Title: Two lunatics in Hogwarts
Author: Jay-Cee and Dracosgrl (Well she helped a bit, and is also yelling at me), Epiphany contributed by laughing and telling me when I went a little #Epiphany: A LITTLE#, shut up, overboard.
Diclaimer: I don't own them but my god if I ever and I mean ever get my hands on Ron Weasley then he'll know who owns him, Epiphany owns Aisling and Beth, even if I am Beth #Epiphany: Your my bitch#.
Anyway this is the sequel to the magnificent Two lunatics and a Sith Lord, helps if you read it but not necessary #Epiphany: Yes it is I want reviews#, well you heard her. Hope all the Sith Lord fans like this even if Vader isn't in it, sorry but Vader 'V' Voldie, not in this story. Enjoy and Review. Flames will be used in Potions class.
CHAPTER 1: How not to stay hidden in Hogwarts.
It was midnight in Hogwarts and all through the school nothing was moving, well except for Peeves, Filch and that bloody cat. The great hall was lit by the enchanted ceiling, a blue glow filling the room. The blue glow was replaced with a red flash before two girls and various bags and boxes appeared. The taller opened her mouth to scream, the shorter clapping her hand over it just in time.
'Ssh Aisling, you wanna wake the whole school' Beth asked removing her hand
'Well It's an idea' Aisling hissed angrily 'What the hell were you thinking huh, Hogwarts indeed.'
'Well I couldn't let Vader destroy home, I mean come on.'
'So now he'll destroy Potterverse' Aisling seethed
'Not really likely. I don't think that contraption could realistically record co-ordinants, and even if it did it would be virtually impossible for them to find this place' Beth said matter of factly
Aisling gaped for a minute before sighing
'Well that's your burst of intelligence used up for the year.'
'Some how I doubt that Ais, after all who knows more about this place then me'
'J.K.Rowling' Aisling offered helpfully
'Okay which of us knows more about Hogwarts'
'Okay, you, for once are the smart one. Repeat that and die'
'Sure sure, forgotten already. Now we're in Hogwarts right, During a school year, which means that somewhere in this building Ron Weasley and Draco Malfoy are curled up in bed, blissfully unaware of our presence. Am I right'
'Your right, continue' Aisling smirked wanting to know exactly what Beth's devious mind had cooked up
'To tell the truth, no-one knows we are here, or that we exist' Beth was pacing now as her plan formulated 'Have you ever read the books and wished you could just be there, well now we are. The third floor corridor, Chamber of Secrets, Shrieking Shack all accessable because we know how. Now firstly we need a base, Third floor might be easiest, just don't go looking for the Mirror of Erised. Part B. We need the Gryffindor password, should be easy enough to obtain. Then having secured that information we need to find Harry's dorm room, and you need to keep me from Ron. We, having infiltrated The dorm, must steal Harry's invisibility cloak and the Maurauders map. Part C. To infiltrate the forbidden section and find suitably lethal spells. Part D. Havoc'
'Sir yes sir' Aisling saluted
'Now' Beth smiled 'let's get this show on the road'
The two gathered up their bags and sauntered out. Aisling remarkably proud of the plan Beth had concocted.
'Hold on' Aisling hissed 'Fluffy'
'Yeah' Beth shrugged
'Big insane dog, how do you hope to get passed it'
Beth turned to her friend and smiled 'Dogs run from evil right'
'Yeah'
'Well one wiff of us and he'll run'
Aisling shook her head and sighed as they continued walking.
As luck would have it Fluffy was gone and the two girls were able to set up a fairly comfortable hide out on the Chess board. Beth wandered to the side and crouched beside a fallen knight
'I wonder if this is Ron's knight'
'Probably' Aisling sighed 'Please don't do anything obscene'
'As if' Beth grunted standing again 'Come on let's go, It's nearly 8, we'll get the password some how'
They made their way to Fluffy's room, before they began their sleath mode, which consisted of hiding until the coast was clear and then running like a Acromantula was after them. After a few wrong turns, moving stair cases and near misses with teachers they found the portrait of the fat lady.
'Now what' Aisling asked
Beth looked around before pulling back a tapestry, a little hollow was hidden behind it with just enough room for the two to slip in. As the tapestry stopped moving the portrait swung open.
'Come on, food' A male yelled
'Coming' Another roared from further in before skidding into the hallway
'Honestly, you's swear your mother never feeds you Ron' A female voice admonished
Behind the tapestry Aisling grabbed Beth just in time earning a puppy dog look.
