THE CHRISTMAS PARTY
Maxwell Smart had just arrived at the Christmas party and was looking around the room for Agent 99, his partner, and secret love. She was also his best friend in the entire world, which was one of the reasons why he hadn't told her he loved her, he didn't want anything to jeopardize their friendship.
Finally, he spotted her, she must've just walked in. Come to think of it, she had told him she'd be a smidge late, but Max wasn't sure what 'smidge' meant so he didn't know how late she would be. He kept watching, and realized she was standing under the mistletoe. Did he dare?
He sort of pushed past the Chief on his way to 99, and the Chief turned and gave him a puzzled look until he saw where he was going, to 99, where else?
Max figured he'd only have one shot at this, so here goes… He walked up to her, and all she had time to do was smile before he kissed her full on the lips. He pulled back, smiling, and looked at her, waiting for feedback, I guess.
"Wow." She said, she hadn't realized that she was standing underneath the mistletoe. She looked up and saw it, then back to Max, "Wow." She said again. Max nodded.
She and him had come from a really back breaking (almost literally) assignment, and they're backs ached. "You want a drink?" Max asked. 99 nodded.
"Yes, I'd like that very much." Max led her to the punch table she shook her head. "No, the hard stuff."
"Well the punch is usually spiked," He stuck his finger in then tasted it, "Guess someone's slacking off this year." He watched as 99 held up the bottom of her blue evening gown, "No wonder she was late," he thought to himself, "I wonder how long it took her to squeeze into that dress." His eyes lit up.
She came back holding a glass, "Coming 86?" He nodded and followed her like an awestruck puppy. She walked out onto the balcony, and sat down on the padded bench.
"Why do you always sit on the balcony, whenever we go out to parties?" Max asked because she always went straight for the balcony (the 'hard stuff' was a new one though!).
She took a sip, "I just like the fresh air." She took another sip. "Mmm, this is good… you want a taste?" She held it out for him. He took it from her took a sip, and handed it back.
"Wow, 99, that stuff's pretty potent. Don't have too many of those." He told her as she downed practically the whole glass. Max had NEVER seen her drink before, and was unaware of how she held it… or if she held it, but he thought he'd like to stick around to find out.
"Max," the Chief appeared in the doorway, "Can I talk to you out here?" Max nodded and followed him.
"What's up, Chief?" Max asked lighting a cigarette.
"I hate to burst your bubble, but I'm going to have to put you and 99 on Clean-up."
"Why." Max pouted.
"Think back. Maybe you'll remember a little incident involving three gallons of milk, five cartons of ice cream and eight dozen eggs." Max thought about it for a second.
"Oh yeah!" He burst out laughing, "Oh, that was hilarious. Boy, 99 and I had fun with that one. Wicked fun." The chief gave him a dirty look, "Well it was."
"Well, that's why you're on the clean-up crew." The chief said. "Follow me, I'm going to show you where all the clean-up stuff is." The Chief led him by the wrist to check out the cleaning supplies.
"Aww Gee, Chief." He was really wishing he was out there with 99. He reckoned that neither of them would really want to dance, the last assignment left their muscles aching, but had never missed a dance and didn't intend to.
He knew him and 99 would just sit on the balcony and talk the whole time he liked when he talked to 99, she always had something interesting to say. Not to mention at these parties her V-neck dipped one of Max's favorite sights.
As soon as the Chief was done Max trotted back to 99 to take in the sights. When he returned 99 was licking her lips looking at a glass. Max looked down and saw three glasses (not counting the one she was holding). "Whoa, 99." He took the glass away from her.
"You're back." She said happily smiling funny.
"Geez, 99. Look at this," she smiled sheepishly, "How many of these things did you plan on drinking? And how come?"
"That's an awful lot of questions."
"It's two."
"Oh yeah."
"99? Can I tell you something?" He asked nervously.
"Of course, Max. You know you can tell me ANYTHING," She purred almost seductively. "You know, you can."
"Yes, well," He messed with his tie, "I… love… you." She smiled.
"Oh my god, I love you too." She thrust herself into his arms, "So very much. You're the best thing ever to happen into my life. And you know what else?"
"What?" Max asked poised for a kiss.
"Cats have tails." She laughed.
"Your drunk aren't you?"
She hiccuped, "Nooooo…" She let her voice trail off, and Max could see that she was gone… But did this mean that she didn't love him? He stood up to leave but she reached up and grabbed his sleeve, and pulled him down, with unbelievable strength, "Kiss me!" She puckered up.
