Prompt: I would like Kili to still be a Virgin and Fili finds out about it. If Kili/Fili results is up to you.
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Okay, I don't really like that fill, but I figured I'd post it anyway…
That dark part
He knows that he should not be staring at his brother so openly, or at some point it will attract Fili's attention (actually it is little short of a miracle that this has not happened yet) but he cannot look away. Not when the other one is passing time with flirting with another human lass yet again. They are in one of the many towns of men, their uncle having them sent here to meet with him, not knowing when he would arrive. They have spent the last three days exploring the town and the evenings sitting in the bar parlour of the inn they are residing in (it being the place Thorin would come looking for them). Well, more precisely Kili is sitting at a table in a dark corner, drinking one ale after another and watching his brother flutter his eyes at basically every female being present. Unfortunately dwarvish liquor is much stronger than that sold by men, thus he has to drink many pints until he can finally feel the effect – until he can finally forget about the ache in that dark part of his heart he has never dared to give a closer look, for he fears those feelings he is not ready to deal with would devour him.
Kili watches his brother invite another woman to their room (this time it is a short, dark-haired girl with rather masculine features, barely taller than the dwarf) and despite the fact that he is terribly tired he stays in the bar parlour, waiting for Fili to finish. Dwarves only love once, but there is no rule forbidding them to have fun while they are still unattached, they are rather encouraged to acquire experience. It can take them a very long time to find that person they are meant to be with and since men love often and weakly they are quite frequently those young dwarves choose to lie with. Thus Fili's behaviour is neither uncommon nor frowned upon, but that does not mean Kili has to like it. When the girl finally returns to the parlour – alone – he finds himself unable to suppress a low growl. She winced and he feels a little better when he finally retreats to the room he is sharing with his brother.
When he opens the door Fili is standing at the open window, wearing nothing but his undergarments. He does not even bother to turn around when his brother enters the room and the chilly air has not yet chased away the reek of sweat and sex completely. Kili, who closes the door a little louder than necessary, finds himself unable to suppress a second growl and it is only then that the older one turns his head. "Brother", he says coolly "is there anything you want to complain about?"
"Of course not", Kili answers, his voice cold and distant. "You can do whatever you like." Normally they are exceptionally close, even for brothers, but this topic is a sore spot. Fili likes to amuse himself and Kili hates it when his brother does that (especially when they are sharing a room), although he never says why. "However, I would appreciate it if you were doing it elsewhere."
Fili, at the end of his patience, rolls his eyes. "I fail to understand why you lie with girls so rarely." Kili tenses and looks away and suddenly his brother's eyes widen. "You have never shared bed with a lass?" The younger one blushes. "What about male bedfellows – have you had any of those?"
Kili startles and gives his brother a surprised look. "Have you?"
"Of course!" Fili answers and clears his throat, before saying: "Not very often, though, only… sometimes. In certain… circumstances. Whatever." He clears his throat again. "So, you are a virgin?"
Kili fidgets. "Don't say it like that", he pleads, his eyes big and round and something about Fili's posture and expression changes. "I know I am supposed to… gain experience in order to be able to satisfy" he stumbles over the word "my future partner, but… well, most likely I won't… ah, never mind", he mutters and turns around, opens his belt. "I'll go to bed."
Suddenly there are arms around his waist, helping him with the belt, and a warm body is pressed against his back. "It is a shame for someone as beautiful as you are not to have any experience", Fili murmurs, his lips brushing Kili's ear, and his voice is deep and coarse, full of desire and promises. Suddenly the younger one understands why all those women lie with his brother despite knowing it will only be one short time of bliss, and he realises he is as lost as they are. He knows, he should not give in – for this will most likely destroy their brotherly bond as well as him – but that dark part of his heart is strong and hungry and clinging to this opportunity it has been graving for so long. Kili does not allow himself to think about that scary realisation, for it would ruin everything, but leans back, against his brother. There is nobody he trusts more than Fili and although knowing that it will hurt – afterwards, tomorrow, forever – he puts himself into the hands of the older one.
Fili turns Kili around and takes his time to look at him, to admire him. There is something in his eyes Kili has never seen there before and he knows that never seeing it again will drive him crazy. The blond dwarf takes a strand of hair and tugs it behind the younger one's ear. "If I should do anything you don't want me to", he whispers "tell me and I'll stop." Then he cups Kili's cheeks and, after what seems like an eternity, kisses his younger brother. Kili's response is insecure and clumsy, but it does not take him long to learn how to make Fili wrap his arms around his upper body and pull him as close as possible.