'Oh back off, Herm'
'Hey Hermione, Head girl, best friend'
'What Harry'
'What's the password'
'Hocus pocus, Seamus picked it don't ask' Hermione sighed
'Thanks' Harry replied as the three moved out of hearing range
'Hear that' Beth asked as they moved from the hollow
'Yeah, Hocus pocus'
'No' Beth replied as the portrait swung open 'Hermione's head girl, meaning their seventh years, which means. Ron's only a year younger then me'
'Yeeh, Hey hell yeah Draco too' Aisling smiled as they walked through the abandoned common room 'It also makes the search easier'
'Hmm, now let's find what we came for and use them to get food'
The two girls found the boys dorm and as Aisling made for Harry's bed Beth made a leap into Ron's
'It smells like him'
'Hun, you have no idea what he smells like'
'Well he's like' She took a long sniff of his pillow 'Dirt and potions and, and chocolate'
'Psycho' Aisling muttered as she rummaged through the trunk at the foot of Harry's bed 'Oh Harry silk boxers' The girl giggled twirling them on her finger
'Ugh, Harry's underwear' Beth gagged. Aisling tossed them aside
'I agree. Oh lookie chocolate frogs and yes got them'
'Cool' Beth laughed as she stood from Ron's bed
'Shall we head' Aisling asked
Beth looked around the room and saw that Ron's spare robes were draped over his chest. Picking them up she stuffed them into her denim shoulder bag along with a tie fron Dean's bed.
'We shall'
Aislisng sighed and shook her head, but knowing better then to get between Beth and something Weasley, yes the wallet incident was still fresh in her mind.
In the Great Hall the many students sat eating breakfast and chating peacefully until Ron leapt about a mile in the air
'Right who pinched my arse' He threw a look at Lavender beside him
'Not me' She said waving her hands about
'Huh' Harry asked looking up from his food
'Hey sexy' A sweet voice whispered in the red heads ear
'What the' He yelped whirling around.
'See ya later, only you won't see me' The voice giggled, a loud smack was heard followed by 'Alright Ais, we'll go see Malfoy, bloody hell, he's only a Spike wannabe if you ask me'
Draco's head snapped up in horror and he glanced around fearfully
'Bethany, he know's now'
'Geez what a shame, you won't be able to cop a feel' The voice's were now near the Ravenclaw table
'I never said that'
'Who is that' Snape yelled
There was a gasp and suddenly 'Alan Rickman, man you are cute' Rang out and a pair of nike clad feet appeared as the other voice apparently jumped up and down
'Beth' Aisling growled before grabbing her friend and dragging her from the room. As the 'oww, oww oww's' left the room there was a sharp yell of
'They know now you dense irritating beast of burden'
A giggle at that was swiftly stopped with a loud smacking sound and a yelp
'Like oww' Beth roared.
The students looked at each other, it sounded as if full scale war was about to break out
'They still don't know what I look like'
'No but they know my shoes, even if we disguised ourselves, how many wizaeds wear Nike Cortex'
'Well you have all the shoes from shopping, The red boots, the black slapper boots, The reebok classics, the fila shoes' Beth roared back
'Argh' Aisling screamed 'And now they know them to. And while we're on the subject, you bought new shoes, why must you wear those ratty things'
'Their comfy'
'They smell like a rotting corpse'
'Oh, you smell rotting corpse's alot do you'
'You'll be a rotting corpse in a minute'
'I'd like to see you try, Affor'
Aisling stopped , a dangerous glint in her eyes before laughing
'What' Beth yelled still enraged
'The last time you called me that'
'Yeah' Beth smirked 'Got away scott free'
'No you didn't. That George you, shagged. It was XIZOR'
'WHY' Beth screamed 'You, you bitch, you whore, you, Omigod, how'
'Vader'
'VADER, VADER. THAT MALIGENT FUCK PIG, WAIT TIL I CATCH HIM, PINK UNDERWEAR WILL BE THE LAST OF HIS PROBLEMS. I'LL SHUT HIM IN A ROOM, EAT LIKE FIFTY CANS OF BEANS, RIP HIS VIZOR OFF AND FART LIKE I HAVE NEVER FARTED BEFORE. AND YOU, YOU CRAB INFESTED WHORE OF A FYRAL WITH B.O. I'LL RIP YOU APART, THE WIZARDING WORLDS SCARED SHITLESS OF VOLDEMORT WELL THEY AIN'T BLOODY WELL SEEN ME MAD YET' Beth took a deep breath before stalking off right to their hide out, Aisling still stood in the enterance way covered in the invisibility clock
'I'm in mucho trouble' She muttered before going to the kitchens in the hope of appeaseing her friend with chocolate.
Beth was seething, she had to get even, no holes barred. This was war. Oh she would play nicey-nicey with Aisling but when the time was right bam. Even if it meant transporting David to Hogwarts. Aisling Theresa O'Connell was going down,even if it meant Beth had to knock Hogwarts to do it. Scowling the girl moved to her portion of the hide out and pulled out her books and that's how Aisling found her five minutes later, head down as she reread Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
'Uh, Hey Beth' Aisling said as she approached
'Aisling'
'I, uh brought you chocolate, make it up to you'
Beth looked up sourly debating hitting Aisling with a near-by Buffy box set.
