AN: Okay so I put in the summary that this will just be an archive of little side stuff that I write. Most of them fit into one of my CCS story universes and I'll let you know which one. They were either pieces that for purposes of the of the story got cut or little side scenes that I thought of or were picked out a line that I didn't have time to elaborate in one of my stories.

Now. This little story (well, not little because this one is a little long) takes place somewhere in the timeline of the third part of Always in Motion. As you can see, it wouldn't have fit in the original story and it wasn't even written then. I was just writing this because I was having a bad case of writer's block with Love Always and the best way to solve writer's block is to write something else. So that's where this came from.

Read, enjoy, and review!

Always in Motion: Additional Part

She didn't want to be here. But her dad was worried about her. Concerned about how those numbers, eleven nineteen, scared her and how when she the nineteenth of November came she completely shut down. She hadn't even wanted to take care of Haruki. She needed counseling, her dad and brother said. She needed to talk about what she was feeling with someone. Sakura disagreed. She talked to Yue. That was enough, but even the moon guardian agreed that Sakura needed more help than he could even begin to give her. Sakura relented, her brother offering to take care of the Haruki so she could go to the counselor, or therapist, whatever twice a month. That was why Sakura was sitting in front of a woman, a young woman thankfully, with her hair tied in a messy bun and instead of suit-like attire, she wore jeans and a silk blouse to dress it up, with a pair of cute patent leather flats. Sakura was glad the woman was dressed so casually. It made Sakura feel less like she was the subject of an experiment or something.

"Hi," the woman said as she came to sit in the chair across from the couch Sakura was sitting at.

"Hi," Sakura said softly.

"I'm Meikoko. You can call me Koko if you want and I'll call you Sakura. Is that fine?"

Sakura nodded trying to size up the woman and her casual approach. It hadn't been what Sakura expected. "That's… That's okay."

"Okay Sakura. Let's start from the beginning. What's going on? Tell me about your life."

Sakura was taken aback. She thought she was supposed to be discussing her rape, not that she wanted to. Sakura rather not talk about that, but Koko's question still caught her off guard.

Sakura shrugged. "School, cheerleading. The norm," Sakura said vaguely. It's not like she could mention her magic to the woman, but magic was the norm for her. But there hadn't been much to do in that department anyway; the occasional disturbance, nothing drastic.

"What about Haruki?"

Sakura blinked. "Hoe?"

"Haruki. Your son. Your-"

"My baby," Sakura muttered looking at her lap and smiling. "He's fine."

"How old is he?"

"Almost six months," Sakura muttered. "This is the first time I've been away from him for an extended period of time when I'm not in school.'

"Really?" Koko asked. "You must love him a lot."

"I do. I have to," Sakura said.

"You have to?" Koko asked.

Sakura froze, seeming to realize her slip. "I mean…"

"No. It's okay. I won't tell anyone anything you say in here. You can say whatever you want. You can even tell me that you hate me," Koko added laughing, trying to lighten the mood.

Sakura didn't laugh though, only smiled briefly before biting her lip, trying to figure out whether or not she should say anything.

Finally she said, "If I don't love him, no one else will. Everyone else just tolerates him."

"Why?" Koko asked.

Sakura stared for a long time balling her fist in her lap and then said, "Because of what they did to me."

"What did they do to you?" Koko asked.

Sakura looked at her pointedly. Koko already knew, and Sakura wasn't about to say it aloud.

"Sakura," Koko prompted.

"I know what you're trying to do. I don't want to do this. You're not going to make me talk about it," Sakura decided and then stood up.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going home," Sakura muttered looking at the woman as though daring Koko to stop her.

"That's fine."

Sakura blinked. "What?"

"If you want to go home, that's fine. I can't make you stay. And I can't make you talk."

