A/N: This story is cannon through season 9, but the cheating didn't happen, neither did the separation. In my Calzona one shot, "Hard Way Home," Arizona talks briefly with Sofia about overcoming her fear of flying following the plane crash. This is an elaboration of that; it focuses on several moments over a period of several years following the plane crash, following Arizona's recovery in relation to her fear of flying. I'm planning four chapters—this is the first. Thanks for reading!
"Callie, pull over. I want to drive," Arizona demanded shortly, not meeting her wife's eyes. Callie slowly looked over at her wife, bewilderment crossing her features, a single arched eyebrow communicating her incredulity at Arizona's request. "Um, I'm driving in the middle of a deserted highway at night. Do you really want me to pull over right now? Especially since just an hour ago, you wanted me to drive because your leg hurt."
Arizona rolled her eyes, scoffing at Callie in frustration as she crossed her arms over her chest and continued, "My leg does hurt, but your driving makes me carsick, and I'd rather have a sore leg than puke all over the car. Wouldn't you?" Arizona snapped back, turning her focus back in front of her. Callie pursed her lips, taking in a deep breath to keep herself from shouting at her wife—it had been a long day for both of them and she didn't want to wake their toddler, who after hours of wailing had finally dozed off in the backseat.
"There's a little town coming up in 15 miles. We need to get gas anyway, so we'll stop there. Will you be okay until then?" Callie asked slowly, with as much patience as she could possibly muster. Arizona was silent for a moment, but responded with a curt nod and a noncommittal, "Mmhmm." Knowing that was nicest response she would be getting, Callie turned her attention back to the road in front of her, hoping to ride in relative peace until they were able to stop.
When they pulled into the gas station ten minutes later, Arizona immediately unbuckled her seat belt and climbed out of the car, leaning up against the sliding door of their minivan, grateful to be breathing in the cold fresh air. She closed her eyes and breathed slowly as her nausea began to subside.
After Callie pumped the gas, she walked around the car, spotting her wife breathing deeply, massaging her leg just above her prosthesis. A wave of sympathy rushed over her; sure, Arizona had been surly and cranky all day, but she was obviously miserable and in pain. Plus, Callie knew she was nervous about seeing her parents for the first time since they'd visited her in the hospital after the plane crash.
"Hey," Callie said gently, placing a hand on Arizona's shoulder. Her wife promptly shrugged her hand away, reaching over for the keys. "We should get moving. It's already late and we still have a few hours left." Keeping her fingers gripped tightly around the keys, Callie cautiously floated her new idea, "I was thinking maybe we should get a room here for the night. We're all exhausted, and you're clearly not feeling well. Plus, I'd be less nervous driving through some of this ice in the morning."
Arizona shook her head vehemently, "Callie, we told my parents we'd be there tonight. And we have chains on our car so we'll be fine."
But Callie wasn't about to relent so easily, "We can call your parents from the hotel room. Come on, Arizona. At this rate, we won't be there until after 10pm anyway. We'll barely get to see them tonight before going to bed—"
"Yeah, and the Colonel just loves it when we change the plans," Arizona quipped back sarcastically, placing her hands on her hips in frustration.
Callie rolled he eyes with annoyance, "Well, since it was the Colonel who insisted that we come and visit them, even when I kindly suggested that it might be easier for them to come to us—"
"Callie, you know my dad's health hasn't been good. It's getting harder for him to travel—"
Callie actually laughed at remark, "Arizona, if you haven't noticed, it's harder for you to travel as well."
Arizona crossed her arms defensively, "I've always gotten carsick. And everyone gets stiff on long drives—"
"We're driving from Seattle to Salt Lake City because you won't get on a fucking plane!"
They both stood in shocked silence, stunned that those words had actually left Callie's mouth. Through the car window, they heard Sofia waking up, beginning to whimper. Arizona looked away, her eyes now focused on her shoes. Callie felt a wave of guilt rush over her; it was a familiar guilt at this point. It had been so hard since the plane crash. And yes, things were getting better, but there were still plenty of moments like this. She knew Arizona had been through hell; she knew that her harsh demeanor was partly a symptom of depression and PTSD; she knew that Arizona picked fights when she was feeling especially vulnerable. Which was why she felt so guilty when she snapped back. She felt terrible that she couldn't be better, more patient and supportive.
"I'm sor—" Callie began, but Arizona cut her off. "You're right. It is my fault." Arizona mumbled. Seeing her wife's hurt made Callie feel even worse. She almost wished Arizona would go back to snapping at her. "I never said it was your fault, it's just—"
"You don't have to sugar coat it. We've been in a car for over ten hours today because I'm too traumatized to get on a plane," Arizona provided coldly, "You're allowed to be angry about that." Though her voice was still cold and distant, Callie could see the effort her wife was making in her words. She knew Arizona was trying to leave space for her feelings too, to acknowledge that Callie was only human and unlimited patience wasn't a fair expectation.
Callie reached over, taking Arizona's hand tenderly in hers. She was encouraged when her wife didn't let go, "I'm not angry that you're not ready to fly yet. Babe, it's only been six months, you can take all the time you need. I shouldn't have blamed this… somewhat stressful day of travel on you and I'm sorry."
At that, Arizona smiled softly, "I mean, I have been a bitch all day. You can blame some of this stress on me." She chuckled lightly before looking up at Callie, her eyes tentative but warm, "I'm sorry, too. I know I've been awful. It's just—"
"I know," answered Callie, taking Arizona into her arm and holding her close. They stood like that for a moment until they heard Sofia's whimpering grow louder from inside the car. Pulling away, Callie made her plea one last time, "So what do you say? Can we please stay here tonight? We can have a pizza delivered to our room and watch a movie on demand and—"
Arizona leaned into her wife, pressing a kiss against Callie's lips, "Alright, Calliope. Let's head over to the hotel and get a room." She pulled away, taking the keys from Callie's hand and heading around to the driver's seat as her wife smiled in relief, "Thank you."
"But you're gonna have to let my dad know we changed the plan," she continued as she climbed into the car and turned the key in the ignition, "Because I sure as hell am not making that call." Callie laughed nervously as she buckled her seatbelt, "I suppose that's fair."