'I'm going out' Beth said standing and picking up the invisability cloak
Aisling watched her friend disappear before sighing 'Worth a shot'
Looking at the chocolate in her hand
'Her lose is my chocolatey goodness'
Beth stalked towards the libray, maybe she could find that book on Polyjuice potion. Actually doing the spell would be tricky. She need a witch or wizard to help. Hermione would be best only getting her to help might be a problem, Ron might be up for it but, she wouldn't be thinking about potions with him around, Harry would probably be best, the only problem with him would be seeing Ron. She stopped and smiled as the perfect candiate came to mind. Draco, if he helped her trick Aisling into beleiving she was about to shag Malfoy, Beth would give him whatever he wanted, plus he was Slytherin, the chance to torment someone usually worked. Beth was pulled out of her musings by a tall red head crashing into her
'Hey' she yelped pushing him back 'I don't care how good looking you are, you don't own the damn hall'
'Huh' He asked looking around before realising 'Great, I'm stuck with one of the nutters'
'Nutter' Beth yelped before smacking him on the head with her book, sending him to the floor.
Minutes later he woke to a heavy feeling on his chest, two denim clad knees either side of his chest
'Oh god, are you okay' She asked, a soft hand running over his forehead 'You've got Otter, f Fire, kinda mashed into your head, I'm real sorry'
'S'ok' Ron replied groggily rubbing his head, hissing slightly as he rubbed a particularily sore spot.
Beth chewed her lip, bashing Ron Weasley was not on her to do list, really didn't help her in getting him into bed although if he was concussed. Leaning down she stared into his eyes trying to find some sign of dazedness and without realising let the invisibility clock fall over his head. She pulled away and the two stared at each other.
'Uh Hi, I'm Bethany Walsh'
'Ron Weasley'
'Oh I know' She smiled
Ron's ears went pink and he muttered 'Yeah, probably cause I'm Harry's friend'
'What, Potter, eww no, definatly no. Gack, he's worse then Xizor Although yeah he's the reason your wrote about'
She held up her book.
'Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire' Ron read
'Yep, See I'm not from this world, and in my world all this Hogwarts, everything are fiction. Just characters from books and movies. Although Ais has these disgusting names for the series, Harry Pothead and the Cannabis Haul, Harry Pothead and the Chamber of Semen, Harry Pothead and the Prostitutes of Azkabhan and Harry Pothead and The Condom of Fire, which sounds really painful'
'Right' Ron said skeptically 'How'd you get here'
'Oh, yelled Hogwarts at a matter transmitter' She shrugged simply, like it was the most obvious thing ever
To anyone passing it would have been a funny picture, Ron Weasley's legs sprawled on the floor, his hands resting on invisible air and a pair of knees the only things visible.
'Muggle's' The red head wizard muttered
'What's wrong with us' Beth smiled
'Yer're all insane'
'No, not all muggles, just me and Aisling. And our friend Sarah, oh man now Sarah that's a mental case for ya'
'Right' Ron laughed
'Am I squishing you' She asked
'Nah' He shrugged 'You not that heavy'
Beth smiled widely and planted a kiss on his cheek 'That's the nicest thing anyone ever said to me'
Ron blushed again 'No problem'
'So Ron' She asked, casually she hoped 'Got a girlfriend'
'No' He told her 'Why'
'No reason' It was her turn now to blush
He leaned up as she leaned down, their lips millimeters apart when
'BETH' RON'
Ron groaned and dropped his head back as Beth rested her head on his shoulder.
The invisibility clock was lifted revealing Aisling smirking at them, dressed in Slytherin robes, Harry laughing lightly and Hermione rolling her eyes.
'Have I ever told you two how great your timing isn't' Ron asked his friends as Beth moved off him
'Interrupt did we' Aisling giggled.
'Kinda' Beth seethed as she stood 'But not for long'
She grabbed the boys tie and pulled him after her
'Harry, Hermione he won't be around for the rest of the day'
'Poor boy won't walk straight for a week.' Aisling laughed turning back to the other two.
'So your one of the nutters'
'Yep that's me. Aisling O'Connell at your service'
'That's my invisibility clock' Harry pointed out
'Yeah we need it, to um cause havoc. I'm actually just on my way to raid Filch's office, wanna help'
'Sure' Harry shrugged tossing his books to Hermione
'I'll go cause a distraction' Hermione sighed
'Just tell Beth Ron's part lizard, she'll do the rest'
Hermione nodded and went to find Beth and Ron before they got to carried away, she still had a scar from when he threw Lavender's high heel at her.
Harry and Aisling sat on the floor opposite Filch's office waiting for him to leave it. The door suddenly flew open and He raced past, Ms Norris at his heels muttering about 'Damn seventh years, think they can do what they want cause their of legal age'
'Do I wanna ask' Harry said turning to Aisling.
'Probably not'
Hermione had found Ron and Beth trying to get past Colin Creevey in the common Room and told Beth Aisling needed a distraction.