Sakura tilted her head at her in confusion but then turned around and went out the door. Koko sighed when she was gone. For such an unassuming girl, Sakura sure was determined, very smart and defensive. She'd have to ask Sakura's father if that was normal or if the defensive, guarded nature was one of the things that had come as a result of her rape… if the girl decided she was going to come back that is. These kinds of situation were never easy, but Koko had a feeling Sakura would be particularly difficult.

Sakura decided to go back for the next appointment. She sat down quietly and while shyly looking down at her lap she said, "Sorry for last time. I was just… I was unsure."

"That's fine. So where were we last time?"

"Haruki," Sakura muttered.

"How's he doing?"

"The same as last time," Sakura replied averting her gaze for a moment and then looking back at Koko. "My brother seems to like him a bit more now, since I had to leave him with him last time."

"Oh? How can you tell?"

"He looks at him different, with softer eyes and he smiles at him. Haruki likes that."

"Your brother didn't smile at Haruki? Before last time I mean."

Sakura shook her head and then said, "No. But I understand. I didn't smile for Haruki when he was first born either. I… I didn't smile for him when I was pregnant."

Koko started to ask Sakura why, but the girl shot her a wry look with her green eyes and so Koko readjusted the way to ask this.

"You didn't want him?"

Sakura shook her head. "No one wanted him. No one even wanted me to have him, except Tomoyo, and I don't think even she expected me to want to keep him."

"Who's Tomoyo?"

"My best friend. She thought I should put him up for adoption. But everyone else wanted me to get an abortion. I wanted to get an abortion."

"What changed your mind?"

Sakura shrugged. "I… I didn't really change my mind. I just… I couldn't believe I was pregnant at first. I didn't want to believe I was pregnant. I kept telling Yue that I wasn't in denial, but I was until I felt him move for the first time."

"What was it like?"

Sakura, who was now staring ahead quietly said, "What was what like?"

"Feeling him move, knowing he was there inside you."

"Scary," Sakura replied. "I was so scared because that meant… that meant I couldn't ignore it anymore. I had to do something and… and he was alive, inside me. I still wanted the abortion, but I felt worse about it. I know it's not the same thing, but I felt like I would be a murderer if I decided to abort it after that."

"What did you do afterwards? When you felt him move."

"I cried, and Yue held me. He was the only one I told I was pregnant when I found out."

Sakura watched as Koko looked down and wrote something on a notepad on the side table next to her chair, but didn't ask what it was.

"So you told everyone else after that?"

Sakura nodded. "They didn't understand though. They all wanted me to abort him. They didn't understand why I would want to go through with the pregnancy but I couldn't do it. I couldn't bring myself to do it."

"Do you think that deep down, you always wanted to keep him?" Koko asked.

"No. I didn't, not then anyway. I didn't even consider keeping him as an option until someone asked if I had thought about it."

"You mean it never occurred to you that you could keep the baby if you wanted?"

"No. Who would want a baby that came from-?"

"Came from what Sakura?"

Sakura shook her head. She wasn't going to say it.

"Come on Sakura. You can say it."

"I hate saying it," Sakura said. "It makes me feel like a victim. I don't want to be the victim. I just want to move on. I…"

Sakura shut down after that. She was done talking about this. She didn't want to talk about this anymore.

"Can I go now?" she asked shakily.

Koko nodded.

Sakura was late for the next session and when Koko asked her why, Sakura replied, "Yue is watching Haruki, and he's never watched him alone before."

"Oh."

Sakura nodded, not saying anything else on the matter.

"I just wanted to clear something up," Koko said. "Something you said last time. You said you hate feeling like the victim. What makes you feel like that?"

Sakura shrugged. "Depends… When people look at me with pity, when they ask me about Haruki's father, and I can't give them an answer because I don't know. These sessions make me feel like I'm still a victim."

"I don't think of you as a victim. I think it's very brave of you to keep coming back here, even though it makes you feel that way. I do think you'd feel less like the victim though if you would just admit what happened."

Sakura shook her head.

