"That's not a question I need answering." She said before sipping her beer. Thor grinned though.

"Come, Lady Natasha, you must at least try. There is no shame in not being able to pick up my mighty weapon."

Natasha gave him a slight scowl before standing, putting her beer down and walking around the glass coffee table, glancing at the hammer before wrapping her fingers around the table. She expected it to stay there, too heavy for her to lift – but lift it did, feeling no heavier than a gun. Silence fell, Thor's face still as he stared at her. Gripping it a little tighter, she flipped it a few times, trying it between her hands before eventually setting it down again, shrugging.

"I don't think I like hammers." She said simply before grabbing her beer again and sitting down, sipping it.

Thor held up his hand, Mjolnir flying to it like normal, but the God seemed stricken.

"I never believed them when they said a Midguardian maiden would be able to lift it. You don't realize the consequences you have brought upon yourself by being so pure of soul."

Natasha gave him a raised eyebrow. "Pure of soul. Right – Thor, my ledger is dripping. I'm no pure soul."

Thor sent her a glare that hurt more than it should have. "I gave up my right as Crown Prince, Natasha, and by being able to hold Mjolnir, you made yourself eligible for the throne of Asgard. Unless Odin decrees I am once more Crown Prince, you are the primary heir to all the Realms."

Natasha stared at him for a second before swallowing, eyes flicking to Tony as he spoke.

"Wait, so Natasha's a princess now? She could become a Queen?

Thor tightened his grip on Mjolnir, still glaring at Natasha. "Yes, and not only that, but my father has not long to live – a decade at the most, and I do not feel that I am ready for such a burden."

Natasha's own stare became frosty. "I didn't think you were being serious – and you were the one pushing me into trying it. I don't want the throne anyway."

Thor growled deep in his throat. "You do not understand – only those of Odin's blood can sit on the throne. As Primary Heir, that means to become Queen you have to marry the most eligible after yourself. Me."

Natasha's stare didn't change, before she spoke in Russian, only Thor understanding due to the Allspeak. "I, as Natalia Alianovna Romanova, do hereby give up any and all claims I have to the Throne of Asgard, and renounce any future claims hereafter. I, as Tsesarevna Anastasia Nikolaevna Romanova of Russia, do hereby give up any and all claims I have to the Throne of Asgard, and renounce any future claims hereafter. In the name of my son, Tsarevich Henry Clinton Romanov of Russia, I do give up any and all claims he may have to the Throne of Asgard, and renounce any future claims hereafter." She raised her chin, switching back to English. "Is that good enough?"

Thor glared before speaking in a low voice. "No. You cannot give up your claim – and even if you could, you would have to say it in front of my father." He rubbed his forehead, looking tired, instead of angry. "This conversation has gone in a direction completely different to the one we were walking just a few minutes ago."

Tony snorted. "No shit. What happens now? Do you get pulled up by a great massive beam of light-"

All of a sudden, blue light swirled around them all, transporting them into a large golden hall. Those who had been sitting down – aka, everyone but Clint – dropped onto their backsides. Natasha was on her feet in an instant, beer falling to the ground with a smash as she took out her gun, aiming it at the figure on the large golden throne. The old man gave her an unamused look.

"You are the one who can hold Mjolnir."

Natasha growled. "Who the hell are you?"

"Father!" Thor suddenly gasped. "How did you-"

"The Space Gem." He said before speaking louder. "Natasha Romanoff, I believe that is your name. You are in the Courts of Asgard, to face judgement."

Natasha swept her eyes around said 'Courts', noting the dignitaries, warriors, and finely-dressed woman, peering at her curiously as her compatriots got up. All but Thor went to their weapons, or at least what weapons they had. Tony and Rhodey both held up their single armoured arms, still wearing those parts of their suits from when they tried picking Mjolnir up. Maria, Clint and Steve took out their own guns, though Clint held his with one hand as the other took the compact bow from his inner pocket.

"Judgement for what?"

"Thor's hand." He said, making her raise her chin before repeating her speech from before. He and the rest of the Court gave her appraising looks. Odin then smirked slightly, standing.

"An honour, Tsesarevna." He bowed slightly. "It has been a long time since I have greeted a Royal of Midguard. Usually they bow though, not hold weapons to me."