'Okay hello I'm Beth and I'll be providing todays entertainment, courtesy of Lunatics Inc, Right Lavender, Ginny, Hermione, Pavrati, Round up the sixth years and dress slutty. Ron, Floo to Hogsmede get alcohol. Seamus, Dean is there anyway to play music'
'Yeah I have a modified C.D. Player' Dean told her
'Get it and play this' Beth pulled a C.D from her shoulder bag
'Neville, make it rain in the great Hall. Creevey, get pictures.'
As Beth dashed into an empty room and changed, Ron appeared back with Fred and George in tow.
'Fred' Hermione squeaked running down the stairs to him
'Woah Hermione' Ron gaped. Beth entered the room completing the group of ten girls, all wearing Hotpants, skirts that could pass for belts, boob tubes and bra tops.
'Alcohol' Beth asked
'Right here' Ron, Fred and George held up bags of bottles.
Beth passed out the bottles while talking 'Okay, every girl here partner up, preferably with a boy you won't mind dirty dancing with. P.S Ron's mine'
'Okay, ready' She asked at the group set out.
Harry and Aisling were just entering the office when a loud blast of music filled the school.
'What's that' Harry asked
'Christina Aguilera Dirrty, Beth has rose to the occasion.'
'Wha' Harry replied
'I'm guessing right now, there's some very un appropriate behaviour in the Great Hall'
Harry shook his head and headed to the draw marked Highly dangerous.
Pulling out Dungbombs, canary creams and several thinks purely of Fred and George's devisment he filled the bag. Aisling searched the Weasley twins record and pulled out a hardback science book. Flipping it open she smirked
'Hey Harry, I found the twins book o' plots. Fancy turning Snape into a woman, or Hey this one is good, way good' Aisling smirked a plot forming in her devious mind.
'Ready' Harry asked
'Ready'
The two threw the invisibility clock over themselves when The door flew open and Dumbledore, Snape and Filch entered followed by Hermione, Fred, George, Lavender, Beth, Ron, Ginny and Seamus, all very wet and the boys all shirtless as the girls attempted to cover themselves in Snape's presence
'What were you thinking' Snape roared
'We weren't' Ron offered
'At least not with out brains' George muttered
'It was just dancing' Beth told the professor
'Using Mr. Weasley as a pole, virtully stripping him and then whatever it was you did to make him groan that loud is certainly not dancing. And who are you'
In the Corner Aisling was biting her hand trying not to laugh and Harry was going blue
'Beth Walsh' She smiled before sneezing
'And Miss Granger, Head girl. Dispite the fact that you and Mr. Weasley have been dating since your fifth year, it is hardly appropraite to straddled him on the table, and do, or attempt to do' Snape waved his hands around disgusted to say it 'That. And to then leave him and Join Miss Weasley in the most depraved action between two women I have ever seen'
Harry let out a snort and Aisling clutched her sides
'Geez, we're all young and meant to enjoy ourselves' Ron muttered
'Not by fornicating on the Slytherin table'
'Oh Malfoy's face' George laughed
'Put him right off his sausages' Lavender giggled
'And did you see McGonagall' Seamus gasped, 'When Ron took off his shirt, I swear she swooned'
'Hey, she'd better keep her professor aged mitts off my man' Beth said angrily
'Eww gross McGonagall' Ron grimaced
'The best was when Fred and George made that Hermione sandwich, Snape just about had heart failure' Ginny giggled
'What about you and Seamus, Triple X rated'
'Oh yeah, NC17' Ginny giggled
'Ronald, Hermione, Virginia, Seamus and Lavender. Three weeks detention. Fred, George as you are no longer students I can't punish you and Miss Walsh, are you a muggle' Dumbledore asked
'Yep' Beth smiled happily
'Then I'm afraid we'll have to remove your memories of Hogwarts' Dumbledore told her
'Hey, you can't do that to my girlfriend' Ron yelped
Still under the invisibility cloak, Harry and Aisling shared a look. Beth just about stayed standing, a doofy deliriously happy smile on her face.
'Oh, but we can. Mr.Weasley' Snape said stepping forward wand drawn.
Beth who had leaned on the table stared at the man coming towards her and panicked.
'See the bouy' She yelled pointing past Snape, who stopped bewildered and to the amazement of everyone else actually looked.
Beth turned and bolted, skidding through the hallways, an enraged Snape behind her, Ron chasing him
'Come back here' Snape roared
'Leave her alone' Ron bellowed.
Aisling made a gesture and together she and Harry snuck from the room, leaving a furious Filch, six teens in hysterics, an amazed transfiguration teacher and a Headmaster covering a smile.
Beth crashed through groups of students as she desperatly avoided Snape. She raced up a staircase and glanced back in time to see Snape at the bottom. She let out a whoop as the staircase changed.
'Oh, yeah, go staircase, go staircase'
Ron appeared through the doorway and watched her laughing as she danced
When the girl calmed down she winked at the red head 'See ya later babe' she waved before continuing back to the hide-out.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Well that's the first chapter, hope you enjoyed it, so review, review, review.