"Sakura," Koko said reaching over hesitantly to touch Sakura's thigh. When Sakura didn't recoil, Koko placed her hand there and continued. "You're making yourself a victim by giving them power over you, letting them continue to rule you like this."

Sakura gave Koko a hard look, green eyes darkening. "When someone does to you what they did to me and you can still say that, maybe then I'll listen."

"Sakura…"

"I have to live with it. I have to live with what they did to me every day and no matter what I do, no matter how much I try to move on, it won't go away. It never goes away," Sakura added in a whisper.

The girl's calm steady tone about such a sensitive topic almost unnerved Koko some, but she didn't let it intimidate her. She had seen this in victims of rape before. She removed her hand, sitting back in the chair.

"Is Haruki a reminder?"

"No," Sakura said quickly, snapping out her apathetic look. "Haruki's my baby, and he's so sweet. He's not like… Not like them."

"Not like who Sakura?" Koko persisted.

Sakura glared at her again but otherwise stayed pleasant, nor did she try to leave because she was uncomfortable. That was good, Koko thought. They were making progress.

"Have you ever admitted it to anyone Sakura?"

"Admitted to…"

Koko nodded.

"Once."

"To who?"

"To Yue," Sakura replied. "I told him first. He made me admit it."

Koko raised her eyebrow. This wasn't the first time Sakura had said that name. It was the fourth time Sakura had mentioned this person, the third time she had mentioned it during a session. So far she had pretty much grouped everyone, even Tomoyo into the general terms "everyone."

"Tell me about Yue. How did he react to all of this?"

"He was angry," Sakura replied instantly. "He didn't show it, but… but I could tell. He wanted me to get rid of the baby too. He didn't like seeing me so stressed and in pain, so he… he didn't like it when I decided to keep the baby at first."

"At first?"

"He came around," Sakura replied smiling a little.

It was different than the smiles Koko had seen her give so far. It wasn't timid, hesitant, or fake. It was genuine.

"Sakura, who is Yue to you? What do you feel about him?"

Sakura blushed a little, but didn't say anything, not that Koko needed to ask. The girl's blush said it all.

"So you're in love with him?"

"I don't know," Sakura said honestly. "Maybe… Maybe. Haruki likes him too."

"You wish he was Haruki's father, don't you?" Koko asked knowingly.

"Sometimes. It would be easier," Sakura whispered.

"Does it bother you that Haruki doesn't have a father? Do you ever wish you could know who his father was?"

"It bothers me that he'll never know a biological father, but I don't care to know who his father is. I don't… I don't want to remember what he looked like," Sakura replied.

"You're going to have to face it one day."

"I know."

And then Koko asked it, the question that drove everything they were talking about. "Would you like to start by telling me what happened that day?"

"Tell you what happened?" Sakura said, head snapping up so that her gaze wasn't directed at her lap, but directed at Koko in what was no doubt surprise.

"From the beginning. From start to end what they did to you."

"Everything?" Sakura whispered beginning to tremble a little.

Koko nodded. "Everything."

Tears began to fall down her face as she shook her head.

"No," Sakura whispered, tightening her grip on her skirt. "No."

"Sakura," Koko said watching as the girl hugged herself and brought her knees up to her chest. "Sakura."

"No," she began to mutter. "Stop touching me. Please! Stop touching me. Don't…"

"Sakura," Koko said getting up to go to her. "No one's touching you. You're safe."

"No," Sakura sobbed suddenly. "Stop touching me. Leave me alone. No."

"Damn it," Koko said grabbing her contact list.

It was her brother that came to get her. By then she had snapped out of her flashback, but she was muttering something as she came out of it, still in something of a daze, muttereing someone's name and after a while Koko was able to decipher, "Hold me Yue. Please. They keep touching me."

"She's fine now," Koko said to her before her brother could go in to get her.

"What happened?"

"I asked her a rather sensitive question, and she didn't respond well. Her assault still bothers her more than she lets on to everyone I think. She can't sit down and face it."

