I am writing on a whim! I need to expand my writing styles (this one's called stupid!). Oh yeah and before Carpal Tunnel completely runs my life and I am forced to become so unappreciated housewife! But I also need to reach Nirvana here! Review and I will dig you mucho.
And the trouble ensues…..
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Hi, I'm Harry Potter.
And I am a homosexual." He wrote furiously; glad to get that off of his chest.
"That's a horrible way to start a journal!" He thought to himself, quickly ripping the page out and throwing it into the garbage can.
"It sounds like I'm in some muggle queer counseling or something!" he shouted in utter frustration, relieved he was in alone in the common room due to his impulsive outburst.
The room was unnervingly quiet; all of the Gryffindors had gone on the Hogsmeade trip.
He took a deep breath and tried again at his journal.
"I am Harry Potter andI am unfortunately in love with Draco Malfoy," he wrote with renewed vigor from his previous desperate outburst.
He paused for a short moment to about Hermione, his best friend since 1st year, he was glad she had decided to buy him a journal for his 15thbirthday instead of an everlasting chocolate frog, like his other best friend Ron. She thought it would be good for Harry to have an outlet for all of his newfound teenage angst.
He began writing again, "I remember the first time I became interested in Draco Malfoy. I think the first time I became to feel admiration for him was when I had decided to actually take the time out and critically look at him. It was during dinner. The only reason I was looking at him was because he thought it was appropriate to continually point out that Hermione is a "mud blood" so I thought it was only necessary I give him a good telling off."
Harry stopped for a minute to take a breath, it was sad that the thought of Draco sent his heart into all types of calamity.
After a good minute of deep breathing he picked up his quill and began writing again.
"But shortly after the telling off I decided to glare at him, but my face began to soften when I actually started looking at him. You see it was the way he picked up his goblet to drink his pumpkin juice."
Harry heard a noise near the door of the Common Room. It sounded at though a rather loud group of people were trying to stifle their laughter. He quickly stowed away his journal before he saw a pair of flaming red heads enter the Gryffindor common room.
"Hi Harry." Fred and George said simultaneously with mischievous grins on their faces.
"Oh, Hi," Harry said, starting to feel nervous under their wayward eyes.
"What have you been up to?" asked Fred curiously.
"Writing in your journal?' said George, barely giving Harry a chance to even register the question, and an even shorter time to realize what George had just revealed.
"And how would you know that!?" Harry asked, suddenly becoming all too aware of their cornering stances.
"Because we just noticed the way you were holding it. With such precision andgrace," answered George nonchalantly.
"Like a certain handsome blonde-haired Slytherin I might add," chimed Fred, his face turning red with delight.
"We were watching you the entire time you were writing," George said, "You know, for the destroyer of Voldemort, you really know how to procrastinate on your sexual views."
Harry took a wise choice to ignore the previous comment. "I am not going to lose it over a childish comment," he thought repeatedly, as though he were singing a Twisted Sisters song.
"But how? How did you know what I was writing? It's not like I was say it aloud or anything." Harry questioned turning the conversation into a somewhat cooler topic. Harry pondered for a moment, "Did I say that out loud?"
Both brothers clapped their hands on Harry's shoulders at the same time and pulled him towards a couch nearby.
When they were properly seated they took a deep, overly exaggerated breath and gave their reply.
"You see Harry we've discovered a new-found invention to help us pry even more mercilessly! It's like the bloody Marauder's of journals. We get to see what you write because we have another journal that allows us to see what you write in your journal." George answered with a "know-it-all" smile.
Harry was rendered speechless for a short moment. How is it possible that they have all these interesting inventions? What's next a talking Invisible Cloak?
"So where is this mysterious journal?" Harry questioned, finally understanding the seriousness of them being able to read all journals that is if it was in fact a proper Marauder's Journal.
"Oh my poor dear Harry," replied Fred imitating an almost perfect version of his mother, the always caring , "It wouldn't be a mystery if we told you, now would it?"
"But let's talk about something that isn't a mystery anymore. The ultimate Golden Boy, our star seeker for the Gryffindors is in ooey gooeylove with DRACO MALFOY!" exclaimed George sounding as though he had swallowed helium.
"EWWW! Draco Malfoy eats muggles for breakfast!" screamed Fred in the voice of a 3 year old.
"But now that we got that off our chest," said the twins in a calm, businesslike voice anddusting imaginary dirt of their bodies, "We're going to help you with Draco Malfoy."
Harry knew if he had a mirror at this very moment he would epitomize the look of skepticism and optimism perfectly in an equally balanced contortion on his face.
"O-Oh No," he stammered suddenly losing all color in his face, stomach violently churning with apprehension.
"O-Oh Yes," stammered George in mock fear.
"When we noticed your scribbles of writing—
"Seriously, Harry work on your penmanship it's like trying to decipher parsel tongue when reading your words! No wonder you get such low marks in Snape's!" interrupted George.
"As I was saying," Fred began again. Harry noted his quick glare to George and had to stifle his giggles, "We wrote up a plan for you to help you shag Malfoy!"
This time Harry was the one to glare, and also heard a stifled giggle from George by his left ear.
Fred pulled out a piece of parchment from his cloak. Harry looked at the two fiery red heads with open uncertainty.
"Go ahead and open it! It's not like we just put Snape in there after he graded your potions essay or something!" The twins high-fived each other and yelled "Inflamo-ed!" (Get it "Burned!")
Harry slowly unwrapped the parchment.
"To shag a Malfoy," Harry read aloud, "Original" he added with transparent sarcasm.
"HEY! You try working under limited time!" cried George offensively.
"Yeah we didn't know if you were going to continue or desecrate it like your first entry!" interjected Fred.
"We only managed to write one rule," said Fred pointing at a hastily written snippet.
"A young wizard must always look his best when trying to shag a most immaculate and well put together young lad like Draco Malfoy," started George taking on a tone of a professor, "Which is why our first rule is called "Dress to Impress."
"I'll take it from here ," interjected Fred in the same tone," Make sure to always mutter some type of glamour char, before leaving your dorm. A good one is Attractivio;it really gives you that extra little something before school starts! Try to wear the colors he likes! Let's be honest Harry, black suits you! No more ill-fitting clothes either! Tight is sexy! Show off that quidditch body! Sweet Cheeks! (George: 'Fred wrote this all on his own not me!')"
Harry blushed slightly after the "sweet cheeks" comment, although it was quickly lost when he remembered the rule.
"What I don't dress nicely?" Harry retorted.
"Well it's not exactly attractive," replied Fred trying to calm him. George apologetically patted him on the back.
They heard sounds from outside the common room.
"I guess the Gryffindors are back from Hogsmeade." noted Harry, relieved he would have time to think.
"Remember Harry Dress To Impress. We'll have the 2nd rule ready for you after three days!" reminded Fred.
"Can't wait to see you at lunch tomorrow!" exclaimed George excitedly, clapping his hand together like a first year at Honeydukes.
Yes, tomorrow would be an undoubtedly long day.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I know I know how dare she write something so stupid and utterly pointless! As I am trying to tell you I'm working on my stupid writing style! Review and I'll dig you mucho!!