on the table as he shouted. A loud crack arouse as plates and glasses jumped nearly an inch. Rather than subsiding, the cracking persisted as a thin fracture spread from Shizuo's fingertips to the other side of the table's surface. Half the restaurant went silent and turned to see what the commotion was.

Shizuo went red when he felt so many eyes on him. He retracted his hands almost as quickly as he slammed them and, realizing how close he had come to breaking the steel and plastic table in half, hid them in his lap. He glanced around until he was sure people were no longer staring. Sighing, he continued. "Sorry, Tom-san. I know you're just trying to help, but I've never even talked to a girl before. Even if she wasn't afraid that I'd break her face for breathing wrong, I'd probably say something stupid and look like a complete dumbass in front of her."

Tom nodded in understanding. "I see why you'd think that would be a big problem. But don't worry, I think I can help you with this." He got up from his seat and motioned for Shizuo to join him. "C'mon, Shizuo," he said, "we're going to the restroom."

Shizuo blinked. "The bathroom? Why?"

"For practice!"

Tom spoke immediately when they entered the men's room. "Okay, Shizuo, check the stalls to see if anyone else is here."

Shizuo was confused, but he obliged. After a quick search, he returned to Tom. "What exactly are we practicing for, anyway?"

"I'm going to help you practice talking to girls. Now, pretend I'm a girl that you just met, okay?"

"...Wuh?"

Tom pressed his palm to his forehead, admonishing himself. "Oh, sorry," he said. "I guess I am doing this a little too fast. Anyways, what I was thinking is that you can get a little better at talking to girls by imagining I was a girl and trying it out with me. Y'know, roleplay. You okay with that?"

Now understanding the situation, Shizuo brightened up a little. "Yeah, I think I can do this... But, I ain't really sure I can treat you as... er, not you. I mean, I see you pretty much all day, every day."

"Hmm, I see your point... Well, we'll just have to make me not look like me then." Tom began fishing into his jacket pocket. "Shizuo, do you think you can turn around for a sec? Gotta get in character."

Shizuo shrugged and did as he was told. After a minute of shuffling, Tom's voice popped up again. "Okay, ready," he said. Shizuo took it as his cue and turned back to-

Woah.

Objectively speaking, the changes were very minor. Tom had taken off his glasses, as well as the jacket he was wearing. Much of his hair was pulled back into a ponytail now (was that what he was searching for in his pocket?), with only a few locks hanging free. His cheeks also looked a little red, though Shizuo was damned if he knew why (he probably pinched them. Probably). Really, Tom still mostly looked like Tom.

So why did Shizuo feel so very awkward next to him all of a sudden?

"I... uh..." It was very hard for Shizuo to find something to say, practice flirting or not. It's just Tom-san, Shizuo told himself. He's not gonna care if you make an asshole of yourself, so you should just relax and tell him how he has some really great cheekbones and- Fuck, that sounds stupid. Should I just introduce myself instead? That's what guys do when they meet cute gu-er, girls, right?... But I've never introduced myself like this before! Dammit, I should have never tried this stupid thing. Fucking Tom and his stupid fucking ideas and his stupid sexy face and-

Shizuo was snapped out of his internal ramblings by a scratchy, high pitched, "Say, gorgeous, has anyone ever told you that you look a lot like Hanejima Yuuhei?" It took him a bit to notice that the unnatural, Ms. Piggy-esque voice was coming from none other than Tom himself.

There was a pause. Then Shizuo burst out laughing.

Tom frowned (mostly) shattering the illusion. "Well, I hope to God you don't ever return a complement from real girl like that."

"I'm sorry. It's just -pfft- that voice." Shizuo attempted to stifle more laughter. He failed.

"Yeah, whatever." Tom was clearly not as amused as Shizuo was. He put on his jacket and glasses and headed for the door. "This whole thing was kinda stupid anyways. C'mon, let's get back to lunch and-"

"Wait!"

Shizuo grabbed Tom by the coat sleeve. Tom halted, turning his head back to Shizuo in confusion.

They both stood still for an uncomfortable amount of time. It took awhile for Shizuo to muster up another up anything more to say, his face thoroughly red by the time he did (those cheekbones were still there, dammit!). "I... er... I still kinda want to try this."

Tom sighed. "I'm not going to make an ass out of myself for your amusement, Shizuo."