Toya was silent and then said, "But other than the occasional anxiousness and her fear of eleven nineteen, she's been doing so well."

"Because she thinks by getting on with her day to day life, she can forget about everything. But just because she forgets doesn't mean she's dealt with it. She's just avoiding the issue, and it terrifies her to face it."

Toya sighed. "Is she ready now?"

Koko nodded and stepped aside to let him retrieve Sakura. They silently walked past her to begin to leave.

"Sakura," Koko said and slowly the girl turned around to face her, looking rather annoyed, her expression clearly telling Koko that she wanted to be left alone. Koko didn't let it faze her. "Sakura, is it possible I can meet Yue?"

Sakura looked surprised, as did Toya.

"Meet Yue?" she asked. "Why?"

Koko nodded. "Because you actually smile when you talk about him. Come a little early next time so I can talk to him."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "If he agrees. It'll take some convincing."

"Try your best."

Yue wasn't what Koko expected, not that she had any really expectations, but the contrast of his beauty and his cold, calculating demeanor caught her by surprise. His hair was also such a pale blonde, Koko started to ask if he was originally from Europe or maybe even the states, but she didn't. It wasn't her place to.

Koko asked if they could talk in private, before Sakura's official appointment time came. Yue looked at Sakura, some wordless conversation passing between them.

Sakura smiled in assurance and said, "I'll be okay in the waiting area for a moment."

She left the room, closing the door behind her, leaving Koko with Yue. He was sizing her up, Koko observed, and doing a good job at trying to intimidate her. Koko felt like cowering under his intense gaze.

"Have a seat," Koko said despite herself.

Koko wasn't sure what it was, but she got the feeling Yue would rather stand even though he sat down anyway. He crossed his arms, watching her like she was his prey or something, but otherwise not betraying too much outward emotion besides indifference, maybe a little annoyance. She was silent as she observed him, trying to come up with the best way to talk to him. Apparently Yue thought she was taking too long for he let out an annoyed sound.

"What do you want?" he asked.

Though Koko was surprised, she was rather grateful he had forced her to say something. "Sakura mentions you a lot, during her sessions."

"Does she?"

"More than she's mentioned anyone else. You're the only one she smiles for. You know that?"

"I've noticed."

Koko sat back. She didn't want to betray the girl's trust by mentioning this, but Koko wasn't quite sure what angle to approach the man from. She wasn't sure what would get through to him.

"So has it ever occurred to you she might care about you more than she lets on?"

Yue looked at her silently for a moment before saying, "She told me, if that's what you want to know."

That took Koko by surprise.

"Really?" she asked.

Yue nodded.

"When? Can you give me a specific time?"

"What's her feelings for me got to do with all this?"

Koko almost cringed. Her roundabout probing wasn't going to work on Yue it seemed. He seemed to be resisting the urge to roll his eyes as he said, "If there's something you want me to do, just ask and stop playing your mind game with me. I'm well aware of how it works."

The direct approach then, Koko thought.

"I want Sakura to tell me what happened when she was raped. She won't even admit out loud that it happened and when I asked if she ever had, she said that she had only done so once and to you. I think if you're with her, maybe she'll be more open to talking about it."

"Why are you trying to make her remember something she doesn't want to?"

"You seem rather protective of her."

He gave her a look that clearly said she better answer the question or else he certainly wasn't going to cooperate. Koko sighed.

"Because despite the fact that she won't admit it, this affects everything she does and I can't help her until she's willing to talk about it more openly."

Yue wasn't budging. Koko could tell by the look on his face, and though it might have stemmed from protectiveness of the girl, Koko detected something else there, something much more… haunting.

"Please Yue?" Koko asked. "I think we both want to help Sakura the best way we know how. Just let me try it this way."

Yue sighed, muttering his reluctant consent. Koko called Sakura back into the room.

"Do you mind if we let Yue sit in on this one today?"