Author: Jay-Cee and Dracosgrl (Well she helped a bit, and is also yelling at me), Epiphany contributed by laughing and telling me when I went a little #Epiphany: A LITTLE#, shut up, overboard.
Diclaimer: I don't own them but my god if I ever and I mean ever get my hands on Ron Weasley then he'll know who owns him, Epiphany owns Aisling and Beth, even if I am Beth #Epiphany: Your my bitch#.
Anyway this is the sequel to the magnificent Two lunatics and a Sith Lord, helps if you read it but not necessary #Epiphany: Yes it is I want reviews#, well you heard her. Hope all the Sith Lord fans like this even if Vader isn't in it, sorry but Vader 'V' Voldie, not in this story. Enjoy and Review. Flames will be used in Potions class.
CHAPTER 1: How not to stay hidden in Hogwarts.
It was midnight in Hogwarts and all through the school nothing was moving, well except for Peeves, Filch and that bloody cat. The great hall was lit by the enchanted ceiling, a blue glow filling the room. The blue glow was replaced with a red flash before two girls and various bags and boxes appeared. The taller opened her mouth to scream, the shorter clapping her hand over it just in time.
'Ssh Aisling, you wanna wake the whole school' Beth asked removing her hand
'Well It's an idea' Aisling hissed angrily 'What the hell were you thinking huh, Hogwarts indeed.'
'Well I couldn't let Vader destroy home, I mean come on.'
'So now he'll destroy Potterverse' Aisling seethed
'Not really likely. I don't think that contraption could realistically record co-ordinants, and even if it did it would be virtually impossible for them to find this place' Beth said matter of factly
Aisling gaped for a minute before sighing
'Well that's your burst of intelligence used up for the year.'
'Some how I doubt that Ais, after all who knows more about this place then me'
'J.K.Rowling' Aisling offered helpfully
'Okay which of us knows more about Hogwarts'
'Okay, you, for once are the smart one. Repeat that and die'
'Sure sure, forgotten already. Now we're in Hogwarts right, During a school year, which means that somewhere in this building Ron Weasley and Draco Malfoy are curled up in bed, blissfully unaware of our presence. Am I right'
'Your right, continue' Aisling smirked wanting to know exactly what Beth's devious mind had cooked up
'To tell the truth, no-one knows we are here, or that we exist' Beth was pacing now as her plan formulated 'Have you ever read the books and wished you could just be there, well now we are. The third floor corridor, Chamber of Secrets, Shrieking Shack all accessable because we know how. Now firstly we need a base, Third floor might be easiest, just don't go looking for the Mirror of Erised. Part B. We need the Gryffindor password, should be easy enough to obtain. Then having secured that information we need to find Harry's dorm room, and you need to keep me from Ron. We, having infiltrated The dorm, must steal Harry's invisibility cloak and the Maurauders map. Part C. To infiltrate the forbidden section and find suitably lethal spells. Part D. Havoc'
'Sir yes sir' Aisling saluted
'Now' Beth smiled 'let's get this show on the road'
The two gathered up their bags and sauntered out. Aisling remarkably proud of the plan Beth had concocted.
'Hold on' Aisling hissed 'Fluffy'
'Yeah' Beth shrugged
'Big insane dog, how do you hope to get passed it'
Beth turned to her friend and smiled 'Dogs run from evil right'
'Yeah'
'Well one wiff of us and he'll run'
Aisling shook her head and sighed as they continued walking.
As luck would have it Fluffy was gone and the two girls were able to set up a fairly comfortable hide out on the Chess board. Beth wandered to the side and crouched beside a fallen knight
'I wonder if this is Ron's knight'
'Probably' Aisling sighed 'Please don't do anything obscene'
'As if' Beth grunted standing again 'Come on let's go, It's nearly 8, we'll get the password some how'
They made their way to Fluffy's room, before they began their sleath mode, which consisted of hiding until the coast was clear and then running like a Acromantula was after them. After a few wrong turns, moving stair cases and near misses with teachers they found the portrait of the fat lady.
'Now what' Aisling asked
Beth looked around before pulling back a tapestry, a little hollow was hidden behind it with just enough room for the two to slip in. As the tapestry stopped moving the portrait swung open.
'Come on, food' A male yelled
'Coming' Another roared from further in before skidding into the hallway
'Honestly, you's swear your mother never feeds you Ron' A female voice admonished
Behind the tapestry Aisling grabbed Beth just in time earning a puppy dog look.
