It was stupid, really, but Jane Rizzoli knew after trying to talk herself out of it for two solid hours, well… the feeling wasn't going away. She hated feeling lonely, and her bottom lip jutted out further as she realized that even if she had wanted to go home and be with her family for a while, there wasn't the same family to go home to. It made her stomach ache just thinking about the divorce.
Once the elation of knowing the pain was gone and she could breathe again had worn off, Jane had found herself at home again. And feeling like she was grasping at loose ends of a fraying rope.
She had started with cleaning, picking up clothes and shoes, stripping her bed sheets and putting on the clean set that either her Ma or Maura had washed last week. So Casey was gone, and it wasn't like she needed the reminder of his lingering cologne on the pillows.
With a sigh, she picked up a frame and glanced down at the picture. The Rizzolis, sans Tommy, grinned back at her. It had been the day Frankie had officially joined the force, and both he and Jane were in their uniforms. She wrinkled her nose at her image—it definitely looked masculine. She refused to give much thought to the rest of family. Every so often she had come across little reminders—pictures, something or other Pop had given her—and each had stopped her in her tracks. Jane still couldn't wrap her head around the idea that he'd just… left.
Shaking her head, she had forged on ahead, turning on the television for background noise to fill the quiet. While she hadn't cleaned up everything, she at least put a dint into the mess. It hadn't gotten like this overnight, and it wouldn't be fixed overnight. At first when she came home, everything was meticulous. Her parents and Maura had all taken turns staying with her, and then Frankie had slowly worked into rotations. For the first week or so she had mostly slept, the pain medicines knocking her out for hours a time. Even getting up to use the restroom or to eat had seemed like a work out.
Although she was cleared for duty now, Jane knew it would be a slow process, too. She was exhausted from two hours of tossing pizza boxes and trying to separate out what she was keeping and what was going back to the shopping network. What had she been thinking when she had ordered that food saver vacuum with a charging base? Okay, maybe she'd give that to Ma in hopes it would be sent back over occasionally with some gnocchi inside.
She was glad she had changed from her work clothes as soon as she had started cleaning. Right now, Jane just couldn't summon the energy to get up and put on proper pajamas. Her lithe limbs curled slightly, and out of pure habit she grabbed a pillow and braced it against her side, offering her hips a little support and going limp.
It occurred to her that she could have simply called Maura. Or her Ma, for what it was worth. It's not like they wouldn't have both come if she had just asked, but Jane really sucked at asking for help. It was stupid to be hurt, even angry, at Casey for having to go back to duty. Part of her wanted to get up and hit that dummy Korsak and Frost had gotten for her, and part of her just wanted to cry. But she was too tired, and she yawned instead.
The soft rasp of the front door opening caught her attention, and Jane's dark eyes blinked slowly. She didn't sit up, but just stayed where she was, debating if she should let herself give back into sleep or wake up and greet her company.
"Sssh," came a hushed voice, and Jane relaxed a little more, although she blinked a few more times to try to clear sleep from her eyes. It was Maura, and a soft snuffling sound indicated her friend wasn't alone.
"Hey," Jane whispered, clearing her throat and pushing herself to prop up against the pillows as Jo Friday pounced. Her dog was all tail-tags and licks as she tried to simultaneously lick every part of Jane's face and hands and roll onto her belly for a good, long petting.
Maura joined her on the couch, lifting her legs and settling them in her lap as she settled herself just so on the cushions. Her friend was silent for a while, watching the happy reunion for several long moments before giving one foot and affectionate tug. "Jo's missed you."
"Yeah," Jane sighed, dropping a kiss into the scruff of her dog's neck. "I've missed her, too. Maybe it's time for her to come back for good now? I can handle the walks now. At least, the ones to the curb and back. I guess the longer walks'll take some time…"
"Mhmm," Maura agreed. "Frankie will probably want to come walk her every now and then. Bass will be glad to have his blanket back." She gave a little smile and reached out a delicate hand to rub Jo's side. "But she was a good guest."
"Good girl," Jane answered. Her fingers played through Jo's fur, and she sighed. "Maur, I'm glad you brought her over …. I just… really missed her." She swallowed, not wanting to deal with welling emotions right now. God, when had she turned into a sap? Maybe she was PMSing or something.
Maura gave her one of those understanding smiles. One of those I-understand-something-you're-just-about-to-figure-out smiles. She wrapped a hand around Jane's wrist and gave a gentle squeeze. "I know. Give yourself time, Jane. You've had so much happen, and now with your parents and with Casey here and gone again … we're here for you." She reached out, and Jane let herself be pulled into the long hug.
She wrapped her arms around her friend, returning the hug until she had tears running down her cheeks. With a sniffle, Jane finally pulled back and scrubbed away the moisture with the palms of her hands. "Thanks… really, Maura, I can't tell you how much it means. I'm still pretty tired and everything."
"I'm staying the night," her friend quickly decided. "You shouldn't be alone. Go back to sleep if you want." She waited for Jane to settle back against the cushions and the arm of the couch before she pulled down the blanket draped over the back of the couch and tucking it around the brunette. Her fingers smoothed over a loose thread, knotting it and easing it back into its place. "Get some rest"
Jane nodded, draping an arm over Jo Friday and letting her thumb stroke the corner of the blanket that Maura had fixed. "You're good with the loose ends."
"Mhmm," came the quiet murmur of agreement, and Jane didn't fight sleep this time, yawning and letting herself drift as Maura settled herself, her arm draped protectively over Jane's legs. "rest, Jane."