He wants to be an auror.
He wants to be an auror in the Ministry of Magic and fight next to all the other ones, no matter how much work it takes to do so. He has incredible dreams of fighting as a hero next to all the other ones. Maybe he doesn't realize it, but what he dreams are to continue doing what he's always done. It might seem crazy. He wants to keep fighting, he wants to keep up what has brought him so much pain. He wants to keep nearly getting killed it seems, keep being emotionally and physically hurt.
That's how it seems, anyway.
But he doesn't even seem to connect these two.
He's never really said exactly why he wants to keep doing this, just that it's something worth while. But it's not because he wants to keep being hurt. He just thinks it's worth it, worth it for all the pain for all the people who have always protected him. Worth it to make sure they stay safe.
He wants to be with Ginny Weasly.
It's not like it's all dramatic, and he's going to kill himself and her to be together, he'd never really do something like that. Ginny's not going to be on his mind every moment of every day. But if he was given the chance where no one would be hurt, he'd want to be with her. He's not going to obsess over it right now though. Maybe some day, if that day comes, when it's safe. But right now he has more important things to think about. Like trying to make sure that day comes.
He wants to do a lot of things. He wants to give the Weaslys' more money, he wants Lupin to have a cure for being a werewolf, he wants his two best friends to stop being idiots with each other no matter how ridiculous that sounds, he wants Sirius and Dumbledoor to be alive again.
He wants his parents back.
But these last few things he won't ever get.
He knows he won't, but he keeps on wanting. He knows he'll never get them back, but he keeps on wanting no matter how much it hurts him. He wants them back to make everyone happier, including himself. He wants his mother to smile at him and humiliate him by calling him ridiculous names in front large crowds. He wants his dad to get them both into raving trouble by going on what appeared to be an innocent flying trip over chain linked fences or something. He wants Sirius to be annoying to everyone and get Harry into trouble with his mother.
He wants Dumbledoor to speak in annoying riddles. He wants to have these things.
But I don't know if he really wants to live.
That sounds stupid, doesn't most of the things he want involve living? But there are so many ways that it could be that he wouldn't want to. He thinks about them too.
There are so many reasons he would throw his life away, and all for the things he wants. It doesn't make sense, but think about it. He would throw his life away for Ginny. He would he would throw his life away for a few aurors he knows probably. He would throw his life away for Lupin and any of the Weaslys and either one of his two idiot friends and if it was possible, he would give up his life to bring back his parents or Dumbledoor or Sirius. Or even Cedric.
These are examples as to when Harry would want to die.
For someone.
But in the end, he would rather nothing go wrong and he lived. That no one else would die, that he would be able to kill Voldemort without that going both ways. Without any more pain to anyone. And then after that people would be happy, the people who died would magically live again, he could be with Ginny, the Weaslys would get rich, Lupin would find a cure, and everyone would be happy.
But he knows it won't go like that. Maybe he even knows that in the end he probably will die. He just hopes that when he does, I will be worth it.