Yen, Puberty, Stress and Misfortune

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING RELATED TO A CERTAIN MAGICAL INDEX

As Mikoto Misaka walked along the sidewalks of Academy City, she sighed in exasperation as the stress got to her.

"Damn it… I have way too many exams coming up this next week." Misaka grumbled as her mind wandered off to Gekota in an attempt to alleviate her burdened mind.

To elaborate, it is currently the first Wednesday of February and next week came the time of Tokiwadai Middle School Exams. In Tokiwadai, it has become readily apparent that despite the prodigious ojou-sama's getting high marks in the past, their lack of any homework has started to make them a tad careless with their academics. Though this may be extremely unheard of in a school of high stature such as Tokiwadai, it is still true that these students are young teenagers who sometimes let their minds wander and eventually get bored of constant lessons. Even these young ladies who are idolized by fellow peers and looked upon with glory and pride by their teachers are still subject to fall prey to boredom and stress.

"Hmm… Maybe I'll go play games at the arcade. I haven't gone there in awhile. Let me call and see if anyone's available to hang out with."

Though this doesn't mean that the Tokiwadai students are getting low marks. Quite the contrary actually. You see, the average percent of test scores in Tokiwadai that are A's usually jump around from 95% to 97%. But now it has dropped to 93%. Even though this may seem relatively minor, it is a HUGE decrease for Tokiwadai standards. So, due to the apparent "slight" drop in test scores, the staffs of Tokiwadai have taken it upon themselves to give two tests for every subject they teach every week.

"Ah Saten-san, are you free to hang out now? We could go hit the arcade and head to Joseph's after." Misaka asked.

"Oh sorry, Misaka-san, I have a couple of errands to run." Saten responded with a tone of heavy sorrow.

"O-oh, is that so? W-well there's no reason to feel so down about it. It's fine. You have stuff to go do right? See you later!" Misaka hung up after exchanging goodbyes with Saten.

"*Sigh* It's been a while since I felt this lonely, not since the incident with my Sisters anyway." As soon as she said that, Misaka's face blushed crimson as her mind raced to the heroic deeds of a certain spiky haired boy.

'W-wait, why am I thinking about THAT guy now?! W-whatever! I don't have time for this! If I go to Joseph's or the arcade by myself, I'll just feel lonelier. So, I'll just head back to the dorms and study I guess. Even though all the stuff on the tests is pretty easy, it's still a lot to take in and remember…"Misaka's thoughts trailed off as she went in the direction of her dorm.

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Touma Kamijou was in a crisis. What kind of crisis? A financial one to be exact.

"*Sigh*Such Misfortune… I only have 200 yen left for this week…" Touma groaned as he wallowed in self-pity with a dark aura hanging over him.

Index was in England for the rest of the week assisting with a conflict involving a magician where her grimories would be useful. However, with Index's voracious appetite only increasing since the previous week, Touma was starting to feel as if he should BEG Necessarius to provide him with more funds.

"Why the hell is she eating more than normal anyway? I thought that I was finally starting to get a grasp on how much she could eat. Such misfortune…"

Touma truthfully looked as if he was about to cry. Despite surviving World War III and the events at Baggage City, his financial situation seemed to be the only thing that was able to make him cry.

"No Touma Kamijou, this isn't the time to cry! At times like this, it's best to relieve yourself in a more… direct manner." Touma said hesitantly feeling a bit of shame for what he was about to do. You see, earlier that day during class, Touma was given a certain DVD by his friends Tsuchimikado Motohauru and Aogami Pierce.

"So Kami-yan, this DVD is said to be the hottest piece of porno to ever hit the Academy City adult stores."Tsuchimikado said grinning while holding out a DVD case that was labeled "Big ASSTiTs Galore! Conquest of the Amazonian Warrior Empire!"

"Yeah Kamijou, when I watched this video, I saw world of fetishes that even I never thought existed!" Aogami said with his voice raised in praise. This in turn caused some girls to turn away in embarrassment while some guys stared, thinking 'Damn, a world of fetishes that even the Fetish King doesn't know about? And of course Kamijou is the one that gets offered the DVD. Goddamit Touma Kamijou!"At that moment, the aura of the classroom seemed to shift to a more sinister feel.

Thankfully the Iron Wall girl wasn't present.

"Just shut up you idiots."Touma sighed as he still couldn't believe that his past self was friends with these two perverts. "And besides, couldn't you just pick up any random porno and be satisfied with them? They're all the same anyway, it's just sex."