'Oh back off, Herm'
'Hey Hermione, Head girl, best friend'
'What Harry'
'What's the password'
'Hocus pocus, Seamus picked it don't ask' Hermione sighed
'Thanks' Harry replied as the three moved out of hearing range
'Hear that' Beth asked as they moved from the hollow
'Yeah, Hocus pocus'
'No' Beth replied as the portrait swung open 'Hermione's head girl, meaning their seventh years, which means. Ron's only a year younger then me'
'Yeeh, Hey hell yeah Draco too' Aisling smiled as they walked through the abandoned common room 'It also makes the search easier'
'Hmm, now let's find what we came for and use them to get food'
The two girls found the boys dorm and as Aisling made for Harry's bed Beth made a leap into Ron's
'It smells like him'
'Hun, you have no idea what he smells like'
'Well he's like' She took a long sniff of his pillow 'Dirt and potions and, and chocolate'
'Psycho' Aisling muttered as she rummaged through the trunk at the foot of Harry's bed 'Oh Harry silk boxers' The girl giggled twirling them on her finger
'Ugh, Harry's underwear' Beth gagged. Aisling tossed them aside
'I agree. Oh lookie chocolate frogs and yes got them'
'Cool' Beth laughed as she stood from Ron's bed
'Shall we head' Aisling asked
Beth looked around the room and saw that Ron's spare robes were draped over his chest. Picking them up she stuffed them into her denim shoulder bag along with a tie fron Dean's bed.
'We shall'
Aislisng sighed and shook her head, but knowing better then to get between Beth and something Weasley, yes the wallet incident was still fresh in her mind.
In the Great Hall the many students sat eating breakfast and chating peacefully until Ron leapt about a mile in the air
'Right who pinched my arse' He threw a look at Lavender beside him
'Not me' She said waving her hands about
'Huh' Harry asked looking up from his food
'Hey sexy' A sweet voice whispered in the red heads ear
'What the' He yelped whirling around.
'See ya later, only you won't see me' The voice giggled, a loud smack was heard followed by 'Alright Ais, we'll go see Malfoy, bloody hell, he's only a Spike wannabe if you ask me'
Draco's head snapped up in horror and he glanced around fearfully
'Bethany, he know's now'
'Geez what a shame, you won't be able to cop a feel' The voice's were now near the Ravenclaw table
'I never said that'
'Who is that' Snape yelled
There was a gasp and suddenly 'Alan Rickman, man you are cute' Rang out and a pair of nike clad feet appeared as the other voice apparently jumped up and down
'Beth' Aisling growled before grabbing her friend and dragging her from the room. As the 'oww, oww oww's' left the room there was a sharp yell of
'They know now you dense irritating beast of burden'
A giggle at that was swiftly stopped with a loud smacking sound and a yelp
'Like oww' Beth roared.
The students looked at each other, it sounded as if full scale war was about to break out
'They still don't know what I look like'
'No but they know my shoes, even if we disguised ourselves, how many wizaeds wear Nike Cortex'
'Well you have all the shoes from shopping, The red boots, the black slapper boots, The reebok classics, the fila shoes' Beth roared back
'Argh' Aisling screamed 'And now they know them to. And while we're on the subject, you bought new shoes, why must you wear those ratty things'
'Their comfy'
'They smell like a rotting corpse'
'Oh, you smell rotting corpse's alot do you'
'You'll be a rotting corpse in a minute'
'I'd like to see you try, Affor'
Aisling stopped , a dangerous glint in her eyes before laughing
'What' Beth yelled still enraged
'The last time you called me that'
'Yeah' Beth smirked 'Got away scott free'
'No you didn't. That George you, shagged. It was XIZOR'
'WHY' Beth screamed 'You, you bitch, you whore, you, Omigod, how'
'Vader'
'VADER, VADER. THAT MALIGENT FUCK PIG, WAIT TIL I CATCH HIM, PINK UNDERWEAR WILL BE THE LAST OF HIS PROBLEMS. I'LL SHUT HIM IN A ROOM, EAT LIKE FIFTY CANS OF BEANS, RIP HIS VIZOR OFF AND FART LIKE I HAVE NEVER FARTED BEFORE. AND YOU, YOU CRAB INFESTED WHORE OF A FYRAL WITH B.O. I'LL RIP YOU APART, THE WIZARDING WORLDS SCARED SHITLESS OF VOLDEMORT WELL THEY AIN'T BLOODY WELL SEEN ME MAD YET' Beth took a deep breath before stalking off right to their hide out, Aisling still stood in the enterance way covered in the invisibility clock
'I'm in mucho trouble' She muttered before going to the kitchens in the hope of appeaseing her friend with chocolate.
Beth was seething, she had to get even, no holes barred. This was war. Oh she would play nicey-nicey with Aisling but when the time was right bam. Even if it meant transporting David to Hogwarts. Aisling Theresa O'Connell was going down,even if it meant Beth had to knock Hogwarts to do it. Scowling the girl moved to her portion of the hide out and pulled out her books and that's how Aisling found her five minutes later, head down as she reread Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
'Uh, Hey Beth' Aisling said as she approached
'Aisling'
'I, uh brought you chocolate, make it up to you'
Beth looked up sourly debating hitting Aisling with a near-by Buffy box set.