Fili's talented fingers start to open all the clasps and lacings, removing one layer of clothing after the other, his gaze never leaving Kili's eyes and the younger one thinks he might die of a heart attack. Then he is completely naked and Fili pushes him back, until he is lying on the bed, and suddenly his brother's hands are everywhere.
The blond dwarf kisses him again, heatedly and fervently, before he lets his tongue explore Kili's neck and ears and upper body and oh-
Kili thinks he might lose himself in all those feelings, in the heat and the racing heart and the breath-taking closeness, but he knows that there is more, of course he knows, he has heard and even read about out. Soon there are no thoughts left in his head, however, the only things that matter are Fili's mouth and his finger that is suddenly in him, fumbling and curving and doing something that makes Kili's hips jerk upwards.
Suddenly Fili's face is back in his range of vision, but he does not complain, because now two fingers are making him jerk once again. There is a dirty grin on his brother's lips and his eyes are gleaming with arousal and something else he cannot quite place. Then Fili – when exactly did the older one get naked? – is in him, his hand stroking Kili's cock, and everything else ceases to matter.
It does not take long until all the sensations take over and he is cumming with Fili's name on his lips. Then he feels his brother tense and collapse against him, both of them still breathing heavily and their bodies wet with sweat. They lie like that for a while and Kili dreads the second they are going to part. He never wants to let go of his brother again, he needs him, needs this. That dark part of his heart is desperately clinging to the moment.
But he cannot stop the clock and when Fili breaks away from him he fails to gulp back the tears that are suddenly flooding his eyes.
Fili hears him sob quietly and backs away, a horrified expression on his beautiful face. "Did I hurt you?"
Kili shakes his head and coils himself up, desperately trying to be less vulnerable, to ignore the sticky fluid on his stomach and to lock up the feeling of loss and despair originating in that darkness in his chest.
"What- … what's the matter? Can I help you?" Never before has Fili sounded so utterly helplessly. "I'm so sorry! I didn't want to hurt you! I…"
"You didn't hurt me", the younger one manages to mutter, still sobbing. "It's not your fault." That dark part of his heart is growing rapidly, trying to consume him, and he cannot stop its spread for it is fuelled by the knowledge that Fili and he will never be that close again.
Fili tentatively puts his hand on his brother's shoulder. "Tell me? Please? I… I want to help you. I want to solve your problem and get rid of whatever it is that makes you cry. Because… brother, I hate to see you like this!"
Kili snorts quietly. "I cannot imagine that you truly want to know."
He feels his brother tense. "I am sure I can deal with it. Unless…" The blond dwarf gulps heavily. "Have you found your one?" Kili winces and Fili closes his eyes. "You are not going to tell me?" The younger one shakes his head. "Well, then I will have to guess. Is it… is it a man and you did not like what I was… doing?"
Kili looks at him unbelievingly, his tears are slowly subsiding.
"Then it is a woman and you did like it?"
The younger one shakes his head. "Please stop", he pleads. "I… I don't want you to know."
The hurt is clearly visible in Fili's eyes. "Why not?"
Kili turns his head to look at the ceiling. "Because I don't want you to hate me", he admits.
Fili frowns. "How could I possibly hate you? Kili, you are… my brother. My family. I could never hate you, no matter who it is your heart chose." It is very rare, but not all dwarvish soul-bonds are mutual. "Is it someone I do hate? Because I could not imagine any other scenario that could involve me hating you. Well, not even this one does." He sighs. "Kili, I only want you to be happy. Even if it means that I lose you."
Kili lifts his head off the pillow. "Why would you lose me?"
This time it is Fili who cannot look his brother in the eye. "I do not want to share you", the older one confesses, whispering. "In no regard."
Kili's eyes widen and he feels hope awakening in his heart. "You…" He gulps. "You are my one", he then admits, risking everything.
Fili gasps for air and then he is pressing his brother against the bed once more, covering his younger brother's face with butterfly kisses. "And you are mine", he breathes before he presses his lips against Kili's and this time it is not that darkness in his chest, but his brother who is devouring him.
And that dark part of his heart? That is brightly lit and crying with joy, mostly because of Fili's talented tongue.