"I can't… you're drunk. I could never take advantage of you." He tried to get up, but 99 wouldn't let him.
"But you would if I wasn't…" She smiled and laughed again, "oh, come on, Max. You know you want me. Don't you ever wonder, what I look like… underneath?" She stroked the side of his face, and he broke out in a cold sweat.
"99." He choked out, as she kept caressing his cheek. "I… I… you… underneath?" She smiled again. He laughed nervously.
The Chief walked out onto the balcony, "Hey Max? Nevermind your busy…" 99 had started smothering Max with kisses and licking the side of his face. He laughed nervously and tried not to enjoy it, but it wasn't his fault. 99's.
"Chief wait. Help me."
"You don't need help."
"Yes, I do! She's drunk, she won't stop! I can't get up."
"Is it that you CAN'T get up or that you DON'T WANT to get up?" The Chief knew how Max looked at 99, and this should've been his dream come true.
"But, Chief, I don't want to take advantage of her… 99 stop that for a second… Chief!"
The Chief turned to go back to the party, "Do the right thing." He said before leaving Max to 99 and his conscience.
"Max don't you think you ought to take your jacket off?" She pushed it off his shoulders.
"99, what are you talking about? It's like 20degrees out here," He pointed out, try not to Secom to 99.
"It'll heat up." She smiled seductively.
"I…" was all he could say before 99 grabbed him by the shoulders and kissed him passionately. She pushed him down onto the bench and he smiled nervously again, but willingly obliged. It would be easier to resist her if she wasn't so damn gorgeous he thought to himself, "99, you're sexy." He told her.
"You're more." She smiled caressing his cheek, and returned to her cheek/neck kissing/licking. He frankly couldn't believe 99 (the woman of his dreams) was currently LICKING his face, only wished she was sober. He couldn't take it anymore, he pushed her dress straps down and kissed her neck. "See? It all comes natural."
"No, no, 99. I… I can't take advantage of you, and I've made my final decision," He got up, she gave him a puppy face, "Sorry."
"Your loss." She laughed, "But I love you." She blew him a kiss.
"I'll go get you some coffee." He told her, "I'll be right back." He took a last look at her before rushing off to get her some coffee. When he got back she had fallen fast asleep on the bench. He picked up his coat off the ground and laid it on 99. He kissed her cheek, "Sweet dreams."
"I'm proud of you." The Chief said to Max appearing in the doorway.
"Sure…" Max said sighing and sitting down next to 99.
"I really am. Most men would've taken advantage of 99. She is gorgeous." He looked at 99 sleeping innocently on the bench, with her mouth hanging slightly open and her eyelids twitching every so often. She had always been like a daughter to him.
Max turned to look at her and smiled. "She is luscious isn't she?" He smiled again, "and you know what? I'm not sorry I didn't."
"That's because you're her friend. True blue. Believe me, if 99 knew what you did, she'd be grateful for having a friend like you. So are you going to tell her?"
"Tell her what? That she made an ass out of herself? No. I'll make something up." He stroked her hair, and sighed once more, "I love her so much!"
"You will get your chance to tell her, but take your time now."
"I don't plan on telling her soon, she doesn't love me… how could she? We're like beauty and the beast." He sighed a big depressed sigh, "Unless you know something… like if she loves me back or not? How 'bout it Chief?"
"Uh…" The Chief was trying to think of what to say… if he said 'yes' he'd break his promise to 99 about not telling. But if he said, 'no' it'd just crush Max's little heart. "I can't say… But of course the beast did end up getting Belle, didn't he?" He thought that would hint Max toward 'YES you numbskull. YES! She's totally head over heels flipping in love with you!' but it didn't. To max it said, 'Look kiddo, I don't want to hurt your feelings but she doesn't love you.'
"I understand Chief."
"Are you gonna wake her up?" He motioned to 99.
"Naw. I'm gonna let her sleep for a little while." He sat down next to her, "Don't worry, the cleaning will get done."
"Yeah, and I wouldn't be surprised if it took you all night. No exaggeration you should see the mess they made out there. But it's a small mess compared to the one you two made with the dairy products." Max winced, that was a BIG mess. "Good night Max."
"Night, Chief." And the Chief left. Max looked down at 99 who shifted a bit, but was basically in the same position. He decided he'd let her sleep, and clean the mess himself.