Sakura looked at Yue, then Koko, and then back at Yue, instantly on guard.

"I guess."

"Good," Koko said. "So Sakura. Where were we last time?"

Sakura obviously paled, clenching her hands in her lap, that dazed look that meant she might be going back into another flashback appearing, but Yue's presence made the difference it seemed. She snapped out of it when she looked over at him, but that didn't stop the tears.

"No," Sakura muttered. "I don't want to."

"Sakura. You can take it as slow as you want to. I know it will be hard but…"

"I can't… I just."

Koko looked at Yue, silently asking for him to help her. He pressed his lips into a thin line, apparently disapproving but turned to Sakura anyway.

"Yes you can. Just pretend she's not here. Pretend you're just telling me."

"But you… I didn't tell you everything either. Yue it… It was terrible Yue, the things they did to me."

Koko noticed Yue's eyes turn to steel, like he was trying to block out his own personal feelings about this. It appeared Sakura was the only think that could affect his indifferent mask.

"I know," Yue replied.

Koko narrowed her eyes then. There was something about the way Yue said that. It wasn't just said in a way like he could imagine it or could sympathize with it somehow, but like he really knew what she was talking about. She raised her eyebrow. Perhaps she'd ask him about it later.

Sakura seemed to be able to collect herself after that, hugging her knees up to her chest and burying her face in her arms.

"Where do you want me to start?"

"The beginning."

"I was walking home from school," Sakura said. "That's when they got me. They pulled me into the back of a car."

"What kind of car?"

"Some kind of van I guess. They put me in the back seat."

"You keep saying they. How many were there?"

"Three," Sakura whispered. "One drove, the other two held me in the back seat."

"And then what?"

"I tried to fight them…"

She lunged for the door, nearly succeeding in opening it, but the one behind her snatched her back into the seat and when the door was secured again the other slapped her. It stung her cheeks, but Sakura willed herself not to cry. She would not give them the satisfaction of seeing her so easily defeated.

"Let me go!" she yelled.

"Shut up!"

Since her arms were restrained behind her, she kicked forward with her feet. He only grabbed her legs though, hoping to stop her struggles, but she managed to slip a leg away and tried to kick forward again. They grabbed her leg again, and her vain struggled after that earned her a slap.

"Don't bruise her too much," the driver said. "Her face is pretty. I don't want you to mess it up."

Sakura was now aware that the car had stopped moving and screamed in the hopes that someone would hear her. That earned her another smack to the face and this time, she let herself cry.

"Don't cry there," the driver said as he crawled into the back seat. When he was next to her, he tried to wipe her tears away, but Sakura recoiled from his touch. "It won't hurt if you would stop struggling."

"No," Sakura choked. "Please. Don't do this."

He ignored her, undoing the buttons on her blouse, and Sakura tried to squirm away, but that was hard, for after her initial struggles the one behind her was holding her arms tighter.

"Can we take a break?"

"You want to go home?"

Sakura shook her head. "I just need a break."

"To do what?"

Sakura shrugged, getting up and leaving the room for a moment, giving Koko the chance to talk to Yue again. He looked a little tense.

"She's never told you everything has she?"

"I never pressed her for it."

"Not even to file a police report about what happened?"

"She didn't want to."

His tone told betrayed his irritation, though Koko wasn't sure it was at her.

"Somehow, I have a feeling this is all making you uncomfortable for another reason. You show more than just sympathy for her. You act like you really know."

Yue didn't answer her, only continued to stare absently out the window.

"Do you know?"

Yue turned to look at her and was silent for a long time before he said, "The effect was similar, but the circumstance wasn't exactly the same case. Don't bother trying to get me to talk about it. Sakura's your client, not me."

Koko wasn't deterred, her curiosity getting the better of her. Not only that, but perhaps Yue could help her find a better approach for Sakura. But before she could try to get him to talk, Sakura came back in the room and sat down, with her hands in her lap. She glanced over at Yue and then reached over and grabbed his hand, holding it in her lap. Then she whispered so low that Koko nearly missed it, "I can feel them touching me."