Tsuchimikado and Aogami stood up with their mouths agape along with a look of shock and rage on their faces.

"Kami-yan… what the hell are you talking about? Did you just hear yourself?! You just generalized every type of porn! Tsuchimikado yelled and held a look of seriousness that he only ever held in times of conflict that involved the magic side.

"Honestly Kamijou, to think that you were this naïve… what kind of human being are you?!" Aogami shouted with a look of pure contempt.

"Look you two, I meant what I said. When it comes down to it, porn is just about people having sex since it's their job and they get paid for it. It's nothing special." Touma said, unfazed by the two's anger.

"You freaking bastard…"

"Nothing special…?!"

"Just having sex?!"

"Touma Kamijou, you are a failure as a man!" Kami-yan, you are a failure as man!"

"W-wait, what?" Touma said in confusion over his two friends' behavior.

"Kami-yan, you have to take this DVD and watch it at home. Once you watch this, you will learn the true signifying meaning of being a man." Tsuchimikado said while throwing the DVD in to Touma's hands.

"He's right Kamijou. If you don't understand the true beauty and imagery behind this porno masterpiece… then I'm afraid to say that we can't call you a member of the Delta Force anymore."

For some reason that didn't hurt Touma as much as he thought it would.

Following that exchange, Touma was stuck with the DVD and, hell since he had it in his dorm, who was to say that he shouldn't relieve himself every once in a while?

"Alright…I put the DVD in and made sure that the volume isn't too loud. I wouldn't want to wake Othinus after all."

Said Magic God was currently asleep in a miniature doll house at the other end of the room which Touma recently purchased for her.

"Though why did the DVD itself not have any images or anything? It just had marker on it saying the title… Ah whatever, knowing those two idiots, they probably got this in a rather elusive and possibly illegal way." Touma disregarded the oddity of the disc and pressed play from the remote.

Suddenly after a moment of blackness, the screen shimmered for a couple of seconds and revealed two very familiar looking silhouettes.

"Oh yes Touma. I love it when you embrace me with your broad and manly hands…" said the high-pitched voice version of a certain spy.

"Ah, yes, I can't wait to stick my plunger up your warp-pipe…" said the high pitched voice version of a certain Fetish King.

"W-WH-WHA-WHAT THE F^%$ IS THIS?!" Touma shouted loud enough for the dorm floor to hear. Touma Kamijou rarely ever cursed but in this case… can you really blame him?

"AND WHAT'S WITH THE MARIO REFERENCE?! IS THAT SUPPOSED "SIGNIFY" SOMETHING TSUCHIMAKADO?!" Touma continued to yell in frustration over getting trolled.

"*Sigh* Goddamit. I'm never gonna trust those two ever again…"

"*Groan* Huh? Is there something wrong human?* Othinus asked in her squeaky voice just waking up.

"Ah Othinus! N-N-No, nothing's wrong at all! I swear!" Touma lied in a half-assed attempt to appease the former Magic God's curiosity.

"Mmm-hmm, sure…" Othinus replied clearly skeptical.

"By the way, why are there two silhouettes grabbing each other's arms on the T.V. screen?"

"Huh? Oh!" Touma quickly turned off the T.V. and took out the disc quickly stuffing it inside its case.

"I-It's nothing Othinus! Just a movie! It's just a family friendly movie! Anyway, I'm going to go get groceries since there's a 200 yen special on eggs today! So… yeah see you later!"

Touma said while he quickly tied his shoes, put his jacket on and ran outside in shame.

"Human, you really are horrendous at lying…" Othinus said with a clear look of amusement on her face.

"But, I wonder what this is…

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In a certain dorm room next door, the sound of endless laughter could be heard.

"Onii-chan , is something wrong?" Maika inquired.

"Ha..haha, oh it's nothing to worry your little head over Maika-chan. I just realized that I got gold!"

"Hm?"

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At the same time in a different place

"Wait what the f***!" What the hell are you talking about?! There's no fu***** way in hell I'm going to become a goddamn sex-ed teacher!" Said a certain number one.

"Now now Accelerator, relax. I've heard that Tokiwadai wants to try implementing males on staff and they have a low number of sex-ed teachers in the first place. Their scores for sex-ed tests are decreasing too. And even though you're still young, you're quite knowledgeable and should have no trouble teaching this subject.

"I'm freaking smart in goddamn math and science! I don't give a s*** about sex-ed!"