"No, you don't have to act like a girl! Just act like... uh, yourself. I guess."

Tom raised an eyebrow. "Act like myself? C'mon, Shizuo. When are you ever going to be asking me out?"

"Um... right now?"

"Shizuo, I'm not exactly sure what you're..." Oh. Realization didn't dawn on Tom so much as it whacked him upside the head like so many of Shizuo's roadsigns. Something in the pit of his stomach jumped up a foot as it did.

Another pause. There seemed to be a lot of those going around today, it seemed.

"So... uh, how long would you say you've been crushing on your sempai, exactly?" Tom asked. Shizuo looked to the sinks and played with the buttons on his waistcoat in response.

"I kinda just figured out now, really" said Shizuo nervously. "It's just when we were doing that practice thing, something just kinda... happened. It's probably just me thinking too hard, ya'know, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to find out, right?"

"So this is kinda just a shot in the dark?"

"Yeah. Kinda"

"I see..." Tom pulled on one of his stray dreads as he trailed off into thought for a second. "I'm gonna have to sit on this for a bit. Shizuo, do you mind going on back to the table without me? You're milkshake's probably about to melt anyways."

"Oh sure. I'll see you in a bit then, I guess" Shizuo said with a sigh. The expression on his face was near-unreadable when he said this. Relief? Disappointment? Tom wasn't sure. As Shizuo left the bathroom, Tom took a deep breath.

Time to think.

Believe it or not, Tom actually had considered the possibility of his longtime kohai confessing his feelings to him before – particularly during middle school, when Shizuo had latched onto him like nothing else (Of course, whether the kid was actually crushing on him or just holding on tight to one of the few friends he managed to get, Tom would never know).

He also always thought it would be more a more dramatic occasion, should it have ever happened: planting a farewell kiss on him just as he was walking out the gates of Raijin middle-school for the last time, maybe. Something a bit more dignified that asking for a date in a public bathroom on a whim, at least.

He also always thought he would be able to let Shizuo down easy, should that moment ever come (especially in that farewell-kiss scenario – He wouldn't even have to in that one, what with it being their last day together and all). But now that his kohai actually was confessing his feelings, Tom found that he had no idea how to tell him no.

Did he even want to tell him no?

The idea of turning Shizuo down made him sick to his stomach. He didn't doubt Shizuo would handle it well (many would be terrified of Shizuo flying into a violent rage over it, but not Tom. Shizuo would not hurt somebody because of this. He especially wouldn't hurt Tom over it), but the man had taken so much rejection over the years. Tom didn't want to add to that rejection. Not when his request of an experimental first date seemed so small, reasonable...

Just a little bit tempting, even.

Most people would have the hurdle of Shizuo's volatile anger to deal with, but not Tom. Sidestepping all of his pet peeves and berserk buttons wasn't just easy, it came naturally.

And when Shizuo wasn't angry? He could be damn charming, if unconventionally so. He was simple, direct, sincere. He was grateful for even the smallest things you did for him (the expression of pure, undiluted joy he gave when Tom first dubbed him his kohai... Damn. Tom had done some stupid, stupid things over the years just to see it again and again). You always knew where you stood with him; when he liked you, he made damn sure you knew it – even more than he did when he didn't. As for the physical aspects... Well, whether Shizuo believed it or not, what Tom had said back at the table was no lie. Tom considered himself mostly straight, but Shizuo could be outright distracting sometimes.

Damn, he was spending a good deal of time gushing over his kohai there, wasn't he? Surely he was putting entirely too much thought into this.

Besides, dating Shizuo seemed so ridiculous! He was his kohai. They saw each other and ate lunch together every day. They talked about dumb things like movies or Shizuo's victim of the week. They swapped embarrassing stories and poked fun at each other in ways they would never let anyone else. They shared their deepest secrets with almost no prompting, on the implicit assumption that the other would just understand. Couples don't do shit like that.

… Oh, wait. That's exactly the sort of shit couples do together. Huh.

Tom took a moment to imagine just what it would be like dating Shizuo. The picture was... almost hilariously close to the relationship they already had, actually. Seven hells, it seemed less like Shizuo was asking him out and more like he was just asking him to realize they've already been dating for the last three years. Insert a kiss or two here, a sweet nothing there, more than a few incidents of Shizuo tossing a guy six blocks for daring to hurt his boyfriend, of course, and at least one night of tearing that weskit off of that impressively tall frame of his and... Ahem. It didn't seem like all that bad an idea, all thing considering. It actually seemed pretty nice

Certainly nice enough to be worth trying.

