Title – When First Love Begins
Started – 7-20-10, Tues (9AM)
Finished – 8-31-10 (Rewritten: 11-11-10, Thurs (2PM) )
Characters – Germany,
Genre - Romance
Rating – K
Upfront Summary [the summary that shows up with all the other information before you click on to read the story] = No. It's not supposed to mean anything. Yet there's something about those 'I love you's that gives me mixed feelings…The companion story to my "When First Love Ends", this time, told in Germany's point of view.
IMPORTANT!A/N – Edited for I Love My Fans for Valentines' Day in which I edit and upload for as many different writing projects as I can for Valentines' Day and spam your inbox! XD
A/N – The companion story to "When First Love Ends", my HRE!GermanyxItaly story. This story was written as "the other side of the story" kind of…yeah. XD I wrote Italy's side first so I bet it'd be better if you read that one first, but I've been getting mixed reviews about it, so it's up to you guys. ^^
If you find reading one side of the story first SUPREMELY better than reading this story though, please tell me so I can alert new readers! ^^
Common Key =
~~~(SceneChange/EndScene)~~~
"Dialogue"
Thoughts/Emphasis/Whispering/Non-English/Songlyrics/Flashback
EMPHASIS/LOUD
Narration
'So-called/Texts/Written'
Disclaimer = I do not own Axis Powers: Hetalia/APH. Hidekaz Himaruya does. If I did, I'd give Sealand a better catchphrase than "desu yo!~". :|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(When First Love Begins)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lie-ve?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~()~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am at a supermarket. The weather is warm. And I am slightly annoyed.
I'm with Italy. Well, not right now. He is waiting outside by the train station. The line is long and it's already begun snowing. He might have went ahead and gone to my house.
These groceries here are for dinner tonight. I'm preparing it for him, though, his own pasta might be preferable. Then he exclaimed that he loved me when I said that he could cook pasta too.
Hm.
This line. It's taking too long for me to get to him. That Italy. It reminds me of the delays I would always have when rescuing him. As I'd wait for the order, fill out the paperwork or whatever it was, I would imagine the fear in those simple eyes of his and get just a bit madder. Sometimes boiling mad. And when I'd save him from whatever country or animal, he would declare, "I love you!". He always does.
…No, it's not supposed to mean anything. He says it often; it's commonplace for Italians. Although I don't see him running off to any girls and confessing, I doubt it's meant to mean anything.
It would make sense like that.
Yet, there's something about those 'I love you's that gives me mixed feelings. It's almost as though he's saying it on purpose. It's not the superficial love France claims to have for all that moves, nor the cruel unrequited love Lithuania appears to have for Belarus. It bothers me a bit.
I've never mentioned this to him though. Not in a way that would stir answers in him.
But I will today. Over this dinner I'll make.
And I grow warm at that thought. That I'll sort all this out with Italy tonight.
Why he still says 'I love you'.
"Hey, get your butt in gear, da ze!"
"O-Oh, sorry."
It appears to be my fault this time, this delay.
Yes, I should be the one to fix things.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~()~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I begin to smile as I see Italy off in the distance by the train station, though a film of guilt can't help but settle on top of me at the thought of making him wait in the cold.
He's trembling and there's this glistening moisture on his cheeks that makes my stomach twist.
"Italy."
He turns this way and I take note of all the splendor around me. My country is covered in sparkling white snow, the decorations are up, and though there are few people out in such weather, they are very merry indeed. But it is only a sad attempt for a distraction. Because all the wonder in the world can't make me ignore the tears flying from his eyes.
"Are you alright?" Who did it? They'll taste my whip.
"Yep, just a little cold." He's lying to my face. I can easily read him like a book. And he's lying. Holding his frail body to keep warm, smiling innocently to try and fool me.
"I'm sorry."
I'm…
"The line was a little long."
I'm the fool.
His eyes fade into a double-lined, blank stupor as he responds, "It's okay, I understand."
But I don't. I don't get it at all.
What is it? Go on, say it.
But he doesn't say anything. I've already lost him to his own thoughts. But they must not be of the regular kind. The glances that I steal of him in this heavy weather… Granted, I've never really understood him; he is some kind of strange and wonderful country – this person. But whatever they are, these thoughts that he thinks make his lips curl slightly into a frown.
And I want to know.
I want to know.
But you won't tell me, will you. You're just going to keep hiding it with simple smiles and more declarations of love and I'll believe you every, single time.
Everyone else is gone, but you don't look at me. You only glance around, smile, frown, and stare at the dirty snow below as if they have the answers you're searching for. As the minutes come and go, the silence becomes incredibly unbearable. As the trains pass us one by one, possibly along with the one that should take us home, your lips quiver.
This can't be something exclusively Italian. It's only you, Feliciano Vargas. Italy. Only you seem to know this secret that contorts your face when you think no one is looking.
I can't stand aside and let those thoughts run amok when I do not even know the cause.
I promise not to yell at you anymore.
Trust that. Trust me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~()~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It takes me so long just to speak, but I decide that I have to. "Now we have to go." I can see something like anger bubble just below the surface, and I wait for you to snap. But, again, you cover it up. You calm down and take on that sorrowful look that makes me sick to my stomach.
What…This…I can't be a part of you. I know the perils of the Great Roman Empire, his monologues verbatim. Every date of every conquest. But you Italy…you are an even greater mystery.
I've never understood you.
"…you must let me go…" I almost don't hear it.
And I realize it's because I don't want to.
Italy. Do you even know it? You give me strength.
You're my company, my favorite country.
Ve!~ You're so strong!
Hug me!
Germany! Germany! I love you!
"I love you too."
I don't say it because it's right.
I don't say it because it's wrong.
I don't say it to upset you, but it seems to be doing that.
Your eyes are wide and I can see your thoughts racing, your heart pounding out of your chest just like mine. You finally look at me, and I can't help but feel happy. I won't say anymore until you do though.
I have been meaning to do this. To clarify our relationship.
I say it knowing why this time. It's not because a manual told me so. It's because I mean it. I mean it with everything that I am and everything you've made me into.
"Germany-" It took you too long, and, Gott, I just want to close the distance and wrap my arms around you.
I love you, Italy, and I know exactly what I'm doing now.
I'm holding you, whispering sweet nothings in your ear.
And the world as we know it, all our worries, fade and disappear.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~()~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nothing has changed really. It's embarrassing to think that we were already so much like a couple. But as he drags me to the diner by the station for our countless anniversary meal today, I realize otherwise. As I kiss his forehead lightly and whisper, "I love you", and he smiles that smile I fell in love with – among other things – and whispers "I love you too", I change my mind.
If I had never confidently said those words, I would never be able to hear that beloved "I love you too".
What if I hadn't?
If I were to never have you in this eternal life, what would our world be like?
I don't want to ever know.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(When First Love Ends)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N –
"When we pass by this place the same time next year, I wonder what I'd be like, and what kind of person would you have become?"
That is the line that should be in your head. And that is why I uploaded Germany's side to "When First Love Ends" on New Year's Eve! XD
Welp, tell me if Germany became too OOC too fast and HAVE A SUPER-SPECIAL-AWESOME-HETA-HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Best wishes,
~TMRomance
PS – I will read and write more fanfiction.
PS – I'll try to practice other forms of cooking other than microwaving food.
PS – I'll stop crushing on boys that think they're smarter than me and more good-looking than me. *shifty eyes*
PPS – Two people who are good friends that become a couple may think right away that it's no big change. But once hearing that "I love you", that warm feeling that takes over the body makes the whole idea worthwhile. I like how I edited it to be much clearer this time around. ^^