Nerves had you reaching for the necklace you always wore around your neck as you kept your eyes glued to the little figure running towards the swing set. You smiled as your daughter flung herself on the swings and started pumping her little legs hard to get going. She was fearless and not a care in a world. She reminded you so much of her father. Every time you looked at her and she would smile up at you with those beautiful green eyes you would see him . It nearly broke your heart but you never let her see it.
So that why you were standing here on a sunny afternoon watching Grace play as you waited , You were suddenly aware of someone walking up behind you . You turned and couldn't help the smile that pop on your face as you stood up
" hi ya Sam " you said as you were pulled into a warm hug. " how have you been ?" he asked as you guys sat back down on the bench . " I am ok. you told him . He nodded turning his head to look out at the playground.
" Is that her ?" he asked looking as Grace slid down the slid. You nodded and then called Grace over she came running over her little cheeks red from all the running.
"Did you see me mommy did you " she said lunching herself at you . You laughed and pulled her onto your lap. " I did see you your sooooo brave " you said. You turned around so she could face Sam
He smiled at her and she suddenly she leaned into you a little bit shy " Grace this " you looked up at Sam and he nodded so you contiuned " this is your uncle Sam " you told her softly.. She looked up at you and then back at him.
"How old are you grace ?" he asked softly She sat up a little straighter " I am 4 years old " she said holding out her hand with 4 fingers up " wow you are a big girl " he said she nodded a very serious look on her face " I help mommy " she said and you smiled " yes you do " you said giving her a kiss.. " now go play some more before we have to leave. " you said and let her slid off your lap .. She turned to Sam "Watch how high I can go on the swings " she asked him
" sure thing show me " he said grinning as she ran off to the swings
" She looks just like him.. There no doubt she is his daughter " he said You sigh.. "I Know " you replied. " how is he ?" you asked looking at Sam
He sigh .."Better now that he doesn't have the mark anymore " he replied you nodded "That good I was really worried about him " you said looking down at your hands. " he didn't mean those things he said that night " Sam said
" it wasn't him it was the mark " he added.
"I know but at that point I was pregnant and I was afraid .. Not of Dean just of what he could become " you said not sure if that really made sense.
You sigh " I just want him to know his daughter.. I am not in this for me .. I accept a long ago that me and him weren't meant to be " you chocked at the words at bad those words sounded coming out .
Sam looked at you with a " yeah right " kind of look but didn't comment. "So how do you think he going to react ?" you asked . He just shook his head.. " I don't know ..he never said one way or the other about how he felt about having kids " he replied
He turned and looked at you " but I can tell you something.,, "He never been with anyone like he was with you .. Even now with things settled down in the world of the supernatural he doesn't do relationship just one night stands " Sam said.
" I think it just because he still loves you " he said . You sigh " I wish I could believe that Sam I really do " you replied and he just sigh.. "Well for now at least your right about he needs to know his daughter " he said and you nodded.
" just come by the bunker this weekend I will let him know your coming but I wont say anything about grace " he said you nodded your heart racing at the though of seeing Dean again.
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"Mommy were are we ?" Grace asked a you helped her out of her car seat and out of the car. You bent down to her level and gave her a smile. "We are visiting uncle Sam remember him from the park" you said and Grace nodded grabbing onto your hand you fixed her little blond pony tail and pulled her into a hug. " we are going to be meeting someone very special today " you explained and the little girl nodded . You looked at your daughter and knew that once dean saw her he would know.
.
" I promise you everything is going to be ok mommy loves you " you told her.. She smiled big .. " I love you too mommy " she replied. You stood up and with Grace clinging to your hand you headed towards the front door of the bunker.
It had been awhile since you been here. You thought about that last night .. Leaving this place .. Putting your bags into the trunk of your car crying as Dean was just watching you go drinking a beer like he did not care .