"You don't have to finish," he whispered back.

"If I don't I won't be able to sleep tonight."

Yue nodded a little, and Sakura let go of his hand as she said. "I'm ready now."

"Do you remember where you left off? You were-"

"I fought them," Sakura muttered. "But they were stronger than me…"

"Stop it!"

They weren't listening to her now, immune to her cries and Sakura wondered if there had been others before her. With her blouse unbuttoned, they reached behind her and undid her bra. They wouldn't risk letting her go to remove it, since no doubt Sakura would fight them again.

"Don't touch me," Sakura said, but as if to purposely contradict her, he cupped both breast in his hands and then leaned down to suck on them. There was no care in it, no caring whether it hurt or not and Sakura yelped in pain when he bit down on one of her breast a little too hard.

Reflexively, she snatched her leg out one of her captors' grips and pushed him away from her in the side with her feet. He glared at her and Sakura choked in terror at the malice in his expression.

"Lie her down."

"No!" Sakura screamed through her tears as the one holding her arms lied her down and held her there. The grip on her legs was released, but instead of trying to kick again, she closed her legs tight as her tormentor tried to settle between them.

It wasn't hard for them to force her legs apart and in effort to get away, Sakura arched her back to free her arms. That only resulted in her being slammed back down on the seat, the wind knocked out of her. Taking advantage of her temporary daze, her skirt was hiked up, panties ripped off and when she found her breath again, she let out a sob, her body trembling as a result of her terror.

"Let go. Stop touching me. Just… Please."

She was beyond trying not to look defeated or desperate now. She just wanted this to stop. Somewhere in between her pleas, he had managed to undo his pants and release his erection. It was poking into her thigh as he leaned forward to kiss her. Sakura turned her head away and in frustration, he grabbing her by the hair, slammed her head against the seat, and forced her to face him so that he could seize her lips. Sakura choked back a sob, tears so thick, she couldn't see.

He only seemed to take pleasure in her torment though and with one more kiss, he thrust inside her.

"That's enough," Koko said noticing how much she was trembling, tears falling down Sakura's face as she recounted the event.

A sob escaped Sakura's throat and with that done, she reached over and held onto Yue.

"They raped me," she choked.

"I know."

Koko didn't ask for Yue again. She didn't plan on making Sakura recount anymore. She had done what Koko wanted. She had admitted to what happened in front of her. Koko didn't need, nor did she want, to know the rest of the details.

"Don't worry. You don't have to go through that again," Koko said when a timid and anxious looking Sakura came into the office. "I can help you better now."

Sakura only nodded.

"So tell me how you felt right afterwards? Tell me what you were thinking."

"Numb," Sakura replied immediately. "I didn't want to feel anything. I just wanted to get home. I don't think I really comprehended when happened until my brother asked me what was wrong."

"And?"

"I was scared of what people might say if they knew. Ashamed. Angry."

"At them?"

"A little. But mostly at myself because I couldn't stop them."

"Sakura, what could you have done against three men much bigger than you."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "You don't get it. Don't worry about it."

Koko moved on. "You said ashamed. Ashamed of what?"

Sakura turned red in what must have been embarrassment as she avoided Koko's eyes.

"What is it?"

"They… They kept telling me I wanted it, to stop acting like I didn't because I did and they…"

Koko looked at Sakura, patiently waiting on her to continue.

"They fingered me. They wanted to prove it to me and… and…" The blushed disappeared, only to be replaced with tears as Sakura finished, "I liked it. It… It felt nice. I did want it."

"Don't believe that, Sakura. They raped you. You didn't want that."

