Another Step Forward

1: Broken Mirror

I don't own Initial D. I'm not Japanese.

It was a mistake. Kanako Shoji stared blankly into space, space being the off-white tiles of the bathroom and the dulled faucet of the sink. Her hands hit her lap, the small plastic object hitting the floor with a blunt noise that gave the impression of a dent. It couldn't be… But it was. She had been feeling nauseous and sick, and no home remedy or combination of over-the-counter pills from the drugstore could solve anything. So, on a whim, she had decided on a pregnancy test, even just as a joke. However, her worst fears had become true, and it didn't matter if the technology was highly flawed and ridiculed by some, she now felt it was true. "This will…" Indeed, it would ruin everything. Kanako had always been infertile. She had never been able to have children...and now? She took a deep breath, and reassured herself that her husband wouldn't be back for a few days, on yet another business trip. "I'll just have to, and it'll be simple." Anything for love, the quote supposedly went. But now, with a new job, the relationship had become even more strained and tense, distant. So, Kanako walked down the flight of stairs, slowly, fighting a panic attack brought on by fickle reality once more. A car's engine was thrown into life again, and soon enough tires spun down gravel driveway, gaining traction and flying down eerily smooth pavement.

"I'll just have to," Kanako said quietly to herself. An abortion was really the only option, wasn't it? But there was a nagging feeling of wrong in her head, something completely wrong with what she would eventually do. As she drove down the freeway, ignoring the world and the radio playing softly, a thought came to mind, the thought in of itself being "What if the child is alive?" Kanako said it to herself, repeated the thought, and suddenly struggled to keep the car in a straight line. But, she'd have to, wouldn't she? Wouldn't she? Kanako came to a compromise of not thinking about it at all, and simply paying attention to the roads and looking for the correct exit.

A car drove into a parking lot, one of many. A female climbed out, and was soon inside the building, door closing behind her.

And it turned out that Kanako had indeed been laid out on the table, lack of man beside her not questioned, and it was indeed a child. Kanako refrained from asking the essential question, hoping that everything would just resolve itself on its own, not needing her input. Until, of course, the nurse walked in, clipboard by her side, blue scrubs pristine and without stain. What kind of a nurse is that? The thought flew through her head for a moment. The nurse, meanwhile, had been dragging a pen down lines of kanji before checking some off, several short slashes. The nurse looked to Kanako, and smiled.

"Miss...Shoji?"

Kanako smiled back, watery. She didn't want anything, didn't want to know anything…

"Although you made it pretty clear you wanted to have an abortion, not being ready for a child and such, the baby has a heartbeat. Still your decision though."

Kanako let out her breath in a rush of air, and felt dizzy as she struggled to stand.

"It's...fine," She muttered." Just that I was supposed to be infertile, according to some prestigious doctors."

The nurse smiled wider, oblivious. "There's always a chance for doctors to be wrong. And anyways, aren't you married?" The nurse glanced down to her forms for verification. "Won't your husband be so happy?"

Kanako felt her head almost spin, her senses feeling broken somehow. "Yeah," she whispered, more to herself than anything else, feeling hopeless.

"So," Kanako reassured herself, "He won't be that mad, right?" Her husband, Tsutomu, had always wanted a child, until he had found out she really couldn't have children. He said something along the lines of "It's fine, love still goes on," and their relationship had deteriorated from there. A new job, less time with her. It had gone great for him, but she just felt more and more depressed. At least she didn't want to kill herself. "No," She muttered at the same time that the thought crossed her mind. "Child." Kanako resigned herself to sit at the front door, waiting for the apocalypse. Later she would come to find herself dozing in the chair next to the front entrance, and Tsutomu quietly returning, looking regretfully upon the sleeping figure.

It was now late morning, Kanako realizing she had slept through a night and part of the day. She swallowed, her mind now completely awake once again. She stood from the chair, ready to find her husband. It was easy enough, finding him sitting across from her, drinking the morning tea that she should have made. "So you waited for me." He stated.

Kanako's mind suddenly went into a flurry, a panic turning into a figurative blizzard. "I...uh…"

Tsutomu smiled, accepting. "There's something you wanted to tell me, right." Kanako nodded. "Well, what is it?"

She stuttered, almost tripped, but she stood. "Tsu...I-ah...I'm pregnant." Tsutomu stared at her for a moment. Distaste flooded across his face, immediately.

"So you lied to me?"

Kanako was then struggling for breath, she felt.

"No!" She almost yelled.

Tsutomu stared at her, judgmentally. "Explain."

"I...there's a very low chance I could be with child."

Tsutomu's expression darkened. "But you are."

"I-" She sniffled. "I don't know."

Tsutomu came to his own conclusions. "So you were sleeping around on me?"

Kanako's eyes widened. "No! Didn't we...that one time…"

Tsutomu smiled saccharine sweet, his eyes cold. "I was wearing protection, honey."

Kanako almost squeaked."No. It could've broken, you know."

Tsutomu's saccharine grin turned into a feral snarl. "Sure it did." He stood, his long strides filled with all the purpose in the world, and slapped his wife in the face.

She fell back roughly into the chair. "I-it's!" Kanako struggled for words, and her face stung.

"I don't care-" He leaned down, and slapped her again, holding her arms back. "Whose child it is." He stood back, and stared at her, all affection gone. "Leave. Never come back. I don't want you anymore."

Kanako stood, spine full of a new feeling of reviled anger. "I never wanted you anyway!" She yelled, a new courage taking her over. They were indeed about the same height, but Kanako had always been the meeker of the pair, being the generic housemaking wife. Meeker, of course, until now.

A vase went flying across the room, shattering more than a few centimeters away, but still close to Tsutomu's head. Kanako turned on her heel, and walked out. She slammed the door behind her, sure to slam it hard enough to rattle the glass. For emphasis, she punched it. The old wooden door made a sad noise. Kanako had walked out on him because he had walked out on her first, those many months ago. "The car's mine, fucker!" Kanako did indeed own the lease on the car, an older Honda. Still with the feeling of anger clouding her mind, she started the car and drove off, tire marks ruining a pristine lawn and running over various bushes that she had planted herself. "No more…" she whispered.

In the air, she could hear her former husband yelling "Call the bastard child Usotsuki!" but she ignored it, and smiled.

All she had was the car, the gas tank, and the yen in her wallet and in various spaces throughout the car, as well as her bank account which was on an alright status. She owned next to nothing now, but felt freer than she ever had. The wind blew through the open windows, and Kanako felt at peace, suddenly. "Shingo," she whispered, drowning out everything else in her mind. "He'll be Shingo."