I picked up the scissors
I opened them with my hand the blades cold and hard
I gripped the bottom blade tightly
I could still feel my warm tired eyes giving off the last tears of frustration
The last tears of fear, of love, of pain, and the last tears of life
I was tired and I wanted to sleep
I wanted to sleep and never wake up
I wanted the pain to stop forever
The pain of love, of being alone, of being judged
The pain I was tired of feeling
As the thoughts continued through my head as the blade ran down my wrist
Suddenly my thoughts stopped
The pain took me over like the wind moves the leaves on a tree
Going in whatever way the wind carried you
The wind was taking me to two different kinds of pain physical or mental
I couldn't figure out which was worse
Which way to go, but then again it's not me in control
I looked down at my now bleeding wrist
The blood started to run down my arm along with the pains as a cold hard blade hit and scraped my skin
The red pain started to drip on the floor
The blade mirrored my blood wrists and arms
I could see all I had done
All of my problems I had tried to hide inside me
I wanted to see my pain the lingered inside me
How could I have something inside me so long and not know what it looks like?
I didn't want my pain to hide inside me anymore
But I was now hiding the pain from the world with bracelets and jackets
The world didn't understand me then why would it understand me now?
The people of the world don't understand how every word sticks with you like a cut on your skin
How every love you have is like a rollercoaster high and lows, but when you finally get off your depleted
But willing to experience it all again to know that someone somehow might love you
These were the things that slowly destroyed me
As I collapse I finally understand how to start building again