Title: Never a Sacrifice
Summary: When Voldemort chooses Neville and kills the boy, Lily Potter decides she's had enough of this war. She, James, and Harry flee to America. But James liked Godric's Hollow better, and escapes back to Britain in search of a life he wants. And he's shocked by what he finds. AU
Warnings: Language, violence, het and slash and a bit of femslash, heavy angst at times.
Notes: Let me just get this out of the way: I do not ship Remus/Lily or James/Tonks. But I ship Ronks and Jily with all my heart, so I decided to switch the pairings up a bit. Who knows, I might ship all four aforementioned pairings by the time I finish this fanfic. Pansexual James, genderfluid Tonks, bisexual Sirius. Don't like, don't read.
Feel free to review/comment. Enjoy!
Chapter One: Voldemort Kills
November 1, 1981
HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED KILLS LONGBOTTOM FAMILY
By: Zoe Lynam
Last night, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named—known by only the bravest as Lord Voldemort—approached the Longbottom residence and killed Frank, Alice, and Neville Longbottom. Baby Neville, only one year old, was He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's interpreted subject of a prophecy foretelling the Dark wizard's downfall.
The full contents of the prophecy in question are unknown. Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts and the only known person to have heard the full contents of the prophecy, was unavailable for question.
James sighed and ran his hands through his hair. It was a short article, but sometimes that was best.
Voldemort had killed the Longbottoms. James remembered working with them, in the Order. Frank had even been one of James' roommates at Hogwarts. And now Voldemort had killed them.
He had even killed a baby. Not that James believed Voldemort was above that. He had once killed three five-year-olds because their parents had refused to join the Death Eaters. But a baby. A one-year-old boy.
"You know what this means, right?" Lily said from behind him.
He turned around and faced her. "What do you mean?"
"We have to leave Britain."
"Excuse me?"
"To escape the war. For our safety. For Harry's safety."
"Godric's Hollow is perfectly safe. We work for the Order. Sirius and I are fully-trained Aurors. Pettigrew may have joined the Death Eaters, but he isn't Secret Keeper. So unless Sirius suddenly turns Dark and betrays us to Voldemort, we are safe."
"James, we both know that prophecy could have been referring to Harry. Now that the other possibility is dead, what if Voldemort realizes it? What if he comes hunting us? Yes, I know that Godric's Hollow is safe. Yes, I knowthat the chances of Sirius betraying us to Voldemort are slim. But what if, James? What if Peter breaks past the Fidelius Charm? I know it's unlikely, but what if?"
"Lily—"
"James, listen to me. We need to leave. For our safety. For Harry's safety. He'll grow up a normal boy in America—"
"America? You want us to move overseas? Lily, I've heard a lot of ridiculous things—many of them from me—but that has got to be the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."
"Do you not care about Harry's safety? Would you rather Voldemort come up and knock on our door, planning to kill him?"
This wasn't fair. She was questioning his love for her, for Harry. She knew that got to him.
He sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fine. Fine, we'll move to America." He looked up. "But don't think I want this. This wasn't my idea. Britain is my home, always will be. I grew up here. I'm not moving because I want to. I'm moving because I love you, and I love Harry."
"That's enough for me."
August 17, 1984
"Andromeda says that Dora's starting Hogwarts this September."
"Hmm." Lily didn't turn to face her husband; her eyes never wavered from Harry.
"You just don't want to think about Britain, " said James, not sure whether or not the statement was meant as an accusation.
"I don't mind thinking about Britain."
"Lily…"
She turned around, Harry watching with interest from behind her. "James, I know you miss Britain. I know you want to go back." James opened his mouth to speak, but Lily cut across him. "I know you've never said it aloud. But we've been married since we were eighteen. I know what you're thinking. I know you miss Britain. I know you want to return. I know you miss our friends, but they still visit—"
"Sirius visits," James corrected. "Remus only writes."
"He visited once."
"Only once."
"At least Sirius visits. Harry should know his godfather."
"Siri!" Harry said happily, when he heard his godfather's name. James smiled. His son seemed to be the only person who could make him smile, these days. The four-year-old was special.
"He should also know his father and godfather's best friend."
"Remus doesn't have to come if he doesn't want to. We've invited him, yes, but he says he doesn't think that Harry would be interested in knowing and being friends with a werewolf."
"Harry knows that Remus is a werewolf."
"Yes, but he doesn't understand that in its entirety. Remus thinks that when he does, he'll shun Remus like the rest of society. He doesn't want Harry to choose that path."
"Harry's smart for his age. I'm sure he understands what being a werewolf means."
"We can't be certain what Harry understands. Remus was the one who convinced me to move to America, you know."
"So it's Remus' fault we're here."
"Not necessarily. I'm sure I would have thought of it on my own at some point, just not as soon."
James sighed. "I want to go back."
"I know," said Lily, smiling sympathetically. "But we're safe here. Voldemort can't chase us, you're an Auror for MACUSA, Harry can go to Ilvermorny when he turns eleven…"
"We were safe in Godric's Hollow, Voldemort can chase us, I'm only an Auror because you made me join MACUSA, and Harry's British at heart."
"You just want to go back. If you go back and end up dying, I won't be able to help but think it's my fault."
"What, for respecting my free will?"
"For letting you go back to a place of danger."
"The danger goes farther than England, Lily. There were records only a week or two ago of Voldemort killing a family of eight in Brazil."
She sighed. "We're safer here."
James thought.
He spent a lot of time thinking. Thinking about Britain. About safety.
Why did Lily think that America was safer than Britain? Nowhere was safe anymore. The war had originated in Britain but had spread to every corner of the world. No place was safer than another.
Did Lily know that? Was she trying to fool herself? Or James, or Harry? Or did she not know? Did she really think that America was safer?
James didn't know.
But what he did know was that he was going to return to Britain. He didn't really care whether or not Lily wanted him to leave.
He had to leave. He had to go back. Britain was his home.