You pushed the though away and knocked on the door. Sam opened the door grinning " hi there guys " he said you smiled " hey Sam " you looked down at Grace " what do you say ?" you asked
" hi " she said softly. He bent down "I hear you like ice cream " he said and you laughed as your daughter 's head shot and nodded eyes growing wide. " I like chocolate ice-cream " she said .
Sam nodded " I do too " he told her " if you are a good girl and mommy says it ok then we will have some " he said Grace looked up at you " please mommy " she said tugging at your hand. You smiled sure sweetie in a little bit ok ?" you said
Sam stood back up and let you guys in.. "Cas is here " he said and you grinned knowing you would be seeing the angel again. Sam led you down the steps .. Your heart was racing so hard you felt like you were going to throw up
As you reached the last step you heard your name and Cas appeared. Looking like he always did.. He pulled you into a hug.. " I missed you " you said .. " you could have always prayed " he said pulling back
" yeah I know..' you said and stepping back you introduce him to Grace .. From the look he gave you and you figure Sam had filled him in. " Grace is a very pretty name " he said and Grace nodded .. " mommy gave It to me" she said so serious.. Causing the three of to laugh..
But the laughter died as soon as you saw him enter the room. You heart flip and fell into the pit of your stomach . He just stood there staring at you.. He look the same yet different .. His eyes were still the same beautiful green that always seem to be able to look straight into your soul.
Everyone was silent even Grace stood still as she sense this moment was very important. She clung to you even harder now. You finally broke the silence ,You cleared your throat before speaking. .
" hi Dean " you said He step forward a couple steps.. " hi y/n" he said softly.. His eyes still glued to you .. It was now or never .. " you took a deep breath as you looked down so did he and you saw his eyes widen as he look at the little girl beside you .
You took a deep breath "I like you to meet Grace " you said and you bent down next to her.. Dean was frozen to the spot just starting at the both of you . "Grace .. This is your daddy " you told her softly keeping your eyes on her . You heard Dean take a deep breath in..
Grace just study him for a minute and then she turned and threw herself into your arms burying her face in your neck . You heart broke a little as you realize this had to be very confusing for her. You picked her up finally meeting dean Gaze..
It was shock that what you saw ..You could tell he was still trying to wrap his mind around what was in front of him .
Sam cleared his throat and spoke up " how about that ice-cream now ?" he said you smiled gratefully at him. "Grace sweetie do you want to go with uncle Sam and get Ice-cream.. I will be right here when you get done " you asked her
She nodded and went into Sam's arm willingly.
Cas gave you a look before he followed Sam out of the room. You sigh when they were gone.. You were almost afraid to look back at Dean .Afraid of what you may see but when you finally looked at him he was wasnt looking at you he was looking at the doorway where your daughter disapered. You didnt say anything you just waited
"Why ?" he asked breaking the silence you knew what he was asking you sigh " Because I was afraid .. You were changing the mark was changing you. " you said .. " that last night I had plan to tell you I was pregnant. " but after the fight I just realized maybe it wasn't fair to added another burden on your when you were already so stressed " you said
" You should have let me decided that " he said his voice calm but you saw the emotions in his eyes. " I know and I by the time realized my mistake it was too late and I had been gone way to long.
You made yourself look up at him "I am sorry Dean but that why I am here now.. Grace started asking about her father.. And I knew that it was not fair to either one of you to keep her a secret."
You blinked back tears that were threating to come. " you may hate me and that alright but please don't hate her.. This isn't her fault. " you pleaded..
His gaze soften just a little as he nodded " I cant hate her " he replied.. And you forced a smile as your heart just broke.
You knew he wouldn't hate his daughter.. And you had already figure that he wouldn't want anything to do with you.. You didn't blame him on that ..
You sigh "Well I guess then you should go and get to know her " you said forcing yourself to act normal . He stare at you and nodded .. Before he turned and walked back towards the kitchen.