Max had drank pot after pot after pot of coffee, the effects stopped making him bounce around, but he was still very much awake. Around 1:30 he went out to check on his beloved. She was awake and looking around. She saw Max. "What time is it?" She rubbed the back of her head.
Max looked at his watch, "5:30ish."
"5:30! And you let me sleep?" She jumped up and dropped the jacket to the ground. She decided she'd reach down and pick it up. She had not known that her straps were down and gave Max a pretty good view right down her shirt. Max's eyes grew wide. 99 stood up abruptly, though still not realizing. "Why did you let me sleep?"
But Max was still a little awestruck. Last night he gave up his ONLY chance ever to see what she looked like underneath, but he wasn't sorry he didn't. "I…" He muttered inaudibly.
"Max? Are you listening to me?" He nodded, "Then why don't you say anything."
He held out a finger meaning 'one minute' finally he said, "I had to wait. Otherwise I would've said something stupid," then added under his breath, "and would've gotten my face slapped."
"What?"
"Nothing."
"So, what happened last night?" She rubbed her head again, I don't remember anything."
"You don't?" This surprised him, because the few times HE had gotten drunk, he remembered everything. "Well, how much do you remember?"
"I remember, something, about us kissing under the mistletoe, then it's all a total blur."
"Well," He wrapped his arm around her, "After that, you got a drink, and I got one too. It was very good punch. Um… I asked you to dance, and we danced for three whole songs, then you complained that your feet hurt. So we came out here, and I went to get you some coffee, and you were sound asleep. I sat down out here with you, because as far as I'm concerned the party just couldn't happen without you. So I took a little nap and then I had to be on clean-up. So I let you sleep."
"Max," she smiled and let him hug her tightly, "You're a wonderful friend." Though she hadn't said it, she knew something of what happened. She knew that she had come on to Max. That at first he laid back and accepted it, but in the end, he didn't take advantage of her. She really was lucky that Max was so wonderful.
"Hey Max?"
"Hmm?" He was caught up holding her in his arms he almost didn't hear her.
"I know I was supposed to help you clean up." She whispered, "And if there is ANYTHING I can do to make it up to you. Don't hesitate to ask." She smiled, and he smiled back.
"I'll keep that in mind."
Maxwell Smart had just arrived at the Christmas party and was looking around the room for Agent 99, his partner, and secret love. She was also his best friend in the entire world, which was one of the reasons why he hadn't told her he loved her, he didn't want anything to jeopardize their friendship.
Finally, he spotted her, she must've just walked in. Come to think of it, she had told him she'd be a smidge late, but Max wasn't sure what 'smidge' meant so he didn't know how late she would be. He kept watching, and realized she was standing under the mistletoe. Did he dare?
He sort of pushed past the Chief on his way to 99, and the Chief turned and gave him a puzzled look until he saw where he was going, to 99, where else?
Max figured he'd only have one shot at this, so here goes… He walked up to her, and all she had time to do was smile before he kissed her full on the lips. He pulled back, smiling, and looked at her, waiting for feedback, I guess.
"Wow." She said, she hadn't realized that she was standing underneath the mistletoe. She looked up and saw it, then back to Max, "Wow." She said again. Max nodded.
She and him had come from a really back breaking (almost literally) assignment, and they're backs ached. "You want a drink?" Max asked. 99 nodded.
"Yes, I'd like that very much." Max led her to the punch table she shook her head. "No, the hard stuff."
"Well the punch is usually spiked," He stuck his finger in then tasted it, "Guess someone's slacking off this year." He watched as 99 held up the bottom of her blue evening gown, "No wonder she was late," he thought to himself, "I wonder how long it took her to squeeze into that dress." His eyes lit up.
She came back holding a glass, "Coming 86?" He nodded and followed her like an awestruck puppy. She walked out onto the balcony, and sat down on the padded bench.
"Why do you always sit on the balcony, whenever we go out to parties?" Max asked because she always went straight for the balcony (the 'hard stuff' was a new one though!).
She took a sip, "I just like the fresh air." She took another sip. "Mmm, this is good… you want a taste?" She held it out for him. He took it from her took a sip, and handed it back.
"Wow, 99, that stuff's pretty potent. Don't have too many of those." He told her as she downed practically the whole glass. Max had NEVER seen her drink before, and was unaware of how she held it… or if she held it, but he thought he'd like to stick around to find out.