"B-but Misaka thinks you'll be a good teacher Misaka says wanting Accelerator to become an admirable individual." Last Order said in a wanting tone.

"Y-yeah this Misaka agrees HAHAHA!" Misaka Worst struggled to say through her laughs on this situation.

"You two shut the f*** up!

"Please Accelerator, won't you do it for me?" Last Order said with puppy dog eyes.

"Ugh, f-fine. I'll become a s***** teacher! There, you happy?!" Accelerator said in an almost tsundere-esque tone.

"You really can't say no to Last Order huh?" Yomikawa chuckled.

"SHUT THE F*** UP!"

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"Hah, this sucks." Touma groaned while walking back to his dorm with a bag of eggs in his hand.

"Well at least nothing else wrong can happen today!" Touma said to cheer himself up.

However as soon as he turned a corner, he crashed into someone.

"Oof. Sorry ma'am. Are you okay?"Touma quickly stood up and reached his hand out towards the woman that bumped into him.

"Oh, I'm fine young man. There's no need to worry." Despite saying that though, she still grabbed his hand and stood back up.

"O-oh no!" Touma yelled.

"I'm sorry, is something wrong?" The woman asked with a worried tone.

"M-my eggs…"

"I-I'm sorry…?

"The eggs I bought at the super sale broke!"

Suddenly realizing the situation, the woman quickly apologized.

"O-oh I apologize young man.

"Oh don't worry. This is just a typical misfortunate occurrence in my misfortunate life. Hehehe." Touma chuckled as a dark atmosphere overtook him not for the first time that day.

Clearly baffled at his negative attitude, the young woman decided to help ease his thoughts.

"W-well it's just 200 yen right? You can go back and buy another dozen. Here, I'll even give you the change."

"No it's fine. I'd buy it on my own but I… I don't have any more yen."

"W-what?! You're broke?" he young woman gasped in astonishment.

"Y-yeah, I guess you could say that…" Touma sighed with an aura of darkened grief overtaking him.

Desperate to help out the young man, the woman decided to offer him a job opportunity that she's been tasked to offer someone.

"Well, I have an idea"

"Y-you do?!" Touma replied in an ecstatic tone.

"Yes. How about I offer you a job to work as a Tokiwadai janitor?" The woman asked clearly hopeful that he'll say yes."

"E-eh?! Why me and isn't Tokiwadai and all girls school?!"

"Well, we've been trying to implement more males in the system to make it friendlier and less isolated in Academy City. Anyway, I've been tasked with finding a man trustworthy enough to help clean the dorms of our students. You don't seem like a bad person and I think you'll get along well with our girls? So what do you say?"

"Yes! I'll take it, it's the only option I have! But what about school? Touma asked.

"Oh don't worry. You'll just have to do homework assigned to you from your school and you'll get the required credits." The woman responded. "By the way, you look a little familiar. Have we met somewhere?"

"Uh, I don't think so. And actually who are you? I mean you must be well affiliated with Tokiwadai to offer this job right? And oh yeah before I forget, my name is Touma Kamijou. It's nice to meet you."

" I am the dorm supervisor of the Tokiwadai dorms. My name is Shouko Mikane. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance." She said with a light smile. "Oh yes that reminds me that I left that staff member to look after the dorm and its students for a while…" Mikane trailed off.

"E-EHHH?! Dorm supervisor?!"

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Back at the Tokiwadai Dorms

"Onee-sama, what's wrong. You can't fall asleep? Shall I help you? hehehe" A certain teleporter deviously smirked as she got ready for bed.

"No Kuroko, I don't need help to fall asleep!" Misaka yelled as she lightly shocked Kuroko.

"Oh Onee-sama's love… How I've desired it so…"

"Geez shut up you pervert." Misaka said.

'Hmm, I don't know why but for some reason. I feel as if tomorrow is going to be a pretty hectic day." Misaka thought as she stared at Academy City's night sky.
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AUTHOR'S NOTES

So yeah, that happened. I plan to make things more serious at some point. But I liked the idea of starting it off in a light-hearted way. This is technically my second time posting on this site. My first post was also an Index story but I didn't like how it turned out at all so I deleted it. But I feel as if this story is definitely better than my last. Depending on how well people like it, I'll continue it since as soon as possible. But since school starts in two days for me, I'm not sure how often I'll be able to update. Anyway, see you guys later and have a fantastic day!

By the way, I just chose a random name for dorm supervisor.