You stay and when he was gone you closed your eyes taking a few deep breaths to push back the lump of tears . "y/n are you ok ?" you opened your eyes to see Cas standing in front of you a worried look on his face
" he don't love me anymore Cas I kept telling myself that he didn't so I wouldn't hurt so much.. But it still hurts. "You sobbed .."Give him time.. He just found out he a father and seeing you again must have brought about a lot of memories. " Cas replied.
You shook your head " I didn't think seeing him again would hurt this bad or make me realize that I still loved him " you admitted Cas reached for your hand and gave it a squeeze .." you will get though this ok" he replied
You nodded and wiped at your eyes .. "Thanks I guess I should go and check on how they are doing " you said .. He nodded and he followed you into the kitchen. You stop in the doorway your heart warming at the sigh before you .
Dean was seated at the table a bowl of ice-cream in front of him . With Grace sitting on his lap talking about something her little arms waving as she talk.. Every once in a while she would take a bit of ice-cream.
Dean was grinning and laughing at what she was saying .. As well as Sam who sat on the other side of the table. You bit your lip .. Thanking god that this was going better than you hoped at least for Grace and really that was all that was important. She need her father.
You sigh " did you save me any ?" you asked walking into the room Grace beamed up at you from Dean's lap. "Mommy they even had sprinkles " she said You smiled "mmm your favorite " you said.
You lifted your gaze and met Dean's eyes .. He held it for a about a second then he looked back down. You sigh..
Sam spoke up noticing the look "How about you guys stay for dinner " he asked and you nodded ..
************************************************
- TWO WEEKS LATER -
So you and Grace had officially moved back into the bunker. Everyone decided it would be easier that why . Dean was still getting to know his daughter and you didn't want to have constantly be going back and forth
The guys had set up rooms for each you. Dean had taken Grace shopping and had her picked stuff out to decorated her room. You loved watching them spend time together.. Grace was a lot more happier to have Dean in her life.
Things were still tense between you and dean .. You guys had talk some more and Dean said that he understood why you did what you did . But he still was a little distance with you . But you couldn't help but noticed that you would catch him staring at you sometimes. You couldn't tell what he was thinking
"mommy mommy ! "Grace came running into the room where you were at . "What is it Sweetie ?" you asked as she climbed onto your lap . "uncle Sam wants to take me to get a hamburger and fries " she said ..
You looked up as Sam walked into the room "I though I would take her out and give you a couple hours to relax " he said you smiled "That sounds really nice thanks " you said .. You turned to your daughter.
"be good for uncle Sam ok " you told him she nodded and hopped down off your lap and ran over and grab Sam hand. "we will be back" Sam said and you watched them leave .
You really didn't know what to do with the time to yourself It been awhile since you had any. You didn't know where dean was but you didn't go seeking him out . You decided to maybe to fix you something to eat and the take a nice long hot bath .
You walked into the kitchen and started working on food. You were so lost In your own though that you didn't hear anyone walked into the room. It wasn't till you turned around from the stove that you saw dean leaning against the doorway arms folded across his chest
You stop heart in your chest you cleared your throat " I am making some soup would like some ?" you asked .. He pushed off the doorway and walked towards you .
"Sure I will get some bowls " he said moving around you . You step back to avoid touching him and turned back to stove.
"Grace with Sam ?" He finally spoke Without turning around and continuing to stir the soup . " yeah he offer to take her out for a while. " you said. . You reached over and turned off the stove..
"It ready " you said as he brought the bowls over to you.. As you took one from him your fingers brushed against his and you felt it .. The spark that always ran though your body every time you touched.
You lifted your eyes and meet his. He was staring at you intently.. "I .. Uh.. Let me get you a bowl" you said as you turned around and pour some soup into the bowl and turned around to hand it back to him.
He gave you the first real smile you seen in a while "Thanks mind if I eat with you ?" he asked Heart pounding hard in your chest .." yeah I liked that " you replied softly.. And hurried and fixed your bowl before you went and joined him at the table.
You spent the meal talking about Grace the only thing that you guys probably still had in common . You told him all the little stories .. That he should have been there to see. Her first word her first steps.