"Max," the Chief appeared in the doorway, "Can I talk to you out here?" Max nodded and followed him.
"What's up, Chief?" Max asked lighting a cigarette.
"I hate to burst your bubble, but I'm going to have to put you and 99 on Clean-up."
"Why." Max pouted.
"Think back. Maybe you'll remember a little incident involving three gallons of milk, five cartons of ice cream and eight dozen eggs." Max thought about it for a second.
"Oh yeah!" He burst out laughing, "Oh, that was hilarious. Boy, 99 and I had fun with that one. Wicked fun." The chief gave him a dirty look, "Well it was."
"Well, that's why you're on the clean-up crew." The chief said. "Follow me, I'm going to show you where all the clean-up stuff is." The Chief led him by the wrist to check out the cleaning supplies.
"Aww Gee, Chief." He was really wishing he was out there with 99. He reckoned that neither of them would really want to dance, the last assignment left their muscles aching, but had never missed a dance and didn't intend to.
He knew him and 99 would just sit on the balcony and talk the whole time he liked when he talked to 99, she always had something interesting to say. Not to mention at these parties her V-neck dipped one of Max's favorite sights.
As soon as the Chief was done Max trotted back to 99 to take in the sights. When he returned 99 was licking her lips looking at a glass. Max looked down and saw three glasses (not counting the one she was holding). "Whoa, 99." He took the glass away from her.
"You're back." She said happily smiling funny.
"Geez, 99. Look at this," she smiled sheepishly, "How many of these things did you plan on drinking? And how come?"
"That's an awful lot of questions."
"It's two."
"Oh yeah."
"99? Can I tell you something?" He asked nervously.
"Of course, Max. You know you can tell me ANYTHING," She purred almost seductively. "You know, you can."
"Yes, well," He messed with his tie, "I… love… you." She smiled.
"Oh my god, I love you too." She thrust herself into his arms, "So very much. You're the best thing ever to happen into my life. And you know what else?"
"What?" Max asked poised for a kiss.
"Cats have tails." She laughed.
"Your drunk aren't you?"
She hiccuped, "Nooooo…" She let her voice trail off, and Max could see that she was gone… But did this mean that she didn't love him? He stood up to leave but she reached up and grabbed his sleeve, and pulled him down, with unbelievable strength, "Kiss me!" She puckered up.
"I can't… you're drunk. I could never take advantage of you." He tried to get up, but 99 wouldn't let him.
"But you would if I wasn't…" She smiled and laughed again, "oh, come on, Max. You know you want me. Don't you ever wonder, what I look like… underneath?" She stroked the side of his face, and he broke out in a cold sweat.
"99." He choked out, as she kept caressing his cheek. "I… I… you… underneath?" She smiled again. He laughed nervously.
The Chief walked out onto the balcony, "Hey Max? Nevermind your busy…" 99 had started smothering Max with kisses and licking the side of his face. He laughed nervously and tried not to enjoy it, but it wasn't his fault. 99's.
"Chief wait. Help me."
"You don't need help."
"Yes, I do! She's drunk, she won't stop! I can't get up."
"Is it that you CAN'T get up or that you DON'T WANT to get up?" The Chief knew how Max looked at 99, and this should've been his dream come true.
"But, Chief, I don't want to take advantage of her… 99 stop that for a second… Chief!"
The Chief turned to go back to the party, "Do the right thing." He said before leaving Max to 99 and his conscience.
"Max don't you think you ought to take your jacket off?" She pushed it off his shoulders.
"99, what are you talking about? It's like 20degrees out here," He pointed out, try not to Secom to 99.
"It'll heat up." She smiled seductively.
"I…" was all he could say before 99 grabbed him by the shoulders and kissed him passionately. She pushed him down onto the bench and he smiled nervously again, but willingly obliged. It would be easier to resist her if she wasn't so damn gorgeous he thought to himself, "99, you're sexy." He told her.
"You're more." She smiled caressing his cheek, and returned to her cheek/neck kissing/licking. He frankly couldn't believe 99 (the woman of his dreams) was currently LICKING his face, only wished she was sober. He couldn't take it anymore, he pushed her dress straps down and kissed her neck. "See? It all comes natural."
"No, no, 99. I… I can't take advantage of you, and I've made my final decision," He got up, she gave him a puppy face, "Sorry."
"Your loss." She laughed, "But I love you." She blew him a kiss.
