Yo! Now, this is going to be slightly different than the other commentaries of the abomination that is My Immortal. ThatCrazyGirl15 and I, Luna333L, are going to both be commenting on this…erm…interesting fanfic. I'll be in bold italic, and she'll be in bold. Now, brace yourselves, and prepare to lose some brain cells!

Luna, brain cells is two words. (Shush….changing it….there.) But I forgive her, because she's read through this whole thing, possibly without any commentary. Now, prepare for My Immortal, hopefully made more bearable by our comments. Get ready for sarcasm and… well… Luna333L-ness.(Which is basically comedic retardation…oops…that wasn't politically correct…)

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) (Wow.) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) (Oops, the mental images are already there, darling) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. (I BLAME YOU!) U rok! (No, you don't, apparently.)Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life (Poor, poor boy. He should be more "deprzzd" than her). u rok 2! MCR ROX! (Dread Raven leaving… Dread it!)

Hi my name is Ebony (Wood) Dark'ness (No Apostrophe Needed) Dementia (Brain Disease) Raven (Bird) Way (Path. Wood No Apostrophe Needed Brain Disease Bird Path. See, isn't that a better name?) (Doomed. We're doomed. …Demented Dementia…By the way, how in the name of Merlin's saggy left…erm, Ron never finished the quote, but you get the idea...do you pronounce an apostrophe?) and I have long ebony black (Darling, ebony and black are the same thing. You wouldn't say you have "ebony ebony" or "black black" something, would you?) hair (that's how I got my name) (So you came out of your mama wit' long black hair? Ewww…) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid (Honey, limpid means clear….icy blue clear eyes! I wanna see that….) tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). (Gladly! Seeya! You're on your own, Crazy!) (Amy Lee: lead singer of Evanescence… right?) (In singsong voice…"IIIIIIII, DDDDDD, KKKKKKK!" Charming, my mom's throwing up downstairs. Her brain must be sensing this story, and is being violently ill from the HORROR!) I'm not related to Gerard Way (Oh, Word… It wants to change Ebony and Gerard's names to addresses.) but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. (Oooooh, incest! *wiggles eyebrows suggestively*) I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. (Uhm, defeats the purpose, doesn't it?) I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England (…*Cough*Scotland*Cough*) where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) (no, I couldn't, and I'm sad you did this to the Gothic community. You're not gothic, you're mentally unstable. *angry cat hiss*) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic (Ooooh, so INCREDIBLY goffick!*sarcasm*) and I buy all my clothes from there. (Wait, you're in the U.K., do they have Hot Topics there?) (No.)For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, (Don't care!) pink fishnets (not Goth, darling) (Emo, perhaps. Microsoft word! Emo is TOO a word!)and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, (I thought you had pale white skin.) black eyeliner and red eye shadow. (Just me, but… wouldn't black eyeliner and red eye shadow look horrible with pink fishnet?) I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining (Motha Nature's got TALENT!) so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them. (Such a wonderful little girl! Woah, long paragraph.)

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was... Draco Malfoy! (Le GASP!) (No… No! Not my Draco! Don't drag my Draco into this! Please…)

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly. (My Draco is not shy. You've already characterized him wrong! WHY?)

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away. (Wow. Just wow.)

AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!

I'll tell you, it most certainly is NOT! Oh, Hell, not even close to good, fang you very much. Luv ya, tho…don't slit my wrists or anything…*pats Hot Topic-Shopping, curse word-misspelling, human blood-drinking, fake-ass goffick on the head*

That's… it? That was the whole chapter? We don't even know why her friends called her or anything! Is that supposed to be suspense? Because, I'll have you know, I'll lose sleep over this.