'I'm going out' Beth said standing and picking up the invisability cloak
Aisling watched her friend disappear before sighing 'Worth a shot'
Looking at the chocolate in her hand
'Her lose is my chocolatey goodness'
Beth stalked towards the libray, maybe she could find that book on Polyjuice potion. Actually doing the spell would be tricky. She need a witch or wizard to help. Hermione would be best only getting her to help might be a problem, Ron might be up for it but, she wouldn't be thinking about potions with him around, Harry would probably be best, the only problem with him would be seeing Ron. She stopped and smiled as the perfect candiate came to mind. Draco, if he helped her trick Aisling into beleiving she was about to shag Malfoy, Beth would give him whatever he wanted, plus he was Slytherin, the chance to torment someone usually worked. Beth was pulled out of her musings by a tall red head crashing into her
'Hey' she yelped pushing him back 'I don't care how good looking you are, you don't own the damn hall'
'Huh' He asked looking around before realising 'Great, I'm stuck with one of the nutters'
'Nutter' Beth yelped before smacking him on the head with her book, sending him to the floor.
Minutes later he woke to a heavy feeling on his chest, two denim clad knees either side of his chest
'Oh god, are you okay' She asked, a soft hand running over his forehead 'You've got Otter, f Fire, kinda mashed into your head, I'm real sorry'
'S'ok' Ron replied groggily rubbing his head, hissing slightly as he rubbed a particularily sore spot.
Beth chewed her lip, bashing Ron Weasley was not on her to do list, really didn't help her in getting him into bed although if he was concussed. Leaning down she stared into his eyes trying to find some sign of dazedness and without realising let the invisibility clock fall over his head. She pulled away and the two stared at each other.
'Uh Hi, I'm Bethany Walsh'
'Ron Weasley'
'Oh I know' She smiled
Ron's ears went pink and he muttered 'Yeah, probably cause I'm Harry's friend'
'What, Potter, eww no, definatly no. Gack, he's worse then Xizor Although yeah he's the reason your wrote about'
She held up her book.
'Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire' Ron read
'Yep, See I'm not from this world, and in my world all this Hogwarts, everything are fiction. Just characters from books and movies. Although Ais has these disgusting names for the series, Harry Pothead and the Cannabis Haul, Harry Pothead and the Chamber of Semen, Harry Pothead and the Prostitutes of Azkabhan and Harry Pothead and The Condom of Fire, which sounds really painful'
'Right' Ron said skeptically 'How'd you get here'
'Oh, yelled Hogwarts at a matter transmitter' She shrugged simply, like it was the most obvious thing ever
To anyone passing it would have been a funny picture, Ron Weasley's legs sprawled on the floor, his hands resting on invisible air and a pair of knees the only things visible.
'Muggle's' The red head wizard muttered
'What's wrong with us' Beth smiled
'Yer're all insane'
'No, not all muggles, just me and Aisling. And our friend Sarah, oh man now Sarah that's a mental case for ya'
'Right' Ron laughed
'Am I squishing you' She asked
'Nah' He shrugged 'You not that heavy'
Beth smiled widely and planted a kiss on his cheek 'That's the nicest thing anyone ever said to me'
Ron blushed again 'No problem'
'So Ron' She asked, casually she hoped 'Got a girlfriend'
'No' He told her 'Why'
'No reason' It was her turn now to blush
He leaned up as she leaned down, their lips millimeters apart when
'BETH' RON'
Ron groaned and dropped his head back as Beth rested her head on his shoulder.
The invisibility clock was lifted revealing Aisling smirking at them, dressed in Slytherin robes, Harry laughing lightly and Hermione rolling her eyes.
'Have I ever told you two how great your timing isn't' Ron asked his friends as Beth moved off him
'Interrupt did we' Aisling giggled.
'Kinda' Beth seethed as she stood 'But not for long'
She grabbed the boys tie and pulled him after her
'Harry, Hermione he won't be around for the rest of the day'
'Poor boy won't walk straight for a week.' Aisling laughed turning back to the other two.
'So your one of the nutters'
'Yep that's me. Aisling O'Connell at your service'
'That's my invisibility clock' Harry pointed out
'Yeah we need it, to um cause havoc. I'm actually just on my way to raid Filch's office, wanna help'
'Sure' Harry shrugged tossing his books to Hermione
'I'll go cause a distraction' Hermione sighed
'Just tell Beth Ron's part lizard, she'll do the rest'
Hermione nodded and went to find Beth and Ron before they got to carried away, she still had a scar from when he threw Lavender's high heel at her.
Harry and Aisling sat on the floor opposite Filch's office waiting for him to leave it. The door suddenly flew open and He raced past, Ms Norris at his heels muttering about 'Damn seventh years, think they can do what they want cause their of legal age'
'Do I wanna ask' Harry said turning to Aisling.
'Probably not'
Hermione had found Ron and Beth trying to get past Colin Creevey in the common Room and told Beth Aisling needed a distraction.