"I'll go get you some coffee." He told her, "I'll be right back." He took a last look at her before rushing off to get her some coffee. When he got back she had fallen fast asleep on the bench. He picked up his coat off the ground and laid it on 99. He kissed her cheek, "Sweet dreams."
"I'm proud of you." The Chief said to Max appearing in the doorway.
"Sure…" Max said sighing and sitting down next to 99.
"I really am. Most men would've taken advantage of 99. She is gorgeous." He looked at 99 sleeping innocently on the bench, with her mouth hanging slightly open and her eyelids twitching every so often. She had always been like a daughter to him.
Max turned to look at her and smiled. "She is luscious isn't she?" He smiled again, "and you know what? I'm not sorry I didn't."
"That's because you're her friend. True blue. Believe me, if 99 knew what you did, she'd be grateful for having a friend like you. So are you going to tell her?"
"Tell her what? That she made an ass out of herself? No. I'll make something up." He stroked her hair, and sighed once more, "I love her so much!"
"You will get your chance to tell her, but take your time now."
"I don't plan on telling her soon, she doesn't love me… how could she? We're like beauty and the beast." He sighed a big depressed sigh, "Unless you know something… like if she loves me back or not? How 'bout it Chief?"
"Uh…" The Chief was trying to think of what to say… if he said 'yes' he'd break his promise to 99 about not telling. But if he said, 'no' it'd just crush Max's little heart. "I can't say… But of course the beast did end up getting Belle, didn't he?" He thought that would hint Max toward 'YES you numbskull. YES! She's totally head over heels flipping in love with you!' but it didn't. To max it said, 'Look kiddo, I don't want to hurt your feelings but she doesn't love you.'
"I understand Chief."
"Are you gonna wake her up?" He motioned to 99.
"Naw. I'm gonna let her sleep for a little while." He sat down next to her, "Don't worry, the cleaning will get done."
"Yeah, and I wouldn't be surprised if it took you all night. No exaggeration you should see the mess they made out there. But it's a small mess compared to the one you two made with the dairy products." Max winced, that was a BIG mess. "Good night Max."
"Night, Chief." And the Chief left. Max looked down at 99 who shifted a bit, but was basically in the same position. He decided he'd let her sleep, and clean the mess himself.
Max had drank pot after pot after pot of coffee, the effects stopped making him bounce around, but he was still very much awake. Around 1:30 he went out to check on his beloved. She was awake and looking around. She saw Max. "What time is it?" She rubbed the back of her head.
Max looked at his watch, "5:30ish."
"5:30! And you let me sleep?" She jumped up and dropped the jacket to the ground. She decided she'd reach down and pick it up. She had not known that her straps were down and gave Max a pretty good view right down her shirt. Max's eyes grew wide. 99 stood up abruptly, though still not realizing. "Why did you let me sleep?"
But Max was still a little awestruck. Last night he gave up his ONLY chance ever to see what she looked like underneath, but he wasn't sorry he didn't. "I…" He muttered inaudibly.
"Max? Are you listening to me?" He nodded, "Then why don't you say anything."
He held out a finger meaning 'one minute' finally he said, "I had to wait. Otherwise I would've said something stupid," then added under his breath, "and would've gotten my face slapped."
"What?"
"Nothing."
"So, what happened last night?" She rubbed her head again, I don't remember anything."
"You don't?" This surprised him, because the few times HE had gotten drunk, he remembered everything. "Well, how much do you remember?"
"I remember, something, about us kissing under the mistletoe, then it's all a total blur."
"Well," He wrapped his arm around her, "After that, you got a drink, and I got one too. It was very good punch. Um… I asked you to dance, and we danced for three whole songs, then you complained that your feet hurt. So we came out here, and I went to get you some coffee, and you were sound asleep. I sat down out here with you, because as far as I'm concerned the party just couldn't happen without you. So I took a little nap and then I had to be on clean-up. So I let you sleep."
"Max," she smiled and let him hug her tightly, "You're a wonderful friend." Though she hadn't said it, she knew something of what happened. She knew that she had come on to Max. That at first he laid back and accepted it, but in the end, he didn't take advantage of her. She really was lucky that Max was so wonderful.
"Hey Max?"
"Hmm?" He was caught up holding her in his arms he almost didn't hear her.
"I know I was supposed to help you clean up." She whispered, "And if there is ANYTHING I can do to make it up to you. Don't hesitate to ask." She smiled, and he smiled back.
"I'll keep that in mind."