"But when they touched me there, I liked how it felt. I wanted them to stop touching me, but it felt…"

"Sakura, that was out of your control. Your body reacted. It's natural. You're not the first girl to admit this to me. That doesn't mean what they did to you wasn't wrong. If anything, they were playing a game with you, to confuse you. What they did to you was still terrible."

"And still…"

Sakura trailed off, a thoughtful look on her face.

"What?"

"My baby," she said. "I got pregnant with Haruki because they raped me. But I love Haruki. I can't imagine not having him with me. But I wouldn't have him if they hadn't…"

"I don't think you would have needed him otherwise," Koko said. "Would you have told anyone if you hadn't been pregnant?"

Sakura shook her head. "Still… I can't imagine going back, if I could do it again, if I could stop it, and not having my baby."

Koko wasn't quite sure what to say after that, so she looked at the clock and said, "How about we cut it short today and pick up next time? But can you to bring Haruki with you? I'd like to meet him."

Sakura was already there when Koko arrived.

"Sorry. I was running a little late," she said putting her back down and taking a seat across from Sakura.

It was when she sat down that she noticed the little dark-haired boy who was curiously inspecting the leg of her desk. Upon spotting her though, he got on his knees and made his way back over to Sakura, cautiously glancing at her out the corner of his eye.

"He's shy," Sakura said. "He doesn't meet new people often."

"Kawaii!"

Koko went to her bag and pulled out a cookie.

"I bet you're not too shy to get this."

Haruki's eyes widened at the site, but then he looked at Sakura as though asking permission. Sakura looked at the cookie.

"It's soft. It'll practically melt in his mouth," Koko assured.

Sakura looked at Haruki and nodded her head. He crawled over and took the cookie, happily sitting in front of his mother to munch on it.

"He's so handsome," Koko squealed.

"Thank you," Sakura said.

"How old is he now?"

"Eight months," Sakura replied.

"You've done a good job. He seems so sweet and well behaved."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Most of the time. But since he learned how to crawl, he's been into everything. I had to get my brother to put a gate on the stairs at home, but Haruki figured out he could crawl under it so I had to make my brother put it lower. I have to keep my eye on him every time I put him down."

Koko laughed. "Well, that's the age he's at. Your family helps you though, right?"

"When they can," Sakura said. "My dad's not home a lot, my brother moved out about two years ago, and Yue… Yue's around when he can be."

"What about your friends? Do you spend time with them?"

Sakura shrugged. "I do with Tomoyo."

"You have any other friends?"

"Tomoyo's my best friend, but I used to have a lot more friends. I still do, but they don't want to hang out with the girl who has to drag her baby along when she can't find a sitter," Sakura replied. "They don't understand it. They don't know about the rape."

"Maybe they'd be more understanding if you told them."

Sakura shook her head. "I don't want their pity. I rather them think I'm the girl in school who had everything going for her and got pregnant because of a careless accident, than the girl who got raped and couldn't find it in her to get an abortion. I don't want them to look at me like the victim. I'm not just a victim."

"Just because people sympathize with you doesn't make you weak," Koko pointed out. "It just means they care about you."

"I don't think so," Sakura muttered to herself more than to Koko.

Haruki began to whine then, pulling himself up on his mother's legs and giving her the half cookie he hadn't eaten. Sakura put it in a napkin and stuffed it in Haruki's bag, but Haruki continued to whine.

"What is it?" she asked.

He whined again, this time trying to pull himself into her lap.

"No," Sakura said dryly reaching into her bag and handing him a bottle, a bottle Haruki was being stubborn about taking.

"What's he doing?"

Sakura sighed. "He wants me to feed him, but he'll be a year in a few months and I'd like him to stop nursing before then. I wanted to stop a while ago but he's been giving me a hard time. Sometimes it's easier to nurse him and study rather than to stop studying completely to calm him down."

"You don't have anyone who will watch him while you study?"

"I do but..." Sakura trailed off. "He's mine. I decided to keep him when no one else wanted me to. I don't want him to be a burden on anyone else."