Natasha tilted her head back. "Am I the only one proud enough not too? You are a dangerous man, King Odin – I cannot see why they would not, unless they are cowards."

"Mjolnir saw you as worthy-" Natasha shocked the Courts by interrupting.

"I am not worthy. I never will be. The only reason you aren't naming Steve the Crown Prince now is because he is too kind-hearted. He will not go to war to prevent things that may or may not happen. He nearly picked it up."

"I was watching." Odin replied. "You picked it up with more ease than Thor ever could. The enchantment upon Mjolnir is complex, but the words behind it are not." He held up his hand, summoning Mjolnir to it. "'Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, will possess the power of Thor'. It is not to be taken literally though. 'If he be worthy' is the translation you hear due to the Allspeak. I have been informed before that 'English', does not have a gender-neutral term."

"Other languages do." Natasha spoke. "Every time your words translate, I hear it in a language that has the most faithful variation. Speaking with Thor is hard to do."

Clint made a noise. "So I wasn't the only one."

Natasha brought her leg up and kicked him in the balls, making him hunch over as her gun stayed steady. "Don't interrupt, Hawkeye." Some more titters came from the crowd. "And you can shut your motherfucking mouths too. I'm trying to understand why in the name of God I'm actually here."

Odin made an amused noise as he walked down the steps of his throne, looking to Thor. "Before we go any further, you should know Thor."

Thor's face turned edgy. "Father…"

"Loki lives."

There was a second of silence before pandemonium broke out between the Avengers, Clint and Tony calling for his head – but then came a roar that made Natasha feel a chill in her bones. Putting her gun away in an instant, she turned to see Banner already changed, the Hulk towering over the scattering Avengers, Maria and Rhodey. In the Courts, warriors drew weapons while ladies drew back.

But Natasha went forward instead, reaching out carefully. "Hulk, what's the matter?"

The Hulk roared again, this time quieter, before he scooped her up and cradled her in his chest. She sighed before patting him.

"I'm safe, Hulk, Loki's not going to get any of us."

"Fire-head lady stay safe with Hulk." He grunted, eyeing Odin. "One-eye old man dangerous. Fire-head lady stay safe from one-eye old man."

Natasha made a frustrated sound. "I really doubt that he is going to kill me, Hulk – and I don't like how you act on Banner's crush. He should know already that I don't like him like that. I don't like any human like that. Let me go."

His grip tightened. "No. Fire-head lady stay safe with Hulk."

Sighing again, she relaxed before slipping out of his arms, sacrificing her heels to do it. Dashing out of grabbing range, she gave another sound of frustration at feeling the cold floor beneath her pale feet before taking a dart out from between her breasts, fitting it into her gun before firing it at the Hulk. As soon as it hit him, he roared, but slumped and turned back to Banner, to whom Tony offered his jacket.

Natasha turned to Odin, who eyed her with a stomach-roiling look of finality, appreciation and 'YES'.

"I do not want the throne."

"I am King of Asgard." He replied.

"I don't give two fucks about your title." She said back, stowing away her gun before retrieving her heels, casually raising her leg backwards and putting them on without even looking. "Also, I don't give a shit about Asgard. According to Thor, it's your fault we only had our industrial revolution a few centuries ago. Without your interference, we might have been at our level of civilisation thousands of years ago. So, no. Just because I picked up some hammer that can only be picked up by a special few does not make me what you need."

"The enchantment is complex-"

"I already said I don't give two fu-"

"-and does not try to find people like Thor when it comes to women." His voice raised. "Men, yes, it follows the guidelines stated, but whosoever picks up Mjolnir, if they are female, are viable life-partners for Thor. One of the female-specific requirements was that they have to be able to defend themselves however necessary, stand up to Thor yet get along with him, have the ability to bear children and have a naturally extended lifespan."

Natasha's eyes darkened. "I will not be married off like someone from the Middle Ages. I refuse."

"I am King of Asgard, and you, Tsesarevna Anastasia of Russia, are hereby engaged to be married to my son, Thor. And regarding Henry – you must bring him here to be judged too."

In all of Clint's life, he had never seen Natasha pale so quickly.