You enjoy watching him smile and laughed at the stories. " I am telling you she is fearless " you said as you were cleaning up the meal. He came up beside you at the sink and handed you a bowl. "Always keeping you on your toes huh?" he said and you nodded.
" yeah you can say that " you replied as you turn and stop short when you realize that he was closer than you excepted .Automatically you step back bumping into the counter. You had to bit your cheek when you felt his hands come to a rest on your hips to steady you
"Dean ?" his name came out in a question as you stared up at him " I have tried so hard " he said softly .. His fingers tighten on your hips and you felt him slowly pulled you towards him .
Your own hands found there way on his shoulders you weren't able to look away .. He was so close. " tried so hard to what ?" you asked him His gaze dropped down to your lips before he met your gaze again.
"To not to want you.. To not to need you " he reply you took a sharp breath in your heart in your throat. " I have never stop " you admitted softly .. And watched as his eyes widen . It was painful It almost killed me to walk away " you said
Every time I look at our daughter I see you and I would be reminded of you " you said and he smiled a little.
"I wish I had known so I could have been there for you for her." he said. you nodded " but think about what you have to look forward to " you said Frist day of school.. Friends.. " you grinned " boyfriends. " he groan and shook his head.. "don't even get me started thinking about that right now "
You giggled .. "Dont worry about it right now she think boys are gross " you said and he looked relived . You realized that he had his hands still on your hips and you looked up and again he was starting at you ..
" I have missed you " he said your heart squeezed painfully " I have missed you too " you replied.. Again his gaze dropped to your lips and you saw what he was thinking .. So you took a chance and leaned forward till your lips lightly brushed against his.
The moment you did a hand came up and wrap around the back of your neck and deepen the kiss. You both groan as old feelings and new one came to the surface. J
The feel of his hands on you was almost your own doing. It had been so long ..You wrapped you arms around his neck pressing your body against his. His hands slip down your back and landed your butt as he use that to press you even closer
You felt what this was doing to him and it made you groan.. "Dean" you managed to get out in between kisses.. "What ?" he asked " I still love you " you said kissing him again. He groaned tighten his hold on you and before you could react he reached down and picked you up by the back of your legs
You wrapped them around Dean waist " I love you too " I have always love you " he said as he stared at you intently . You felt tears in your eyes and he saw them because he kissed you and started walking out of the kitchen.
_ 6 MONTHS LATER -
"Daddy ! " Grace ran straight at Dean as him and Sam made there way down the stairs after being gone for almost 2 weeks on a hunt. He grinned and dropped his bag as he picked her up as she came crashing into him.
"Hey princess did you miss me ?" he asked as Grace wrapped her little arms around his neck. " I did miss you .. Did you miss me and mommy " she asked.. Dean glanced up at you with a grin. " I sure did " he said walking over to you with Grace still in his arms.
He leaned in and kissed you softly your daughter giggling. . "Mine turn mine turn " she exclaimed.. He grinned and kissed her forehead then nose and then lightly on her pushed out lips.. You smiled.
"We were discussing watching a movie after dinner would you like to join us or do you want to just go to bed.." you asked the guys " I will pass "Sam said " I am pretty beat " he said "Daddy please " Grace begged her father..
Dean looked at you and grinned "Cant turn that down can I ?" he asked " Nope " you replied laughing
So after dinner the three of you crashed on the couch in front of the living room . Dean was stretched out and you were laying in between his legs laying against his chest. Grace was curled up on your side where she was clinging on to Dean's hand .
It was nice to just lay here with him and your daughter.. You felt like this was were you belong you felt completed . You just laid there enjoying being near Dean and listening to your daughter giggle at the movie .
But by the time movie was over your daughter was sleeping peacefully on you and Dean was sleeping deeply behind you. You smiled to yourself. How did you get so luckily you weren't sure but you were very thankful that your family of two had become a family of three.