Man, my name is Britney Smith and I am sixteen years old. I'm blonde, mostly white (but I still can twerk! Gag me with a pitchfork!), I have like brown eyes, and my wardrobe basically consists of crop tops, leggings, like scarfs, mostly beanies, like, wow, sweaters, and, oh baby, hair ties, fer shure, and Ugg boots. I love Ugg boots. I look exactly like Pixie Lott (by thuh way, like, wow, that fox is like, wow! an amazin' singer). I wish Jesse McCartney was my father, like, wow, because that dude is like, ya know, so beautiful and thuh most handsome dude on Earth. I live in thuh country of Panera Bread, like, and I belong to District 1. District 1 is like, ya know, thuh richest District of all 12 Districts, mostly, and I am totally famous like, there, because I'm pretty. Everyone loves me. I buy all my clothes from Abercrombie and Fitch. I'm also super sporty; I do competitive dancin' and cheerleadin' and I also play softball, fer shure lacrosse, oh, baby, and field hockey. I'm basically thuh most athletic person ever. Every year, fer shure like, there is a game held called Thuh Hungry Games, man, where everyone competes and fights to thuh death to win money for their whole District! Gag me with a pitchfork! I hope I get chosen. Today is like, ya know, thuh day where they choose who gets to compete in thuh Hungry Games. Today I wore my best clothin': a dress that had flowers all over it, oh, baby, heels, pigtails, and my favorite clutch. It was bright and sunny, like, wow, and I was so excited. All of a sudden, man, Gale, like, wow, thuh town hot dude, oh, babe came over.
"Hey Britney" That dude shouted. His man-bun shone in thuh sunlight.
"What's up?" I asked. I walked over to that dude.
"I have somethin' to tell you, Britney..." That dude said. That dude undid his man-bun and his glossy hair fell to his shoulders.
"What?" I asked, mostly, but then I heard my name bein' called from thuh podium in thuh Town Center, like, wow, and I ran away.