'Okay hello I'm Beth and I'll be providing todays entertainment, courtesy of Lunatics Inc, Right Lavender, Ginny, Hermione, Pavrati, Round up the sixth years and dress slutty. Ron, Floo to Hogsmede get alcohol. Seamus, Dean is there anyway to play music'
'Yeah I have a modified C.D. Player' Dean told her
'Get it and play this' Beth pulled a C.D from her shoulder bag
'Neville, make it rain in the great Hall. Creevey, get pictures.'
As Beth dashed into an empty room and changed, Ron appeared back with Fred and George in tow.
'Fred' Hermione squeaked running down the stairs to him
'Woah Hermione' Ron gaped. Beth entered the room completing the group of ten girls, all wearing Hotpants, skirts that could pass for belts, boob tubes and bra tops.
'Alcohol' Beth asked
'Right here' Ron, Fred and George held up bags of bottles.
Beth passed out the bottles while talking 'Okay, every girl here partner up, preferably with a boy you won't mind dirty dancing with. P.S Ron's mine'
'Okay, ready' She asked at the group set out.
Harry and Aisling were just entering the office when a loud blast of music filled the school.
'What's that' Harry asked
'Christina Aguilera Dirrty, Beth has rose to the occasion.'
'Wha' Harry replied
'I'm guessing right now, there's some very un appropriate behaviour in the Great Hall'
Harry shook his head and headed to the draw marked Highly dangerous.
Pulling out Dungbombs, canary creams and several thinks purely of Fred and George's devisment he filled the bag. Aisling searched the Weasley twins record and pulled out a hardback science book. Flipping it open she smirked
'Hey Harry, I found the twins book o' plots. Fancy turning Snape into a woman, or Hey this one is good, way good' Aisling smirked a plot forming in her devious mind.
'Ready' Harry asked
'Ready'
The two threw the invisibility clock over themselves when The door flew open and Dumbledore, Snape and Filch entered followed by Hermione, Fred, George, Lavender, Beth, Ron, Ginny and Seamus, all very wet and the boys all shirtless as the girls attempted to cover themselves in Snape's presence
'What were you thinking' Snape roared
'We weren't' Ron offered
'At least not with out brains' George muttered
'It was just dancing' Beth told the professor
'Using Mr. Weasley as a pole, virtully stripping him and then whatever it was you did to make him groan that loud is certainly not dancing. And who are you'
In the Corner Aisling was biting her hand trying not to laugh and Harry was going blue
'Beth Walsh' She smiled before sneezing
'And Miss Granger, Head girl. Dispite the fact that you and Mr. Weasley have been dating since your fifth year, it is hardly appropraite to straddled him on the table, and do, or attempt to do' Snape waved his hands around disgusted to say it 'That. And to then leave him and Join Miss Weasley in the most depraved action between two women I have ever seen'
Harry let out a snort and Aisling clutched her sides
'Geez, we're all young and meant to enjoy ourselves' Ron muttered
'Not by fornicating on the Slytherin table'
'Oh Malfoy's face' George laughed
'Put him right off his sausages' Lavender giggled
'And did you see McGonagall' Seamus gasped, 'When Ron took off his shirt, I swear she swooned'
'Hey, she'd better keep her professor aged mitts off my man' Beth said angrily
'Eww gross McGonagall' Ron grimaced
'The best was when Fred and George made that Hermione sandwich, Snape just about had heart failure' Ginny giggled
'What about you and Seamus, Triple X rated'
'Oh yeah, NC17' Ginny giggled
'Ronald, Hermione, Virginia, Seamus and Lavender. Three weeks detention. Fred, George as you are no longer students I can't punish you and Miss Walsh, are you a muggle' Dumbledore asked
'Yep' Beth smiled happily
'Then I'm afraid we'll have to remove your memories of Hogwarts' Dumbledore told her
'Hey, you can't do that to my girlfriend' Ron yelped
Still under the invisibility cloak, Harry and Aisling shared a look. Beth just about stayed standing, a doofy deliriously happy smile on her face.
'Oh, but we can. Mr.Weasley' Snape said stepping forward wand drawn.
Beth who had leaned on the table stared at the man coming towards her and panicked.
'See the bouy' She yelled pointing past Snape, who stopped bewildered and to the amazement of everyone else actually looked.
Beth turned and bolted, skidding through the hallways, an enraged Snape behind her, Ron chasing him
'Come back here' Snape roared
'Leave her alone' Ron bellowed.
Aisling made a gesture and together she and Harry snuck from the room, leaving a furious Filch, six teens in hysterics, an amazed transfiguration teacher and a Headmaster covering a smile.
Beth crashed through groups of students as she desperatly avoided Snape. She raced up a staircase and glanced back in time to see Snape at the bottom. She let out a whoop as the staircase changed.
'Oh, yeah, go staircase, go staircase'
Ron appeared through the doorway and watched her laughing as she danced
When the girl calmed down she winked at the red head 'See ya later babe' she waved before continuing back to the hide-out.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Well that's the first chapter, hope you enjoyed it, so review, review, review.