I guess that decides that, then. Sex might be tricky, though.

Back at their table, Shizuo was having an internal monologue of his own. It went a little something like this:

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit! I fucked up. I more than just fucked up, I came onto my sempai. I'll lose my job. I'll lose Tom. I'll lose one of the best friends I've had in my life. All because I lost myself over a stupid, fleeting moment that probably didn't even mean anything. Why did I even bother, anyways? I can't have a relationship with someone. I'd probably break their arm when they drink the last of the milk and... Oh God, I don't want to think about it. What if I did that to Tom? What if I go to far and finally kill someone? What if I kill Tom! Oh God, I just fucking destroyed everything I have here, didn't I? I should have never asked Tom. I should have never even thought about asking Tom. I should-

"Easy there, Shizuo. You're pulling up the table." Tom's words snapped Shizuo back to his senses.

"Ah... Sorry, Tom-san." Shizuo quickly let go of the already much-abused piece of furniture and looked up to see Tom standing right next to him (and he still had his hair tied back, damn him).

"Don't worry. It's light damage. They probably won't even realize it was you." Tom sat down with a casual smile, as if the table they were at didn't just narrowly avoid obliteration.

And also as if he completely forgot about Shizuo's ill-thought confession-slash-date request.

Should I be relieved? I think so, but... It certainly would have subsided almost all of his anxieties of the moment, just continuing on as if nothing happened at all. Still, Shizuo couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment.

"Anyways, I was thinking we could eat dinner at Yugai's. Somewhere a pit classier than our usual hangouts, what with it being our first official date and all."

...Wait, what? It was a good thing that Shizuo had already finished his milkshake. It would have probably tried to jolt through his trachea at that moment if he hadn't. "You're saying yes!"

"Why so surprised? You asked, didn't you?" Tom shrugged.

"Well, yeah, but it was a stupid, spur of the moment thing! You know that."

"So you're saying you don't want to do this? You're no longer attracted to me at all, and it was kinda just a weird fluke? 'Cause that's totally okay if that's the case, but I'm pretty sure it's not, isn't it?"

"No, but-"

"Then what's the harm in trying?"

Harm.

Memories flashed in Shizuo's mind. Bad ones. His first crush, a young bakery owner in glasses, in crutches. A girl in middle school, short-haired and a year older, with her arm broken in three places. An Osakan girl, here in Tokyo for vacation, sent home early with a concussion and dislocated shoulder. He'd never intended to hurt to hurt any of them. He was never even angry at any of them. Yet every time he let himself love someone, he'd try to help. He'd try to use his strength for them, to protect them and save them, only to lose control and make things worse. He didn't want to do that to Tom. He refused to do that to Tom.

Tom noticed Shizuo's trembling, and realized exactly what was going on

"You're afraid you're going to hurt me, aren't you?"

Shizuo didn't speak.

"Shizuo..." Tom shifted in his seat, bringing his face closer to Shizuo's. He places a hand on one of Shizuo's shaking arms. He looked him straight in the eye as he spoke. "I'm not afraid of that. Never have been. Never will be."

"But Tom-san, I-"

"You haven't ever raised a hand against me, Shizuo. Not in that year together in middle-school, and not in the three years we've been working together. I know you are never going to hurt me Shizuo. You may not have confidence in your ability to control yourself, but I do, and I'm going to do everything in my power to help you through this. You're not the monster you think you are."

Shizuo was silent, but the trembling had subsided. Nonetheless, Tom kept his hand on Shizuo's forearm and continued.

"Besides, you're not the only one who wants to try this out. I'm not saying yes out of pity. I like you, Shizuo, and I'm willing to try to find out just in what way I do."

A slight but very genuine smile tugged Shizuo's lips, pulling itself out from the fear and confusion. Shizuo let it. Tom gave him another, wider smile – just as genuine – in return.

"So... Does Yugai's sound good to you? For our first date?"

"Sure." Shizuo's response was strong this time. "But, can I say something first?"

"Oh, sure. Fire away."

"You're hair looks really nice like that."

-End-