"Is he a burden to you?"

Sakura paused her gaze still on Haruki, who was still standing himself up by using her legs, but instead of whining had laid his head in her lap, quietly staring at nothing. She said nothing for a long time and in that time her gaze changed, going from surprised, to thoughtful, and then a little wistful.

Finally she smiled a little, a sad smile as she said, "No. He's not a burden."

Koko didn't say anything else, for she had a feeling there was more that the girl wanted to say. Koko wasn't disappointed.

"It's just that it's so hard sometimes."

"To take care of Haruki?"

"No. It's… it's everything!"

She broke then, unrestrained in her sobs and crying, the hand that was on Haruki's head and holding it in her lap held him a little firmer which made Haruki decide he didn't want to lay his head in his mother's lap any longer. He began to twist his head out of her grip and not having the strength to hold him there, she let him go, causing the boy to fall backwards on his butt. He then decided to lay on the floor, and while normally Sakura would have picked him up and laid him on a chair or the sofa, she was too distraught to care.

"Sakura," Koko said softly, not exactly sure what Sakura was crying about. "What's wrong?"

"I know why they sent me here. My family thinks I'm crazy."

"Of course not. They just want to help you!"

"That's not the whole story. They're afraid of what I might do. They think I can't handle taking care of Haruki, and school, and cheerleading, and deal with everything else. They think I might hurt myself. They're trying to convince me something's wrong with me but I'm fine. Nothing's wrong with me. I just want everything to be alright again, but they won't let it… Koko why isn't everything alright anymore?"

Sakura didn't wait for Koko to give her an answer, only leaned forward and buried her face in her hands. Koko stood up and went to join Sakura on the couch, putting her hand on her shoulder.

"Sakura. Sakura listen to me. You're right. Everything's not fine right now, but it will be. I promise. I'm going to help you if let me."

"You can try, but I don't think it's going to work," Sakura muttered.

"Yes it will. Look at all the progress you've already made."

"What progress?" Sakura snapped. "Just because I sat and told you some stuff doesn't mean anything's changed."

"True," Koko said undeterred by her harshness. "But that's just the first step. I couldn't help when you wouldn't admit there was something wrong. Now we can do something about it; that is if you're ready. Are you ready now Sakura?"

She didn't say anything, not for a while and then finally she removed her hands from her face, though she still wouldn't look at Koko and said, "No. I'm not ready. I wasn't ready to face any of this… But we've gotten this far. Maybe…"

Sensing her hesitancy, Koko said, "We can take it as slow as you want."

Sakura didn't answer, but Koko got the sense that ready or not, Sakura was now willing to put her fears and pride aside to let Koko help. And though that certainly didn't mean this would get any easier perhaps now they could make some real progress.

AN: So I never said whether or not Sakura got counseling in the original story, but then again I didn't really have time to include it anyway. So I decided to write this and also explore Sakura verbally saying some of the things that might have been implied in the original fic. I tried to write it in the style of someone observing Sakura which is why after the first scene, this is pretty much from the therapists point of view. I didn't really want to get into Sakura's thought because if this has a point, it's for Sakura to admit she needs help and how in her effort to deny it in this story, she's actually proving it through what she says and her actions. So tell me what you thought.

I'll have more of these eventually and I think this summary will be the next one of my Duty of a Guardian and Forces of Magic universe.

Ten-year-old Haruka was prepared to face puberty. Her older sister Matsuki told her all about what would happen, everything from getting breasts to starting her period. But no one told her that one day she would wake up with wings on her back. As if she isn't insecure enough about the way she looks anyway, she just had to inherit her father's wings too. Her week couldn't have started out any worse…

There's more to it, but that's the catalyst. It was inspired when MoonCalf asked me if Kisama from my other universe had wings and while I hadn't decided, I did know a character who did and how fun it would be to write a story where she unexpectedly wakes up to them on her back. Lol.

Hope you enjoyed. Review Please!